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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 10: Shepherds visit
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
Does anyone know how the theme tune to 'Married With Children' go?
Ah, that's it:
'Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage...'
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Hey, make sure that bundle watches where it's spitting!
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mother Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
Re-enters, carrying spitting bundle
Is this what you were looking for?
Is that the stable cat?
Er no, it's the other baby.
I found her chewing glasses in the bar.
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman enters singing:
Ding dong merrily in hell
In Beth'lem kids are screaming
Ding dong merrily in hell
King Herod is a-scheming
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria
The angels all are falling.
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria
The angels all are falling.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mother Mary:
I mean, there'll be piano lessons, horse riding, ballet for Lavinia, karate for Jesus, school uniforms, Christmas and birthday presents (all on the same day, poor kids), school trips....
Look, woman, I don't know what crack you're smokin' here, but in my former life I studied ballet for eight years, and there is NO WAY IN HELL you're ever getting me into a leotard, tights, or a tutu.
That's just the way it is.
quote:
Originally posted by Joseph:
Lavinia will stay at home to clean the floor, help prepare the food and engage in other activities suited only to women.
You're gonna be old and decrepit one day, bucko, and dependent upon me for food and medicine.
[ 18. December 2002, 23:14: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Serenely drops a squawking Lavinia into Joseph's lap, together with a bottle of milk
I'm not breast-feeding thatone, so you're going to have to start getting used to sleepless nights, Joseph darling! Now, if you'll kindly avert your gaze, 'ickle Jesus and I are just going to sit quietly behind this haystack and have supper.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Even Lowlier Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3691
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
Why don't we put them in this box, and perhaps Even Lowlier Shepherd (he's very nice, not like the others) can give them as a gift to the baby. I notice that the Baby Jesus liked the one I put in the manger. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Oh.. THAT box. Er.. hmm. I had it a moment ago.
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the ferret normally known as Siegfried
Posts: 36 | From: A field in Judea | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
There now, go to mummy!
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
There now, go to mummy!
Daddy. I think you meant "Daddy" ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Stares long and hard at Joseph.
Nope, he definitely meant "mummy".
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
My mommy doesn't want me. I feel so unloved.
![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
You know I love you. Daddy loves you too... I can remember him saying that when you were still an itty-bitty foetus growing in mummy's tummy. I carried you for nine months, it's Daddy's turn now! Smiles sweetly at her darling daughter He wants some quality time with you.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
I think it's more like he wants to turn me into his cabin wench.
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Lavinia darling, as you grow you will learn that not all men are perfect, and some less so than others. We may have our work cut out, daughter dear, but I think between us we can help Daddy learn a thing or two about relationships. We'll make a new man of him yet. It may have been a quick wedding... just aisle, altar, hymn... but I think it may be prophetic. ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Erm...can I go now? I did find her, after all.
It's just... she's run up a bit of a tab at the bar, like.
I don't know if you could see your way clear to popping in...?
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
And he is very good looking, after all ![[Love]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
It's just... she's run up a bit of a tab at the bar, like.
I hope that was milk she was drinking ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
Never mind, I'm sure Joseph will settle up....when he wakes. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman sings some more:
God damn ye merry gentlemen
Let all things you dismay
For Jesus Christ's evil twin
Was born upon this day
To save us all from stable cats
And an'mals in the hay
O-o tidings of blo-odshed and pain,
Blood shed and pain
O-o tidings of blo-odshed and pain.
[ 18. December 2002, 23:29: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
And she..er...chewed up quite a few glasses...
And ate the sawdust off the floor
See, if no-one pays, I'll be barred!
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Even Lowlier Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3691
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Posted
[ELS gives Lavinia an odd look]
Isn't she a mite young to be talking already? And shouldn't she have one of those glowing gold nimbus-thingies about her head like ickle Jesus there does, rather than a black glow?
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the ferret normally known as Siegfried
Posts: 36 | From: A field in Judea | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Lovely song, dear, but would you mind keeping it down a bit... the babies need their sleep and so do I. It's been a very tiring day, you know.
Maybe you could do something helpful like take this bucket of nappies to the laundrette. Thanks awfully.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 moves to a spot in the stable which places Baby Jesus between herself and the baby with the black nimbus.]
ba
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Right, I'll be off then
Glances uneasily at Lavinia
I'd keep her...tied up...if I were you.
Don't leave her with the other one, plase, missus!
She's....uncanny
exit
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
The Blessed Virgin snuggles the infant Lavinia, still fully swaddled, into the arms of the sleeping Joseph. She places baby Jesus in the snug blanket of clean hay which a kindly angel has placed in the manger. A sideways glance at the Evil Henchman, however, unsettles her and she thinks better of it, lifts the baby Jesus once more into her arms and looks for a comfortable bed of hay to settle down on for the night.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman grins broadly, and sings a quieter song:
Silent night.
Holy night.
Herod's here
Out of sight
He'll find Jesus wherever he's hid
Though the wise men won't tell on the kid.
Today will be your last day.
Today will be your last day.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 looks askance at Evil Henchman; she lowers her head, runs and butts]
*THUMP*
Baaaaa
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Having butted Evil Henchman, Sheep 3 realizes it would be wise to go look for some nice grazing on a remote hilltop somewhere.]
Baaaaaaaa
*trot, trot, trot*
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Reaches for small chainsaw and revs it up.
You want the fur on your back removed in stripes?
Oh good
Sets to work shaving the sheep in horizontal stripes.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Snuggled up with the baby Jesus, Mary turns a conveniently deaf ear to the Evil Henchman - a skill which she is working on perfecting for use with her beloved husband - and sings softly to the little boy
'Ickly Jesus sweetly sleep, do not stir
Henchman's plans will not get fur
(OK, well, it nearly rhymes, and it's late, and I did give birth to twins just recently, you know, so what do you expect??? Miracles????)
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Deputy Chief Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3698
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Posted
Returns from the bar
Is that a chainsaw? Is that one of our sheep?
Glances across at Lavinia
WHAT'S THAT!
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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.
Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
Glances across at Lavinia
WHAT'S THAT!
It's OK, shepherd, it's my husband.
[ 19. December 2002, 00:02: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Penny drops
Hey, don't talk that way about my itty-bitty, sweetie-weetie little daughter. That's my Lavinia, that is! Isn't she beautiful?
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Evil Henchman croons:
Little Jesus drugged asleep,
You won't wake,
You will die for Herod's sake.
I will kill you, kill you, kill you.
See the dagger shining bright
This may well be your last night.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Deputy Chief Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3698
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Posted
Errr, yesss, of course ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
Unique is the word that springs to mind
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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.
Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
I will need your name.
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Mary snuggles Jesus closer, a sense of foreboding making her feel uneasy... or maybe it's just that Joseph hasn't shut the door properly. A thought suddenly flits across her memory
Here, you said you'd help with this. Off you go! See you in the morning! And thanks for being such an angel
Hands the Evil Henchman the bucket of soaking terry nappies and a scrubbing board
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
I'm sorry about Lavinia's, by the way... I'm a bit worried about that baby's digestion, you know. But you'll cope.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Wakes with a start.
Wha... I must have fallen asleep. Well, all the shepherds have gone. Should probably urge all these stragglers to leave too.
Oh, hello Evil Henchman. Time you left, I think.
Spin-kick.
Right, now to shut the door.
*click*
Good night, Mary! Good night, Jesus! And... well, good night... Cyril. I mean, Lavinia.
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Oh Joseph. My hero
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
Is it time for 'Goodnight Kiss' by Geri Halliwell?
I thought not.
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
Is it time for 'Goodnight Kiss' by Geri Halliwell?
I thought not.
Aside to the orchestra pit Sorry, Mr Musical Director, but you should know that Joseph is the only man for me. I'll wave goodnight to you, though, if you like. Waves serenely, then settles down to sleep
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Deputy Chief Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3698
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Posted
Spots Sheep 3 while heading back to the fields. Suppresses smile at her horizontal shearing.
Well, it serves you right. Headbutting everyone you see. I told you it would get you in trouble one day.
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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.
Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Angel
Nativity Play
# 3706
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Posted
*Chief Angel creeps in, knowing full well that she's REALLY late this time...*
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee;
Blessed art thou among women
And blessed art the fruit of thy womb Jesus;
Holy Mary, pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death
![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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WorkInProgress at her most angelic...
Posts: 42 | From: Heaven/Pantoland | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Runs out of the stable, passes Sheep 3. Sees Sheep 3's unusual new look.
And I thought I was the weird-looking one. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Runs away and frolicks in the fields.
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Reaches for small chainsaw and revs it up.
You want the fur on your back removed in stripes?
Oh good
Sets to work shaving the sheep in horizontal stripes.
[Sheep 3 contemplates the stupidity of people who don't know that sheep have wool, or call it a fleece, but by no definition do they have fur. ![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif) ]
Baaah.
[ 19. December 2002, 09:39: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stable Cat
Nativity Play
# 3657
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Posted
*stable cat wanders in. wanders over to where bvm is holding baby jesus, sits and looks up with wrapt attention*
mrrrrrt?
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nicolemrw says "meow!"
Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
Angel 6, returned from cherub-schlepping duties, surveys the scene and heaves another deep sigh, pulls out Flaming Sword, and sends Evil Henchman on his way. Miraculously heals Sheep 3, then passes out drinks to Angel 3, Lavinia and self.
Anybody else for a drink?
![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stable Cat
Nativity Play
# 3657
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Posted
*stable cat walks up to angel 6*
mrrrrrrlllt?
(loosely translates to "i'll have some cream if you've got any")
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nicolemrw says "meow!"
Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*stable cat walks up to angel 6*
mrrrrrrlllt?
(loosely translates to "i'll have some cream if you've got any")
But of course, small feline person!
Would you like that with or without Kahlua? Or I have eggnog, if you'd prefer to be seasonable in your refreshments. Your choice of brandy, rum or bourbon.
Pours out generous libation, idly wondering what weird alternate universe is working itself out in all this booze
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stable Cat
Nativity Play
# 3657
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Posted
*stable cat indicates that eggnog, only mildly alcoholic, would be very nice indeed*
mrrrrrrttttt!
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nicolemrw says "meow!"
Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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