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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route (Page 4)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
I can ad-lib.

We'll have none of that in this show. For a start, the Equity Deputy would want special pay rates for it.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Er, didn't you eat all my chocolates?

Me?

Don't think so.

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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<Sotto voce>

Can't any of the Wise Men at least drive the bus. Any faster than camel pace would out-distance Herod.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Last time I drove the bus I crashed it. Not sure if it's wise for me to try again, but I will if no one else does.

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
Can't any of the Wise Men at least drive the bus. Any faster than camel pace would out-distance Herod.

<Penny drops>

The 'wise' men!

So nice of you to drop by.

Henchman!

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
Last time I drove the bus I crashed it. Not sure if it's wise for me to try again, but I will if no one else does.

I think you should try . . . [Snigger]

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Lo siento, no comprende....

(Wise guy dives back into bus and begins plowing toward the front.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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Go for it WM2.

I'll create cover by use of a Narrative Device (it's what I'm here for).

Now,what sort of Narrative devic?

I know - the completely blank page (first used in Tristram Shandy).

That should render you invisible and you can get out of the courtyard without being seen.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
Can't any of the Wise Men at least drive the bus. Any faster than camel pace would out-distance Herod.

<Penny drops>

The 'wise' men!

So nice of you to drop by.

Henchman!

No good shouting - you need to ask nicely. People will respect you more if you ask nicely

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Please F*** off.

Thanks.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Oh, crap. Please beat me to it, WG2.

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Please F*** off.

Thanks.

sure I said that already.

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Wise Man 2 turns ignition key and with some encouragement the engine sputters into life

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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It worked - a blank post.

Now head for the hills, Wise Men.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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bye bye wise men!

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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WHEEEEE!

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Please F*** off.

Thanks.

And swearing shows a limited vocabulary - for a king that's quite abysmal

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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the tour bus screaches across courtyard showering all and sundry with gravel, Wise Man 2 drives it through the gate (smashing the gate as he does so) and into the streets of suburban Jerusalem

Anyone know the quickest way out of the city?

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 1

Nativity Play
# 3661

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bye bye wise men!

--------------------
Jenny Ann smiles sweetly

Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
the tour bus screaches across courtyard showering all and sundry with gravel, Wise Man 2 drives it through the gate (smashing the gate as he does so) and into the streets of suburban Jerusalem

Anyone know the quickest way out of the city?

[Killing me]

Is our tour bus black with a red stripe?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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I hate to point this out, but didn't we have Imperial fighters after us a few pages back?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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LESS MUFFLED SOUNDS ON WASHROOM DOOR

Will someone please GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! [brick wall] [brick wall]

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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No. You just have very active imaginations.

(fools)

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
I hate to point this out, but didn't we have Imperial fighters after us a few pages back?

I think they got bored and went in search of Sadam Hussein

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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Now, Herod. Any more trouble and the next Narrative Device will be Flashback, and you'll find yourself bed-wetting again.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Sigh.

(Being the soft touch he is, wise guy opens washroom door.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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THUMP! CRASH!

D'oh! It's no good. Where's the Fairy Godmother when you need her??

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Guys, there's something making an odd noise back there. Can you check it out?

Hang on, sharp left turn coming up!

Wise Man 2 steers the bus round the turn mounting the pavement/sidewalk (delete as appropriate depending on which side of the Atlantic you are) and smashing through a load of market stalls. Spotting the city gates ahead he puts his foot hard on the accelerator and speeds out of the city ...

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Who the hell are you?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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CLATTER! **Dep Shep tumbles out of coach washroom on to the bus floor**

Arrgh! Errrr, thanks! Where am I? Who are you? [Ultra confused]

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
THUMP! CRASH!

D'oh! It's no good. Where's the Fairy Godmother when you need her??

Oh hell - who called me now and what am I doing in a loo with shepherd?

For goodness sake man - the door is open. If some wise man can open it the surely an intelligent...

Did anyone ever tell you you've got beautiful blue eyes?

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
CLATTER! **Dep Shep tumbles out of coach washroom on to the bus floor**

Arrgh! Errrr, thanks! Where am I? Who are you? [Ultra confused]

Apparently someone in need of a compass....

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Herod's phone rings

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(notices intimate scene in progress. Shut door in embarassment

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Hello?

Herod the Benevolent and Really Rather Tall speaking.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Pick up the phone and hang it up again!

Then take it off the hook!

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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(It's my phone you idiot. How did you get this part?)

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(oh boy. Just ignore me.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Speaking into phone
Hi Boss, it's me, the Evil Henchman.

Holds phone away from ear for five minutes. Starts speaking again.
I'm showing ini..ini...doing things off my own bat like you told me to. You said we gotta stop the wise men, and kill them. SO i set up road blocks on all the major routes out of the city. And all the border crossings are shut. The border guards are spread along the line, with orders to shoot to disable anything trying to cross. There's no way they'll get away from us.

Yes boss.

I'm coming right back boss. In the helicopter boss.

Hangs up, climbs into the 'copter, and off it flies.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:

Did anyone ever tell you you've got beautiful blue eyes?

Well, one eye is blue... But I'm not fussy

Notices washroom door has closed again...

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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If this works, I'll think about forgiving you.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:

Did anyone ever tell you you've got beautiful blue eyes?

Well, one eye is blue... But I'm not fussy

Notices washroom door has closed again...

Ummm - we appear to be locked in again

Would you like me to magic you out? or... [Embarrassed]

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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Fairy Godmother!! [Eek!] [Eek!] [Eek!] [Help]

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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When did Toulouse get a helicoptor?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Helicopter lands, Evil henchman climbs out and runs across to Herod.

Sir! Reporting back sir!

These wisemen sir? How shall we kill them? There's oil and teacle in the kitchens, plenty of thumbscrews, spikes and pokers in the torture chambers, and a shed load of guns in the armoury. We got baseball bats and steel rods in the sports centre, plus potions and poisons in the turret. Anything more? Anyone more you wnat to kill?

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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The tour bus races east along the nice new highway built between Jerusalem and Babylon, with all the hills laid low and valleys filled in.

We're clear of the city now, nothing to stop us between here and Babylon.

Wait a minute, is that a helicopter I hear?

Helicopter flies beside the road heading towards Jerusalem

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Ah, balls...
(jerks door open again.)
No time for spoonig! The Scooby Gang's in big trouble!

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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We should use a potato peeler to strip off their skin and then pickle them.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
Ah, balls...
(jerks door open again.)
No time for spoonig! The Scooby Gang's in big trouble!

*Falls out on top of Wise Guy*

Bu**er

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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