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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 1: Mary has a visitor
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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Hang on, I'm getting a wire from Gabriel now ... I'll read it out.

MARY PREGGERS STOP HOLY SPIRIT DID IT STOP SORRY CANT MAKE IT TILL LATER - BUSY HAVE TO STOP

Does that make sense to anyone?

*I think now is the time for the 'X Files' theme, seeing as no-one has a clue what is going on...*

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
angel 5

Nativity Play
# 3696

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wanders around asking everyone she can see what's going on...

--------------------
and all the angels sang for him, the bells of heaven rang for him
for a boy was born, king of all the world
----
sophs

Posts: 38 | From: in a cattle shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Assorted Strings

Nativity Play
# 3652

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quote:
poste by the Musical Director:
*I think now is the time for the 'X Files' theme, seeing as no-one has a clue what is going on...*

Erm, I don't seem to have the music for that one. I can do the Jonathan Creek theme tune if that'll help (it's kind of spooky). Can't remember what it's really called... oh yes, Danse Macabre by Sans Saens.

Or I could just stick with the usual ne-ne-ne-er ne-ne-ne-er spooky coincidence tune - you know the one?

--------------------
kingsfold's alter ego....

fiddling, plucking and strumming

Posts: 53 | From: the orchestra pit | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fourth Angel

Nativity Play
# 3647

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Psssst! Angel 5! Over here!

Can't see much of what's going on either. D'you think they could get those flying harnesses sorted out? Or are they saving them for the big birth scene?

What I did hear was something about twins. And we've only got one name. They can't both be called Jesus.... Besides, I think one of them's a girl.

flicks through the Old Testament

Oh hang on! Here we go. It says in Isaiah that the virgin shall give birth and call him Emmanuelle. That'll do nicely for her, don't you think? And it'll fulfill the prophecy too... always handy in biblical drama.

Now, who should we suggest it to....?

--------------------
From the goddess Inanna to the fourth angel from the left.

Posts: 62 | From: The Realms of Glory | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
angel 5

Nativity Play
# 3696

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starts to climb up the scenery to get to the flying harnesses...

--------------------
and all the angels sang for him, the bells of heaven rang for him
for a boy was born, king of all the world
----
sophs

Posts: 38 | From: in a cattle shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
angel 5

Nativity Play
# 3696

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in the absence of anyone trying to stop her, angel 5 climbs into a harness and starts swinging accross the stage, trying to grab hold of the lights, whilst singing "most hightly flavored gravy, bisto..."....having grabbed onto the lights she says to the stunned audience and cast:

Fear Not!

--------------------
and all the angels sang for him, the bells of heaven rang for him
for a boy was born, king of all the world
----
sophs

Posts: 38 | From: in a cattle shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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Angel 5! Come down here at once! It may be alright for you to fear not, after all it's you who is wearing the harness. But what if you land on a timpani? Or even worse a timpanist?

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 runs across the stage, pursued by the Director, who is trying to attach a message to the sheep]

Baaaaaaaa.
Baaaaaaa.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
bee_of_good_cheer

Nativity Play
# 3672

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quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by Camel driver:
Just to point out that I have a small herd of camels here, ready to go as soon as that star appears.

The fact that we're about nine months early just shows the amount of planning that's gone into this trip [Smile]

<Which remark is met by a frosty glare from the Director, who is standing in the wings surrounded by several tons worth of black bin bags full of you-know-what.>
wups... sorry!

~ puts down large mocha latte. attaches farm wagon to trailer hitch, hops on harley, pushes the thumb-kicker and roars backstage. lifts black bags of sheep leavings with one hand and tosses em into wagon. winks a thanks & roars off to deposit into compost heap in the garden of eden. ~

--------------------
how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? (ponders zephirine of the roses)

Posts: 39 | From: earth | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Director:
We'd best go for the sheep option.

Pooper-scooper! Get yourself down here, now!!

*I suppose that's me, since no stage hands have yet to be seen in this theatre. [Frown] ...readies pooper scooper for inevitable sheep incontinence....*

I only have one layette set for Virgin Mary's baby Jesus...and they are saying the second one is to be a girl.. [Confused]

Director, I have to go shopping for some pink booties and stuff. The sooner the better - the way this play is unfolding, I don't dare wait til Scene 8!


--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Camel driver

Nativity Play
# 3655

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quote:
Just to point out that I have a small herd of camels here, ready to go as soon as that star appears.

The fact that we're about nine months early just shows the amount of planning that's gone into this trip [Smile]


<Which remark is met by a frosty glare from the Director, who is standing in the wings surrounded by several tons worth of black bin bags full of you-know-what.>

wups... sorry!

~ puts down large mocha latte. attaches farm wagon to trailer hitch, hops on harley, pushes the thumb-kicker and roars backstage. lifts black bags of sheep leavings with one hand and tosses em into wagon. winks a thanks & roars off to deposit into compost heap in the garden of eden. ~

[Shouts] And don't forget my commission, either!

[clears throat]


Now, if anyone would like to have a camel ride in the meantime - great fun for the kiddies, honestly - just wander outside where my assistant will be happy to relieve you of your money with menaces... sorry, with promises of hours of fun (minutes, anyway)

We'll have to be back for Scene 3, but plenty of time to be taken for a ride... sorry, to go for a ride

[Look, I don't get Equity rates for this, I've got to support my wife and family somehow. What's wrong with a little private enterprise?]

--------------------
Rhisiart: camel driving for the new millennium

Posts: 11 | From: Ali's Used Camels, 2nd tent, Baghdad High St | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 eludes the Director by climbing into the Tour Bus.]

Ba.

*sheep plop*
*sheep plop*
*sheep plop*

[Sheep 3 begins nosing around the Tour Bus, looking for something to eat, nibbling on various costumes and personal items left scattered around.]

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
bee_of_good_cheer

Nativity Play
# 3672

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~ employs little gold manure shovel, deposits plops in wagon and grabs alfalfa brownies from saddle bag. ~

hey sheepie

here's treats!

--------------------
how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? (ponders zephirine of the roses)

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Lowly Stage Hand

Nativity Play
# 3648

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having totally failed to make it to the performance so far [Embarrassed] , the lowly stage hand desperately tries to make amends by collecting the pooper-scooper from the chief stage manager, and trying to surrepticiously clear up the sheep's mess without the audience noticing.

Standing by ready for any further little 'oopses'


--------------------
the lowly stage hand known as flev

Posts: 4 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<a scream of despair is heard off-stage>

Oh, for *&%*$'s sake!

There are sheep in my dressing room!

WHY are there sheep in my dressing room?

Where in God's sweet name is the director?

DIRECTOR!!! GET IN HERE NOW!!!

(This'd never have happened when I was in RADA)

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Intrigued by the bee with the grassy-smelling [Paranoid] brownies, Sheep 3 is following bee_of_good_cheer off of the Tour Bus, when sudden screaming from one of the dressing rooms cause Sheep 3 to bolt.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Assorted Strings

Nativity Play
# 3652

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Herod,

Isn't it about time we had a break for, well, food? Maybe you could, y'know, kinda catch and cook one of those sheep.... [Devil]

Well, you did said they were penned in your dressing room. I mean, they're captive, aren't they?

--------------------
kingsfold's alter ego....

fiddling, plucking and strumming

Posts: 53 | From: the orchestra pit | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 leaps off the stage into the orchestra pit, scrambles out the other side and runs into the audience.]

Baaaaaa.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tealady

Nativity Play
# 3713

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Right dearies, just a couple of things I wanted to point out.

1. I have confiscated all the lager, stout and other alcoholic beverages from the green room, where they were being sold without my permission. With the profits from the sales of 'medicinal coffee' I have now set up a bistrot in the Green Room, called Cafe Vert. Unless the director stops me, I'm going to be serving alcohol as well as coffee - look at it this way, bossman, at least they're still in the building... I will also still be bringing the tea trolley round. Any complaints and I'll be having a quiet word with The Evil Henchman, catch my drift?

2. If you need anything from Cafe Vert and I don't appear to be here, my lovely assistants Sven and Samantha will serve you. They're very efficient, but not very talkative, as most of the Brits here will know.

3. Lamb burgers 2.50, Lamb chops and mash 4.50, sausages (lamb) onna stick 1.50, mutton stew 2.50. The camel driver may be interested in sheep's eyeballs, 50p each. Don't ask no questions, alright?

--------------------
The tealady's coffee-grinder is a Spong...

Posts: 20 | From: Tea trolley | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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Tealady, in preparation for tonights new Scene, may I purchase 'all the lager, stout and other alcoholic beverages' you have. Just send the bill to the Director, OK?

And is it true, o purveyor of the finest comestibles, that you are negotiating to open a drive-thru McDonalds for when the travelling cast members arrive? May I suggest that in the drive-thru lane we install a sheep-dip. Some of those animals are beginning to smell fruity...

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Evil Henchman knocks respectfully on Herod's door.

"Hey Mister Bossman, you want me to remove that sheep? Sure thing. I think the tealady'll do you a nice swap, sheep for more alcohol? Yes sir."

Evil Henchman herds stray sheep out of Herod's dressing room, and down the corridor in the direction of the Bistrot.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
in the direction of the Bistrot

I take it a Bistrot is where they serve hooved animals, rather than a Bistro where they serve humans? [Roll Eyes]

But onto more important matters! We need shepherds, and quick! For I am going to make a shepherds pie ... er, I mean ... we need them backstage ready for the next scene (only 4 hours to go!)

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
angel 5

Nativity Play
# 3696

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help i'm stuck........

heeeeellllppppppppp [Waterworks] [Waterworks]

i wanna get down....but i cant....waaaaahhhhhh

--------------------
and all the angels sang for him, the bells of heaven rang for him
for a boy was born, king of all the world
----
sophs

Posts: 38 | From: in a cattle shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Director

Nativity Play
# 3664

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
<a scream of despair is heard off-stage>

Oh, for *&%*$'s sake!

There are sheep in my dressing room!

WHY are there sheep in my dressing room?

Where in God's sweet name is the director?

DIRECTOR!!! GET IN HERE NOW!!!

(This'd never have happened when I was in RADA)

Excuse ME!

I shall pretend I didn't hear that!

You are being a Mr Grumpy face, aren't you? [Big Grin] A few sheep never hurt anyone.

Now, if you can be a good boy for the rest of the scene...

--------------------
Miffy

Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stable Cat

Nativity Play
# 3657

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*the stable cat stretches luxeriously. it was a nice long snooze. now its time for food*

prrrrrrt? mrrrrt?

--------------------
nicolemrw says "meow!"

Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
bee_of_good_cheer

Nativity Play
# 3672

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quote:
Originally posted by angel 5:
help i'm stuck........

heeeeellllppppppppp [Waterworks] [Waterworks]

i wanna get down....but i cant....waaaaahhhhhh

~ unhitches farm wagon, jumps on harley, revs engine loudly and speeds to the starry expanse. (POW ! backfiring a little... sorry! [Embarrassed] ) ~

hey now, young angel. hop on the back and we'll have you down to earth in no time. mind the pipes.. they're awfully hot.

~ tucks wild hair into back of jacket to preserve angel 5 from a face-whipping. ~

hang on, angelgirl. we're off!

--------------------
how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? (ponders zephirine of the roses)

Posts: 39 | From: earth | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
angel 5

Nativity Play
# 3696

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angel 5, who is now safely back on earth, avoides both directors and the chief angel...

angel 5 runs to hide in a dressing room

--------------------
and all the angels sang for him, the bells of heaven rang for him
for a boy was born, king of all the world
----
sophs

Posts: 38 | From: in a cattle shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jesus' evil twin

Nativity Play
# 3702

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
I only have one layette set for Virgin Mary's baby Jesus...and they are saying the second one is to be a girl.. [Confused]

Director, I have to go shopping for some pink booties and stuff. The sooner the better - the way this play is unfolding, I don't dare wait til Scene 8!

Better rethink that pink, bucko, or you're in for it once I get out of here.

--------------------
Erin (of course)

Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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quote:
Originally posted by Tealady:
Lamb burgers 2.50, Lamb chops and mash 4.50, sausages (lamb) onna stick 1.50, mutton stew 2.50. The camel driver may be interested in sheep's eyeballs, 50p each. Don't ask no questions, alright?

[Eek!] I might have to have a little talk with my friends in PETA about this!

--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tealady

Nativity Play
# 3713

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quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
Tealady, in preparation for tonights new Scene, may I purchase 'all the lager, stout and other alcoholic beverages' you have. Just send the bill to the Director, OK?

Right, you've got everything I nick.. confiscated from Angel 6's fridge. Watch out, 'cos she'll probably be trying to get it back again... In the meantime I've intercepted the second lorryload she ordered for the Cafe Vert.

quote:
And is it true, o purveyor of the finest comestibles, that you are negotiating to open a drive-thru McDonalds for when the travelling cast members arrive? May I suggest that in the drive-thru lane we install a sheep-dip. Some of those animals are beginning to smell fruity...
You wouldn't BELIEVE the plans I'm laying... Yep, we'll have a drive-thru lane. I suggest that we have both a sheep dip AND a camel dip. With a bit of luck, a few of the sheep will go through the wrong one, which should be funny as they find out how deep it is.
quote:
I take it a Bistrot is where they serve hooved animals, rather than a Bistro where they serve humans?
Nah, it's cos I speak foreign proper, see? That wisecrack's cost you another pony on the bill for the booze... That or another sheep for the freezer.

--------------------
The tealady's coffee-grinder is a Spong...

Posts: 20 | From: Tea trolley | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by angel 5:
angel 5 runs to hide in a dressing room

Ahem.

This is my dressing room.

I didn't have the sheep removed just to make space for angels y'know.

Out!

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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Herod, you may be a sadistic evil child-killer, but manners never cost anyone anything. Honestly. Tuh.

How would you like it if I switched the music when you came on from the 'evil scary film music bwahahahaha!!!' that you requested, to 'Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf'? Hmmm?

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Enter the dragon

Just wanted to say that tonight I'll be late.
I'm away from the Boards at your start time of eight -
and then, around ten, I can rejoin the troupe,
but until that time I'm at fellowship group...

Exit the dragon

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Better rethink that pink, bucko, or you're in for it once I get out of here.

I catch your drift. No problem. Oh, Wardrobe Mistress....can you die this lot of infant clothing a nice shade of purple, maroon or lavender for the girl twinette?

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lowliest Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3650

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Well as there are no other shepherds around I think I'd better save the show and round up all these sheep.

"Come on Sheep let's await your big scene with the shepherds"

--------------------
Rob Miller - Ship's TULIP

Posts: 15 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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erm...... am I on yet? is it not time for scene two yet?

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wardrobe

Nativity Play
# 3675

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
I catch your drift. No problem. Oh, Wardrobe Mistress....can you die this lot of infant clothing a nice shade of purple, maroon or lavender for the girl twinette?

Dark purple with black lace sounds good. Goth baby togs.

--------------------
Eanswyth, the Queen of Costume

Posts: 21 | From: Spare room in the Professor's house | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Gift of Gold

Nativity Play
# 3668

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Note to director(s)

I'm afraid that tonights performance will be lacking something, as the gift will be unavalable due to Belly Dancing practice. I hope you will cope without me, don't know how, but I'm sure you'll get through.. [Wink]

Yours
Goldie (locks*)
*optional

--------------------
the gold bar/ dancer formally known as Annie P.

Posts: 36 | From: fort nox | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Wardrobe:
Dark purple with black lace sounds good. Goth baby togs.

That should be perfect!

[Wink] [Not worthy!]

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Assorted Strings

Nativity Play
# 3652

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Well, toodle-oo all for the night. See oyu tomorrow!

Any chance of a music list, so I know what to practise? (Practise? Me? [Killing me] )

--------------------
kingsfold's alter ego....

fiddling, plucking and strumming

Posts: 53 | From: the orchestra pit | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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quote:
Originally posted by Assorted Strings:
Any chance of a music list, so I know what to practise? (Practise? Me? [Killing me] )

List? From me? [Killing me]

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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 returns to the stage via the orchestra pit, knocking over some music stands and accidently stepping on a violin]

Baaaaaa.

[She then disappears backstage, still searching for Lowliest Shepherd.]

Baaa. Baaaaa.

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jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Director

Nativity Play
# 3664

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Ladies, gentlemen and assorted hangers on... <glares at stray sheep>

We will now be having a short break. Drinks available in the bar, no shoving please.

Kindly refrain from making annoying slurping noises with your kia-ora, and may I remind you that popcorn fighting is a bannable offence. [Disappointed]

The next scene will commence in approximately twenty minutes.

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Miffy

Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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