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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route (Page 3)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(Toddles over to TM, hands over phone.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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I miss Rudolph....

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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motions for phone to be handed over to Narrator

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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AHEM!

This is truly awful customer service!

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Impatiently -- strides back and takes phone

HELLO!

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Oy. Can't wait for the reviews on this one....

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
AHEM!

This is truly awful customer service!

Hello - oh you again

Just putting you through to - well anyone really.

I mean it is Christmas and half the people are down the pub

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It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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takes the other phone

HELLO! Double HELLO!

Get on with it, man!

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Ah, hello.

Don't know if you remember me? I'm Herod - you know, the one who threatened you with possibly certain death.

You're supposed to be visiting me.

And you're late.

Care to explain?

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(Wise Guy holds up empty hands and smiles)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Who is it CWM?

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Oh! Right! Um, err, kind of you to call and remind us.

Ummm, er, we've been called home on urgent business. I'm sure you'll understand ... you being a responsible monarch and all. Sorry we don't have time to drop by and chat.

Perhaps next time?

Oh, we're already across the border.

Don't be sending any messengers our way, OK? We took care of the last two and there's more where that comes from.

Ta!

presses end

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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<Takes phone from Fairy Godmother>

Please press 1 for Pointless Excuses, 2 for Small Fibs, 3 for Outright Lies and 666 for The Beast.

Thank you for calling Southern Rail Customer Services.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Our would-be host, Two. So glad you shared that dream with us. He doesn't sound very hospitable.

Well, we can relax now. We're almost home.

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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<Places phone in the wine bucket>

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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[Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

This is getting better and better....

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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He hung up on me?

He hung up on me?

Child-killing can wait.

I have some very stupid astronomers to kill in nasty ways.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Herod? That old wind bag. He can rant as much as he likes, but there's no way he can find out where we are. We don't even know where we are so he's got no hope.

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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WHERE IS MY FRICKING HENCHMAN?!

I'm getting rather ticked off.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Camera perspective: in the sky over the border between Palestine and Ur. Sky swarms with Osage SDF fighter craft, patrolling the border against any untoward and unfriendly action. Speak softly and carry a big stick.

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[Fade-in to bus. CWM, WM2, Phil and Wise Guy are standing in Circle of Power (TM). A faint light is glowing in the midst. They raise their hands as a keening, sound swells in crescendo]

Herod's such a nasty guy
Herod needs to slowly die
So we're hexing him, this we see
He's gonna die from STD's

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
Herod? That old wind bag. He can rant as much as he likes, but there's no way he can find out where we are. We don't even know where we are so he's got no hope.

Can't you read - in a courtyard of a large large palace in Palestine

(men) [brick wall]

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Unless he tagged us with a tracer before we left...

(pales, begins slapping at clothing.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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And why's there a "love-wagon" on my lawn?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[fingers in ears with eyes closed]I don't HEAR you! na-na-mumble-blah-mumble-nah-nah!

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
Herod? That old wind bag. He can rant as much as he likes, but there's no way he can find out where we are. We don't even know where we are so he's got no hope.

Can't you read - in a courtyard of a large large palace in Palestine

(men) [brick wall]

? I thought we got morphed somewhere else after that.

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Gets up, walks outside and knocks on the bus's window>

Excuse me. You're parked on my geraniums.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
I thought we got morphed somewhere else after that.

We've already established your track record in that area, though, haven't we?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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( Surreptitiously takes a big knock of pilfered saki)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
I thought we got morphed somewhere else after that.

We've already established your track record in that area, though, haven't we?
*Climbs out of bus and stands next to Herod - realised that he's rather short in real life*

Them's not geraniums - nastursiums more like
and weeds

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It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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I am NOT short!

<Herod's eye twitches>

Anyway. You're fat.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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<It's celebrity smackdown time again>

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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( slings arm around FG.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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( on second thought...better leave her arms free...)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Er... Wise Guy, I recognise you from somewhere.

Is this your bus?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
I am NOT short!

<Herod's eye twitches>

Anyway. You're fat.

Not - just underheight for my weight

You'd better go to some anger maintenance classes - you've an aggressive height compensation problem you need to deal with

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
WHERE IS MY FRICKING HENCHMAN?!

I'm getting rather ticked off.

May I be of service?

A

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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SOUND OF TAPPING ON DOOR TO BUS WASHROOM...

Hello? hello? Anyone there? The door's stuck.

And how did I get here? Must have been last night - knew I shouldn't have drunk so much...

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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<Perhaps the wise men can make their escape while FG and I distract Herod>

Nasty Herod was very short
And, although we are not heightist,
We all love to laugh at him -
'Cus he's not scary in the slightest.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Why yes, you may.

This blancmange with wings is not amusing me.

Do something with it.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Wanna make something of it, story-boy?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Quick guys, it doesn't take a genius to realise we should leg it.

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Er... Wise Guy, I recognise you from somewhere.

Is this your bus?

(GOD, iam so stupid!Shit, shit, shit!)

Er... que dice? no lo entiendo. Solo estoy un pequeno tour guide.

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Why yes, you may.

This blancmange with wings is not amusing me.

Do something with it.

Oooh blanchmange - is that all you can insult me with you undersized squirt

Maybe your mother didn't give you enough cuddles or did she get out the phot album each time you brought a girl home and showed them pictures of you in nappies...you really have problems

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Wanna make something of it, story-boy?

I've got the rest of the script and a bottle of Tippex, and I'm not afraid to use it.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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the angel summons up all her evilness (considerable) and gives the fairy godmother the nastiest look she can. . . .

F**k off!

she does

A

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
Quick guys, it doesn't take a genius to realise we should leg it.

Yeah, who had that gizmo that sent us off into space?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
I've got the rest of the script and a bottle of Tippex, and I'm not afraid to use it.

I can ad-lib.

Now... where do I know this wise guy from?

<Think, think, think>

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Angel 1:
the angel summons up all her evilness (considerable) and gives the fairy godmother the nastiest look she can. . . .

F**k off!

she does

A

Chance would be a fine thing - but the men around here wouldn't know what to do [Devil]

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Er, didn't you eat all my chocolates?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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