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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Dragon:
Herod is a massive Unpleasant Person
not into Influencing People and Making Friends

Hey! I resent that.

I am so into influencing people. Normally with the threat of severe pain, but it's the thought that counts.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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Rudolph's nose nose starts flickering, then goes out. Darn, battery's gone low again. Looks like I'll need a new bulb. Wanders down road. Sees a town ahead. Hmm, looks like some shops here, I'll see if I can find a red bulb here. Wanders into Harrod's.

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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Puts cat into harness - it is completely immobilised.

She reaches down for the small chainsaw hidden behind a chair, and revs it up. First she takes a long strip off the cat's back. Then she turns the tail fur into a series of spiky points. Turning off the chainsaw, she puts it down, and picks the razor up. Taking each leg in turn out of the harness, she shaves vertical stripes of fur from the leg, then replaces it into the harness. Pausing a moment, she considers her next move.


--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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When are my worshippers arriving, by the way?

You told me they were coming today.

<fingering sword>

You weren't lying to me, were you?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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uh, Understudy?

This is a stage direction for you. Please dress yourself in some tinsel and come shine!! Time's a-wasting!


--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Perhaps the star’s a rare conceit
The meaning of life you ache to find
Perhaps that’s why the Magi struggle to meet
Perhaps that’s why they’re all trailing behind

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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Evil henchman sends a slave boy to get some dollies clothes from Herod's toddler-age children. When slave boy returns, she dresses cat in a floral/paisley print dress, little white knitted booties, a pink woolly cardigan and fetching lime-green bonnet tied firmly under its chin. Cat is spitting, but cannot get the clothes off. Evil Henchman says:

Mr. Herod? I'm going to give the cat to your children to play with. They like playing dress up and dollies.

Evil Henchman exits stage right.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Mr. Herod? I'm going to give the cat to your children to play with. They like playing dress up and dollies.

Yes, they do.

Especially now that they're teething.

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Notice for all animal lovers re activities of SarkyHenchman

Please be advised that no animals were harmed in the making of this production


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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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*trudge*
*jingle, jingle*

[Sheep 3 stops and attempts to bite off one of the cerulean bows holding on a jingle bell]

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jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Having purchased some presents
Wonders where King Harrod is
we should enter his presence
and be about our wise men biz

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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I bet that Herod’s dodgy rule
Would have our politicians blenching
I bet he’s prone to leer and drool
I bet he’s into sordid wenching

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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Hey, is that someone knocking at the door of the Palace?

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jesus' evil twin

Nativity Play
# 3702

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quote:
Originally posted by Dragon:

Notice for all animal lovers re activities of SarkyHenchman

Please be advised that no animals were harmed in the making of this production

*voice from offstage*

THEY WILL BE!

--------------------
Erin (of course)

Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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So Wise man 2’s been organised
And done some timely Xmas shopping
To have one for “Harrod” would be well advised
When he hears of the infant king, he’ll be hopping

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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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I think it's probably time for a proper introduction.

Ahem:

Let me introduce myself, I'm Herod, King of the Jews.
(This is round about the time when the audience all boos,
But should you think of doing that, I can assure you, you'll all lose -
Don't think I'm joking, by the way, I have more than enough Thumb Screws.)

I'm mean, nasty and obtuse, and, in case you have forgotten,
I'm evil, an all-round bad egg - well and truly rotten.
But I think you'll find, beneath my kecks (100% cotton),
I have a very pert behind, the cutest little bottom.

I'm vain and rude (and good in bed). I am your original cad,
I know you love it, by the way, everyone loves a bit of bad.
Rich and powerful, that is me, isn't it so sad,
That the pure and good always lose out? Doesn't it make you mad?

You may applaud in adoration and worship now.

[Worship, but don't mention the spelling errors...]

[ 15. December 2002, 21:54: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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To see the king I have try-ed
But did not expect Al Fayed

(this rhyming's getting outrageous
do you think it is contagious?)

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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Walks out of Harrod's with nose freshly glowing, and with book "Self Defense against evil twins and henchmen". You never know when this might come in handy.

Spots tour bus. Hmmm, where's this going, Rudolph wonders to self. Enters tour bus and finds an empty seat, and goes to sleep.


--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Applauds wildly. Wolf whistles.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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So here’s old Herod swaggering on
With an attempt at Middle Eastern mystique
And when he has got all his blaggering done
At least we can admire his physique

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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*trudge, jingle....*

[Sheep 3 is very tired, and settles down for a nap]

Baaaa

*jingle*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Star in the East

Nativity Play
# 3751

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*glows serenely, despite the mean theater critic who needs a good smack upside the head*

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Erin, standing in for Lyra

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Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Oh, it was Harrod but Herod we were to see
But where can that meeting be?
I would like to see another wise man or two
There's only so much shopping one bloke can do!

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 1

Nativity Play
# 3671

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Wanders in, wondering if the sound of jingling bells heralds food

Baaaa

Nestles up against Sheep 3, and starts nibbling her plaits

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Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)

Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Lo a star in Lyra
A sign that couldn't be much clearer
It's time to go find Herods palace,
even though it's filled with malice

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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So Wise Man 2 is a New Wise Man
Who has a little shop when time allows...
I wonder does he have a Further Cunning Plan
Or is he going to Selfridges to browse?

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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Star in the East

Nativity Play
# 3751

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*continues glowing serenely while aiming a solar flare directly at the mean theater critic's head*

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Erin, standing in for Lyra

Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Idlely begins gathering various instruments of torture into the throne room, ready for when the kigs arrive. Piles a few thumbscrews on a silver tray by Herod's throne. Covers the plush carpet with a clear plastic cover, so that the wise men don't to spoil it with blood and/or urine.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Getting bored now...

Fetch me some claret, and round up some plebs to boil in treacle.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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Wakes up.

Oh, what a nightmare. I dreamed I was with those wise guys again, going to see some evil king with some evil henchmen with all kind of instruments of torture.

But, good thing that was just a dream.

Goes back to sleep.


--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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No, Wise Man 2’s decisive, he now knows what to do
He’s off to Herod’s Palace for a little interview
& if we’re very lucky, we’ll get the other wise men too...
I think the action just moved on, with leaden wings it flew...

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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Stumbling out of 'The Crown' Hostelry, Bethlehem, pint mug in hand. He scans the sky, then looks dazed

Bloomin' 'eck, what's that up thar, a-shining in the sky?
I've seen somes shiners in me time, but that fair takes the eye!

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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In the back of the bus,
asleep since Damascus
Other wise men are
awoken by the light of the star

No longer must we tarry
Our quest to Herod we must carry
We must find the source of our news,
Where is born the king of the Jews?

But beware Magi
For Herod is Sagittari
He'll thus react with anger
at news he thinks shows a danger

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Evil Henchman is in the middle of rounding plebs up, when she hears a knock at the door. She sends one slave to answer it, another to take Herod some claret, whilst a third forms a chain gang of the plebs. She herself is busy heating treacle to well past boiling point. Every so often she tests it by shoving a slave's hand into the bubbling pot. Finally:

"Yep, that scream hit the right frequency; the treacle is hot enough."

She takes the treacle in to the throne room.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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I s'pose I oughts to find me sheep
I wonders where they's bin?
I likes a drink from time to time
A beer, or p'raps a gin

I wonder wot's bin going on
While I've bin in me cups
'As that bird Mary 'ad 'er sprogs?
Did Gabriel turn up?

And wot's wiv all the foreign blokes
Who've moved into my town
I don't like folks from 'not round 'ere'
They really get me down!

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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Rudolph! Rudolph!

Sheepy !

Sheepy!

(Why can't they bloomin well stay put? I've only bin gone a coupla scenes!)

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 1

Nativity Play
# 3671

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Bored of woolly sheep plaits, which are just SOOOO tasteless, Sheep 1 catches a scent of treacle (*think "ahh Bisto" for the effect*) and wanders off licking her lips in anticipation.

Innocently and unsuspectingly Baaaaa

--------------------
Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)

Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Careful how you go wise men
Cos “Harrod” bears a grudge
And if you put a foot wrong, then
He’ll turn you into fudge…

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(dashing in, drenced from head to foot, handlebars dangling aorund neck)

Sorry, had a bit of trouble on the road...

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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And wot's that bloomin bus doing 'ere?
*&^%$£ tourists!
B*&&^%$ off!

(Us country folks don't like no-one 'oos not LOCAL!!!)

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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Wakes up again, wonders who's calling his name.

Climbs off tour bus, wanders off.


Baaaaa!

--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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'Ere!

Is that one of my sheep 'eaded fer the palace?

Oh, 'eck!

E'll be in 'ot mint sauce if that 'Erod gets a 'old of 'im!

SHEEP!

COME BACK!

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 1

Nativity Play
# 3671

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quote:
(Us country folks don't like no-one 'oos not LOCAL!!!)


Wondering what all the fuss is about, there's no trouble here ...

--------------------
Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)

Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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So another Wise Guy we have got, well
That makes us very happy.
Now go & see the king who’ll throttle
Anything in a nappy…

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Hey, Two, long time no see.

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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We wise men two
approach Herods throne room
a mission to carry through
to ask what may be our doom

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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YAWN.

Are my adoring fans here yet?

I can't wait all day, y'know.

Things to do, places to sack, people to massacre.

[ 15. December 2002, 22:38: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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Attempts to run uphill after errant sheep, something which he clearly has not attempted for some time. The effort causes him to spill his pint.

Oh, *&^%$£"! *&^% sheep!

Looks longingly back at the Inn, to see if it's worth going back for a refill. Looks at sheep, heading into the danger.

Well, I'm not the good shepherd, am I?

Returns to 'the Crown' for a 'quick one'.

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(sticking out chin resolutely.)
Bring it on!

(Again starts to stride purposefully in wrong direction. Someone stop me.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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Wanders toward a large palace. Wonders what this place is.

As he approaches the front door, Rudolph spots Wise Guy and Wise Man 2. Wise Guy spots Rudolph and smiles.

Oh, no, not these guys again!
[Eek!]

Ruldoph runs behind building and hides.

--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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