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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Difficult relatives
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
In other news, Kelley Alves's mother has become a sort of home companion to me. I can't take a shower without thinking about her. I try to find explanations for her. I turn the shower head around various ways, thinking maybe it drips when it's down and doesn't when it's up. I won't go in to the toilet paper issue.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed that you didn't go into the toilet paper issue.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Twilght's investment in the issue touches my heart, it really does.
I finally asked mom about the matter. Tacking it on to another brand new issue. I had bought a bottle of face soap and put it in the medicine cabinet. It was a good five inches away from everything else on the shelf-- meaning it took up no space to speak of, and did nothing alter the arrangement of her stuff. Still, this acquisition of three centimeters on my part so offended her that she got a bunch of travel samples all around the new bottle, so that I could not get it out without knocking everything over. Shoulda got a picture.
I went directly to her room and let her know, in the most pleasant tone I could muster, that I had put the bazillion travel bottles back where they had come from, as I couldn't see the current arrangement doing anything other than making a big mess. She backed off of that, but while I had her, i asked what was going on with the shower head.
It turned out she had turned it off and couldn't figure out how to turn it on. Most normal people would have simply asked for help, but my mom hates asking me for help-- she has actually stated, in her mind I should be noticing these things on her own , why should she have to ask? ( and yes, I have tried just being hyper alert and noticing everything, but it doesn't work, and she gets a lot more pleasure out of finding something I have missed than any help I give. )
Polite requests for help is something my mother only gives men. The women in her life either get orders barked at them, wordless finger snapping and pointing*, or expectations of mind reading.
So, in her mind, the way to solve the problem is to do a bunch of things with the shower-head that cause inconvenience to me so that I will somehow have a revelation about the stuck lever. If I do not discern this , she has just cause to carry a grudge and escalate the matter.
" Mom, you know you could have just asked me to take a look at it."
( Shrug. Glower.)
* At this point I turn and walk off. I will not be snapped at. Sis has picked up the same habit. WTF?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
Turn the shower head on when you take a shower, and then turn it back off again when you get out. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I don't even touch the fucking thing. It's a detachable hand held component to a stationary showerhead that works fine, so I can cheerfully pretend the stupid thing doesn't exist, unless I have, you know, a use for it.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Friend's mother has just about made it impossible for me to enjoy our local fete tomorrow. If I get to collect him early enough to come back to it as well, she won't have enough time to sleep tonight (She follows Eastern Standard time, though being just less than a degree west of Greenwich). If I collect him later after seeing it myself, she says he won't be back in time for her, by midnight, as she has to go somewhere on Sunday. And Sunday is therefore out for us to meet, as well. So I will get to his a bit later, and she will then take an hour to feed him, and when we get back, all the cakes will have been sold.
My friend also has to see his friend who has been stitched up by a business partner about the latest developments. (I have heard the Biblical phrase "I was a stranger and ye took me in" misused of situations like his.) This does have some importance and shouldn't be hurried, cakes or no cakes. But it could be done earlier, if...
I am comforting myself with the thought that she is getting very old and fitting in with her is fair enough at the end of her life.
But she has been like this since 1983. To my knowledge. I am told since before that.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
An 86, 93 and 84 year old. The 86 year old is my parent-child. They are in a senior apartment building. They sit together at supper. They conspire. The building is downtown, close to the river and parks. I received a call this evening about my father's conduct in the gang of three.
Pigeons. The three of them got together and bought sling shots, and one of them also got a pellet gun. They won't say who. They have been hunting pigeons on the balconies. My father has been cutting the breast meat off the pigeons and the three of them are eating them. There is nothing wrong with the food there. They just wanted to get rid of annoying birds and , it turns out, my father regaled them with stories of eating them when he was a boy during WW2.
What can I say? Bloody hell! Threatened with eviction. Threatened with police. The sling shots and pellet gun are confiscated. The management are accepting the idea that the three of them will sign a paper that acknowledges the problem and not to do it again.
On a lighter note, my father also bought a haircutting kit and thought he would cut his hair in the mirror. We are getting that fixed tomorrow.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Damn.
That is one cool story.
Maybe you can send Dad and his homies over here to help us with our Canada goose problem.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Maybe you can send Dad and his homies over here to help us with our Canada goose problem.
I think we'd all support a goose thinning.
The townies in Palo Alto are complaining about crows lately. I don't mind them at all.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Maybe you can send Dad and his homies over here to help us with our Canada goose problem.
I think we'd all support a goose thinning.
The townies in Palo Alto are complaining about crows lately. I don't mind them at all.
Yeah, we've got Canada geese here, also white-winged doves. Management sets out drugged corn for the geese, then bags them and disposes of them after they've fallen into beddie-bye.
But I'd gladly welcome your father to help me shoot the doves, which are completely out of control. Sounds like he could help me cook them too!
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
they cooked the pigeon meat? please tell me they cooked it??
Weird secrets ... I'll never forget being a child of 7 who hadn't realised I wasn't supposed to tell my father that my eldest sister was leaving home. That paralyzing 'rabbit in the headlights' thing.
And all the random secrecy of being told not to tell A that B had visited.
All I chant these days is, don't play the game. Just, don't play the game.
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by basso:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Maybe you can send Dad and his homies over here to help us with our Canada goose problem.
I think we'd all support a goose thinning.
I say goose fattening is better. Lots of yummy foie gras. Serves the buggers right.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I'm with you SS - foie gras. mmmm
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
We didn't get into the culinary part of the pigeon hunt. I have to remain fully annoyed and showing considerable umbridge. Like one does when 8 year olds have shoftlifted. I arranged his accommodation and pay for it and like a parent am being held to account for the kid's misbehaviour. I want to say things like "didn't you bring me up better than this?" WTF!
On the geese, I think a spring and summer goose hunt might be in order, but please not from your balcony!
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
We have a groundhog or three that would probably make a great pie. Send 'em on over.
Apparently a groundhog has some glands that have to be removed before you cook the beastie. Otherwise the result is inedible.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
We didn't get into the culinary part of the pigeon hunt. I have to remain fully annoyed and showing considerable umbridge. Like one does when 8 year olds have shoftlifted. I arranged his accommodation and pay for it and like a parent am being held to account for the kid's misbehaviour. I want to say things like "didn't you bring me up better than this?" WTF!
On the geese, I think a spring and summer goose hunt might be in order, but please not from your balcony!
More and more I find myself using my teacher voice with my mom. Used to be a guaranteed four hour furious rebuttal, but now she just rolls her eyes at me like a junior high kid in the principal's office.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
I recommend behavioural reconditioning.
[ 12. July 2014, 19:47: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
I owe an apology to friend's mother who was lovely yesterday, no delaying tactics, and compliments on my clothes. Unpredictable.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
I do worry that city birds have lived badly and acquired diseases or parasites, or dined on poisoned rats. (Probably not pigeons, however.) But these sound like enterprising oldsters! There is many a polity who would pay them for their service.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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tessaB
Shipmate
# 8533
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Posted
Mother was moaning about virtually the last two friends she still talks to. Seems they had the unmitigated gall to invite her over for afternoon tea ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
'They just don't understand how much I have to do. I have all the paper work to sort out for my tax!' Me- Oh I thought you had an accountant for that? Mother 'Of course I do but I still have to get the papers together for them. My friends at least have sons who can help them' Me- Why don't you put all your year end statements into one file then you can just pick up the file and give it to the accountant? Mother 'Well of course that's what I do. I'm not completely doolally you know.'
So she effectively has no paperwork to do, and is resentfull that she has no son to do that lack of paperwork, just a useless daughter and is upset that her friends don't understand how difficult her life is ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
I was very proud of myself for not rising to the bait.
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tessaB
eating chocolate to the glory of God
Holiday cottage near Rye
Posts: 1068 | From: U.K. | Registered: Sep 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
That's why we are here, Tessa, to serve your esprit d'escalier needs.
(Is that the right phrase? Something you wish you could have said but didn't say?)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Well, it means a comment that you only THOUGHT OF later on. On the staircase, after you've left and it's too late and go work off your snappy retort onto the person you were aggravated with. If you are merely biting your tongue, you are polite, or diplomatic, or something.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
STOP SHOUTING.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Compliments of my mother (who I may have mentioned before on this thread) I have a question for you: Innocently thoughtless or deliberately offensive?
This week I had a birthday. I'm not that bothered about birthdays but it would have been nice to receive a card from my parents. Instead I received a manila envelope which contained a screwed up fiver and an unsigned compliments slip of my mothers.
So innocently thoughtless or deliberately offensive? Being me I hope the former and believe the latter.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
'Dear Mama, thank you for the money you sent me to buy a birthday card. I spent it on cheap booze/gave it to the first beggar I passed/offered a votive to Our Lady of Knock*'
*delete as appropriate
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
So innocently thoughtless or deliberately offensive? Being me I hope the former and believe the latter.
Given the stories you've told, I'm gonna go with, "That's pretty fucked up." I think she has just officially given you permission to change you phone number.
So, here's one from several years ago-- i hadn't got my AA yet, was working for peanuts in the school media lab, and Christmas rolled around. My mom had asked me what clothes I needed. I let her know I needed sweaters and long sleeved tees, winter stuff. She asked me what colors I liked.
"Oh, you know-- our pallette. Jewel tones and stuff." ( I actually thought this was an odd question-- if you asked her what Kelly's favorite color was, she would answer with a shrug and a sniff, is my bet, but we once went to a makeup class and got our colors done, and since then she'd made a point to occasionally remind me that I had " her" pallette, especially when I wore a color she didn't like. So, given how much she'd harped on it, I was confused that she was asking. By the way, for those who are into these things, I am a "winter.")
"Give me specific colors, " she snapped.
"Blue and violet always works."
"How about green?"
"Yeah, green might make a good change -- like an emerald green."
"Red?"
"Yeah, red is ok, a cooler red. You know the pallette."
All of a sudden she gave a sharp sigh and said, "Is there any color you don't like?" ( this turned out to be her real question.)
" I'm not a big beige fan."
Come Christmas morning, a pile of boxes awaited me, and I lookedforward to having alternatives to my scruffy student clothes. You guessed it- box after box I opened was something the color of sand or clay. The one exception was a long sleeved tee in a really ugly yellow green. Just to heighten the effect, she had gotten my sister duplicates of everything I had in gorgeous, rich colors, and made a point to gush over how lovely the color looked on her.
To me she said, " I don't know, I just had this vision of you in an all beige wardrobe."
The genius thing about this stunt is we had a room full of relatives and if I responded with anything other than glee, she could ding me on ingratitude. Naturally she made me thank her over and over again.
And when I returned everything a few days later-- except for one quite nice eggshell sweater which luckily she decided was beige-- she immediately got on the phone to Sis and lamented about how hard I was to please.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mrs Shrew
Ship's Mother
# 8635
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Posted
Kelly - that really is fucked up.
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"The goal of life is not to make other people in your own image, it is to understand that they, too, are in God's image" (Orfeo)
Was "mummyfrances".
Posts: 703 | From: York, England | Registered: Oct 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
All of a sudden she gave a sharp sigh and said, "Is there any color you don't like?" ( this turned out to be her real question.)
Reminds me of something my mother said once on one of my visits back home.
We had gone out in the car to the local market to pick up a few items for lunch -- hamburger, potato salad, etc. Very nice so far.
In the car on the way back to the house, my mother asked in her innocent voice, "Do you like ketchup on your hamburger?" Foolishly I replied in the affirmative.
"Well, we'll have to go back, then!" she suddenly snapped.
But my mother never even began to rise (or stoop?) to the level of those terrorist mothers described on this thread.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Don't you just hate the innocent voice?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I know some people with slingshots who could help straighten out mommy. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I know this is hell, but I for one am not comfortable with, nor will I join in with, jokes about physically harming the relatives we are bitching about.
Anyway, I figure Mom's her own karma. Her inner monologue must look like a script from a film about Abu Ghirab.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I, too, am a Winter, and for years my mother bought me beige clothes. She would always say, before handing over the beige item "I've noticed you never wear beige / eau de nil / banana yellow so I've bought you this so that you can ring the changes." Or "I know you'd never buy this colour for yourself, so I decided I'd treat you."
I tried pointing out that, by the age of 30 +, if I liked a colour I could buy it for myself, but that didn't work. So I tried another tack, and gave her one beige outfit back on the grounds that I had no shoes to wear with it, my shoes all being black / red / purple / shocking pink.
Yup, you've guessed it - I got the beige outfit back, together with a £60 pair of beige shoes.
![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif)
I had a friend who liked those sorts of colours and was happy to take them, or I gave them to the charity shop.
The beige thing ended round about my 40th birthday. Now she gives me clothes in a size too big, and when I say "But, Mum, I'm not a size x" she replies "Aren't you? You look like a size x"
Every Christmas she buys me a multipack of knickers in a size too big. But she also buys the North East Man a multipack of too-small underpants. I cannot face telling my mother that my husband is not "extra small" as far as underpants go. It's just not going to happen.
(The underpant reasoning appears to be because my brother takes a size 11 in shoes, but my husband is a size 7. Mum then extrapolates that if my husband's feet are four sizes smaller, his underpants must be likewise four sizes smaller. Which makes my husband "extra small." )
(ETA - I don't feel hellish about this, the weirdly sized underwear has become a family Christmas tradition which my kids enjoy, though Mum is oblivious to the fact we find it funny.)
[ 18. July 2014, 19:04: Message edited by: North East Quine ]
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Paisana.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
In the interests of fairness, this is (yet another) communication problem. Mum is very generous, and the large passion-killer knickers are part of a larger array of gifts at Christmas. I don't know what Mum hears when I say "I don't buy myself beige clothes because I don't like beige" or "I'm not a size X" but whatever she's hearing, it's not what I'm saying.
Another example - we were given a hideous vase as a wedding present, by someone who didn't know us well, and whom we knew would never visit us. The hideous vase stayed in its box, in a cupboard, for eight years, when we sold it through the small ads, to clear some cupboard space. We got £20 for it.
Mum found out (she was there when the buyer phoned) and was horrified that we were "reduced" to selling our wedding presents. (She knew that we had never taken the vase out of its box, so she ought to have realised we didn't like it. Plus we said we were selling it because we would never use it.) She hunted down a replacement vase for us, not identical, but also hideous. It cost her £50 to replace the vase we'd sold for £20. The replacement vase sits in our cupboard to this day. It's still in its box.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Mum then extrapolates that if my husband's feet are four sizes smaller, his underpants must be likewise four sizes smaller.
Mum apparently doesn't realize that that formula applies to the size of something else.
Miss Amanda will get her wrap.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Mum then extrapolates that if my husband's feet are four sizes smaller, his underpants must be likewise four sizes smaller.
Mum apparently doesn't realize that that formula applies to the size of something else.
Miss Amanda will get her wrap.
I know, I know. This is not a conversation I am ever going to have with my mother.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Mum then extrapolates that if my husband's feet are four sizes smaller, his underpants must be likewise four sizes smaller.
Mum apparently doesn't realize that that formula applies to the size of something else.
Miss Amanda will get her wrap.
I wasn't gonna say anything but there is a subtle connection, I think...
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Well, I am no expert, but my mate Google says otherwise.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Just to heighten the effect, she had gotten my sister duplicates of everything I had in gorgeous, rich colors, and made a point to gush over how lovely the color looked on her.
Are you sure she can actually tell you apart? In her mind, I mean. You and your sister might just be in a generic "other people who are not the centre of the universe" category.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Trust me, this was not my sister's fault. Given a different whim, she might just as well have dogged her on Christmas Day. But part of her strategy is to pull her stunts in ways that pit us against each other-- you can't be the center of the universe if two people in it present a united front. I have been working with Sis on this, and it has helped somewhat.
Oh ans Sis is blonde and blue eyed, but that doesn't really negate your comment, come to think of it.
[ 19. July 2014, 07:49: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Well, I am no expert, but my mate Google says otherwise.
I hate to discredit the enormous amount of research that armies of intrepid folk must have put into this, but the formula is to subtract 3 from the shoe size -- not that the size of the you-know-what equals the shoe size.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Well, I am no expert, but my mate Google says otherwise.
I hate to discredit the enormous amount of research that armies of intrepid folk must have put into this, but the formula is to subtract 3 from the shoe size -- not that the size of the you-know-what equals the shoe size.
I wear size 46 shoes. Form a queue.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Miss Amanda will be catty and assume you're talking millimeters.
Meanwhile, back at the thread . . . my 94-year-old father has just gone into assisted living and nothing suits him. When they come go give him his shower, it's at the wrong time. When they come to give him his meds, the dosage is wrong (it isn't). At mealtime the vegetables aren't cooked well enough. He can't find any of his clothes because he doesn't know where we put them away when we moved him in. Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch!
[ 19. July 2014, 15:24: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
When they come go give him his shower, it's at the wrong time.
Well, of course not. Left to themselves, a lot of people tend to want to shower at about the same time. If they all need help from care staff to shower, they have to wait their turn.
It's like living in digs with a single shared bathroom and a bathroom rota, except that the thing that is shared is the bath assistant rather than the bathroom.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Miss Amanda will be catty and assume you're talking millimeters.
Heeheeheeheehee
quote:
Meanwhile, back at the thread . . . my 94-year-old father has just gone into assisted living and nothing suits him. When they come go give him his shower, it's at the wrong time. When they come to give him his meds, the dosage is wrong (it isn't). At mealtime the vegetables aren't cooked well enough. He can't find any of his clothes because he doesn't know where we put them away when we moved him in. Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch!
My grandma started up a torrid romance with the guy down the hall within months of moving to assisted living. I guess that's better than kvetching.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Meanwhile, back at the thread . . . my 94-year-old father has just gone into assisted living and nothing suits him. When they come go give him his shower, it's at the wrong time. When they come to give him his meds, the dosage is wrong (it isn't). At mealtime the vegetables aren't cooked well enough. He can't find any of his clothes because he doesn't know where we put them away when we moved him in. Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch!
Sounds exactly like my father during the first weeks of his stay at assisted living. He solved two of the problems by taking his clothes out of the closet (imagine finding them in there!) and hanging them on the shower curtain rod so that he "couldn't" take showers anymore.
Before long he was kicked out altogether for threatening to "go home and get his gun" because one of the other men was bragging and showing off for the ladies. I guess he thought only he should be doing that. He's never owned a gun and didn't have a car to travel in, but I expect they were looking for any excuse to expel him at that point.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
My mom spend her entire first year in assisted living complaining and paranoid that the staff were going to do terrible things while she slept. She said horrible things to the staff-- snapped at them, talked terrible to them-- which was very uncharacteristic of her up until then. She refused to put her condo on the market because she was sure she'd be returning to it soon, even as she absolutely refused to cooperate with the medical treatment plans that would have made that a slim possibility.
After about a year of this, I went to visit her one day, and she dramatically announced that she needed to talk with me about something. Steeling myself for the worst, I sat down. She proceeded to tell me that God had told her she was going to spend the rest of her life there, and she'd better make the best of it. So she'd made a list of things she wanted me to bring her from her condo before we sold it. I happily complied. That was the last complaint I heard from her. From then on, she was her old self-- complimenting the staff, thanking them for their help, asking them about their lives and their kids, etc. In return, they loved her and took very good care of her until the end.
So, on a less hellish note, there may be hope-- for some anyway. I think having to go into even the nicest assisted living facility is a huge loss for anyone. It takes a long time to adjust to and mourn that loss. It takes time to accept the inevitable. During which time you can be a real b****.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
This week I had a birthday. I'm not that bothered about birthdays but it would have been nice to receive a card from my parents. Instead I received a manila envelope which contained a screwed up fiver and an unsigned compliments slip of my mothers.
Save the fiver. You now know what to send her for her birthday.
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Nice. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Cliffdweller, what a lady! ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
When I first started reading your post I thought that she must have had one (or more) of those small strokes that can send people's personalities over the edge. That she eventually reached such self-insight and made her own life and those around her happier is a real tribute to her true character.
May light perpetual shine upon her.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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