Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Dragon: Herod is a massive Unpleasant Person not into Influencing People and Making Friends
Hey! I resent that.
I am so into influencing people. Normally with the threat of severe pain, but it's the thought that counts.
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Rudolph's nose nose starts flickering, then goes out. Darn, battery's gone low again. Looks like I'll need a new bulb. Wanders down road. Sees a town ahead. Hmm, looks like some shops here, I'll see if I can find a red bulb here. Wanders into Harrod's.
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Puts cat into harness - it is completely immobilised.
She reaches down for the small chainsaw hidden behind a chair, and revs it up. First she takes a long strip off the cat's back. Then she turns the tail fur into a series of spiky points. Turning off the chainsaw, she puts it down, and picks the razor up. Taking each leg in turn out of the harness, she shaves vertical stripes of fur from the leg, then replaces it into the harness. Pausing a moment, she considers her next move.
-------------------- I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
When are my worshippers arriving, by the way?
You told me they were coming today.
<fingering sword>
You weren't lying to me, were you?
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
uh, Understudy?
This is a stage direction for you. Please dress yourself in some tinsel and come shine!! Time's a-wasting!
-------------------- The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Perhaps the star’s a rare conceit The meaning of life you ache to find Perhaps that’s why the Magi struggle to meet Perhaps that’s why they’re all trailing behind
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil henchman sends a slave boy to get some dollies clothes from Herod's toddler-age children. When slave boy returns, she dresses cat in a floral/paisley print dress, little white knitted booties, a pink woolly cardigan and fetching lime-green bonnet tied firmly under its chin. Cat is spitting, but cannot get the clothes off. Evil Henchman says:
Mr. Herod? I'm going to give the cat to your children to play with. They like playing dress up and dollies.
Evil Henchman exits stage right.
-------------------- I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Evil Henchman: Mr. Herod? I'm going to give the cat to your children to play with. They like playing dress up and dollies.
Yes, they do.
Especially now that they're teething.
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Notice for all animal lovers re activities of SarkyHenchman
Please be advised that no animals were harmed in the making of this production
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
*trudge* *jingle, jingle*
[Sheep 3 stops and attempts to bite off one of the cerulean bows holding on a jingle bell]
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Having purchased some presents Wonders where King Harrod is we should enter his presence and be about our wise men biz
-------------------- When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
I bet that Herod’s dodgy rule Would have our politicians blenching I bet he’s prone to leer and drool I bet he’s into sordid wenching
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Hey, is that someone knocking at the door of the Palace?
-------------------- I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Dragon:
Notice for all animal lovers re activities of SarkyHenchman
Please be advised that no animals were harmed in the making of this production
*voice from offstage*
THEY WILL BE!
-------------------- Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
So Wise man 2’s been organised And done some timely Xmas shopping To have one for “Harrod” would be well advised When he hears of the infant king, he’ll be hopping
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
I think it's probably time for a proper introduction.
Ahem:
Let me introduce myself, I'm Herod, King of the Jews. (This is round about the time when the audience all boos, But should you think of doing that, I can assure you, you'll all lose - Don't think I'm joking, by the way, I have more than enough Thumb Screws.)
I'm mean, nasty and obtuse, and, in case you have forgotten, I'm evil, an all-round bad egg - well and truly rotten. But I think you'll find, beneath my kecks (100% cotton), I have a very pert behind, the cutest little bottom.
I'm vain and rude (and good in bed). I am your original cad, I know you love it, by the way, everyone loves a bit of bad. Rich and powerful, that is me, isn't it so sad, That the pure and good always lose out? Doesn't it make you mad?
You may applaud in adoration and worship now.
[Worship, but don't mention the spelling errors...] [ 15. December 2002, 21:54: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
To see the king I have try-ed But did not expect Al Fayed
(this rhyming's getting outrageous do you think it is contagious?)
-------------------- When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Walks out of Harrod's with nose freshly glowing, and with book "Self Defense against evil twins and henchmen". You never know when this might come in handy.
Spots tour bus. Hmmm, where's this going, Rudolph wonders to self. Enters tour bus and finds an empty seat, and goes to sleep.
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Applauds wildly. Wolf whistles.
-------------------- I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
So here’s old Herod swaggering on With an attempt at Middle Eastern mystique And when he has got all his blaggering done At least we can admire his physique
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
*trudge, jingle....*
[Sheep 3 is very tired, and settles down for a nap]
Baaaa
*jingle*
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Star in the East
Nativity Play
# 3751
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Posted
*glows serenely, despite the mean theater critic who needs a good smack upside the head*
-------------------- Erin, standing in for Lyra
Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Oh, it was Harrod but Herod we were to see But where can that meeting be? I would like to see another wise man or two There's only so much shopping one bloke can do!
-------------------- When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 1
Nativity Play
# 3671
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Posted
Wanders in, wondering if the sound of jingling bells heralds food
Baaaa
Nestles up against Sheep 3, and starts nibbling her plaits
-------------------- Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)
Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Lo a star in Lyra A sign that couldn't be much clearer It's time to go find Herods palace, even though it's filled with malice
-------------------- When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
So Wise Man 2 is a New Wise Man Who has a little shop when time allows... I wonder does he have a Further Cunning Plan Or is he going to Selfridges to browse?
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Star in the East
Nativity Play
# 3751
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Posted
*continues glowing serenely while aiming a solar flare directly at the mean theater critic's head*
-------------------- Erin, standing in for Lyra
Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Idlely begins gathering various instruments of torture into the throne room, ready for when the kigs arrive. Piles a few thumbscrews on a silver tray by Herod's throne. Covers the plush carpet with a clear plastic cover, so that the wise men don't to spoil it with blood and/or urine.
-------------------- I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Getting bored now...
Fetch me some claret, and round up some plebs to boil in treacle.
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Wakes up.
Oh, what a nightmare. I dreamed I was with those wise guys again, going to see some evil king with some evil henchmen with all kind of instruments of torture.
But, good thing that was just a dream.
Goes back to sleep.
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
No, Wise Man 2’s decisive, he now knows what to do He’s off to Herod’s Palace for a little interview & if we’re very lucky, we’ll get the other wise men too... I think the action just moved on, with leaden wings it flew...
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Stumbling out of 'The Crown' Hostelry, Bethlehem, pint mug in hand. He scans the sky, then looks dazed
Bloomin' 'eck, what's that up thar, a-shining in the sky? I've seen somes shiners in me time, but that fair takes the eye!
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
In the back of the bus, asleep since Damascus Other wise men are awoken by the light of the star
No longer must we tarry Our quest to Herod we must carry We must find the source of our news, Where is born the king of the Jews?
But beware Magi For Herod is Sagittari He'll thus react with anger at news he thinks shows a danger
-------------------- When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman is in the middle of rounding plebs up, when she hears a knock at the door. She sends one slave to answer it, another to take Herod some claret, whilst a third forms a chain gang of the plebs. She herself is busy heating treacle to well past boiling point. Every so often she tests it by shoving a slave's hand into the bubbling pot. Finally:
"Yep, that scream hit the right frequency; the treacle is hot enough."
She takes the treacle in to the throne room.
-------------------- I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
I s'pose I oughts to find me sheep I wonders where they's bin? I likes a drink from time to time A beer, or p'raps a gin
I wonder wot's bin going on While I've bin in me cups 'As that bird Mary 'ad 'er sprogs? Did Gabriel turn up?
And wot's wiv all the foreign blokes Who've moved into my town I don't like folks from 'not round 'ere' They really get me down!
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Rudolph! Rudolph!
Sheepy !
Sheepy!
(Why can't they bloomin well stay put? I've only bin gone a coupla scenes!)
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 1
Nativity Play
# 3671
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Posted
Bored of woolly sheep plaits, which are just SOOOO tasteless, Sheep 1 catches a scent of treacle (*think "ahh Bisto" for the effect*) and wanders off licking her lips in anticipation.
Innocently and unsuspectingly Baaaaa
-------------------- Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)
Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Careful how you go wise men Cos “Harrod” bears a grudge And if you put a foot wrong, then He’ll turn you into fudge…
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(dashing in, drenced from head to foot, handlebars dangling aorund neck)
Sorry, had a bit of trouble on the road...
-------------------- KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
And wot's that bloomin bus doing 'ere? *&^%$£ tourists! B*&&^%$ off!
(Us country folks don't like no-one 'oos not LOCAL!!!)
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Wakes up again, wonders who's calling his name.
Climbs off tour bus, wanders off.
Baaaaa!
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
'Ere!
Is that one of my sheep 'eaded fer the palace?
Oh, 'eck!
E'll be in 'ot mint sauce if that 'Erod gets a 'old of 'im!
SHEEP!
COME BACK!
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 1
Nativity Play
# 3671
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Posted
quote: (Us country folks don't like no-one 'oos not LOCAL!!!)
Wondering what all the fuss is about, there's no trouble here ...
-------------------- Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)
Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
So another Wise Guy we have got, well That makes us very happy. Now go & see the king who’ll throttle Anything in a nappy…
-------------------- come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Hey, Two, long time no see.
-------------------- KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
We wise men two approach Herods throne room a mission to carry through to ask what may be our doom
-------------------- When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
YAWN.
Are my adoring fans here yet?
I can't wait all day, y'know.
Things to do, places to sack, people to massacre. [ 15. December 2002, 22:38: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Attempts to run uphill after errant sheep, something which he clearly has not attempted for some time. The effort causes him to spill his pint.
Oh, *&^%$£"! *&^% sheep!
Looks longingly back at the Inn, to see if it's worth going back for a refill. Looks at sheep, heading into the danger.
Well, I'm not the good shepherd, am I?
Returns to 'the Crown' for a 'quick one'.
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(sticking out chin resolutely.) Bring it on!
(Again starts to stride purposefully in wrong direction. Someone stop me.)
-------------------- KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Wanders toward a large palace. Wonders what this place is.
As he approaches the front door, Rudolph spots Wise Guy and Wise Man 2. Wise Guy spots Rudolph and smiles.
Oh, no, not these guys again!
Ruldoph runs behind building and hides.
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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