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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 8: Finding the Inn/The Birth (Page 3)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 8: Finding the Inn/The Birth
Chief Angel

Nativity Play
# 3706

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*Chief Angel runs in, out of breath*

Mary! Mary! Just had to let you know - there's a baby going to be born in Bethlehem in Judea tonight. He's in a manger in a stable. Go there right away!

[Angel]

--------------------
WorkInProgress at her most angelic...

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chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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*Assists Virgin Mary with bucket partially concealed in curtains.*

What a jerk! [Frown]

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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Ever-so-accidentally chucks empty champagne bottle out of limousine so that it smacks Chief Stage Manager square in the head.

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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TXT 2 MRY

HAD SVEN, GOT STLN BY HROD
HE BAD MAN - WATCH IT
TYPICAL PPL FRM MANCHESTER
ALWYS TWOCCING
HOPE BABYZ OK

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Angel:
*Chief Angel runs in, out of breath*

Mary! Mary! Just had to let you know - there's a baby going to be born in Bethlehem in Judea tonight. He's in a manger in a stable. Go there right away!

[Angel]

[Embarrassed] Do you mind???? [Embarrassed] I'm busy! [Embarrassed]

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Joseph:
Ever-so-accidentally chucks empty champagne bottle out of limousine so that it smacks Chief Stage Manager square in the head.

*Flings some left behind sheep and cow plop at Joseph.*

The love is mutual, buddy! [Mad]

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

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Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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OI, MARY, WANT TO HURRY UP? MY OLD GRAN COULD TAKE A SLASH FASTER THAN THIS. WE NEED TO GET A HOTEL ROOM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

{sigh}

And you're making me miss Quincy.

[Waterworks]

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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With you in a minute, darling!

whispers under her breath Just as soon as I've finished chapter three ! [Big Grin]

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Director

Nativity Play
# 3664

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Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

Go slw at Bthlm Plaz
Ink gn AWOL
HLP!!!!!!!

Drat these new- fangled text thingies. Give me carrier pidgeon any day! [Frown]

--------------------
Miffy

Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jesus' evil twin

Nativity Play
# 3702

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quote:
Originally posted by Joseph:
Slaps pregnant bump.

Hear that, chaps? It'll ALL be FINE!

OK, kill sexist pig of a stepfather has just moved up to number one on list of things to do in, oh, about ten minutes or so.

*sees light, makes a break for it*

--------------------
Erin (of course)

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
TXT 2 MRY

HAD SVEN, GOT STLN BY HROD
HE BAD MAN - WATCH IT
TYPICAL PPL FRM MANCHESTER
ALWYS TWOCCING
HOPE BABYZ OK

Bother... this makes things rather difficult. Can the mother of God really have the blood of an innocent moose on her hands?

Feels a baby move inside her, and as Ickle Jesus sweetly sleeps, she has little doubt as to who it is

There again, maybe we can do a deal!

Smiles even more serenely

OK Joseph, let's get on our way.

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Angel

Nativity Play
# 3706

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quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Angel:
*Chief Angel runs in, out of breath*

Mary! Mary! Just had to let you know - there's a baby going to be born in Bethlehem in Judea tonight. He's in a manger in a stable. Go there right away!

[Angel]

[Embarrassed] Do you mind???? [Embarrassed] I'm busy! [Embarrassed]
[brick wall] [Embarrassed] [brick wall]

Sorry, wrong night...

*Chief Angel effects a sharp exit USL*

--------------------
WorkInProgress at her most angelic...

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Director

Nativity Play
# 3664

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?
We have no Innkeeper! [Confused] [Confused]

<Grabs flask from Fairy Godmother>

Do something! [Eek!]

--------------------
Miffy

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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With a pure and innocent smile at Joseph, knowing full well that Quincy will have just got past the interesting bit, Mary returns to the limo. She kisses Joseph on the top of the head.

Sorry I was sooooooo long, sweetheart. Now, I really do think we need to get to the Plaza jolly quick. Ask the driver to put his foot down, would you, my love?

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?
I think she's fainted.....splashes cold water on Director's face and pats her cheeks....."annie, annie, are you ok?"

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

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Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
OK Joseph, let's get on our way.

Finally! I thought you'd never finish. Driver, on to the Bethlehem Plaza!

Car starts moving. TV switches on. Quincy end theme-music plays.

[Frown]

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

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Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Angel:
Sorry, wrong night...

*Chief Angel effects a sharp exit USL*

Don't think I've said this in a while, so here goes:

(ahem)

"Bloody amateurs"

Carry on.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

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chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?
We have no Innkeeper! [Confused] [Confused]

<Grabs flask from Fairy Godmother>

Do something! [Eek!]

We permanently have no Innkeeper? A forever no-show? Or is this a stall....?

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?
We have no Innkeeper! [Confused] [Confused]

<Grabs flask from Fairy Godmother>

Do something! [Eek!]

Like what?

I'm on my way to the hotel

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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Oh darling. You missed it. I am sorry.

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Jedi Knight

Nativity Play
# 3686

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Angel:

Sorry, wrong night...

*Chief Angel effects a sharp exit USL*

I'm the right Knight!

How can I be of assistance?

--------------------
jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?
We have no Innkeeper! [Confused] [Confused]

<Grabs flask from Fairy Godmother>

Do something! [Eek!]

We permanently have no Innkeeper? A forever no-show? Or is this a stall....?
Whispers an aside to the Chief Stage Manager I think she wanted you to understudy the understudy. Can you get to the inn ahead of us?

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Director

Nativity Play
# 3664

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
Txt to Stg Mngr
Gt ovr hr quick!

*runs to director's chair in the wings.....we have no Innkeeper?
I think she's fainted.....splashes cold water on Director's face and pats her cheeks....."annie, annie, are you ok?"
Comes to

It was never like this in panto! [Eek!]

I think I need to be alone. [Paranoid]

Staggers off towards the tea-trolley, a broken woman.

--------------------
Miffy

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Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Y'know...

I have a spare room at the palace.

Ensuite, room service.

Free bottle of Bolinger for all those giving birth to future kings.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

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chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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I'll understudy, Director. You just have to keep me out of hot water with the dreaded Equity Deputy. [Frown]

Yes, I can be there afore you! [Wink]

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

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Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Oh darling. You missed it. I am sorry.

So am I. Well, when your waters break, let me know. I'm going to have a nap in the meantime.

[Smile] ... [Snore]

Falls asleep. Spasms in sleep, elbowing pregnant bump forcefully and crushing Evil Twin's skull in the process. What a shame.

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

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Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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Waking up

I virtually live in the Crown Inn. Will I be able to help?

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

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Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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On second thoughts, I've got a bloody awful hanover. And superficial burns from sleeping next to that Dragon!

[Frown]

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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Thoughts of snuggling up to her handsome hubby for the rest of the journey are sadly quashed by his protruding elbows, so to pass the time, she opens the window of the limo and serenely drops a trail of Joseph's Pringles and cans of beer along the road to Bethlehem. These are followed by the Sports pages of the Bethlehem Times

Whoops!

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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But I 'ave delivered sheep...lambs. You know...

Where's the alka seltzer?

And someone turn that (*&^% star off! It's too "£$%^& bright!

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

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Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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Wakes with a start.

Mary, did you invite this comic shepherd to ride in our limo? He smells of sh... ploppy-poopy-whoopsies*.

Casually looks out of window.

We really should have arrived at the Plaza by now. Might have a drink to pass the time. And a quick shufty at the newspaper.

Oi, Mary, pass it over, would you? And get me some beer from the minibar, too. I'd prefer it if it was opened by the time it reaches my hand. If your feeble womanly hands can't manage the ringpull, get Ol' Stinky to do it.

(*=Terminology approved by the Grand Puritanical Council of England.)

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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Whispers very very very quietly
Oh Joseph. I have just remembered, I left all your tools in the Skoda. Still, I am sure Brian will take care of them. He was a very very nice man, after all. [Big Grin]

Joseph slumbers on as the limo speeds towards the Bethlehem Plaza, where sundry cast members are apparently debating who should have the..er... honour of understudying the innkeeper.

Well, he can't say I didn't tell him, can he? [Angel]

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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Oh drat.. he wasn't meant to wake just as I said that!!!

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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Ah look Joseph, here's the Plaza!
I'm afraid you'll have to go in.... I might not make it!

Phew

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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Often gives the impression of being asleep, but really wasn't on this occasion.

[Eek!]

YOU LEFT ALL MY TOOLS WITH THAT SLEAZE-BAG?!

[Mad] [Mad] [Mad]

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

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Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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Aside to Joseph

Idiot! I'm not in the limo! This is a little side-piece, the Inn in Bethlehem! Upstage right! Comic relief etc.!

outloud

Do I hear far off voices? As of idiots talkin'?

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

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chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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Do you want me to understudy the Innkeeper??

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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slowly to the front door of the Crown, felling quite queasy. What a night! Had a horrible nightmare of Jedi Knights and Fairy Godmothers in tag-team matches, and an innocent moose kidnapped by an evil king, and an evil twin wreaking general havoc.

Oh, well, good thing that was just a dream. That kind of stuff would never happen in Bethlehem.

One thing for sure, that's the last time I ever drink tequila.

Wanders out into street.

[Projectile]

Good, now I feel much better


Baaaaaaaa!

--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

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Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Ah look Joseph, here's the Plaza!
I'm afraid you'll have to go in.... I might not make it!

Phew

Oh, good point.

Joseph has a short attention span, which is rather convenient for Mary - on this occasion.

Dashes in to reception.

My good man! Your bridal suite, toute suite!

--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

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The Cow

Nativity Play
# 3656

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<lollops on stage left>

Er... moo.

Whispers to Director: I can pretend to be an innkeeper if you like. Although tonight was going to be my BIG night as The Cow. I've been practising my lines y'know. Listen:

Moo!

--------------------
Anybody ever seen a whale in a cow outfit before?

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Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
Do you want me to understudy the Innkeeper??

(Mutters) Looks like the job is yours if Jedi Knight don't want the role

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

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Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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Let the cow do it!

--------------------
I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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I left your tools?
I left your tools?
I like that!
[Mad]
I wanted to go back for the luggage but would you let me? Oh no! No, it was "You have to choose between your luggage and me!" Well, brilliant choice I made, didn't I? I'd have got more compassion out of a buzzsaw and a bag of chisels. And here I am, pregnant with your childre...er...well, pregnant with God's children and your stepkids.... You... you...

Takes off ringpull from finger and throws it to the ground

And you can have that back too!

--------------------
Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

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Angel 3

Nativity Play
# 3687

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(The Star flares and a single ray of light picks out the limo- a bit like a scene from an alien abduction when you think about it. Angel 3 slides down the beam of light and lands on the roof of the limo. Grasping the TV aerial and balanced like a charioteer, she leans into the wind...)
Someone has to warn them about Herod and his free room deals - and it's not real Bolly!

--------------------
The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim

"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."

Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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Stares at space where, in a competent performance, a concierge would be standing and answering his query.

Trusts that the Reviewer will be sure not to associate him with this -up.

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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Comic Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3660

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When they finds the Plaza's full (and let's face it, they won't want no blood on their sheets, no fear) they ain't comin' to the Crown, are they?

cos it's MY LOCAL!!!

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I be also known as Moth!

Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Virgin Mary

Nativity Play
# 3653

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Sits outside and fumes that Joseph didn't even have the consideration to hang around for her outburst. Typical man! [Mad] Now she'll have to do it all again.

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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)

Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 3

Nativity Play
# 3687

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quote:
Originally posted by Joseph:
Stares at space where, in a competent performance, a concierge would be standing and answering his query.

Trusts that the Reviewer will be sure not to associate him with this -up.

Look this is what you get for nursemaiding a pack of drunken Wise Men - too late to deliver the next warning!

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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim

"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."

Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
I left your tools?
I left your tools?
I like that!
[Mad]
I wanted to go back for the luggage but would you let me? Oh no! No, it was "You have to choose between your luggage and me!" Well, brilliant choice I made, didn't I? I'd have got more compassion out of a buzzsaw and a bag of chisels. And here I am, pregnant with your childre...er...well, pregnant with God's children and your stepkids.... You... you...

Takes off ringpull from finger and throws it to the ground

And you can have that back too!

Mary, you know I love you really!

[Love]

(Isn't this cute? Our first row!)

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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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