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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Difficult relatives
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
If you're going to be within hailing distance, why not drop in to your sister's house and leave off some really extravagant pressies (nice wine, maybe some smoked salmon or something of that ilk), while you're on your way to your friend's house?
Heaping her head with coals of fire, and all that ... ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
A better option would be one of those large floral arrangements, planted up with bulbs and decked with seasonal greenery. A really large one. With a prominent card saying 'Merry Christmas! From Cottontail'.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
I don't. But then again I have no relatives. (Well, there are a few cousins, but I wouldn't know them if they walked in the door right now -- haven't seen any of them in decades.)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
I don't. But then again I have no relatives. (Well, there are a few cousins, but I wouldn't know them if they walked in the door right now -- haven't seen any of them in decades.)
Ooh. You have secret bat-shit crazy relatives!
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
I don't. But then again I have no relatives. (Well, there are a few cousins, but I wouldn't know them if they walked in the door right now -- haven't seen any of them in decades.)
Ooh. You have secret bat-shit crazy relatives!
Probably -- but at least they can't ruin my Christmas!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
I think my whole family is batshit crazy, but in a not very difficult way. Of course living in a different country helps :-p
(My grandad is probably the most difficult, or as we say, bloody minded and awkward. But he's opted to spend Christmas on his own this year, despite the fact that my parents, my cousin, my sister and his friends would all be happy to have him and live within fairly easy travelling distance)
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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese
Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Maybe the best way to avoid having batshit crazy relatives is the batshit crazy relative to be ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Evangeline
Shipmate
# 7002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
If you're going to be within hailing distance, why not drop in to your sister's house and leave off some really extravagant pressies (nice wine, maybe some smoked salmon or something of that ilk), while you're on your way to your friend's house?
Heaping her head with coals of fire, and all that ...
A better option would be one of those large floral arrangements, planted up with bulbs and decked with seasonal greenery. A really large one. With a prominent card saying 'Merry Christmas! From Cottontail'.
Maybe a card table and folding chair?
Posts: 2871 | From: "A capsule of modernity afloat in a wild sea" | Registered: May 2004
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
They've died.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
None of near family's craziness is of a kind that makes personal interactions traumatic. We're introverts. We prefer to inflict our craziness upon our own psyches.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
Can I just check? Is there any one who doesn't have a difficult relative? And when I say 'difficult' I do mean 'bat-shit crazy'.
They've died.
And instantly I think of the other meaning. Is that bad of me?
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
There's another meaning ?
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
I can't think of anyone in even our extended family who is batshit-crazy. Anyone resembling that is scared off, one way or another. We have a share of oddballs who just don't get it, and a very few who try to stir discord, only to become the laughingstock.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
My DR is not bat-shit crazy. Just difficult. And is arrving today. And that's quite enough...
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
We didn't have one in our family until my sister-in-law married one. Unfortunately despite them now being divorced he's still involved enough in their daughter's life for his BS crazy to affect various family members. We are not direct recipients, just frustrated at a distance about the difficulties he continues to cause others in our extended family.
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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fullgospel
Shipmate
# 18233
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Posted
This thread is amazing. I thought I was the only one. I wish I had found it years ago.
My family of origin is dysfunctional, though my partner and I have a lovely, quiet enjoyable life together, and I try to protect myself from mine.
E.g. We were staying at my mother's house, while she was seriously ill in the nearby hospital.
The day after she died, I tried to use the phone, but the line was dead.
I rang the phone company and was told, that my sister had had the line discontinued / cut off.
When I saw or spoke to my sister, she brought it up (I was still gobsmacked!).
The rental was due and an the monthly charge would have been incurred if not cut off then. A matter of less than£20 -- not sure how much less, but a lot less than that I think.
This was 5 years ago.
My other siblings, relatives, friends and so on could nt understand it - me neither.
Btw mobile coverage was unreliable where mum lived and no substitute for people wishing to ring in.
Thanks for listening.
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on the one hand - self doubt
on the other, the universe that looks through your eyes - your eyes
Posts: 364 | From: Rubovia | Registered: Sep 2014
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Having been away and out of touch for a few days, I have returned to find that things have moved on in my own particular madhouse. Knowing my sister was visiting my mum last Saturday, I made sure that a bag with their presents in was there so they could pick it up. My sister flatly refused to take anything from me, not only for her and her husband, but for her children as well. Mum was concerned about this, so sent my nephew and niece an email saying it was a pity we (sister and I) were being so silly but was there any time when we could see the kids to exchange presents. Result? My sister rings my mother in a fury for suggesting that we might both be in the wrong, and tries to forbid her to have any contact with the kids (24 and 27) except through her.
Anyway, my nephew rang earlier and I'm taking mum round to him tomorrow morning. With luck my niece will be there as well, and I'm really hoping she will be OK with me. My job at the moment is cheering mum up, and making her laugh about the situation, so I haven't told her that my niece has been a bit funny as well.
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Robert
May I suggest that at 24 and 27 the 'kids' are old enough to plough their own furrow rather than relying on their mother? It certainly seems as if your nephew sees himself as able to have some contact with you without going through his mother and this is to be encouraged.
The next step is to see if he and his sister can't be persuaded to keep in touch with their grandmother independently of their mother: with a bit of luck they'll see how ludicrous it is for young adults of their age to rely on their mama for everything.
Of course, your sister is likely to resent this but so long as you and your mother resolutely refuse to indulge in any conversation about her she can have nothing to complain about.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
Robert
May I suggest that at 24 and 27 the 'kids' are old enough to plough their own furrow rather than relying on their mother? It certainly seems as if your nephew sees himself as able to have some contact with you without going through his mother and this is to be encouraged.
The next step is to see if he and his sister can't be persuaded to keep in touch with their grandmother independently of their mother: with a bit of luck they'll see how ludicrous it is for young adults of their age to rely on their mama for everything.
Of course, your sister is likely to resent this but so long as you and your mother resolutely refuse to indulge in any conversation about her she can have nothing to complain about.
Reading between the lines, it sounds like the nephew has left the family home, either literally or figuratively. He can tell his mother that she doesn't get to run interference on his family relationships as he has the option of putting the phone down, going home or not replying to the email. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) The niece may be still at home. As she has to live with mummy dearest every day, she might just be keeping her head down for a quiet life!
Hoping that things improve in time for Christmas ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
Bat shit crazy. Hmm.
A psychologist, after working with me a while and then asking Mom to come for a session, the next time said with a relieved confidence "you are not crazy, she is." But we were taught Mom was utterly sane and I was clearly not. I believed it, the siblings believed it, and still do.
One of the "crazy" things I do is send gifts to all the nieces and nephews and their spouses and kids. Each sibling wants me to gift only their own kids because "if you send gifts to all the nieces and nephews, we have to do that too." They each want to concentrate on just their own, and want me to concentrate on just their own.
You see the problem. Each side makes no sense to the other.
Yes it would be interesting to hear from both sides who is bat shit crazy! Maybe to them it's us!
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I've got a sib like that: makes pronouncements along the lines of "We've decided we're not going to send presents to each other any more" - which is referring to a decision they've made with another sib (or 2 or 3) that I don't have contact with and a discussion I certainly wasn't aware of and took no part in.
Also well aware that as the only one with children this was likely to have implications for me and my family which they wouldn't face.
In the end I've just carried on sending small token to them and have done my best to make up to my children for their uncles and aunts' unilateral decision not to do the gift thing. Bearing in mind we're the poor relations this hasn't been easy.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
I've got a sib like that: makes pronouncements along the lines of "We've decided we're not going to send presents to each other any more" - which is referring to a decision they've made with another sib (or 2 or 3) that I don't have contact with and a discussion I certainly wasn't aware of and took no part in.
I'm not the only one who gets told "we decided" -- or doesn't get told, and then gets scolded for not knowing what "we" decided?
Wow. Life is more "normal" than I knew! Thanks.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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M.
Ship's Spare Part
# 3291
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Posted
L'organist, since when was it an obligation to send anyone a present? It's lovely of people to send a present but not in any way to be expected.
I can't see anything wrong with a few people from a family deciding not to do the present thing any more. Perhaps they even felt that they were getting a raw deal if they had to buy presents for your children when they had no children to get the equivalent back? (although that's quite a horrid and mercenary way to view it).
M.
[ 24. December 2014, 06:09: Message edited by: M. ]
Posts: 2303 | From: Lurking in Surrey | Registered: Sep 2002
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Belle, I incline to the view that when a professional tells you that you’re ok and the other person is a psycho, you’re allowed to take that as your new working hypothesis unless other evidence arises to the contrary.
(Difficult sort-of-Relative story: Towards the end of his catastrophically ugly first marriage, fiancé en rouge sincerely wondered if there was Something Wrong With Him™ and went to see a shrink. After three or four sessions, she told him, “You don’t need to come and see me anymore. You’re fine. On the other hand, based on what you’ve been telling me, you should make an appointment for your wife.” This is called independent verification that the person is a psycho. And you know what – fifteen years later, she still needs to make that appointment with the shrink.)
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by M.:
I can't see anything wrong with a few people from a family deciding not to do the present thing any more.
I don't buy presents for my nieces and nephews and grand-nieces and grand-newphews -- haven't for years -- on the grounds that (1) they are deluged with presents from parents, uncles and aunts; (2) I have no idea what they would want, and gift cards and/or cash are so impersonal; (3) I really can't afford it.
I expect nothing in return, and am not upset when I get nothing.
I am still included in family gatherings, though, and generally have a good time at same.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by M.:
L'organist, since when was it an obligation to send anyone a present? It's lovely of people to send a present but not in any way to be expected.
I can't see anything wrong with a few people from a family deciding not to do the present thing any more. Perhaps they even felt that they were getting a raw deal if they had to buy presents for your children when they had no children to get the equivalent back? (although that's quite a horrid and mercenary way to view it).
M.
That's probably applying logic to the illogical, but if that's what they've decided they want, why not just go along with it? Better that than feeling resentful about a situation you can't change.
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by la vie en rouge:
Belle, I incline to the view that when a professional tells you that you’re ok and the other person is a psycho, you’re allowed to take that as your new working hypothesis unless other evidence arises to the contrary.
(Difficult sort-of-Relative story: Towards the end of his catastrophically ugly first marriage, fiancé en rouge sincerely wondered if there was Something Wrong With Him™ and went to see a shrink. After three or four sessions, she told him, “You don’t need to come and see me anymore. You’re fine. On the other hand, based on what you’ve been telling me, you should make an appointment for your wife.” This is called independent verification that the person is a psycho. And you know what – fifteen years later, she still needs to make that appointment with the shrink.)
You know, even though I suspect you might be, I hope you're not marrying my husband. Because firstly, that's not legal; secondly I quite like him; but mainly because I wouldn't wish my ex-wife-in-law on anyone!
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I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous - Mike Yaconelli
Posts: 942 | From: North Lincolnshire | Registered: Aug 2003
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Despite it being distinctly un-Hellish, today was a wonderful start to Christmas. This morning I took my mum over to see my nephew and his partner, and my niece came round too. We chatted, laughed and exchanged presents without any sense of strain, or fear of saying the wrong thing. It was lovely. My sister may well be certifiable, but her kids are great!
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Good. Does that mean we can close the thread and get on with our lives?
Merry Christmas everybody.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Hmmm. Are relatives only difficult at Christmas? Given that this thread began in January, and is now on pg 26, I wouldn't get too hopeful.
(Are Hell Hosts allowed luxuries like hope?)
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Despite it being distinctly un-Hellish, today was a wonderful start to Christmas. This morning I took my mum over to see my nephew and his partner, and my niece came round too. We chatted, laughed and exchanged presents without any sense of strain, or fear of saying the wrong thing. It was lovely. My sister may well be certifiable, but her kids are great!
Yay!
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Went to my sister's house for Christmas dinner. Had a lovely time, except that my nephew (her son) doesn't appear to be speaking to me for some reason. He barely looked in my direction the whole time. I think it's because last time I saw him I told him he was gaining weight, and that I didn't mean it as a compliment.
His little girl had a terrible cough -- they really should have stayed home with her -- and I'm afraid she may have coughed in the general direction of the dessert table. I'll be lucky not to come down with a cough -- I'll know in a day or two.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
He barely looked in my direction the whole time. I think it's because last time I saw him I told him he was gaining weight, and that I didn't mean it as a compliment.
You are the difficult relative if you go around telling family members they're gaining weight.
[ 27. December 2014, 20:32: Message edited by: RuthW ]
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
You are the difficult relative if you go around telling family members they're gaining weight.
I wear the title as a badge of honor.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Why, though? Most of us who get told that (it'll be me next week) are more than aware of the fact, and most embarrassed about it. And there's not always a whole lot we can do to alter it.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Yes, it's not like telling someone they've got a piece of broccoli stuck between their teeth, or their skirt tucked into their knickers, or their fly unzipped, or bird droppings on the back of their coat.
People who have gained weight tend to already know that they've gained weight. They don't need to be told.
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
quote:
(it'll be me next week)
You and me both, sister!
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Make that three. But fortunately I have no censorious rellies to comment on the fact. And no friends will do so - because then they would be ex-friends in short order.
Amanda - what, other than undying hostility, did you hope to gain by your remark?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
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Posted
Well, I had a very nice day at the friend's, and then my mother and aunt dropped in unexpectedly on their way home, so that was lovely. I went to see my sister on Boxing Day morning (taking the friend with me), and we had a cup of tea and a pleasant chat. So all is calm. The big present exchange happens tomorrow when my mother is squeezing 13 folks around the kitchen table in her bungalow!
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"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
That's what got me, too-- not the comment itself, so much, as the idea that the subsequent avoidance of the nephew was what was cause for complaint.
As for the kid-- when you saw that she coughed all over the desserts, did you then pick up a slice of dutch apple pie and eat it? If so, 1. Your nephew isn't the only one with food issues, and 2. You made your choice-- enjoy your pie. And your cold.
(Crosspost-- riffing along with Firenze)
[ 27. December 2014, 22:30: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Cottontail:
Well, I had a very nice day at the friend's, and then my mother and aunt dropped in unexpectedly on their way home, so that was lovely. I went to see my sister on Boxing Day morning (taking the friend with me), and we had a cup of tea and a pleasant chat. So all is calm. The big present exchange happens tomorrow when my mother is squeezing 13 folks around the kitchen table in her bungalow!
After that bit if sweetness and light, we are going to expect some truly nasty DISH.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
when you saw that she coughed all over the desserts, did you then pick up a slice of dutch apple pie and eat it?
No, I didn't.
If someone told me I had gained weight, which is true -- I have -- my reaction would be, "I know, and I'm not happy about it, but whattya gonna do?" It would not be, "Well, humph, that's the last time I'll ever speak to you!" If that makes me the difficult relative, then so be it. I don't particularly like that nephew anyway.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
when you saw that she coughed all over the desserts, did you then pick up a slice of dutch apple pie and eat it?
No, I didn't.
If someone told me I had gained weight, which is true -- I have -- my reaction would be, "I know, and I'm not happy about it, but whattya gonna do?" It would not be, "Well, humph, that's the last time I'll ever speak to you!" If that makes me the difficult relative, then so be it. I don't particularly like that nephew anyway.
To be brutally honest-- which apparently is a key virtue with you-- when I read your post re: your behavior at the holiday gathering, it was so over-the-top I actually thought you were trying to be humorous.
I can't imagine getting to this point in life w/o realizing that the vast majority of people in the world don't really appreciate having their weight issues pointed out to them. But then, I can't imagine not realizing that young children are little germ-magnets with far fewer immunities to colds & flus, so that the first few years of life they're pretty much sneezing, sniffling and coughing 24/7-- very hard to schedule any sort of symptom-free outing.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Yes, I just finished watching Philomena. Very good movie, but I did notice that her greatest fear for her long lost son, more than that he might have been killed in Vietnam or be homeless, was that he might be -- gasp -- obese.
Why do people care about other people's number on a scale? Perhaps such interest and concern should be rewarded with the exact weight, cholesterol count, blood pressure numbers and time of last bowel movement.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Well, Miss Amanda is glad she's provided this board with a posting difficult relative to trash. So go ahead, y'all. She'll just sit back and watch.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Which is worse, Nephew's silent treatment or us?
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
If someone told me I had gained weight, which is true -- I have -- my reaction would be, "I know, and I'm not happy about it, but whattya gonna do?" It would not be, "Well, humph, that's the last time I'll ever speak to you!" If that makes me the difficult relative, then so be it. I don't particularly like that nephew anyway.
Well, by this response, you clearly recognize that your original comment was both of no use to the receiver and apt to cause unhappy feelings. So why say it at all? Why ruin someone's family get-together?
It might make some sense if you thought either that he was unaware of the situation, or that there was an easy fix he could take advantage of. But you didn't think either. Which puts the comment in the same class as questions about why niece X isn't pregnant yet, or nephew Y is so slow to get married. Just hurtful.
I go home about once in two years, and these kind of comments are a major reason why. My self-esteem is already in the toilet for other reasons--don't need random relatives dumping on me for my ugliness. (And yes, that's exactly what they mean. It's not a compliment.)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Evangeline
Shipmate
# 7002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
when you saw that she coughed all over the desserts, did you then pick up a slice of dutch apple pie and eat it?
No, I didn't.
If someone told me I had gained weight, which is true -- I have -- my reaction would be, "I know, and I'm not happy about it, but whattya gonna do?" It would not be, "Well, humph, that's the last time I'll ever speak to you!" If that makes me the difficult relative, then so be it. I don't particularly like that nephew anyway.
To be brutally honest-- which apparently is a key virtue with you-- when I read your post re: your behavior at the holiday gathering, it was so over-the-top I actually thought you were trying to be humorous.
I was sure she was joking, I still think maybe (hope?) she is.
Posts: 2871 | From: "A capsule of modernity afloat in a wild sea" | Registered: May 2004
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Miss Amanda--
Are you simply putting on a satiric, catty act? Or did you really do what you said?
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
I don't particularly like that nephew anyway.
And yet, you feel the need to come here and complain about how he didn't talk to you, and attribute a particular cause to why he didn't talk to you.
Maybe he's just figured out that you don't like him and has decided it's not worth his while to spend energy trying to make conversation.
[ 28. December 2014, 05:12: Message edited by: orfeo ]
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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