Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Difficult relatives
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tessaB
Shipmate
# 8533
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Posted
Beloved husband and I are lucky enough to have a holiday cottage near Rye. Told my dear mother today that we would be going down for the weekend and taking son no.1 with us. Mother 'So if I fall and die I should just phone for an ambulance, is that it?' Me 'Yes mother, if you fall and die call an ambulance ' Talk about guilt-tripping! And no, she wasn't joking!
-------------------- tessaB eating chocolate to the glory of God Holiday cottage near Rye
Posts: 1068 | From: U.K. | Registered: Sep 2004
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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909
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Posted
Phoning the ambulance before dying would be more constructive but she probably wasn't in the mood to hear that.
Posts: 761 | From: The Instrumentality of Man | Registered: Aug 2007
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Just lock her in a padded cell for the weekend so she can't fall. Simples.
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by tessaB: Beloved husband and I are lucky enough to have a holiday cottage near Rye. Told my dear mother today that we would be going down for the weekend and taking son no.1 with us. Mother 'So if I fall and die I should just phone for an ambulance, is that it?' Me 'Yes mother, if you fall and die call an ambulance ' Talk about guilt-tripping! And no, she wasn't joking!
My mom and dad used to vacation a lot. In hindsight, I think my mom would get really nervous about actually traveling, and her way of dealing with it was to pick some stupid fight with me or sis, escalate it to Chernobyl levels, then scream stuff like," DO YOU REALIZE I AM GETTING ON A PLANE? DO YOU REALIZE THIS COULD BE THE LAST THING YOU SAY TO ME?"
-------------------- I cannot expect people to believe “ Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.” Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Thanks Kelly. Posts like yours help me find the blessing in my old man's refusal to acknowledge my presence at what looked two weeks ago like Mum's death bed. She's rallied, and it looks like this time his silence around me may be permanent. My worrying about this must be down to my not knowing a blessing if it bites me on the arse.
-------------------- "We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard (so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Macrina: This is more of a grumble than a hell rant but I am sad and frustrated. I emigrated out to live in NZ in July 2013 from the UK and made the move permanent with a residency visa in early March this year. I've been back to see my parents in November last year and would again but for money and difficulty with getting time off work.
My parents now semi retired want to come and see me. Great.
Except they haven't given me any dates and have swung wildly back and forth between September 15 and April 2016 and all places between. I have tried to explain to them that I need dates to book time off work so I can see them and have made several suggestions and done research for them into the cost of accommodation and options to reduce it.
This has all been ignored in favour of booking the holiday around when they can arrange an ad hoc house exchange with another couple in NZ. They nearly managed to book something some 450km away from where I live despite my repeated explanation that this was not practical - luckily I've managed to avert that but they're still swinging on dates.
They were going to come at Christmas which is awesome as there's lots of leave available but now that's all changed under my feet. I explained to them the dates they've most recently suggested don't really work and I can't get time off then but was met with 'well a few hours a day is better than no time at all'. I feel frustrated and sad. I live a long way away and this will probably be my one chance to see them in several years. And I feel selfish too for feeling this way.
Wanting your parents to come at a time where you're able to spend time with them isn't selfish. You may have already tried this, but have you explained it to them in reverse?
Give them some dates that you can do and explain to them that if they can come on those dates, it would be prefect. You want them to come when you can spend more time with them, not when you're grabbing a few hours in the evening here and there as that will be no fun ... And maybe direct them to areas to stay that are easy for you to get to ...
Good luck!
Tubbs
-------------------- "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan: My late mother was always complaining that we didn't come to see her at weekends. Not easy when you're a full-time Minister!
She didn't have any problem with my wife's working hours as a teacher, though.
To visit just on a Saturday meant more than 4 hours of non-relaxing driving each way - we did it few times but it was tiring.
My in-laws, who attend church regularly, still occassionally ask if we're coming to stay over Christmas / Easter or if we can come for a long weekend. And still sound disappointed when we explain we can't because Rev T is working. My parents, who are wedding and funeral church attendees, get it. Ah well ...
Tubbs
PS You going to the BU conference in a few weeks?
-------------------- "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Tubbs: ... You going to the BU conference in a few weeks?
Spend a day with a lot of Baptists? In Peterborough? [ 07. May 2015, 15:42: Message edited by: ExclamationMark ]
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Bullying by exclusion?
(I personally exclude hands-in-the-air charismatics, and doorstep evangelists of whatever persuasion.)
-------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
A few months back, a relative was in hospital. My parents told me what what wrong, I sent cards and a present, my parents kept me updated with her progress.
Now they're saying that she was actually in hospital for something completely unrelated i.e. a mental health issue, as opposed to a physical issue.
WTF did I write on those cards, when I thought she was physically ill? Did I write something inappropriate inadvertently?
What can't families be straightforward? Why all the complicated layers of who knows what about whom?
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Mine did this too. I say "did" because my sister and I have decided that there's no way in hell we're going to carry on that particular family behavior, so we instantly call the other siblings when something comes up and give them the truth. Or at least, if we can' wriggle out of it, the heads-up that "something else is going on, I've been put under oath but you'd better talk to Mom till she tells you" which is just as effective.
After a few years of this Mom seems to be adapting. Somewhat. I hope...
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Doc Tor: Someone has to...
Well yes. It was actually quite fun, but mainly because we spent a lot of time catching up with people Rev T had been at college with. So much so, we missed part of the newbie Ministers bit. Which was why we'd gone for the first time ever
Tubbs [ 27. May 2015, 20:47: Message edited by: Tubbs ]
-------------------- "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Had a sort of showdown with MiL - very hard on her son who was the interpreter - and threatened financial sanctions if she doesn't buck her ideas up. No idea if it will do any good but it did work once a few years ago and over a similar issue.
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
TessaB: quote: Mother 'So if I fall and die I should just phone for an ambulance, is that it?' Me 'Yes mother, if you fall and die call an ambulance [Roll Eyes] ' Talk about guilt-tripping! And no, she wasn't joking!
You could suggest she gets an alarm pendant... and make sure someone other than yourself is the designated person to call if it's triggered, otherwise she'll be pushing the button every time she wants a lightbulb changed. "Well, of course I'd LIKE to be the person they call but it's for emergencies, and if you have an emergency then Jim and Doris next door can get to you faster than I can..."
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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tessaB
Shipmate
# 8533
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Posted
The really stupid thing is that she lives in a flat for over 60's which means that there are already alarms fitted. But she won't use the pendant one because 'I don't think I'm ready for that yet dear!' No mother, at 83 with a dodgy heart and low blood pressure there are years yet before you may need it!!! (tessaB crumples to the ground wailing 'years.....Oh God....years')
-------------------- tessaB eating chocolate to the glory of God Holiday cottage near Rye
Posts: 1068 | From: U.K. | Registered: Sep 2004
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
My m-i-l had one of those pendants. She went out into the side yard to put seed into the bird feeder, and fell. Did she push the button? No. She lay on the walk for two hours until her daughter came home and called an ambulance. She forgot the pendant's existence.
-------------------- Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
Likewise my husband's great aunt had a pendant to call for help in an emergency but didn't wear it, so that when she fell in her bedroom and somehow rolled and trapped herself under the bed she was trapped there for four days before someone found her, very dehydrated and in a very poor state. It was amazing that she recovered. Just having a pendant in the house is no good, you have to wear the thing all the time!
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
My father: 95 years old, unable to walk more than 15 feet or so, legally blind (although he does have some vision), incontinent, cannot bathe or dress himself, but still of sound mind (thank God). Diagnosed with prostate cancer and bladder cancer, both of which seem to be responding to treatment (thank God again).
He's been living in an assisted living facility that recently changed ownership. Ever since the change, the quality of care has gone precipitously downhill. My father constantly complains about the food and the care. All attempts to bring his concerns to the attention of management have met with: "Let us know right away if anything is upsetting you." "So-and-so is upsetting me." "Well, we can't do anything about it -- we're short-staffed right now." Either that or no one is in the office when we go down there.
My sister and I have found another facility that can take him right away and where his care will be immensely better. My sister, a retired nurse practitioner, is familiar with this facility and its reputation and vouches for it.
Trouble is, my father is being stubborn. He has taken a lady friend for himself, and he does not want to leave her (or she him). He's allowing affection to blind him to his physical needs.
We've tried to explain to him that he needs to get his priorities straight, and that if he decides to stay put he'll have to live with the consequences. My sister and I do not want to hear his litany of complaints. We're not going to force him to do anything -- he's still mentally competent and he is, after all, the head of the family (I guess that's the Italian in me talking).
At least we've been able to get him to agree to go look at the new facility. We have an appointment next Monday. My gut feeling is that he isn't going to like it. My sister feels differently.
I guess we'll see. Prayer, please?
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
My nan had one and when she had a big fall she landed at the door to her apartment after going to check the mail. She didn't press it but the couple who found her knew what it was and they pressed it for her.
My mom had insisted that it was a condition for nan to stay in the apartment. She got to where she would talk to the machine saying, "Good morning!" and "Good night!" when she would do the required check ins.
It is sometimes very hard to get these things to be accepted but they can become a real comfort too.
-------------------- Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Miss Amanda? If the place is so bad for everyone, perhaps his lady friend would like to resettle, too. Just a thought.
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Lyda*Rose: perhaps his lady friend would like to resettle, too.
We're working on that. It's between her and her daughter, though.
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
There should be a limit on those pendants, such as 3 calls in a month, and we don't believe you can care for yourself any longer. My sister kept getting calls for our Dear Old Mother via the emergency centre around 3 AM, and developed a friendly/anguished relationship with the local ambulance crews. The DOM is now in a nursing home that she and we all like, but it's another one that suffers from under staffing rather than short staffing.
-------------------- Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
My mother-in-law has one, but as she has dementia she often forgets to wear it and if she had a fall and couldn't get to the phone she might not remember to press the button even if she was wearing it. I wouldn't describe her as difficult, though - the difficulty with her is getting her to tell you what she wants, because she doesn't like arguments.
Tessa, your mother sounds like my grandmother - who was perfectly comfortable with the idea of getting her daughter to do a 15-mile round trip in the middle of the night to change a lightbulb, but refused to call the warden of her sheltered flat even when she really needed help...
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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The Kat in the Hat
Shipmate
# 2557
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Posted
My F-i-L could press the buttons (or pull the cords) in his sheltered accommodation, but couldn't answer when they called to check via the intercom - which meant we would then be called out. At least it was just over the road.
-------------------- Less is more ...
Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2002
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
I've resisted posting on this thread, but today I have to.
I got up this morning and checked my email before running off to work. One there from my sister, whose birthday is the day after mine. It was nice to see her name in my email.
quote:
I’ve been going through some hard times with S. I don’t know if I told you she had a stroke in February?
Umm. No, you didn't tell me. Anything else you've neglected to pass on??
I can't get in touch right now, so I don't know how things really stand, but it sounds like there are some tough times. If I can get my sister to cough up some contact info, I'll be able to find out more, and find a way to get up there to visit.
I'm not the best example of a caring family member in the world, ("what was your part in this, basso?") but this just baffles me.
God, families suck.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
I need to double-post to add the information that S., who had the stroke, is my other sister.
Wasn't very clear about that!
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by basso: I need to double-post to add the information that S., who had the stroke, is my other sister.
Wasn't very clear about that!
Yeah, my brother did the same thing when he suffered a stoke... we found out months later, from an ex of his. Led to some messy complications since he was responsible for mom's financial and legal affairs and suddenly stopped paying all her bills (including those of her assisted living home)-- w/o letting us know (we found out when she was on the verge of eviction). All very very messy. I have a lot of theories re what was going on/behind his reticence/ inability to tell us what was happening, but they're all just speculation, since obviously we're not in his confidence.
-------------------- "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
I have no idea what board would be appropriate to post this on/ process it on, but given the way this thread has veered from the hellish to the heavenly as we griped and cared for one another, perhaps it's the best forum for the very mixed emotions I have right now.
Just learned (from his wife) that my ex husband died this morning. Lots of history, lots of baggage. Neither I nor daughter unit had heard from him in more than a decade. Not sure what I should feel or do feel. Not sure what I want from anyone in response, but just feeling the need to get the news out there, and facebook just doesn't seem like the place.
So. Here it is. Out there.
-------------------- "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
So sorry to hear your news, Cliffdweller.
However long ago it all was, and even if you'd more or less lost touch, this was someone you once cared for enough to make a child together.
Maybe just write it all down to get it out of your system?
-------------------- Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by L'organist: So sorry to hear your news, Cliffdweller.
However long ago it all was, and even if you'd more or less lost touch, this was someone you once cared for enough to make a child together.
Maybe just write it all down to get it out of your system?
That's as good a suggestion as any. I have the weird sensation of the absence of feeling. Talking with my daughter yesterday, it seemed like she was having a similar experience. A bit disorienting. I'll try journalling and see what comes up.
-------------------- "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753
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Posted
cliffdweller -
-------------------- We are punished by our sins, not for them. --Elbert Hubbard
Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
thinking maybe today the eerie absence of feeling is a confirmation that I have forgiven. Hope so anyway.
-------------------- "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by cliffdweller: thinking maybe today the eerie absence of feeling is a confirmation that I have forgiven. Hope so anyway.
It's certainly confirmation that you've moved on.
-------------------- Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Re emergency pendants:
I've seen TV ads for one--Phillips' Lifeline, IIRC--that has an automatic fall alert. Per the ad, the pendant can tell when you've had a fall, rather than getting down on the floor or something, and will automatically alert whoever.
FWIW.
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
I thought for a moment that you were asking for an emergency pedant, and that my moment in the sun had finally arrived.
But no...
-------------------- Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
LOL. I'll put you on my resource list, in case I'm ever in need.
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Zoey
Broken idealist
# 11152
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Posted
My behaviour has just been described as 'slightly obtuse' by the least emotionally intelligent and sensitive living* relative I have. Unfortunately, I don't think estrangement from this relative whilst maintaining some connections to my less fucktardly relatives is possible, which means I'm currently still going for damage limitation rather than estrangement. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHH.
(* Never worked out whether this person or one of my late grandparents would have got the prize for most insensitive and emotional-damgage-causing of my relatives - it was a very close-run thing.)
And now, I shall try to get on with my day ...
-------------------- Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.
Posts: 3095 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Chin up, Zoey.
And you must give the response, to whit: Only slightly obtuse, eh? Memo to self: must try harder
-------------------- Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106
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Posted
Probably too whimsical a question for Hell, really, but if anyone knows how to deal with the constant retelling of the past in a way that has only a tangential relationship with reality, I'd love to know.........
I mean apart from handling the resulting fury and impotence (on my part) via alcohol.
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Patronise the teller ...
"Yes dear, of course you were the one who held us all together - here, have a hob nob - (aside) she really does believe it Phil bless her"
They will be infuriated and you totally undercut their narrative.
Alternatively, assertively converse only on current trivia.
-------------------- All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jemima the 9th: alcohol
Ah, the cause of, and the solution to, all our problems.
L'chaim!
-------------------- Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I violently wrench the topic of conversation to Something Else.
"Yes, dear, that's nice. So what are we having for dinner tonight?"
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
Consider it a dramatic fan fiction and appreciate the art. Feel free to chip in with supporting non factual details that are clearly untrue, but agree with the narrative.
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Palimpsest I wish I had thought of this when my mother was alive. It is brilliant.
Huia
-------------------- Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106
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Posted
Imaginatively evil. Yes I could work with these! Thanks.
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
And then publish. Fiction of this kind can fund your retirement.
-------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Palimpsest: Consider it a dramatic fan fiction and appreciate the art. Feel free to chip in with supporting non factual details that are clearly untrue, but agree with the narrative.
Love. This.
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719
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Posted
So my family are not as bad as nearly all of the ones on this thread, but I need to just say
families
When does a pile of irritating crap, mostly as a result of thoughtlessness, turn into the reason to Have The Family Row That Will End It All.
Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
It depends on the family, Ferijen. In the case of my closest birth family, there is no time to have the row that ends it all because there is never any chance that someone won't come back with another moan/ accusation/ whatever.
There are some of us - you may be one - who may reach a stage where we have to decide on damage limitation, especially if we have children of our own, and cut off contact for the sake of sanity and emotional good health, plus (in my own case) I refused to accept that a family in a constant state of war was better for my young children than no family.
-------------------- Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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