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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route (Page 6)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Angrily yanks throttle.

Damn stupid pilot.

Brings dagger very close to pilot's throat:

Fly faster fool.

Turns to Herod:

If you sit here your majesty, you'll be able to aim and fire the machine gun which is mounted on the front. Here's the lever to aim, and here's the button to fire.

Points bazooka out the window, and fires.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3, wishing she had stayed in the stable, scrambles around looking for a safe place to hide.]

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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CWM opens eyes and removes fingers from ears. Mutters:

Is that blithering Fairy Good-for-nothing Mother and that Mad Monarch gone now?

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Fires machine gun, peppering the bus with holes>

Muhahahaha!

Muhahahahahahaha!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(To Herod)

I was listening to Phil! Why are you eavedropping, anyway?

(Tilts upward and climbs)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
CWM opens eyes and removes fingers from ears. Mutters:

Is that blithering Fairy Good-for-nothing Mother and that Mad Monarch gone now?

You called?

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[...and of course, the usual reaction to terror]

*sheep plop*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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"OK, time to take a more direct role heah."

Phil jogs to the back of the bus, stands on the seat, and punches open the rear roof hatch.

"OK you guys, start passin' me stuff to t'row at him! Gimme all da bottles, books, anyt'ing nice and solid I heave into dere blades!"

--------------------
So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(Heading toward sea...deftly manuevering Herod's slings and arrows.)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Thanks Wise Guy. You really didn't want a guy suffering from vertigo flying this thing. I'll just huddle in the corner and pretend we're on the ground.

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Ooh, look!

It's the one with the gangster-delusions.

<To Henchman>

10 points to the first one to hit him.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Use the sheep plop [Yipee] ! The Lord has provided!

And stand by to pull inside...I have a plan....

(chomps cigar in best imitation of George Peppard.)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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A steady stream of detritus streams from the bus, smacking into and spattering the helicopter's windscreen.

One particularly well-aimed gobbet of fresh sheep plop hits Herod directly on the cheek.

The helicopter's main shaft, nose and skids are now liberally decorated with plastic Hawaiian leis, toilet paper streamers, party streamers and various spangly lingerie from the lapdancers.

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(As castline comes in sight...)

Stand by, Phil!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
One particularly well-aimed gobbet of fresh sheep plop hits Herod directly on the cheek.

Now it's personal.

<Fires guns>

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Ooh, look.

It's the one with the gangster delusions.

<To Henchman>

10 points to the first to hit him.

*Leans out of tour bus/plane window*

Oi shorty - you don't have to say everything twice you know, we get the picture.

Good grief that man has serious problems

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Phil , you RULE!!!

(we are now about 50 meters out over the sea. Wise Guy leans forward on whell into a nosedive. Reaches for another button.)

DUCK,Phil!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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(Phil yells to Wise Guy)

Make it quick! We've slowed 'em some, da Henchman got leid, but I'm just about outta plop! Here, hand me dat sheep! Time for direct fire!"

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil ducks!

--------------------
So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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EVERYBODY IN!
(Reaches again for button. The others, dammit, have responed to the cry and dove into thier seats. At the press of a gren any yellow sripey button, the bus slams watertight with sheeting on all sides, and the craft plunges into the sea, A periscope emerges from the driver's seat area.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
Phil ducks!

Quack Quack

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(Breathes a sigh of relief and lowers parascope in case Herod gets any funny ideas.)

Ok, where to?

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Reluctantly:

Sir, we must break off pursuit, they've gone underwater, and we can't follow them.

Opens pilot's door, and pushes him out. A loooong scream drifts up as she shuts the door again, gets into the pilot's seat, and turns the 'copter around.

It was his fault. Stupid little idiot wouldn't fly any faster.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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I totally misspelled periscope, didn't I

(To Sheep three)Come, let me hold you...

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Hey, after all that, I should at least Get the Sheep....

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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I want you to know,

I'm Not Happy.

At All.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Hands a handkerchief to Herod as they fly back. Mutters:

Pick up some plebs along the way. Need someone to torture.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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So, Twoie? What were you saying about France, earlier?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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"See? I told youse guys a plot complication was gonna show up! Did anyone believe me? NooOOOOoo! Well, anyways, at least we're safe for a while here. Herod'll never realize he's got a navy."

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
Hey, after all that, I should at least Get the Sheep....

Amd I have my shepherd

*looks at bundle of odd clothes that seems to be snoring gently* [Love]

--------------------
It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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We could be nice and go get that guy that just fell out of the 'copter.

(Glances back for reaction.)

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Wipes cheeks>

<Not those cheeks. Mind out of the gutter, peoples.>

In fact, I'm soooo Not Happy, I think I should do something incredibly evil.

Hmmm... let me think.

I have a pretender-to-my-throne of which to dispose, but I can't find him.

What to do... what to do...

[ 22. December 2002, 18:45: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
"... Herod'll never realize he's got a navy."

SHUT...UP!

[ 22. December 2002, 18:46: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
Hey, after all that, I should at least Get the Sheep....

[Sheep 3 looks panicky and decides to remain silent while looking for a place to hide.]

*tiptoe, tiptoe*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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[Frown]

Feet of clay, little sheep.

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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So I guess the pilot is toast, huh?

And is this about it for the Wise Men, or have we got more to do?

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil grabs Sheep 3 and tucks it under his arm, points its rear end at Wise Guy.

"Wise up buddy! I've got a sheep and I'm not afraid to use it!"

--------------------
So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 sharpens the edges of her hooves by rubbing them against an exposed strut.]

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Dude, where's your sense of romance?

(Gently takes sheep from Phil's arms)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Hmmmm. Perhaps you could take out an advert in the papers, asking for the parents to contact you cause they've won something?

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Yeeeus...

Not entirely sure that'll work.

And it certainly won't make me any less pissed off.

Next!

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 slashes WG with her hooves as he attempts to take her from Phil]

Baaaaaaaa.

*whomp*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Staggering, Phil drops Sheep 3 which "baaaa-aaahs" and scampers away down the aisle.

"Sorry, I'm lactose intolerant and alla that cheese we got from Herod's wackin' me out."

He looks out the window.

"Don't worry about the pilot; looks like some Oklahoma troopers are picking him up."

--------------------
So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Umm, okay boss.

Well maybe you could find some shepherds and interrogate them til they say where that damn stable is? Cause I've been there - I followed them. But it was all twisty, and I won't be able to find my way back there again. They could guide us?

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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In fiction, as in life, I can't get a break.

(sigh)\

Well, ther's always Rudolph. The critic said we had some sparks flying....

--------------------
KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Have you tried talking to shepherds?

I think not.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Angel 6

Nativity Play
# 3709

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Angel 6, who despises long, pointless chase scenes, once again picks up Flaming Sword. With it, said Angel cuts Herodcopter in two, directs idiot-magi bus over the border and into the proper dimension, and then rescues Sheep 3 from massively idiotic plot complication.

Here, Sheep, old pal -- have a drink. I suspect you could use one.

Come to think of it, so could I.

How about you, Stable Cat?

Pours a round of eggnog -- with extra nog (rum tonight) -- per tutti.

--------------------
Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic

Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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I guesss not.

Ok, this is a real humdinger. We know the kid was born quite recently. And the parents can't have moved with it.

So how about we kill all the babies in Bethlehem under, say, a year? Unless someone gives the couple up to us? Hell, we'll kill the babies anyway, but just not say that. That'll guarantee that no one in Bethlehem will shelter the little tyke.

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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(Angel 6 is obviously lagging. Angels are fools.)

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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