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Source: (consider it) Thread: Fucking Guns
Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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It's Dec. 1 so in theory you all have a new batch of free Post clicks. This is what we have come to: the police offer a training session to ministers about what to do in case of an attack. Among the suggestions -- throw a hymnal at the shooter.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
... throw a hymnal at the shooter.

Does it specify which one? [Devil]

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Jane R
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# 331

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The large print edition, presumably.
Posts: 3954 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
... throw a hymnal at the shooter.

Does it specify which one? [Devil]
Hope it's a lone gunman so you don't need to choose.

Though, if members of your congregation get out guns that'll just spoil everything as hymnals fly everywhere.

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All I want for Christmas is EU

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Brenda Clough
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# 18061

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Stabbing them in the leg with that little pencil that's in the pew racks is also offered. This is where knitting in the pews would do us all good. I could undertake to skewer a grown man right through the brisket with a long straight steel needle.

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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Stabbing them in the leg with that little pencil that's in the pew racks is also offered.

I've never actually seen one of them with a point on it. But I guess you could give the gunman quite a bruise with it.

I prefer the hymnal throwing -- you can keep further away. Maybe churches could keep stacks of worn-out, outdated hymnals for this purpose.

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

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Piglet
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# 11803

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quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
... Maybe churches could keep stacks of worn-out, outdated hymnals for this purpose.

Or better yet, messed-about-with modern ones.

I'll see myself out. [Devil]

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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Saw, in passing, that the not-a-deer shooter is being charged with 2nd degree manslaughter.

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Among the suggestions -- throw a hymnal at the shooter.

I just thought of another concern. Old Mrs. (or Mr.) Jones fussing "Don't throw that hymnal! My grandmother gave that hymnal in memory of her beloved cat!"

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9543 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Only in Arizona -- specifically, only in Phoenix.
quote:
Officers later learned that the man got into an argument with a woman and opened fire at her when she was in a vehicle. The man then accidentally discharged a round into his leg while attempting to hang onto the vehicle as the woman drove off. He was transported to a local hospital in an unknown condition. The relationship between the man and woman is currently unknown.
I'll bet they're no longer friends, though.

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"Stop your noisy songs; I do not want to listen to your praise bands." -- Amos 5:23, Good News Bible (modified)

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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We have a very cool event on the first Saturday in December every year in midtown Detroit. It was this past Saturday. And some idiot 16-year-old (who was arrested either this morning or last night - there was a search at first) closed it down by bringing his gun to an argument with a teenage girl. He shot 4 people; thankfully no one died. But the whole event was shut down. I trust it'll be back as usual next year, but with a stronger police presence.

I'm really glad no self-ordained "good guy with a gun" decided to jump into the fray.

In Detroit, we have a lot of shootings, but mostly between people who know each other, or drive-bys where an innocent person gets hurt by bullets meant for someone else. It's bad enough when that happens in the neighborhoods; but bringing a gun into a heavily crowded event and then pulling it out and using it over a spat? Fucking moron. Injured four teenagers and ruined the night for thousands of people who went from reveling and enjoying concerts and other events to being stuck in a huge clusterfuck of traffic with police lights flashing everywhere, a helicopter with a searchlight flying overhead, and police searching people's cars.

Even when a shooting "only" injures 4 people (and we don't know of other injuries that may have resulted from all the panic and rushing through crowds and closing down venues), it still always hurts a community.

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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How dreadfully sad.

Clearly America is not yet Great again.... [Disappointed]

(In all fairness, it could happen elsewhere, of course, but I'm afraid it's the US of A which seems to be taking the biscuit at the moment).

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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Gamaliel
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# 812

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I know from other sources that there was a school-shooting at one of our US Shipmates's work-places. I won't name them as it's better they tell the story themselves, if they feel able to ...

[Frown]

Mercifully, no-one was killed in this very recent incident but two students are critically injured.

[Votive]

It's a sorry state of affairs.

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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.

http://philthebard.blogspot.com

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Quite able. I mentioned it in All Saints. Technically speaking it was not a school shooting, as the students were not on campus, but ran back to campus to seek help after they were shot. It was apparently the result of an altercation between two groups of people, one of which included (or was comprised of) students from our school, and one of which did not.

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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{{{{{{{mt and all affected}}}}}}}

[Votive]

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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jbohn
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# 8753

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MT - [Votive]

As a school staff member, I can't imagine the trauma this brings to your whole community. Hang in there.

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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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(I know this is Hell, but do we know if mousethief, his colleagues, and students are all OK? And if the injured students are out of danger?)

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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Kyzyl

Ship's dog
# 374

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
(I know this is Hell, but do we know if mousethief, his colleagues, and students are all OK? And if the injured students are out of danger?)

IJ

Not sure of this is MT's situation but this is from an hour ago...
Aztec NM shooting

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I need a quote.

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Kyzyl

Ship's dog
# 374

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Oops, missed edit window. Not MT's situation but yet another fucking school shooting.

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I need a quote.

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
(I know this is Hell, but do we know if mousethief, his colleagues, and students are all OK? And if the injured students are out of danger?)

IJ

The victims are expected to fully recover. I'm fine. There habe been am unusual number of absences the last 2 days since the incident. They have brought in extra counselors for people who want to talk about it, but that's about the extent of it. I expect if this had taken place on campus, things would be a lot more tense.

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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Thanks for the update - glad to hear it.

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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alienfromzog

Ship's Alien
# 5327

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
(I know this is Hell, but do we know if mousethief, his colleagues, and students are all OK? And if the injured students are out of danger?)

IJ

The victims are expected to fully recover. I'm fine. There habe been am unusual number of absences the last 2 days since the incident. They have brought in extra counselors for people who want to talk about it, but that's about the extent of it. I expect if this had taken place on campus, things would be a lot more tense.
So unHellish but, Thank you Jesus. Glad you're doing ok.

AFZ

p.s. FUCKING GUNS!
I wrote on Facebook recently the following:
Remember: guns don't kill, people do.
Coz a guy with a stick shouting 'bang' is just a deadly as the one with a semi-automatic rifle...


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Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]

An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)

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Stejjie
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# 13941

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Reminds me of Eddie Izzard's very apposite quote:
quote:
They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.


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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032

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Like the Eddie Izzard quote. Surely the aphorism should be: guns don't kill people; people with guns kill people.

Kind of seems obvious.

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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!

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Bishops Finger
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# 5430

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But, sadly, not to many Usanians* (and others, of course).

*With all due respect, should that perhaps be Insanians ?

To many of us on this side of the pond, Usanian gun laws do indeed look madder than the maddest thing ever produced by the publishers of Madtown University Press.

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
But, sadly, not to many Usanians* (and others, of course).

*With all due respect, should that perhaps be Insanians ?

To many of us on this side of the pond, Usanian gun laws do indeed look madder than the maddest thing ever produced by the publishers of Madtown University Press.

IJ

To many of us here, they do, too.

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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Golden Key
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# 1468

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quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
But, sadly, not to many Usanians* (and others, of course).

*With all due respect, should that perhaps be Insanians ?

To many of us on this side of the pond, Usanian gun laws do indeed look madder than the maddest thing ever produced by the publishers of Madtown University Press.

IJ

To many of us here, they do, too.
Amen, churchgeek!

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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lilBuddha
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# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Like the Eddie Izzard quote. Surely the aphorism should be: guns don't kill people; people with guns kill people.

Kind of seems obvious.

I like Rob Delany's quote
quote:
Guns don’t kill people. People who say “Guns don’t kill people” kill people. With guns.


--------------------
So goodnight moon, I want the sun
If it's not here soon, I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

- A. N. Parsley, D. Mcvinni

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romanlion
editorial comment
# 10325

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quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Like the Eddie Izzard quote. Surely the aphorism should be: guns don't kill people; people with guns kill people.

Kind of seems obvious.

Follow that logic to it's natural conclusion and surely the aphorism should be: hands don't kill people, people with hands kill people.

Guns, cars, knives, bats, bombs, planes and the like all requiring them...and hands of course needing no implement for the task...

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"You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook" - Harry S. Truman

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Gamaliel
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# 812

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Well, it'd have taken a good while for the Las Vegas shooter to throttle all those people to death ..

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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.

http://philthebard.blogspot.com

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Gamaliel
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# 812

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Can I ask a question, romanlion?

Where you born stupid or did you become that way?

--------------------
Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.

http://philthebard.blogspot.com

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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748

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quote:
Originally posted by romanlion:
Follow that logic to it's natural conclusion and surely the aphorism should be: hands don't kill people, people with hands kill people.

Or in your case, the hand you're not using to wank with.

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Forward the New Republic

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RooK

1 of 6
# 1852

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quote:
Originally trolled by romanlion:
[wanking sounds]

I give that troll a 2.5. Below even romanlion's usually poor standard. The usual lack of logic or insight, but without even any hint of style or panache.
Posts: 15170 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
romanlion
editorial comment
# 10325

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Because quoting Rob Delaney is so clever and stylish?

[Disappointed]

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"You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook" - Harry S. Truman

Posts: 1405 | From: White Rose City | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by romanlion:
quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Like the Eddie Izzard quote. Surely the aphorism should be: guns don't kill people; people with guns kill people.

Kind of seems obvious.

Follow that logic to it's natural conclusion and surely the aphorism should be: hands don't kill people, people with hands kill people.

Guns, cars, knives, bats, bombs, planes and the like all requiring them...and hands of course needing no implement for the task...

You claim to be following logic. And you are. It's just that you didn't marry it with an ounce of practical sense.

Yes, okay, wet lettuces don't kill people. People with wet lettuces kill people. Or at least they try to. Very slowly. While their victims just stand there asking why.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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romanlion
editorial comment
# 10325

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by romanlion:
quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
Like the Eddie Izzard quote. Surely the aphorism should be: guns don't kill people; people with guns kill people.

Kind of seems obvious.

Follow that logic to it's natural conclusion and surely the aphorism should be: hands don't kill people, people with hands kill people.

Guns, cars, knives, bats, bombs, planes and the like all requiring them...and hands of course needing no implement for the task...

You claim to be following logic. And you are. It's just that you didn't marry it with an ounce of practical sense.

Yes, okay, wet lettuces don't kill people. People with wet lettuces kill people. Or at least they try to. Very slowly. While their victims just stand there asking why.

Unless there are statistics on wet lettuce murders, that would be a false equivalence.

--------------------
"You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook" - Harry S. Truman

Posts: 1405 | From: White Rose City | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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Do have statistics on mass murders by people using just their hands?

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All I want for Christmas is EU

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romanlion
editorial comment
# 10325

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quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Do have statistics on mass murders by people using just their hands?

I don't, but I also don't recall posting anything about "mass" murders.

In a technical sense Jonestown come to mind though...

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"You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook" - Harry S. Truman

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by romanlion:
Unless there are statistics on wet lettuce murders, that would be a false equivalence.

There are statistics on all kinds of things. The number of people that die on the toilet. The number of people killed by ladders. I'm sure we can find one on vegetables.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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It's a thread about mass murders. If you're going to make comments totally irrelevant to the thread topic you need to flag that clearly.

And, Jonestown was murder using just hands and cyanide. Ooops, that "and cyanide" means it wasn't just hands was it. Numpty.

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All I want for Christmas is EU

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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The problem with cyanide is it's not widely available.
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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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If only the early leaders of the USA had seen fit to provide that militias had the right to bear poison.

EDIT: You do have to wonder, though, what the "guns don't kill people" crowd think the whole point of the 2nd amendment was. I mean, if guns don't actually help with defeating your enemies, why did the militias need them? Why not just threaten your enemies with your bare hands?

So we have the ludicrous situation where people think it's terribly important to be able to bear arms (ignoring the militia part utterly these days), and yet insist that these arms won't actually harm people. They're just for decoration, or something.

That's it. The 2nd Amendment was passed so that folks could look impressive, and possibly compensate for inadequate sexual function.

[ 10. December 2017, 00:08: Message edited by: orfeo ]

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18147 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Adding to our growing list [Tear] :

"Father kills gunman who threatened his children inside Popeye's in San Antonio" (Dallas News).

Went about the way you'd think. Besides our usual questions, why wouldn't an armed robber in Texas consider that their victim might be armed, too?

But, then, given the location and how he went about it, maybe he wasn't thinking clearly. (Let alone commiting armed robbery at all.)

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18173 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
romanlion
editorial comment
# 10325

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quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
Adding to our growing list [Tear] :

"Father kills gunman who threatened his children inside Popeye's in San Antonio" (Dallas News).

Went about the way you'd think.

Oh dear, GK...perhaps you haven't heard? I would refer you to the sage instruction 3 posts up...

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
It's a thread about mass murders. If you're going to make comments totally irrelevant to the thread topic you need to flag that clearly.

Dead guys that deserved it are for another thread, thank you very much.

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"You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook" - Harry S. Truman

Posts: 1405 | From: White Rose City | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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quote:
Originally posted by romanlion:
Because quoting Rob Delaney is so clever and stylish?

[Disappointed]

If clever or style were criteria for posting here, you'd have been banned whilst registering.
Guns kill people is a perfectly succinct and sufficient way of saying that the presence of guns means more dead people, innocent included.
But as the "Guns don't kill people, people do" morons don't appear to comprehend this, cleverly phrased critiques of their idiotic attempt at aphorism are fun.

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So goodnight moon, I want the sun
If it's not here soon, I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

- A. N. Parsley, D. Mcvinni

Posts: 17100 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Mr Clingford
Shipmate
# 7961

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
...EDIT: You do have to wonder, though, what the "guns don't kill people" crowd think the whole point of the 2nd amendment was. I mean, if guns don't actually help with defeating your enemies, why did the militias need them?

That is a beautiful point.

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Ne'er cast a clout till May be out.

If only.

Posts: 1651 | From: A Fleeting moment | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by romanlion:
Because quoting Rob Delaney is so clever and stylish?

[Disappointed]

I know you are, but what am I? I know you are, but what am I? I know you are, but what am I?

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

Posts: 63202 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged



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