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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 1: Mary has a visitor
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Right - union rules* state I should not hanging around for more than an hour and that hour has over run.
Picks up wand and musical instruments
I'll be back tomorrow but in the meantime I'm heading to TV centre to see a man about a rather large role tomorrow and would appreciate an early night.
* National Union of Film Fairies (NUFF)
Fairy Nuff ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fourth Angel
Nativity Play
# 3647
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Posted
Babies? Already? I thought we were waiting for the appearance of O'Keefe the Parrot as the Holy Spirit to do the.. um.. dove thing?
*grabs some of the chocolate and starts munching*.
Ooops! I've got chocolate stains all down my nice white nightie now! ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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From the goddess Inanna to the fourth angel from the left.
Posts: 62 | From: The Realms of Glory | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stable Cat
Nativity Play
# 3657
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Posted
8the cat, disgusted by mary's last outburst (after all, she was only trying to help the music) stalks off to go sleep on a pile of costumes backstage*
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nicolemrw says "meow!"
Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
...Lots of frosty lagers for the thirsty throng .... (They smile angelically and rise slowly and unsteadily towards the proscenium arch on hidden wires. Angel 3 almost gets stuck halfway but is finally dragged off by the stage crew. Will they get an encore?)
Of COURSE they get an encore.
First, however, they ship off the cat to the vet.
Then they perform, by popular demand, a rather ribald version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." To tumultuous cheers, they each grab a couple of pints of frosty lager and retire to the wings to look for further scene-stealing opportunities -- there's only so much sheep-antics one can take.
![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) The few, the proud, the angelic...
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 6:
First, however, they ship off the cat to the vet.
Thank you, Oh Master Playwright in the Sky!
Now, where has that Brandylady gotten off to? I could use a sip! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Deputy Chief Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3698
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Posted
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
Not doing that again!
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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.
Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
*rushes to Deputy Chief Shepherd with a bucket*
Rats! Too late!
Where is my cleanup crew? ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
Now, where has that Brandylady gotten off to? I could use a sip!
Well, couldn't we all -- but here, have one of our frosty lagers. (One of our corporate sponsors is Sam Adams, so it's good stuff, too.)
(gives a delicate, angelic belch)
[Fixed quote italics]
[ 09. December 2002, 23:02: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 2
Nativity Play
# 3714
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Posted
[ Sheep 2 peeks between the curtains, wrinkles her nose at the mess, and hastily retreats upon recieving the Musical Director's glare. ]
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Woozle
Long live the sheep!!
Posts: 36 | From: The Field | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
I've noticed that there are several members of the case imbibing ... and that the horn section have things stuck in the ends of their instruments that are definitely not mutes, even though they are the right shape...
What is going on here?
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 wanders onto the stage, stares at the audience.]
*sheep plop*
*sheep plop*
Baaaaaa.
[Exit stage right]
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Back in a tavern in Bethlehem
Hi, dragon me mate, I've got a few in
Much needed I reckon, after where you've bin
Cavorting with angels can build up a thirst
But it's worse for that Mary - she's got to give birth!
So sit yourself down 'ere
With a nice pint of ale
It's a wonderful tavern
For suppin' and tales!
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
There is a fine tradition of Biblical imbibing. Don't worry -- we're angels; we're not affected.
And the orchestra is used to playing while soused.
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
Well make sure there is some Opening Night Ale left for the US as Oz shipmates when they arrive...
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Passer-by 3
Nativity Play
# 3711
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Posted
[Enters stage left, exits stage right]
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(W)
Posts: 30 | From: The Wings | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
I'll have a glass of appletize please, while I'm waiting... and another bar of chocolate, seeing as I'm eating for three (allegedly)
A brightly coloured parrot, with one or two white feathers glued on in strategic places, swoops down from the lights and tries to land on Mary's head. She waves her arms frantically!
Aaaaaaaaghhhhhhh...gerrroffff!
Bloomin' bird, taking liberties.
Where's that cat when you need her?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
*After cleaning up sheep plop x 3, Deputy Chief Shepherds' left behind , washing her hands with alcohol prep pads from First-aider's Crash Cart, and handing Virgin Mary more chocolate and a glass of appletize* -
announces to Director - I'm taking my dinner break now, be back in an hour.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 2
Nativity Play
# 3714
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Posted
[ Sheep 2, getting really bored backstages, ambles over and butts the sleeping cat. ]
Baaaa.
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Woozle
Long live the sheep!!
Posts: 36 | From: The Field | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wardrobe
Nativity Play
# 3675
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 2:
[ Sheep 2 suddenly stops staring at the audience and ambles over to Mary, nibbling on her robe.
Baaaa.
Listen, future seat cover. You mess with anyone's costume and you become a costume. Get it? ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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Eanswyth, the Queen of Costume
Posts: 21 | From: Spare room in the Professor's house | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wardrobe
Nativity Play
# 3675
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stable Cat:
8the cat, disgusted by mary's last outburst (after all, she was only trying to help the music) stalks off to go sleep on a pile of costumes backstage*
Who left their costumes in a pile? If you can't take care of your things they will be taken away. God invented hangers for a reason, you little snots.
And cat, if you shed on the clothes, I'll have you looking like Mr. Bigglesworth by morning.
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Eanswyth, the Queen of Costume
Posts: 21 | From: Spare room in the Professor's house | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 2
Nativity Play
# 3714
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Posted
Sheep 2 glares witheringly at Wardrobe and mutters in a growling, very unsheeply-like manner: Just try it.
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Woozle
Long live the sheep!!
Posts: 36 | From: The Field | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
[Light appears on corner of stage]
Princess Leia, nice lady.
[Stares into space]
She just appeared for tea with my mum this afternoon.
[Staring ...]
[Thoughts of Leia]
Told her about lots of exciting things that are going to happen - I didn't manage to catch most of them. Something about a saver - must have been from the Halifax or something. Nice woman. It'd be nice if nice people could call on everyone.
[Staring, star...]
Oh, was this light for someone else, sorry.
[Rushes off stage left] ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif)
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
Well make sure there is some Opening Night Ale left for the US as Oz shipmates when they arrive...
And the Angel (6) said unto them, "Fear not! For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy: the fridge is FULL of lager, ale and stout (and Diet Coke for the wimps), and the truck's coming by again tomorrow morning."
And suddenly there was with the Angel (6) a multitude of the Heavenly Host, praising God and saying, "All riiiiight! Who's got the bottle opener? Oh, are these twist-off caps? Glory to God in the highest!"
And it was good.
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
OK, glad to have sorted that out Angel 6. I'm taking a bottle and going to bed. In fact I'm taking several bottles and going to bed. The orchestra have worked out a rota, so there should never be any less than 4 musicians on the bandstand at any one time.
Although I use the word 'musician' in the loosest possible sense...
*wanders off muttering under his breath*
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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bee_of_good_cheer
Nativity Play
# 3672
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Posted
a meteor streaks out of the sky, trailing bits of sweet clover, rugosa rose petals and alfalfa. as it nears, it appears to be a cerulean and gold 1971 harley davidson 'lectraglide driven a wild-haired apparition in baby blue leather. the heavenly scooter roars over the heads of shepherds on yonder hill, circles round the stage twice and parks by the tea cart,revving the engine and leaving a small pool of oil.
pulls manure shovel out of left saddle bag. unloads sheep treats from right saddle bag.
whispers to shepherd and stage manager:
"be of good cheer. i bring equipment to tidy the stage and comfort the sheep"
goes to work, humming 'born to be mild'....
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how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? (ponders zephirine of the roses)
Posts: 39 | From: earth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Hmmmm.... excuse me... I know this is my scene and all that, but could you lot just sort of carry on without me for a bit.
I have been practising my lines all day, after a very stressful dress rehearsal last night, and I didn't sleep too well. I'm just popping into the dressing room for an hour or two for a snooze... and I'll take the parrot with me. If I'm not back in twenty hours, send a search party. ![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
"Yo! Yo! Yo!"
<flicks cigar ash and raises his sunglasses>
"Where's dis Jesus, king o da Jews, we bin hearing all dis ruckus about? We bin followin' dis cat's star from afar, an' lemme tell ya, dat camel saddle ain't no innerspring mattress, capisce?"
<scratches his behind>
"I mean, King Herod gonna get his panties in a major wad if dis Jesus muscles in on his King gig. I mean, dis Jesus cat gonna be in it up to his little baby patootie if Herod's wise guys take Him on a little ride, see?"
"Anyway, we brung da little guy some stuff, its-- what da hell goin' on here? What's dat cat doing? What's wit' dat sheep?"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3, having finished chewing her cud, ambles over to the Wise Guy and stares.]
Baaaaaaa.
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 gets distracted and wanders off the stage and into the audience]
Baaaaaa.
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman strides on stage waving a scroll
"Alright, listen up you horrible lot. There's gonna be..."
Breaks off to listen to Director's hurried whisper from the wings.
"Whaddya mean I'm in the wrong scene? Didn't I read the script? What script? Stupid writer's over there somewhere drunk - has been for the last month. Oh, Herod doesn't send me til later. Alright then."
"People, listen up. I'll be back later. Carry on with your miserable lives."
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Jedi Knight sits on a hay bale and tosses her lightsaber handle in the air and catches it....2539 times without missing.
*scratch, scratch* This beard is sure itchy. Glad I'm not a guy IRL.
Here kitty kitty.
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Oops! Sorry! I thought that since Evil Henchman was here, I was supposed to be, too!
Exit, stage right...
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Techie1
Nativity Play
# 3688
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Posted
<stage whisper> What do you mean can I hook up the PA to a cell phone??? Now??? He's calling from where???
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seeing lights? hearing voices? i can help with that...mysticlisa
Posts: 18 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 wanders across the empty stage, nibbling at scenery.]
Baaaaaaa.
[Exits stage left. Settles down next to a pile of costumes where Stable Cat is sleeping. Chews cud for a bit. Falls asleep.]
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
What the he...? What is this? Oh, her bladder!
*kick*
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Lowly Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3693
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Posted
Looks like I got here just in time. Right where's this baby. I need to measure him up for a nice matinee jacket.
I am am a Lowly Shepherd
I knit things all day long
And when the sheep give me their wool (Baa )
I sing a happy song
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aka Busyknitter
Posts: 7 | From: On a lonely hillside | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 2
Nativity Play
# 3710
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Posted
Enter Angel 2 stage left
"So where is everyone else? All I can hear are the snores of assorted people and animals. I'm here and ready to start."
Whispering from the wings
"What do you mean they started without me? and there's been some singing."
Smiles at audience, take a big breath to swell her not inconsiderable chest and breaks into "The Holy City" (offkey) then waits in vain for the rapturous applause.
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From an extinct bird to a live Angel - AKA Huia
Posts: 14 | From: NZ | Registered: Dec 2002
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Gabriel
Apprentice
# 827
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Posted
I'm Here - I'm here at last! Now, do you still want me to do my "fear nor" speech or am I way too late?
Posts: 42 | From: UK MIdlands | Registered: Jul 2001
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Spare Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3690
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Posted
Noting that the sheep seem to be in mad disarray, the Spare Shepherd calls them over to a spot back stage for a bite to eat - vegemite sandwiches... and they can listen to her sing that great Australian folk song... "Waltzing Matilda"- about a bad man who steals, kills, cooks, and then eats a she...er...er... an animal... ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
[They do spelling lessons backstage as well I've heard...]
[ 10. December 2002, 07:54: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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The last time I checked I was Rowen- really!
Posts: 68 | From: A sheeply village near Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gabriel:
I'm Here - I'm here at last! Now, do you still want me to do my "fear nor" speech or am I way too late?
I don't know Gabriel - wot are you like? The Fairy Godmother appeared and defended our rights as Members of Equity (and the Angels Union). Angel 4 sang a song, and Angel 6 sang a solo, then Angel 6 and humble self sang a duet, then we sang an encore and ribald "12 Days of Christmas", then we handed out lots of beer and then Angel 2 sang a song despite the space time continuum....
O lay it on us, Boss Angel. Except Mary's gone to bed with a headache and taken the parrot....
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
Look, Gabriel, the guys in the Orchestra have worked really hard to learn a Holy and Regal Fanfare just for you. But so far we've been limited to comedy versions of Christmas carols. If we play the tune, can you just say the line please? We'll edit it together in the cutting room later ... oh, this is live ... er ... take it away guys!
*several half-asleep or half-drunk horn players perform a fanfare that sounds like the Arrival of the Queen of Shambles*
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Assorted Strings
Nativity Play
# 3652
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Posted
Sorry all,
I got unavoidably detained without access.
Isn't it about time we had some more music. And what's "Onward Christian Soldiers" got to do with it? How about " A Virgin most pure"? That sounds as though it's about where we are.
Ah yes, best get instruments out... How about an A, someone?
< sounds of violin being tuned, then assorted strangled plinks as the mandolin is also tuned>
AH, that's better. Introdcution anyone?
[smug smile - bet you didn't spot that one]
[ 10. December 2002, 09:50: Message edited by: Director ]
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kingsfold's alter ego....
fiddling, plucking and strumming
Posts: 53 | From: the orchestra pit | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 2
Nativity Play
# 3710
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gabriel:
I'm Here - I'm here at last! Now, do you still want me to do my "fear nor" speech or am I way too late?
I say "Go for it Gabe", you could alwys wake up Mary and that strange bird.
Or I could sing another song.
Cries of "No, no, anything but that!" are heard fom the audience.
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From an extinct bird to a live Angel - AKA Huia
Posts: 14 | From: NZ | Registered: Dec 2002
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Camel driver
Nativity Play
# 3655
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Posted
Just to point out that I have a small herd of camels here, ready to go as soon as that star appears.
The fact that we're about nine months early just shows the amount of planning that's gone into this trip ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Rhisiart: camel driving for the new millennium
Posts: 11 | From: Ali's Used Camels, 2nd tent, Baghdad High St | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Camel driver:
Just to point out that I have a small herd of camels here, ready to go as soon as that star appears.
The fact that we're about nine months early just shows the amount of planning that's gone into this trip
<Which remark is met by a frosty glare from the Director, who is standing in the wings surrounded by several tons worth of black bin bags full of you-know-what.>
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
The Virgin Mary slips back onto the stage, dressed in blue nightie (down to the ankles, of course), blue fluffy dressing gown, blue slippers and with a parrot (dressed in white) sitting on her head
*ahem*
waits for silence
waits a bit longer for silence
gives up and starts anyway
His humble handmaiden is grinning with glee,
There's no other woman as blessed as me.
The whole world will wonder my pureness and piety.
(I'm the only one here to show signs of sobriety!)
His strong arm will guide me and brighten the gloom,
For blessed am I and the fruit of the loom.
(Ooops, sorry, meant to say "Fruit of my Womb")
His name will be Jesus, I couldn't be gladder!
Despite his twin sister who's just kicked my bladder
er... ....excuse me a minute!
rushes offstage
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
returns, looking much relieved
God's singled me out 'cos I'm virgin and pure
and pretty and gentle and modest, what's more.
I'll sing and I'll dance and I'll turn cartwheels too.
But not now as I'm off to get changed for scene 2
Curtseys and runs back offstage, leaving a rather perplexed looking parrot behind her
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Miss Ship of Fools 2002
Nativity Play
# 3718
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Posted
Do you want to just pop into this woolley jumper dear? I just saw you singing and dancing around in your nighty and i'm worried that you might catch a bit of a chill. It's not even flannelling, but a one of those polyesters if I'm not mistaken... and even if you've got some fluffy slippers on, it's hardly outdoor wear.
This is one of Geoff's jumpers, I knitted it for him a few Christmases ago but i'm sure he won't mind you slipping into it. The moss green and brown stripes go quite well with the blue. (I had to learn all this colour co-ordination business for the padgent you know!) We can't have you coming down with a cold when you've got such an exciting time ahead! Better take a lemsip for good measure.
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clare, in my pre-glory days
Posts: 7 | From: just popping in | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tour Manager
Nativity Play
# 3670
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Posted
(making a brief appearance from within the Magic Tour Bus holding a phone in one hand and a bedgraggled bird in the other)
(Stage Whisper)Madam Director? I've got Gabriel on line one and some kind of parrot-dove-carrier pigeon here to send another message to Mary. There seems to be some trouble with incompatible transatlantic mobile phone standards. I could always try tying a message to one of the sheep otherwise. Please, direct, us!
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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)
Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Tour Manager:
(making a brief appearance from within the Magic Tour Bus holding a phone in one hand and a bedgraggled bird in the other)
(Stage Whisper)Madam Director? I've got Gabriel on line one and some kind of parrot-dove-carrier pigeon here to send another message to Mary. There seems to be some trouble with incompatible transatlantic mobile phone standards. I could always try tying a message to one of the sheep otherwise. Please, direct, us!
Groan!
We'd best go for the sheep option.
Pooper-scooper! Get yourself down here, now!!
< Wanders off to where Tealady is waiting with another medicinal brandy>
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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