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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Cancer SUCKS
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
YaY Twilight ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
Such good news.
Martin, I've had breast, cervical and uterine cancer scares. At no time could anyone have accused me of having a stiff upper lip, and although I'm a bit embarrassed about that I would probably react in the same way again.
I am just thankful for remaining relatively healthy and having had loving friends who have supported me through those times, and the compassionate medical staff I encountered.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
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Posted
My friend Debbie is being torn apart watching cancer tear her father's last days or weeks apart. Metastases everywhere.
Please God may the end come soon.
And fuck you so very much, cancer.
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Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Thanks for the posts. Lost lots to this. Thinking of them. In no particular order. 1988 best friend. 2011 best friend. 1996 uncle. 1968 grandmother. 2007 mother in law.
Daughter has flown home for a bit. We spent some time in the cemetery which holds many of them. I weirdly like cemeteries. They are comforting.
I should hear something by end of next week. Not going to church. Too much noise there. Better is contemplative quiet. Pandemonium is the capital city of Hell in Paradise Lost. I didn't understand until just now.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
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Posted
No Prophet......., prayers continuing during your vigil.
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Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
Fuck you, cancer, for taking the life of a four-year old boy at the school I'm a governor at. For making a family go through all that apin and grief and see someone they must have so many hopes and dreams for taken from them in such a cruel manner - just fuck you.
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif) ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
Ma Mad Cat has a tumour in her right lung. This after a mastectomy 8 years ago (apparently unrelated).
The radiotherapy left her with little appetite, labarynthitis and generally debilitated. The chemo started a month ago, and seemed manageable until last week: it's knackered her blood, and as a result she's had shingles on top of the labarynth-shite-is.
I've decided the tumour will be called the Donald, and that it will fuck the fuck off by being destroyed by mad fucking chemicals.
Yes, that's how this is going to work. Fuck you, the Donald. Fuck you very much.
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
So they don't know what it is. Default: gastritis. Risk for further abnormalities. Just watch it.
So it is B.S. Like the prostate and bowel B.S. I've had scares for before. The stomach one comes closer to home as this clearly runs in the family tree.
So I have a softer version of:
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
They "saw something?" See, that makes me mad. They told you they saw something but they wont tell you exactly what for awhile. They should have just pretended total ignorance until the results come back. Jeeze.
Which dear Twilight I found nicely insightful and helpful. They saw something, on examination it's a little weird, and they want to keep looking at it. Medical porn voyeurs they are! Next time they tell me nothing but clear liquids before "The Procedure" I shall ask if beer and gin are included.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
I am in FINE company. The finest.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
You are, it's true.
While my dad actually died of pancreatic cancer, he could have died of DVT (twice in his last 20 years), pulmonary embolism (once, 15 years before he died), prostate cancer ('watched' for the last 15 years) or a torn aortic valve (barely hanging on for the last 20 years), or falling off a cliff (10 years before: a well-placed tree saved him).
We've all got to go of something, mate. I was coming back from Parkrun on Saturday morning - a nice healthy activity - and was almost run over on a Zebra crossing. That would have been ironic.
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Thanks Doc.
Mad Cat. Are you Pa?
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
No, I'm offspring.
Pa is doing his best to pretend everything's okay. My job is to allow everyone to acknowledge that everything, or, scratch that, lots of things, are shite and in no way okay. I'm working the Job look, and sitting on the ashes cackling.
Aha. Behold the shiteness.
[ 24. November 2016, 18:48: Message edited by: Mad Cat ]
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Ken is the act to follow for me. A bloody hard one.
I don't want you to follow it Martin. I know that is me being selfish.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Cat:
No, I'm offspring.
Pa is doing his best to pretend everything's okay. My job is to allow everyone to acknowledge that everything, or, scratch that, lots of things, are shite and in no way okay. I'm working the Job look, and sitting on the ashes cackling.
Aha. Behold the shiteness.
You're 'just' being a good son. Who do you have? Apart from us in the dark? My trouble is I behold my own.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Ken is the act to follow for me. A bloody hard one.
I don't want you to follow it Martin. I know that is me being selfish.
That is embarrassingly nice.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
Funeral is over.
Mum died with grace and peace.
We have mourned her and honoured her.
And it was good.
And on behalf of our friends, our family and I,
screw you cancer.
You failed.
You did not destroy mum.
She died, but with integrity, poise and love.
And it is good.
My prayers for our shippies.
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Patdys
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
She died, but with integrity, poise and love.
That's such a blessing, both for her and for you and your last memories.
![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
You did not destroy mum.
She died, but with integrity, poise and love.
And it is good.
What an amazing woman.
for the family and friends she left behind.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
Some optimistic theologian once suggested that for every pain there will come an equal and opposite blessing. If there is a blessing on its way to counter chemo-induced anxiety and brain fog, it is far over-effing-due.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Found out at the weekend that, just when we thought he was out of the woods after pneumonia in December, my 86-year old father has an untreatable tumour on his oesophagus. The timing just seems to make it feel all the more sickening. I know he's got to go of something sometime, but...
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Hello darkness my old friend ...
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Hello darkness my old friend ...
Not over
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Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
There are sometimes some little nuggets in the darkness. Like "don't buy any green bananas" said by Earl who loved bananas to his wife who didn't eat bananas. And no, Earl wasn't alive long enough after that to eat them if she'd bought them green. She died this week. I have tell my father who knew them both for 65 years (he's 90). Who I took to have more bits of him carved off and sent for pathology. Is it squamous or melanoma. Which I took rather seriously, until he mentioned that Melanoma was trumpy's wife, and we both laughed and laughed and settled that trumpy was bleeding bowel cancer. (probably you had to be there...)
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jamat:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Hello darkness my old friend ...
Not over
Thanks Jamat ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I'd love to splurge all, but I don't want to piss anybody off or worse depress them I've probably done both right there!
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Hello darkness my old friend ...
Probably said this before somewhere, but I try to convince myself and anyone else who'll listen that this thing is an adventure; not a journey. We didn't ask for it, we didn't plan it and we sure as hell didn't buy the ticket. We don't know where it's going or how it will end. That's more adventure than journey by my reckoning. So we curse, we pray and we hang on. I find the cursing particularly helpful; clears the mind ready for the praying.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
We've all got to go of something, mate. I was coming back from Parkrun on Saturday morning - a nice healthy activity - and was almost run over on a Zebra crossing. That would have been ironic.
After my colon cancer worries were all gone, I went to the dentist for a routine root canal and, just as he was finishing up I had an allergic reaction known as an angioedema. My lips swelled to the size of lemons, the pressure turned my nose straight up, and the whole area from nose to under the chin turned a solid, matt black. My dentist told me to go home and apply ice then return three hours later to finish the root canal. Only after I returned, much worse, did he send me to the hospital where they all flew around, giving me shots and saying they never saw anything quite like it. They said my blood pressure was well over 200 and that people die from this if the swelling reaches their throat. I should never have been home alone for those 3 hours.
Anyway, after staying in hiding for a month I'm fairly normal now, but for a bit there, I looked like I was turning into a Rottweiler.
We just don't ever know what's around the corner. I know it made me go right off my diet.
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Prayers for Martin
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Hello darkness my old friend ...
Probably said this before somewhere, but I try to convince myself and anyone else who'll listen that this thing is an adventure; not a journey. We didn't ask for it, we didn't plan it and we sure as hell didn't buy the ticket. We don't know where it's going or how it will end. That's more adventure than journey by my reckoning. So we curse, we pray and we hang on. I find the cursing particularly helpful; clears the mind ready for the praying.
It was worth repeating ST. Thanks.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Twilight, thank you. You've been through the wars!
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Tracked down my same-aged cousin today, who is in palliative care with metastasized ovarian cancer. She has been estranged from family since the mid-1990s. I was moved to call all of the hospitals and located her on the first call! My thought was "why not", the worst is that she would hang up or eff me off. None of the above. Talked for more than an hour. She is "being made comfortable" she said. We will hopefully talk again in 2 days. Shades of my best friend who died 7 years ago - yes, of cancer. We agreed to talk in 2 days, but he had the temerity to die instead. (Still a little piqued at that boy!) What was I thinking to say "2 days"?! I'll call tomorrow I think.
No-one will be with when she dies, can I activate her siblings? Should I go? It's 2 plane rides and about 6 hours to fly. Bloody big country!
She filled me on the estrangement, about which I'd had only the other side. Maybe it will be possible to have her talk to her sibs, my cousins? Time is short, though not having talked to her myself for almost 8 years, I didn't ask about the prediction for when to die.
What a thin edge to walk on, what a cliff face below.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
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Posted
For caring and trying
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Have I opened Pandora's Box? Her brother is going to call. They have only argued in the past 30 years. I an either creating additional hell or trying to bring light. Don't know which.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
Talked for more than an hour.
No-one will be with when she dies, can I activate her siblings? Should I go? It's 2 plane rides and about 6 hours to fly. Bloody big country!
She filled me on the estrangement, about which I'd had only the other side. Maybe it will be possible to have her talk to her sibs, my cousins? Time is short, though not having talked to her myself for almost 8 years, I didn't ask about the prediction for when to die.
What a thin edge to walk on, what a cliff face below.
What's the latest?
For what it's worth, I think you did good, calling and alerting the sibs.
I probably wouldn't make that flight. My sister-in-law has been in her last stages of cancer for almost a year now. She went off all chemo and prepared everyone to her dying in "a few weeks," last May. The odd thing is that, although she gets along well with her family, she didn't want any of her eleven siblings to visit and asked that they don't call or e-mail. She designated one sister to impart occasional progress reports. I don't get it and it's a little hurtful to my husband who considers her his closest sibling in the big family, but I guess she has her reasons. Point being, physical, bedside company isn't what everyone wants. Maybe just keep calling?
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
Some optimistic theologian once suggested that for every pain there will come an equal and opposite blessing. If there is a blessing on its way to counter chemo-induced anxiety and brain fog, it is far over-effing-due.
Repeat. I want my old brain back. It may not be a very good one, but it's the only one I ever had, and they don't give out replacements.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
Some optimistic theologian once suggested that for every pain there will come an equal and opposite blessing. If there is a blessing on its way to counter chemo-induced anxiety and brain fog, it is far over-effing-due.
Repeat. I want my old brain back. It may not be a very good one, but it's the only one I ever had, and they don't give out replacements.
That theologian was a shithead. And a Pollyanna. You have my deepest sympathy. I don't, yet, have cancer, so I can't sympathise with your exact situation, but about ten years ago I started gestating something and much the same thing happened. Of course many far more immediately obvious changes in my person and my life have ensued as a result, but it's my old brain I miss the most, and after a decade, I'm pretty sure it's not coming back. Is the joy of a child an equal and opposite blessing? No.
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Update on cousin. She died about 12 hours ago. The estrangement from her family ebbed and flowed over the last month. Did what I could. Very tired today.
I don't like the arranging of a post-death email and facebook. But perhaps she is more modern than I.
Ovarian cancer is apparently a sneaky thing. And a nasty thing.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
I have not been a regular reader of this thread, but I have wondered during the past few weeks whether I'd be joining it! I have had confirmation today that a small breast lump shows ddefinite signs of cancer. I had mammogram, ultra-sound and biopsies two weeks ago. The grade and level are low and I am to take tablets - some kind of hormone I think - for three mnonths and then they will see how things are. I had a lumpectomy on the same side 30 years ago, and, well, I'm still here and very fit, so I'll just keep on tap dancing to keep up the fitness!
A close relative has been having multi chemo-therapies during the past year, but he retains a positive and philosophical attitude.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
P.S. I have now read all the posts on this page. No prayers from me of course( ), but lots of sympathetic thoughts ...
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
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Posted
My best wishes SusanDoris
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
Thank you, done.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
Oh dear, just noticed the lack of an o!!
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
I thought you were just finished with your thank yous, Susan Doris. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
I've has three, "looks like cancer," breast biopsies that weren't anything much. I'll be hoping yours are the same. Remember no doctor wants to be charged with missing something, so they err on the side of over caution. Anything odd they want to take out and look at, after awhile, in my case, they were taking out and looking at scar tissue from the last time. Heh.
Fingers crossed.
[ 04. May 2017, 14:53: Message edited by: Twilight ]
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
[twilight
Thank you! I have started taking Letrozole, so hope it works at containing and/or reducing the lump.
At tap class this morning, they all gave me a hug so I needed the extra tissues I had with me, but after that we had an active, fun hour of dancing, then went off for a coffee as usual.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
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Posted
Friends like those are priceless ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
SusanDoris x
Well, the second outing, or inning, of the BBC Inside Broadcasting Unit on Monday was 10x less traumatic as it just wasn't as unexpected. I still gabbled at the high point. Nothing new there. CT to follow up in some weeks.
But TODAY! Today it's Edward II all over again. They'll hear me in Berkeley Castle. I'm not just talking THE EXAMINATION, but a Mars Rover biopsy UP THE ARI/E/S!
They're going about all this arse backwards if you ask me.
A tad unintegrated, but they mean well.
[ 11. May 2017, 10:05: Message edited by: Martin60 ]
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Sodding Moby Dick! 12 harpoons UP THE ARSE! You bastards. I've got to blame someone. I know how one of that pair of chocolate rabbits feels now.
Curiosity x Pequod
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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