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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 8: Finding the Inn/The Birth
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Fairy Godmother, you suppose we can work up a little display to amuse these folks?
So much for that idea.
How about a tag-team match. Jedi and Fairy against Herod and Evil Twin?
Now that is more like what's written in my job description!
I can just see it...a little purple fairy and a brown-robed Jedi fighting a purple robed Herod and a baby ???
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
You forgot? You forgot???????
That's a great one that is!
Scowls serenely at Fairy GodmotherI don't know what you're grinning at!
Joseph, I just don't believe it. I reminded you five thousand times. Honestly, if you want anything doing....
Look, I can't hang around here anyway, let's go and see if they can squeeze us into the honeymoon suite.
Ah!
Talking of honeymoons.....
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 attempts to climb into limo]
*jingle jingle*
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
*jingle jingle*
*Sits up and shakes head from side to side*
Must see the doctor about this tinitus ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
List of things to do once I'm on the outside:
1. Kill animals
2. Kill sexist pig of a stepfather
3. Find nearest vodka bar
Still joyfully awaiting your birth. Will you join our tag team match after you complete these tasks?
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Joseph, you promised to marry me before we came to Bethlehem. Don't tell me you conveniently forgot that too!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Talking of honeymoons.....
I knew you'd understand, babe. I mean, you're not an unreasonable lady, are you?! If you will make me do everything, I'm liable to forget things.
I'm only human.
Anyway, if I'm getting your drift, you want to get hitched? The thought's been on my mind every moment I've spent without you. Lucky for us, I saw a 24-Hr Rent-A-Rabbi on the way here.
Driver, to the Rent-A-Rabbi!
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joseph:
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Talking of honeymoons.....
I knew you'd understand, babe. I mean, you're not an unreasonable lady, are you?! If you will make me do everything, I'm liable to forget things.
I'm only human.
Anyway, if I'm getting your drift, you want to get hitched? The thought's been on my mind every moment I've spent without you. Lucky for us, I saw a 24-Hr Rent-A-Rabbi on the way here.
Driver, to the Rent-A-Rabbi!
Glances back at Brian still sleeping sweetly in the front seat of the Skoda and wonders whether she really is making the right move. Rent-a-rabbi??? This is not exactly the white wedding she'd dreamed of ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Joseph!!!! The LUGGAGE!!!!!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Joseph!!!! The LUGGAGE!!!!!
![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
Oh, and Rent-A-Rabbi looks very good, so you can stop being all suspicious.
They do free jacket potato and shandy receptions after the ceremony, y'know?
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Mary, if you still need a midwife I can help? And I'm a great babysitter. The kids will be fine with me...
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
JOSEPH!!!!! WE'VE LEFT THE LUGGAGE IN THE SKODA!!!!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 settles down on the floor of the limo and begins chewing her cud]
*jingle*
Baa.
*chew, chew*
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
JOSEPH!!!!! WE'VE LEFT THE LUGGAGE IN THE SKODA!!!!
"We've"... that's a laugh.
Look, the only slot open at Rent-A-Rabbi...
Points to shop window.
Is now. We either get married, or we get luggage. The choice is yours.
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 settles down on the floor of the limo and begins chewing her cud]
*jingle*
Baa.
*chew, chew*
Why? ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
*sings* we're <thud> going to the chapel and we're <thud> gonna get maaaaaried...
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Looks at Joseph... looks back towards where they left the Skoda... looks at Joseph again..
Luggage!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Manoeuvres herself out of car door*
I hate sleeping on back seats of cars - no leg room ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Now where am I?
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Ooops, Mary suddenly remembers that they haven't booked at the Plaza and Bethlehem is filling rapidly. And Joseph is, after all, the man of her dreams..... isn't he?
I mean to say, luggage? That can wait. Joseph, I want to live with you for ever. ![[Love]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif) Let's get married now ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Looks at Joseph... looks back towards where they left the Skoda... looks at Joseph again..
Luggage!
Driver, back to the skoda.
I can't believe this... we're MEANT TO BE MARRIED BEFORE YOU GIVE BIRTH! It says so in the gosp- I mean, I heard it prophecied.
By an angel!
{sotto voce}
If that excuse was good enough for her, it's good enough for me.
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Mary, if you still need a midwife I can help? And I'm a great babysitter. The kids will be fine with me...
*Ahem!!!*
I knew I sensed great evil!
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
With a serene smile, Mary grabs Joseph's hand and runs into Rent-a-Rabbi. It may not be a white wedding, but at least she's wearing something blue!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
Woman, you better find a place to birth me soon, it is TOO CROWDED in here with ol' what's-his-butt. He keeps trying to take my gun away.
Tag team? Is this a cage match?
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Ooops, Mary suddenly remembers that they haven't booked at the Plaza and Bethlehem is filling rapidly. And Joseph is, after all, the man of her dreams..... isn't he?
I mean to say, luggage? That can wait. Joseph, I want to live with you for ever. Let's get married now
Oh, good grief. Make your mind up.
Driver, back to Rent-A-Rabbi. And fast!
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
With a serene smile, Mary grabs Joseph's hand and runs into Rent-a-Rabbi. It may not be a white wedding, but at least she's wearing something blue!
I can't believe it - she's actually gonna marry HIM ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Wow, that was quick. There I am, delivering orders to the driver, and we're already here.
Clever fella, Bert.
Addresses young woman behind Rent-A-Rabbi desk.
Hey kid, is Rabbi Blue available? We want a Budgeto-Express Wedding, and we want it now.
Young woman sighs, and waves Mary and Joseph through. Joseph turns to Mary.
There! See? Told you I had it all planned out.
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Woman, you better find a place to birth me soon, it is TOO CROWDED in here with ol' what's-his-butt. He keeps trying to take my gun away.
Tag team? Is this a cage match?
Hey - I'm not going fight that ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
Not that I'm a coward - it's just that I know what's best for my self preservation
[ 16. December 2002, 21:07: Message edited by: Director ]
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Budgeto-Express ????
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fourth Angel
Nativity Play
# 3647
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Posted
Do you need a witness? Or a best ma.. er, best angel or something?
With that Lavinia, you're going to need all the angelic help you can get.
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From the goddess Inanna to the fourth angel from the left.
Posts: 62 | From: The Realms of Glory | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Budgeto-Express ????
Yeah. It was nice, wasn't it? Thought we might actually get to see the rabbi, but apparently not. And that loudspeaker he was talking to us from the next room through looked awful like a cassette player to me.
But hey, you're my little Mrs Carpenter now!
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Fairy godmother is a wussy wimp who needs a good butt kicking.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
I was going to ask the Fairy Godmother to be bridesmaid, but.....
and besides, it looks like she might be busy.
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joseph:
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Budgeto-Express ????
Yeah. It was nice, wasn't it? Thought we might actually get to see the rabbi, but apparently not. And that loudspeaker he was talking to us from the next room through looked awful like a cassette player to me.
But hey, you're my little Mrs Carpenter now!
Hmmmmmmm... not quite what I had expected, but the honeymoon suite at the Plaza will make up for that, I'm sure. Oh Joseph, I do so love you! Where's the ring?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Jesus' evil twin, do you want a gun or sword or anything? I got a sweet little daggar here - will nicely reach a person's heart when you hug them and stab them
[ 16. December 2002, 21:06: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Fairy godmother is a wussy wimp who needs a good butt kicking.
I heard that - pardon?
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 climbs out of the limo while Mary and Joseph are inside getting married, and wanders off looking for something to eat.]
Baaaaaaa
*jingle jingle jingle*
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Ring?
Ahhh, yes. Ring.
Snatches can of Coke from deskgirl, rips off ring-pull. Spits. Polishes. Hands to BVM(C.)
There you go, honeypumpkin!
Now, let's see if we can find somewhere to sleep tonight...
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
JK sits with fingers in ears...
I do not crave Excitement and Adventure.
lalalalalalalala...I can't hear you! lalalalalala
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary smiles sweetly at Joseph He does his best, bless him, and his heart's in the right place... besides, by the feel of things, she'd better not hang around. She returns to the limo, walking a little awkwardly, and manouevres herself back in. The limo speeds off in the general direction of the Bethlehem Plaza
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
JK sits with fingers in ears...
I do not crave Excitement and Adventure.
lalalalalalalala...I can't hear you! lalalalalala
We crave it! Mediocrity and blandness doesn't make a vivid plot. We need hype and plenty of it.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Having thankfully leapt in the limo before it sped off, Joseph turns to his dear wife.
There, there. I'm sure it'll all be fine.
Slaps pregnant bump.
Hear that, chaps? It'll ALL be FINE!
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Picks up discarded road map and studies it*
Ummm - just as I thought, just round the corner
*Wanders off in search of Hotel*
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman waves car down, and says:
Mary, I have a letter for you from Herod. It reads:
To Mary, I have Sven. Either you have an abortion, or Sven loses his head. Love your king, Herod. Mwah mwah.
Oh, and if it's too late for an abortion, then you have to kill the good baby once you've squeezed it out. Or give it to me.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Evil Henchman waves car down, and says:
Mary, I have a letter for you from Herod. It reads:
To Mary, I have Sven. Either you have an abortion, or Sven loses his head. Love your king, Herod. Mwah mwah.
Oh, and if it's too late for an abortion, then you have to kill the good baby once you've squeezed it out. Or give it to me.
Mary glances at the Musical Director and waves the note at him.
TXT TO MD
THOUGHT U HAD SVEN
IS HE SAFE?
NEED 2 KNOW
RGDS
BVM
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
And just in case you were wondering Mary, I have brought evidence.
There is a photo here of Sevn blindfolded awaiting his fate...
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary is in a quandary... she cannot bear the thought of a poor helpless animal being tortured. But at the moment she has weightier things on her mind, and on her bladder. She smiles serenely at the Evil Henchman
Joe, can we just stop at the nearest public toilets a moment... I need to...er... powder my nose.
Besides, I just tried ringing the Bethlehem Plaza and got the answerphone. It looks like the innkeeper may not be there yet, so we've plenty of time.
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Driver, stop the car!
Look Mary, there's a bucket out by that shed. Make it snappy - the TV only works when the limo's moving, and I want to watch the end of this episode of "Quincy".
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Evil Henchman waves car down, and says:
Mary, I have a letter for you from Herod. It reads:
To Mary, I have Sven. Either you have an abortion, or Sven loses his head. Love your king, Herod. Mwah mwah.
Oh, and if it's too late for an abortion, then you have to kill the good baby once you've squeezed it out. Or give it to me.
***sigh*** I guess that excitement and adventure are following me.
Evil Henchman!!! Now, don't make me kill you before we even get to the real battle which I foresee in the Force.
JK ignites lightsaber and stands between EH and BVM.
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Mary is in a quandary... she cannot bear the thought of a poor helpless animal being tortured. But at the moment she has weightier things on her mind, and on her bladder. She smiles serenely at the Evil Henchman
Joe, can we just stop at the nearest public toilets a moment... I need to...er... powder my nose.
Besides, I just tried ringing the Bethlehem Plaza and got the answerphone. It looks like the innkeeper may not be there yet, so we've plenty of time.
Cut to backstage dressing room where the Director is making fruitless attempts to persuade Understudy to take on parts of Midwife and Innkeeper.
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Unable to argue, Mary runs (OK, waddles quickly) across to the shed and disappears behind it. ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif) On her way, though, she takes a copy of Pride and Prejudice out of her pocket.
Hmmmm...... I'll give him "Make it snappy" Smiles serenely ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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