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» Ship of Fools   » Community discussion   » Hell   » I don't want to go to your wedding (Page 8)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: I don't want to go to your wedding
Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
But there is a special place in hell reserved for the inventer of "American Cheese" [Projectile]

If you want to experience something really hellish, you should try St. Louis-style pizza, topped with an abominable substance called "provel" that makes Velveeta look like the stuff of cheesy dreams. It sticks to the teeth and to the hard palate; it annoys the natives when I ask them whether provel is a member of the wax family or the plastic family.

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I'm not dead yet.

Posts: 14681 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
simontoad
Ship's Amphibian
# 18096

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There's a chain mexican fast food place that puts Parmesan or something approaching that on its shells. Truly awful.

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Human

Posts: 1181 | From: Romsey, Vic, AU | Registered: May 2014  |  IP: Logged
Augustine the Aleut
Shipmate
# 1472

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quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
quote:
Originally posted by simontoad:
There was a full bottle of Johnny Walker Red on each table at the start of the night.

I can't get over this. To someone like my husband who can't resist anything free, such a set-up could prove deadly.
At the Chinese wedding I most recently attended in Toronto, the table had full bottles of Chivas, Canadian Club, and Hennessy cognac-- I stuck to the Moet et Chandon, and had that bottle to myself. There were several businessmen from China at the table (I was at least seated with the bride's cousin, a very pleasant nephrologist from Nanaimo, so I could at least converse, my Cantonese being as bad as my mandarin) consuming the bottles' contents uncut in tumblers. There were no fights, but the volume level rose considerably. The bride's father, having paid for it all (300 guests), gave me an ecological tote bag with five bottles as I left.

I won't even mention the Palestinian wedding I attended in North York two years ago, where each table was provided with a bottle of arak, as well as one of Lebanese brandy, so that we could toast each other during the long speeches. As with the Chinese wedding, no fights, but the dancing was most animated, the grannies kicking up their heels with the rest of them. For some reason, my table featured the two lesbian lawyers with whom the bride had maintained a running relationship for a few years. The arak, I should mention, was powerful stuff and loosened tongues remarkably.

Protestant weddings in the Ottawa valley are dry, of course, and one has to go out behind the church hall where cousin Garnet and the others are pouring rye from mickeys (small bottles of a size which can fit in a jacket pocket) into their cups of coffee-- it's not that bad with egg salad sandwiches. Anglican weddings, where wine can be found on the table, are deemed as godless and decadent, and the bride clearly no better than she ought to be.

Posts: 6137 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
simontoad
Ship's Amphibian
# 18096

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brilliant, the whole lot of it. [Smile]

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Human

Posts: 1181 | From: Romsey, Vic, AU | Registered: May 2014  |  IP: Logged
Pangolin Guerre
Shipmate
# 18686

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Augustine, it reminds me of the joke about a recently deceased who goes to heaven, and St Peter is showing him around (I won't go through the entire joke), and in each room a group is doing something that had been forbidden them in this life. The Jews are having a fantastic pig roast, in another room the Baptists are dancing up a storm, etc. Then St Peter shows him another room where there are a group of people sitting in a circle in silence, doing nothing. "Who are they?" "Them? Oh, they're the Anglicans."
Posts: 656 | From: 30 arpents de neige | Registered: Nov 2016  |  IP: Logged
Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668

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We were at a dinner concert put on by some Anglicans a year or two ago, and one of them at our table conceded, "We'd all be Presbyterian if it wasn't for the music".

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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)

Posts: 882 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged



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