Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 6: On the road to Bethlehem
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
Lickel Donkey
So Mary and Joseph have set off on their way. But where is Joseph? And why is Mary riding on a donkey? We will find out, I'm sure...
-------------------- ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
A donkey plods the road to Bethlehem Upon its back, a maiden great with child Joseph sent ahead the pair of them Because his tax return soon must be filed
Through winter's depth they journey, weary, on For Mary it's a time when doubts might loom She thinks, "Is truly this God's only Son? And I do hope that Joseph's booked a room."
In Naz'reth Joseph wears a look forlorn His tax return he's busy filling in. An endless struggle with a complex form His only comfort slugs of Bombay gin.
The Christmas traffic's backed up nose to tail And, sod it all, it's coming on to rain. To register at home they must not fail, But getting there is one right regal pain
-------------------- Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Enter stage right a not-quite-as-serene-as-usual Mary, plus donkey and several suitcases. She is dressed in a rather fetching outfit in...er... blue.
Oh poor poor Joseph, stuck at home with all those forms to fill in. I think it was very kind of him to let me set off ahead with the donkey - he said he'd run and catch us up later. What a hero! [ 15. December 2002, 10:50: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 stands on the stage, chewing her cud, idly looking around.]
Baa.
[Her attention, such as it is, turns to the clip-clop of donkey hooves.]
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mind you, I must admit I thought he was kidding about the donkey.
Donkey?
I ask you?
In my condition? Travelling to Bethlehem on a donkey? And a ickle donkey at that!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
<Sotto voce>
"Hero" my foot. He knew what the traffic would be like. And it's even worse than usual.
Look, someone's left a caravan of camels parked right on the main road. It's holding up traffic for miles.
-------------------- Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Still, at least he's going to ring up and confirm the booking at the Plaza while he's home. Bless him... he's spending so much on me, I shouldn't grumble.
But this donkey, I ask you!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Oh look at that, would you believe it? Hold on donkey... it looks like we might be here some time!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
What you mean, this Donkey, I'll let you know I can 4 wheel drive anything on this planet!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Serenely clips the donkey round the ear'ole Hmmmm.... not only a donkey but a donkey with attitude!
Looks around for signs of assistance
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
You want a Caravan huh? Leather interior, or what? With the kid seat converter in the back? Dodge or Ford?
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
A donkey. A $^@! donkey. Yo, bro!
*pokes the boring, good twin*
You're, like, God and everything, right? You're omnipotent, snap those proto-fingers and get us there, now. Preferably somewhere with a soft bed and lots of room service.
Thanks muchly.
-------------------- Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Surely someone must be able to help!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
# Stereo turned up # Humming along #
I'm driving home for Christmas Oh, I can't wait to see those faces I'm driving home for Christmas, yea Well I'm moving down that line And it's been so long But I will be there I sing this song To pass the time away Driving in my car Driving home for...
Oh my God!
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Hay, watch those ears, that's a Lloyd's of London protected Asset!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary looks serenely round and sees a little pink Skoda approaching at high speed, driven by what looks like a handsome young man.... She smiles, whispers a silent "thank you" towards the sky
Oh look, my shoelace is coming undone. That will never do!
Lifts the hem of her blue dress a little higher... well, considerably higher.... to facilitate tying her lace, of course
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Removing her sunglasses, she notices that the Skoda is in fact silver, and the handsome young man not quite as tanned as she first imagined, but then beggars can't be choosers!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Ah, Mary, you know, Joe's at home, and I kind of said that I'd be like, watching out for ya, ya know? So just lower that hemline a bit, let me try, (jumps in front of car) STOP in the name of ....(doesn't know what to say) HAY!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
[Slams on breaks]
[Pulls alongside heavily pregnant lady at the roadside]
Em ... hello there, ... wait just one minute, I know your face from somewhere ...
... ah never mind - what does your problem appear to be?
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary scratches the donkey tenderly behind the ears
Hold on ickle fellow, there may be hope for us yet.
Well, good morning young man... yes, your face does look surprisingly familiar. Don't I know your mother??? Well, the thing is, this donkey and I have got to get to Bethlehem and as you may have noticed, I am heavily pregnant.... and we have rather a lot of luggage too. I wondered whether you might be able to...er... Glances at Skoda squeeze at least one of us in.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 2
Nativity Play
# 3710
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Posted
Angel 2 enters stage left.
Oh! But what a cute ickle donkey.
I just popped in to check on your progress. It's a bit slow isn't it, but then that camel jam ahead isn't helping, and Mary plus twins is quite a load.
-------------------- From an extinct bird to a live Angel - AKA Huia
Posts: 14 | From: NZ | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mutters under her breath.... Quite a load? huh!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Very versitile car this, I'm sure I could squeeze both of you in, just as long as the donkey doesnt mind bending it's legs a bit and lying on it's side, otherwise it'll have to walk.
Starts folding down back seats
Hope you've got your purse with you, I need to fill up somewhere.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
["HAY"? Sheep 3 sniffs the air and then heads for the Donkey in hopes of getting something to eat.]
Baaaaaaaaaaaa.
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(Speaks from the side of his mouth so driver can't see or hear) Psst!, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea, it's you, me or the luggage. Maybe he could take the luggage on ahead and we'll meet him there? Like a walking holiday kind of thing...
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 2
Nativity Play
# 3710
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Posted
Angel 2 Quite a beautiful load too. Such a becoming shade of blue.
-------------------- From an extinct bird to a live Angel - AKA Huia
Posts: 14 | From: NZ | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Come on then donkey, are you ready? In you get!
Money... hmmm.... Joseph gave me a little ready cash, just in case of emergencies... and I do happen to have his credit card here, just in case.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Hey - sheep, get away from my car ... I don't want dirty sheeps wool all over the interior
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
Unfortunately, while crossing the stage, Sheep 3 upsets the camels parked on the road, who proceed to mill around in confusion, thus completely blocking all lanes.
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 2
Nativity Play
# 3710
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Posted
Oh, Mary, should you really?
-------------------- From an extinct bird to a live Angel - AKA Huia
Posts: 14 | From: NZ | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Penny drops!
Leave the luggage? You must be joking!!!!!
Er, donkey.... how would you feel about walking? You could go with the angel
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tour Manager
Nativity Play
# 3670
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Posted
Vroooommmmmmrrrrwwwwww-BANG!-PHUT!-Vrom, Vrom, Chug, Vroooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
(The Tour Bus, laden with sheep and other assorted stable and unstable animals, and various gifts and gear that the Wise Men have not been able to fit on their Harleys, lurches past, going, inexplicably, in the opposite direction, dripping oil and leaving clouds of smoke in its wake. Sounds of snoring, interspersed with extracts from Mme Soleil's horoscope predictions for the Judea area, drift from the windows as it passes)
-------------------- Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)
Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Watch the ears, and ouch, my tail, and I have to hold my neck like this? (Begins to sing) On the road again, Can't wait to get on the road again makin' heaven with my friends and I can't wait to get on the road again....
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 ignores the naughty boy and continues trying to climb into the car and get at the hay.]
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
[Sheep 3 wonders why she is thinking nasty thoughts about something called "Flood Control"]
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Saunters backstage and looks across to the action*
Sheep!!!!
Right after yesterday it's revenge
Here sheepy sheepy - come to Fairy Godmother Where's those shepheards when you need them?
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Fear not oh maiden, we'll get everything in.
[Proceeds to pile luggage around the donkey]
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Right, that's the donkey in.... Hey donkey, you're a beast of burden... would you mind awfully carrying these suitcases on your lap? Thanks.
With a sweet, innocent smile at the young man, Mary slips into the front seat...well, sort of manoeuvres into the front seat... well, sort of wedges herself in sideways and shuffles a bit. Good job pregnant women don't have to wear a seatbelt!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 2
Nativity Play
# 3710
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Posted
Naughty boy - it's not the sheep's wool you need to be worried about.
-------------------- From an extinct bird to a live Angel - AKA Huia
Posts: 14 | From: NZ | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Hayyyyyyy! That one is heavy, must be Mary's, put it on top!! Mine can go with me, everything else, tie it on top...
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sheep 3: [Sheep 3 ignores the naughty boy and continues trying to climb into the car and get at the hay.]
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
[Sheep 3 wonders why she is thinking nasty thoughts about something called "Flood Control"]
*Runs on stage and grabs back legs of sheep*
Not so fast you four legged, poop dropping, woolly haired, cud chewing, bottom butter...
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
BAAAAAA.
[Sheep 3 kicks and struggles]
BAAAAAAAAAAAA
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
The sacrifices I go to!
[Ties one or two cases on the top and puts as much as the donkey can livingly bear in the boot]
@ Fairy Godmother
To the preggers woman Are you moving then?
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[...and of course that natural response to terror in nearly any animal is...]
*sheep plop* *pssssssssssssssss* *sheep plop* [ 15. December 2002, 10:55: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Anyone for some Tic-Tacs? I mean I wouldn't want to point at some two legged mammals here in the car, but one of you needs something, or at least roll down the windows..Pleeeeaaazze!!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
No, just going for a short winter break with my husband-to-be. He's booked us in at the Plaza in Bethlehem, 'cos we've got to go there to hand the census forms in, of course.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sheep 3: BAAAAAA.
[Sheep 3 kicks and struggles]
BAAAAAAAAAAAA
Got you - and there's no getting away this time *Suddenly finds herself thrown inside the car still clinging to a protesting sheep*
Ouch you brute
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
All this stuff is for a *short* winter break??? How many of them are you expecting?
[changes the CD, starts the engine, and the car pulls away]
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tour Manager
Nativity Play
# 3670
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sheep 3:
*pssssssssssssssss* *sheep plop*
[Well, I did warn you ... ]
-------------------- Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)
Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
# Turns Stereo up again #
On the first part of the journey I was looking at all the life There were plants and birds and rocks and things There was sand and hills and rings The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz And the sky with no clouds The heat was hot and the ground was dry But the air was full of sound
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain...
*Turns and shouts at passenger* so what's your name.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sheep 3: [...and of course that natural response to terror in nearly any animal is...]
*sheep plop* *pssssssssssssssss* *sheep plop*
Missed!!!!
*Notices rather large stain on BVM's lump* [ 15. December 2002, 10:56: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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