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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route (Page 5)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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screech of brakes as Wise Man 2 sees a road block ahead

Guys, they've set up road blocks. Any suggestions?

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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We need some Bibbity bop and Fast!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Phone rings. Answers it.

Yes. Yes. Oh really? Towards Babylon you say. I'll alert the guard patrols around that area. Yes, I am on my way. I will ask the king whether he wants to come too. Meet you there.

Hangs up.

King Herod? The wise men have been spotted on the main road from here to Babylon. There's a helicopter round the back ready to take us there, would you like to come and supervise their capture personally?

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
We need some Bibbity bop and Fast!

II've told you once and I won't say i again - I don't do bibbity bobbity - I'm not Disney

GEDDIT????

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It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
screech of brakes as Wise Man 2 sees a road block ahead

**Fairy godmother is thrown to the back of the bus, where Deputy Chief Shepherd has crawled, exhausted

Arrgh...! Not again! [Love]

[ 22. December 2002, 17:27: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Right - to the 'copter!

You piloting, henchman?

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Unless by an extraordinary stroke of luck those guards are even more clueless than we are they must have seen us by now. We've got to get moving.

Wise Man 2 spots a very rough looking side road ahead running parallel to the border and takes it. The racing bus raises a cloud of dust behind it

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
screech of brakes as Wise Man 2 sees a road block ahead

**Fairy godmother is thrown to the back of the bus, where Deputy Chief Shepherd has crawled, exhausted

Arrgh...! Not again! [Love]

At least I got my priorities straight, you tramp!

[ 22. December 2002, 17:32: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
screech of brakes as Wise Man 2 sees a road block ahead

**Fairy godmother is thrown to the back of the bus, where Deputy Chief Shepherd has crawled, exhausted

Arrgh...! Not again! [Love]

Hello, fancy meeting you here.
[Love]

[ 22. December 2002, 17:33: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
At least I got my priorities straight, you tramp!

It's you they're after, not us!

To FG:

You remind me of someone? My nanny? [Big Grin]

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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
At least I got my priorities straight, you tramp!

It's you they're after, not us!

To FG:

You remind me of someone? My nanny? [Big Grin]

I've been a nanny in my time - yes but I don't remember you.

You've lovely hair you know - can I run my fingers through it?

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(turnign to WG2)
I guess it's up to us to sort this out. Why am I suddenly terrified?

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Evil Henchman signals to the pilot to take flight, and head for the last known co-ordinates. Five minutes later, has a brief radio conversation with the chief guard who spotted the bozos (wise men), and so tells the pilot to alter course. Talks to King Herod via the intercom:

Sir, the wisemen appear to be taking a sheep trail that runs parallel to the border for a while. My men are trailing them, until we arrive. What the wise men don't realise is that the trail heads directly away from the border in a while, and eventually ends at the coast! They have no escape.

Henchman grins and begins to sharpen her dagger.

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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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To FG

Hang on, hang on- I've just re-read the script. It says here that the Fairy Godmother is immortal, not immoral. So gerrof.

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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
To FG

Hang on, hang on- I've just re-read the script. It says here that the Fairy Godmother is immortal, not immoral. So gerrof.

Nope - that's a typing error [Snigger]

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It could only be Nanny Ogg

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Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Herod starts to grin at the thought of impending death>

#We three kings of Orient are
About to get whacked with a massive steel bar.
With cuts and bruises,
(While Jesus snoozes)
We'll end up on yonder star.

O-oh, star of wonder, star of light,
We've ended up here, cos we lost a fight.
It's hard to breath, we're starting to leave
This life for the endless night.#

This'll teach em to hang up on me...

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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This road is beginning to look very much like a sheep track. You in the back look like a shepherd - where does this road go? And do you know a way off it that crosses the border?

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(are their any sheep on the sheep trail?) [Smile]

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Hearing talk of sheep wakes up Sheep 3, who had crawled into the bus last night for a nap and found Herod's dressing room quite empty.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

--------------------
jlg the sheep

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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil the Wise Guy walks out of a stateroom, adjusting his robe, he takes in the chaos around him.

"Awww, sheezit! I go away for a few minutes of R&R with my lapdancers and what do I find? Gimme dat phone!"

He grabs the cell phone and dials a number.

"Yeah, it's me, I-- who? Who else pays your salary, you moron? Now look; we got dose mooks from Herod on our ass, and I want 'em gone, pronto! We're in da big tour bus, it's--what? DERE'S ONLY ONE TOUR BUS DRIVIN' TROO PALESTINE RIGHT NOW, MORON, AND IT AIN'T DA POPE! Yeah, finally! Look, you get some boys down here toot-sweet and you ice dese clowns, got it? For your sake I hope so!"

Phil closes the phone.

"OK, we got help on da way, we just gotta stay alive until my boys get here, and den Herod's gonna have a lil' .45 caliber 'attitude adjustment'...."

--------------------
So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Woke up this morning...got myself a gun....

How's it look out there, Twoie? We getting away?

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Hearing talk of sheep wakes up Sheep 3, who had crawled into the bus last night for a nap and found Herod's dressing room quite empty.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Innocent and Naive. Just like I like 'em

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Deputy Chief Shepherd

Nativity Play
# 3698

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quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Nope - that's a typing error [Snigger]

You read your script and I'll read mine, thank you! [Yipee]

Did someone say they need a shepherd?

--------------------
Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.

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Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Evil Henchman looks out the windscreen, catches sight of a speck in the distance surrounded by a cloud of dust. They are gradually gaining on it. She points it out to Herod.

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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Joseph

Nativity Play
# 3666

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Wonders what all the noise outside the stable is. Looks outside.

Watches bus zoom past.

Weird.


--------------------
Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.

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Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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This road seems to be turning away from the border. At this rate we'll be at the coast. Anyone know someone with a boat?

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
"OK, we got help on da way, we just gotta stay alive until my boys get here, and den Herod's gonna have a lil' .45 caliber 'attitude adjustment'...."

*Looks at Shepherd, looks at Phil, looks back at shepherd*

Gosh - the choices a girl has to make [Wink]

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Ooh... is that our bus?

Do we have anything we can drop on it?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Passer-by 3

Nativity Play
# 3711

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[Enters stage left carrying coracle on back. Exits stage left contiinuing to carry aforementioned coracle]

--------------------
(W)

Posts: 30 | From: The Wings | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Wait I've got an idea!
Gun it, Twoie!
Trust me! Tell me when you've reached the coast!

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
and den Herod's gonna have a lil' .45 caliber 'attitude adjustment'...."

Noticing helicopter approaching from behind
I don't mind too much about attitude adjustment, some altitude adjustment would be nice just about now.

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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"Look, I dunno about youse guys, I got my job from my godfadduh, but you don't put da time into da job like I did widdout you learn sumpin, capisce?

It ain't da best-made magic, but dis might woik."

Phil grabs a pinch of wool from the stumbling Sheep 3, yanks the brassiere from a squaling lap dancer, the beer from Chief Wise Man's hand and drops them into an upturned sombrero.

Keying his cell phone to play "Sorcerer's Apprentice" ring tone, he waves it over the mix, as he intones:

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Herod's a moron
And his henchman is too,
Eeny meenie minie mere,
Get dis bus outta here."

--------------------
So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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You're readin' my mind, dude!
Are we there yet?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(I was talikg to WG 2 up there. Trust me, this'll be great.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Rummages around at back on helicopter. Hands a bazooka out to Herod. Brings a box of rockets and a box of sticky grenades back to the seats. Explains:

Rockets push into the bazooka like so. Aim, and pull the trigger. Oh, make sure it's resting on something, otherwise... you know? Ok.

Make sure you hold sticky grenades by the neck, and pull pin, then lob. Don't wnat them stuck to you.

Helicopter is within aiming distance now (just!) so Henchman lobs the first grenade at the tour bus.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Wise Man 2 catches sight of sun reflecting off the sea infront

Ummm, we're running out of road. Hope this bus has been modified by Q or we're getting wet ...

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Rummages around at back on helicopter. Hands a bazooka out to Herod. Brings a box of rockets and a box of sticky grenades back to the seats. Explains:

Rockets push into the bazooka like so. Aim, and pull the trigger. Oh, make sure it's resting on something, otherwise... you know? Ok.

Make sure you hold sticky grenades by the neck, and pull pin, then lob. Don't wnat them stuck to you.

Helicopter is within aiming distance now (just!) so Henchman lobs the first grenade at the tour bus.

Lets gues - any minute now they're going to expect me to bibbity bobbity boo something ro other

And I'm here with my shepherd [Love]

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Ah, hell with it...

(Reaches past WG2 to push red and pink stripey button he noticed on dashboard. Didn't anyone else? Matching stripey wings begin to unfurl from side of bus to tune of "Chitty Chitty Bang bang"

PUNCH IT!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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...but hold that thought, FG.

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Takes aim... Fires!>

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Muhahaha

This is fun.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Woooah. That's really something.
Sees helicopter recede in rear mirror as the flying tour bus accelerates away.

Guys, I'm not a pilot. How do I steer? We're heading back to France again at the moment.

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Bank! Bank!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
Bank! Bank!

They're closed - it's Christmas

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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As Phil's spell takes effect, the air around the bus shimmers, sparkles, and suddenly the bus disappears with a SCREAM of earthly matter being ripped into another dimension....

Herod's henchman stares at the now bus-less road in disbelief....

...with a blastwave of displaced air, the tour reappears...exactly eighteen feet ahead of where it was, still travelling on the same vector.

Phil drops his head in his heads. "Damn, it woiked on dose Feds last time!"

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Er...

That bus is flying.

Tell me I'm not seeing things.

Have you got guns fitted on this thing?

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Take your feet off the accellerator and tilt the wheel!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Wise Guy, you seem to know how to do this. Can you take over?

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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So did we fly into another dimension?

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
So did we fly into another dimension?

No. That was just you.

Are you currenly on any medication, by any chance?

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Take over? Why sure!

(Puts on aviator hood/goggles) Shove aside!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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