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» Ship of Fools   » Special interest discussion   » The Circus   » I fancy a game - Room 101? Have we done this before? (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: I fancy a game - Room 101? Have we done this before?
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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Cat, I hear you, really I do. Pink Floyd thought fifteen channels of shit on the TV to choose from was bad enough. Luxury! Luxury!

Amanda, fortunately we don't get too much of this, except on local news, and who bothers with that? Local news has always been crap; aliens could land in Abbeydale Park in Sheffield and it'd probably get a mention towards the end of Look North; meanwhile a lost dog in Leeds will be the lead story. But it's been like that since I were a lad (replace Sheffield with Bedford and Leeds with Norwich and you've got Look East, or, worse, God help us, Anglia TV) Somehow we survived, so we must look further I think.

Which brings us to LC's adverts. I hate to tell you this, but it's getting that bad here now. The pattern is this. Hour documentary. Four five minute advert breaks. So that's four ten minute segments. The last five minutes before "the break" tells you what will be after "the break". Then the first five minutes after "the break" will tell you what happened before "the break".

There's therefore ten minutes of actual content. And that's commonly shite.

I think they have some kind of random title generator for most digital channels - it mixes phrases like "best/worst ever", "from hell", "celebrity", "restaurant", "Gordon Ramsay's", "mad and dangerous" just to see what comes out.

So, because the phenomenon LC has put their finger on is such a Clear and Present danger, I think it warrants a robust and thorough solution. So into Room 101 go adverts, especially in their current digital telly incarnation. Ker-clink!

LC - your round.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Leaf
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# 14169

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Paging Leorning Cniht, paging Leorning Cniht, please report to the Circus deck for game continuation!
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
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# 17564

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Sorry folks - life happened. New topic coming up.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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Your neighbour hosts a party. You're having a good time, you've met an interesting person or two who you think might be a valued addition to your social circle, and are just getting yourself a new drink when he appears and starts going on. And on. And on. And on.

Yes, it's the party bore, and he has you cornered. What's he talking about?

[ 06. April 2017, 01:33: Message edited by: Leorning Cniht ]

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Sipech
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# 16870

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He's talking about the brand new guttering that he's just got, along with all the intricate details of how the drainage works. This is combined with what he believes is an amusing anecdote regarding the previous state of his guttering, which resulted in water being in a place it ought not to have been.

And I'm supposed to feign interest in this.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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I talk to myself at parties. So this always happens....


Anyhow, he is talking about his lower management job in an office somewhere, doing something, and most of his talk is about people above him (who are stupid) and the few below him (who are lazy). He always refers to them by their pay-grades, which is confusing. He discusses internal processes that nobody else ha a clue about, and laughs when people get the procedures wrong.

"And then he filled out a Z-332, instead of a Z-222a. You would have though as an S4 he would know the difference. And it came back from division with a comment - ha ha ha - about whether he was - is was so funny - mistaken or wanted that many staplers! I ask you. The fun we have!"

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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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He's talking about how he got to the party venue from home, primarily about every last intricacy of the route he took, including diversions because of roadworks and shortcuts that he knows because he's so clever.

If you don't get away from him in time, he'll also tell you about each of the idiot drivers he encountered on the way, precisely what they did that was so enraging, and what clever things he thought or said in response to their idiocy.

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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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He's a she and she talks endlessly about make-up and beauty treatments.

[Snore]

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Garden. Room. Walk

Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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He's telling me about his recent golf game -- every stroke, every hole. He seems to think golf is interesting. (The only thing more boring than playing golf is hearing about someone else playing it.)

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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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Oh I don't know. Anything financial, especially what a great mortgage deal people have is bloody tedious.

As I have no smalltalk whatsoever I take refuge in the kitchen. You get all the best people there, either doing useful stuff or talking about food, which is OK too.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
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# 17564

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Well, we seem to have quite a selection of bores to choose from. Perhaps we can introduce them to each other, and then go off somewhere else.

But we can only pick one to exile forever to "that table" at the wedding, so which one is it to be?

Jack the Lass offers up the road bore, and I feel her pain. But every now any then he'll mention that that pub outside Leighton Buzzard - you know the one, it's on the main road a couple of miles past the petrol station - has new management and now keeps a decent pint, or some other nugget of potentially useful information. So he's going to escape.

Schroedinger's cat offers the small-minded office bureaucrat, who can't see past the minutiae of his pointless employment. He's dull, but somehow mundane.

Sipech's Gutter Man and Sioni Sais's mortgage bore are rather similar - both tedious in the extreme, unless you happen by chance to be in the market for a gutter or a mortgage, but just ordinarily boring.

Pigwigeon offers the golfer, who is certainly a contender in this little bouquet of bordedom, but the saving grace of golfers is that they tend to seek out other golfers to regale with their tales, so they're a little easier for normal people to evade.

Which brings us to the inheritor of this tontine of tedium. It's Boogie's Makeup Princess, who wins the prize for her sheer obliviousness, and inability to understand that there are members of her sex who just don't care how much volume her new mascara has.

So off she goes to the bores table at the wedding, carefully tucked away in room 101, where she can tell all the other ladies at the table about how she's just become a consultant for some multi-level marketing makeup company, and would love to have them all come to one of her parties, where she'll show them this wonderful new way to apply bronzer.

[ 06. April 2017, 16:10: Message edited by: Leorning Cniht ]

Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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Phew - rid of her at last!

Next subject food.

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Garden. Room. Walk

Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688

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Clean eating. Pseudo-scientific nonsense, designed to induce guilt and persuade people to eschew all the foodstuffs (wheat, eggs, meat, dairy, potatoes) that have been keeping civilisation alive for the last six millennia. My theory: religion is out of style so attractive middle class people on Instagram have taken up organic turnips as a means of cleansing the soul.
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Sipech
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# 16870

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I would like to nominate mayonnaise.

I like all the things that go into mayonnaise, but once you put them all together, the whole is far less than the sum of its parts. It looks pretty horrible, has an unappealing texture and when you add it to any food, it inevitably makes it worse.

It's foul-tasting, entirely unnecessary and should be banished for good.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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The "just add water and serve" fad that defined quick on-the-run meals of my youth has given way to "gourmet feasts delivered to your door in a box" -- all you have to do is read the easy-to-follow preparation instructions included, cook the resulting miracle, and serve. No consideration of the fact that the cost of just one of these modern day delights probably equals my entire weekly grocery budget.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Boogie

Boogie on down!
# 13538

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Mayonnaise is nectar and will not go near Room 101!

I agree, to an extent, about the ready prepared recipes - but I would buy them if I could afford them - it's the messing about which puts me off cooking!

Silly middle class fads (NOT true food intolerances) it is. In fact, the fads make it far worse for those who have genuine food needs.

In they all go!

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Garden. Room. Walk

Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688

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Yay! Clean eating must go!

Next: holidays.

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Rent my holiday home in the South of France

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Leaf
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# 14169

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Room 101 can receive the Labour Day holiday.

I am all for having a day to honour workers, and encourage observance of same. It's the timing of the Labour Day holiday - the first weekend of September - that fucks up everything.

Got a kid in school? Half the time school starts, unforgivably, on the Friday before the Labour Day weekend. Nobody likes this. You gear up everybody to get back into a routine which instantly falls apart and is somehow even harder to resume.

Got church programs you want to start in the fall? Ha! Not until sometime after Labour Day, because until then people are still at "the lake" (euphemism for cottage or cabin).

The worst of it is, there is absolutely no recognition of the ostensible reason for the holiday - no workers' parades, programs on workers' safety or rights, the history of the labour union movement. Nope, it's just a stupid-ass day stuck awkwardly at a time when things should be gearing up, not grinding down.

For the liturgically-minded: It's like having the Sharing of the Peace immediately after the Collect of the Day. [Devil]

Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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For holidays, I would like to nominate Bob from Stourbridge. I came across him (or rather, he found me) during my last holiday. He is a prime example of a holiday leech.

It's the random stranger who, solely because you happen to be from the same country and speak (pretty much) the same language, that you're going to be new best buddies.

I know they mean well, and in their eyes, they're trying to be friendly, but I go on holiday to be alone. I spend all my working days surrounded by people, so please allow me a few days of peace that only come round once every few years.

Yet Bob from Stourbridge, with your slightly right wing politics and your misogynistic jokes, you're never going to be friend, and my memories of the Swiss Alps will be forever tainted by your dirty laughter and the smell of your cigarettes.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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I nominate Going Home

It overshadows the latter half of the holiday. Once you know there are fewer days to go than you've already had; that you're more than half way through, you start thinking of work, and having to get up at stupid o'clock again to get the kids off to school, and not getting to the pub much again, and all the stuff you went on holiday to get away from.

It never seems it's been long enough.

And then when the day comes, you have an anxiety-fuelled commute wondering what they've found out about, I mean, what's happened or gone wrong in your absence. Then you get there and there's the reality of the pile of emails and phone messages and urgh [Disappointed] [Projectile]

So I wish to consign Getting Back from Holiday to Room 101

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688

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Labour day – nah. The solution is to move to a sensible country where it falls on May 1st. And generally you won’t find me griping about days off.

I get Karl’s point about coming home, but the only way to avoid it is never to go on holiday at all, which makes it a bit of a necessary evil.

Bob from Stourbridge, OTOH, has no redeeming features whatsoever. Sipech, your turn.

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Rent my holiday home in the South of France

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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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Thank you, La Vie en Rouge.

Our topic of collective griping shall be: family traditions.

What is that your family insists on doing, possibly that few others do, that really winds you up or is just still a mystery after all these years?

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

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kingsfold

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# 1726

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There are so many.....
How to choose between them!

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Sioni Sais
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# 5713

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Every year, usually some time in the summer, the family gets together and we decide that after last year's disaster we are going to have beef for Christmas dinner. Everyone likes it, hot or cold. Yes we say, we'll definitely have beef. Hooray I say to myself.

Come December however, Eldest Son and Younger Daughter make it clear that turkey is a Tradition and is therefore an immovable feast. Bugger, it's that same dry bird with a distinctly unpleasant taste again. TBH I'd rather eat corned beef than turkey.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Eldest Son and Younger Daughter make it clear that turkey is a Tradition and is therefore an immovable feast.

To which the response should be, "We're having prime rib. What restaurant will you be dining in instead?"

Trouble is, so many family traditions are endearing, not hellish.

Although my mother had a very eccentric aunt who had to be met at the train whenever she came to visit. And if we didn't bring an umbrella with us when we went to meet her, she didn't consider herself well and truly met, regardless of the actual weather that day. I guess that counts as a tradition worthy of Room 101.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Imaginary Friend

Real to you
# 186

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You know when family traditions that start off nice just go on a bit too long? I would say exchanging presents between grown-up family members is one of those. We totally have that in my family and I kinda wish it would stop. I end up buying my dad some socks that he doesn't want, or a scarf for my sister that she could really do without. Or someone gets me a pen that I have no use for.

It's wasteful, doesn't really communicate the kind of affection that it's supposed to, and we really only do it because nobody has the guts to call time on the whole thing. So I think it's a perfect candidate for Room 101.

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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough

Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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OK, so we have our 3 contenders:

1) Turkey for Christmas dinner
2) The fastidious aunt
3) Adult family Christmas presents

Everyone always talks about abandoning turkey but the one year we did it, everyone was a little wistful. It's almost as though it's meant to be a little disappointing.

Eccentric family members can add a little colour to a family gathering, though unreasonable behaviour can quickly descend into resentment.

Exchanging presents certainly shifts emphasis, as one aims to please another rather than look at what you've received. Though it seems that a lack of imagination is what results in socks, more than the ongoing tradition.

All in all, I think Miss Amanda's pernickety great aunt gets sent to Room 101. Others can, and do, put themselves out for you, so you should show a bit more gratitude.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
OK, so we have our 3 contenders:

1) Turkey for Christmas dinner
2) The fastidious aunt
3) Adult family Christmas presents

Everyone always talks about abandoning turkey but the one year we did it, everyone was a little wistful. It's almost as though it's meant to be a little disappointing.

Eccentric family members can add a little colour to a family gathering, though unreasonable behaviour can quickly descend into resentment.

Exchanging presents certainly shifts emphasis, as one aims to please another rather than look at what you've received. Though it seems that a lack of imagination is what results in socks, more than the ongoing tradition.

All in all, I think Miss Amanda's pernickety great aunt gets sent to Room 101. Others can, and do, put themselves out for you, so you should show a bit more gratitude.

I mis-read that and thought you'd nominated Miss Amanda for Room 101 [Eek!] [Help]

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged



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