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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Aging Parents
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Ah - I have a lamp just like that, I can see how it might appear a bit "monstrous".
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
I went and played Hearing Aid Fairy this weekend. For years my mother in law A's hearing has been (or has seemed to be) very poor. Just before Christmas one of her daughters persuaded her to go and get hearing aids. First try with them in the car home was a disaster as the noise frightened her. As a long time aid wearer I was tasked with trying to persuade her to try again. I had success in that she agreed they were useful and wore them for a couple of hours while watching the TV and having dinner. However she couldn't work out how to put them in herself or how to turn them on and off, so I don't think without me there she'll persevere. They did seem to help her understand better, but it is getting more and more obvious that she has some sort of dementia. She has to think very hard to do simple tasks like laying a table, can't remember bits of her house and forgets a lot of words. For an academic that used to lecture in English, the last is very hard to see. Other than that as long as she has the Guardian and a good book she seems happy enough.
On the other hand my mother seems to be getting more and more cross about various things. She has phoned me up at least once most days this week with the on-going saga of her various illnesses. My brother took her to see a consultant on Friday, who thought she had a small hernia. Operation to confirm and fix has been booked. Mum is sceptical, just as she is sceptical that she has sciatica. What is worrying is that she too can't remember words and she also can't remember what tablets she's been given she needs to take when and kept on going round to her GPs to get them to tell her. She really needs someone popping in to see her everyday (my MiL only manages to live at home because my brother in law does that) but I live too far away and she is refusing any outside help .
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
And I suppose neither of the ladies will consent to move, either closer to a relative or into a facility where they'd supervise her meds.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Both mother and mother in law have a horror of 'being put in a home'. At least my MiL is thinking of getting a cleaner in and even talks of moving from her cottage to a bungalow (though I think it is too late for that). My mother, on the other hand tells me that housework is too much but refuses to consider any help. Four years ago she did consider moving either nearer us or my brother, but I was against it as it would have meant she lost touch with her friends and as she refused to look at sheltered housing wouldn't have been a long term solution.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Aravis
Shipmate
# 13824
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Posted
Re the tablet problem: in the UK, pharmacies are happy to issue tablets in a blister pack, labelled with the days of the week and the time of day the person has to take those tablets. It makes life very much easier. (If you end up having council or agency carers, they'll probably insist on blister packs if you want them to administer or prompt medication, as it means the career isn't technically making any decisions about the dose which could be queried in court.)
Re key safes: yes, wonderful inventions. My 95 year old mother has one. She doesn't have carers but it's useful for me to be able to give the number to other people if they need to get into the house in an emergency and I can't get there. You can buy your own quite easily for around £15-£20 I think (Screwfix is the nearest supplier to us but there are many others).
Re access to the bath: PM me to discuss options (a bath board may work but need to discuss some safety aspects first).
I'm happy to have PMs about any similar queries. I'm an occupational therapist attached to the local council's temporary home care team so get these issues all the time.
Posts: 689 | From: S Wales | Registered: Jun 2008
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
Thanks, Aravis. I ws just about to write about the packs. Known s Webster packs down here they have helped my friend with dementia a lot. Early stages yet, but for someone with medical background, he could not manage his scripts, especially with more added with diagnosis.
He can still see what and when to take things, although he has problems with dates. It is easy to check if he has taken tablets for day, and the two in our group with POA have occasionally hd calls re this.
Even better is that scripts are emailed to pharmacy when needed nd the pack is delivered to his house. One script needs prescribing every month and needs visit to doctor.. legal requirement for an addictive sleeping pill. We have moved from supervision by a group of friends tosupervision by a society skilled and trained indementia care. They make the ppointments nd take and return him.
We made the move as care and friendship were becoming difficult to maintain together, a point some of you may wish to consider. I ws sceptical at first, but it is working well and we relax in being able to talk to him just as a friend. Well, mostly.
[ 27. February 2017, 21:13: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
My 91-year-old father passed away last week. Now my mother says she is going to quit taking her cancer meds and die -- she has lung cancer which has been almost completely controlled by medication for several years now. She says she has nothing more to live for, and the side effects of her meds are onerous. Clearly this is a personal decision that only she can make. But I find it profoundly depressing. The only think I can think of to do is to organize her great-grandson (the only great-grand) to come and visit. If a plump 8-month old tot can't turn her around it is impossible.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Oh Brenda, I'm so sorry. I can (almost) imagine why your mum feels as she does, especially if she was looking after your dad, but it certainly doesn't make life any easier for you and your family.
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) for you and your mum.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Brenda and your mum.
That is hard. A visit from a great-grand son sounds good. Are there any things she could now do that she couldn't while you're dad was ill? A holiday, a trip to see friends in another part of the country. Something to look forward to? It sounds the sort of decision she shouldn't make while she is still in the early days of grief, but I think I can understand where she is coming from.
[ 28. February 2017, 07:49: Message edited by: Sarasa ]
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
The memorial service is in ten days so I am flying out for it. (I live on the other side of the continent.) My sister and brother are there on the front lines, so I will consult them.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Oh Brenda, sounds horrible.....much love ....
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Thhinkng about caring at home and how tough it is:
While talking about going anywhere else to live is merely a theoretical possibility.... one can always stagger on.
Somehow.
But maybe consider having a fall back plan? Even if it's never ever spoken of to the Aging Parent; even if it may never have to come to fruition
I was totally shocked at just how swiftly we went from Gardener..... Cleaner..... Carer to help shower..... Key safe on Porch Wall......but meals able to be cooked... and .... .. pottering around the village
to
Total inability to do anything at all. Within a week, the pack of cards folded. Each day brought fresh horror and all we could think about was that AP hadn't wanted to go into a home.
Sadly even money thrown at a problem sometimes doesn't work. AP could not (in spite of all our carefully laid plans) be cared for in her own home. As was evidenced by the crack team of three senior carers giving up and reconvening in the kitchen before finally calling family members and the gp.
Fast track froward, fourteen months in and AP loves the care home.
The family are still raw....as was evidenced by our reactions recently when some MP randomly talked about the need for families to care for their elderly at home.
Like it's always an option.....
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
[ 28. February 2017, 18:23: Message edited by: Ethne Alba ]
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Brenda, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father and your mother's reaction to it. I don't know what to suggest, because at times like that logic and reason (i.e. my children and grandchildren are worth living for) fly right out the window TBH, the great-grandson sounds like an inspiration; really hope that goes well.
In other news, my mother the Dowager's eyesight came to the top of her worry pile. I made her an appointment with the correct optician and arranged a carer to go with her - luckily, because this nice lady rang me later in the afternoon and filled me in. Apparently, Mum has age-related macular deterioration (which I think we'd guessed); it's the dry type at the moment, so nothing anyone can do about it.
What rather perturbs me is that she was told all this a year ago when she was still driving! and she continued to drive ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) Since then the neighbour who took her to the appointment has died ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif) and Mum had this blow to the head which expunged great chunks of memory ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) but also allowed us to stop her driving altogether, but the pair of them had colluded in denying the importance of what they'd been told
Anyway, to cheer her up I drove down and took her out shopping and to lunch, which was all fine, except that:
1) by the end of the meal she was eating bits of fish with her fingers - something which any of us kids or grandkids would have had a clip round the ear for
2) discussion about chips allowed me to discover that the reason her hob is always so mucky is that she FRIES THOSE DAMN CHIPS ON IT! She had completely forgotten about oven chips...
How long can this go on? On one level she seems to be managing just fine, but only one level below, the whole picture looks very different
Mrs. S, rearranging her own worry pile
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Mrs S - Sorry to hear about your mum's eyesight. My mum has the wet type of macular degeneration in one eye,which is now basically useless and her 'good' eye, which has dry macular is pretty poor too. She still manage, just about, but it is obvious her sight is very limited. Like you I have the coping on the surface but not underneath worry. My brother and I have both agreed she shouldn't go for any more hospital appointments without one of us being there. She always sounds like she knows what's going on when she goes on her own, but when you are with her you realise its far from the case. Things would be better if one, she stopped talking long enough for doctors to get a word in edgeways and two, belived their diagnoses. She has no medical training but is always convinced they aren't right.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
FWIW my father, who also was nearly blind by the time he passed away, insisted on driving for years. To ride with him, as he slowly drifted across the lane lines at 70 mph, was terrifying. It took years of pleading before he accepted that he should not drive.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I didn't know how blind my father was until my mother died. I learned that she would direct his driving from the passenger seat because he couldn't see the lights and lane markings. He tried to cope with living independently after her death, but she really was his eyes in the world. They hid this all from us, which was easier because they lived 8,000 miles away, a 24 hour multi-airplane journey.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
Brenda, I am so sorry to hear about your father.
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Re driving when older.
One of my friends once got out of my Dad's car when it stopped at the traffic lights....and walked back home. Rather than remain in the car with Dad driving.
That Did make him think.
For which my mother was rather relieved.
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
My husband once insisted I go with his mother to a birthday party at a son's house. Terrible, little understanding that if lights turned orange a hundred metres down road, she should be slowing down. We were almost there when she told me that had she known how many dizzy turns she would have, she would have stayed at home. I absolutely refused to go back with her and she had to find her own way home.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
How perspectives change. I have now seen D's legs, with ulcers with necrotic tissue, and lack of feeling up to the thigh from cellulitis. And she's been like it for ages.
I'd have felt a lot happier earlier if she had come out with the situation instead of being contriving.
Today I shall be deep cleaning ready for when she is discharged.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Correction. I ate the ready meal I froze when I had to rewrite the menus (something of a tricky one, as it was chicken in mushroom sauce, which made it clear my identification of the smell from the ulcer as mushroomy was correct), also two apple turnovers with cream, and spent the afternoon in bed catching up on TV and eating jelly babies (real fruit juices - are they one of my 5 a day?)
Cleaning tomorrow. The only thing today will be putting out the bin bags, and hanging up the washing in the utility room. It's amazing that a squirt with a propriety stain remover and a 30 minute cool wash most of which is rinsing cleans so much dribbled food. I think I may switch to the thirty minute wash for all my stuff.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
They are talking about discharging her in a couple of days. But she is still confused. They can offer blitz clean, but only if she is sufficiently not confused to give permission.
Hmm.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Discharge is expected tomorrow. They have tried her on stairs and she seems to cope. She seemed a lot brighter, despite the ward having fewer distractions than they give free range chickens when they have to be confined indoors.
I am afraid to confess that I was hoping for pain and swollen face as predicted in the tooth care leaflet so I could tell them they had to hang on to her for longer. But clearly the Lord has other things in mind, and I'm glad I have the health for healing to be quick, really.
I have discovered a local charity which has day centres and may be able to take the pressure off someone having to be here all the time. We've been driving past one regularly, and there's another even closer. If they can help, it will be easier to get the home right again.
[ 15. March 2017, 16:42: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Penny S - I hope you manage to get something in place for D so that you can get her place sorted. It sounds like unless you do she'll be bouncing back and forth between you and the hospital ward.
I'm off with my mum for her regular eye appointment tomorrow. A couple of years ago I'd have siad the 80 to 90% of the difficulties mum was having were due to her eyesight ratehr than the mental and physical infirmities of old age. It's now about 50/50 but despite basically giving up on housework and getting more and more confused about things, she is refusing any extra help and is still talking about an independent holiday this year. It's only the fact that she'll be having a minor up sometime in the next few months that's stopping her booking one up.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Funny, isn't it, how hospitals can assess people as capable of functioning and making choices when they obviously aren't.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Capable of freeing up a bed, more like.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Funny, isn't it, how hospitals can assess people as capable of functioning and making choices when they obviously aren't.
In the U.S. it seems that such assessments are based on whether insurance will pay for more time in the hospital. I fear this situation will get worse in the days to come.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
There's a hold on while the hospital social worker contacts my local social services with a view to providing carers to deal with personal cleaning, against which I drew a line. So they will probably have to check my home (or what was my home) out first. I'd better see if I can find the bath seat device. And lift the carpet tiles from the bathroom floor.
D is still showing confusion and failing the memory test with regard to the year we are in. It has migrated back from 2008 to 2002. But she can handle stairs.
I'm getting impressed with St Thomas' approach. They are covering all the areas that need to be covered. I was concerned before that we were going to fall, like the other D in the prayer thread, between the stools of what can be done.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Eldest Daughter has visited this week and made it clear that we are the aging parents. After doing a decent amount of housework and umpteen loads of washing (which her younger sister and brother could have done as at least half the clothes were theirs) she started going through our books. L is not a reader and can't understand why anyone would want to read the same novel twice. I know they don't want an overcluttered house to deal with when we pop our clogs (although it's worth mentioning that in the last year my brother did so at 73 and my cousin at just 61) but are they going a bit far?
Sioni, 60 in September.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
Yes! Way too far. You've got an awful lot of living left to do, and you shouldn't be curtailing your enjoyment of life just in case.
We don't have children, and there are no relatives who would be likely to take it on themselves (or that we would want) to clear our house after we've gone. It occurred to us recently that our executor will be a solicitor and therefore someone will be paid to clear our house - so no need to rationalise or downsize unless it is for our own benefit.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Haha! That made me laugh!
I distinctly remember going back home whilst in my twenties and castigating my poor parents on the state of their home; blitzing both the kitchen and their very clutter-y living room.
How they didn't throw me out before i was going to leave anyway ...i shall never know!
Fast track forward to here and now, i am waiting for the eldest to arrive with his family!
I have only just now swiped a Whole Load of clutter from some of the surfaces and am about to continue on through the house in the same vein. Sadly it still looks frightfully cluttered.
Maybe it is an age thing?
Maybe we just all turn into our parents...or maybe we do unless we strain and strive Not to be our parents?
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
My daughter complains of how dirty the house is. Clutter does not help, of course, and books are a magnet for dust. But this is compounded by vision issues; I can't see the dirt and I vacuum on faith.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
My son's only concern is that we don't each enough fruit and veg. He comes homes and cooks for us every now and again (we do eat well not just to his high standards). We downsized two years ago at the same time out son came home to live. he's now moved out, but left his stuff behind, so we are seriously considering putting it in storage. the house is pretty small and having another properly usable room would be a bonus.
Totally sympathise about the vision thing. I try not to moan too much about my mum's flat as I know she can't see how dirty it is, having had an inkling of her vision issues, when I had cateracts a couple of years ago.
I had a nice time, if you can call spending a fair bit of it in a hospital waiting room nice, with mum yesterday when I took her to her regular eye appointment. Her memory is getting bad, she asked me twice in quick succession whether I'd brought her a cardigan for her birthday two weels ago.The answer in both cases was 'no.'. Apart from that she was in a much better mood than the last time I saw her, and we had a nice lunch and a chat in a cafe afterwards. Maybe it was because I ddin't mention the fact she obviously needs to consider extra help of some sort in the very near future.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
quote:
posted by Sarasa:
My son's only concern is that we don't each enough fruit and veg.
Reminds me of one occasion when I was filling up on coleslaw when visiting my Dad because his idea of a portion of veg is somewhat less than mine, and he commented on the amount... We then got into a discussion about your 5 a day, and you should have seen the look on his face when I explained that one portion was 80g.
"You mean I have to eat almost a pound of fruit and veg a day!!!!
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
The thought of clearing Dad's house "when the time comes" fills me with dread.
Full sets of Dad's Army; Sergeant Bilko; Inspectors Morse, Barnaby and Wexford; Poirot and Laurel & Hardy*, plus about 40 years of slides from sundry holidays, anyone?
* all on VHS, obviously ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Having helped to clear out my parents' retirement home, I can tell you that the more you can do in advance (with the parent's OK) the better.
There is alas nothing to be done with VHS. The tape tends not to last well; by the time you need to cope they will probably be unplayable.
If the slides are of value to you, you could have the digitized. The charm of this is that they will last forever, can be easily shared, even emailed, to other relatives, and take up perhaps a disc or two. My parents had stacks of photo albums, and I set them to select the best photos, armed with a packet of post-it notes. Then we handed them to a scanning business, and got discs back.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
After my parents sold the family house and moved out to Arizona, my brother and sister back home had the task of cleaning it out for occupancy by the new owners.
My father supervised by phone. He was never a hoarder but was definitely a pack rat. (He had my report card from the 4th grade, for Pete's sake!) But it was incredible what he remembered, as related by my brother:
"Now behind the furnace you'll find a box of light bulbs. In that box are three curtain rods, two long and one short. They belonged to your grandmother." And so on.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
I suppose I am migrating to the Elderly Problem - er Parent as regards to clutter. And I thought I was doing so well!
Most of really important pictures are digitized, but I have many framed pictures on my walls which mean a lot to me as souvenirs but diddly squat to anyone else. Amazing what I have squirreled away in drawers! A weeding of clothes might be called for which is fine, as I am not particularly attached to what I wear. I have multiple jackets and fleeces which have accumulated over the years most of which I seldom wear.
Small bits of furniture will be passed on to family (some of which I know are coveted.) Family pictures and parental "heirlooms" will be passed on likewise. But an awful lot of junque will soon be weeded ( and I may actually be able to get rid of some storage! Who knows?
The only sacrosanct furniture which I will eventually take into retirement with me are my bed, lazy boy type chair, bed side cabinet and one bookcase of books I know that I will reread.
As soon as my plans are a little firmer, a list of "family or coveted stuff" will go out to family and one honorary grandchild will get (if she wants) two pieces of woodworked furniture (hope chest and occasional table) which were among the last pieces done by her great-grandfather.
It has just occurred to me that my wall souvenirs can be digitized and passed on, keeping just one or two that I really treasure. So that is an early relief.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Even if you don't digitize the wall items, if they are flat (certificates, pictures) they could perhaps be inserted into an album. Then you have one volume standing on a shelf rather than a dozen items on the walls.
Garments in good shape are always acceptable at charity stores.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I doubt that many of Dad's holiday photos would be of interest to anyone but him; he tended to take pictures of scenery, and had a thing for electricity pylons (don't ask!); it was always something of a chore for the rest of us when he suggested getting the projector and screen out for a viewing of his latest offering.
Having said that, there are photo albums that have family pictures in them, and it would probably be worth having them digitised. My sister's already been doing a bit of that; she posted a picture on FB today of Mum and Dad looking ridiculously young, which must have come from one of the older albums.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
@ Brenda Clough - VHS can be transferred to DVDs, but most of the TV series mentioned on VHS are already available in DVD format.
[ 19. March 2017, 18:22: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Triple check the VHSs before throwing out.
We found a Very Old and quite priceless VHS of the villages where we grew up, i had it transferred to DVD and it has enlivened many a long evening!
Plus, it's been shared with others.
That was £10 well spent.
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Well...
There was a letter to Ask Amy, the newspaper advice columnist, some time ago. Elderly widow still cherished the dirty VHS tapes of herself and her long-gone hubby. In their youth they had been very active horizontally, and there were videotapes. She did not want to get rid of them, these last souvenirs of a red-hot relationship, even viewed them again on occasion to remind herself of past glories and the man she loved. But she definitely didn't want to suddenly be stricken by illness or death and have her kids clearing out the old videotapes, and view this. What to do?
Amy the advice columnist suggested relabeling the tapes. Something like "Matlock, seasons 3-5" would do it, a show that nobody their age would want to view and if they did they'd do it on Netflix or YouTube. Then if the old lady collapsed tomorrow the kids, clearing out her place, would just toss the tapes unviewed.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Even if you don't digitize the wall items, if they are flat (certificates, pictures) they could perhaps be inserted into an album. Then you have one volume standing on a shelf rather than a dozen items on the walls.
Garments in good shape are always acceptable at charity stores.
Or Ten. You are talking of at least 25 framed pictures and about30 or so freestanding on various surfaces. Clothes are all custom made and likely not usable for anyone else.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
My mother is going into hospice at home. It has been a long time (over a decade) since first became sick. She has refused treatment at the hospital.
savine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
The local hospital was planning that sort of care for my mother, back in the 90s, which would have been ideal. I hope it works out well.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
My father got hospice care at home in his last month of life. We all agree it was the best possible thing for him and the hospice people were fantastic.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
She was doing well. We had a great St. Patrick's Day together, But later that night she had an emergency and had to be taken to the hospital. She rallied, but then Monday night became much worse. She is clear in her wishes not to die in the hospital.
Now, the thing about hospice is that sometimes a patient does well, and my mother is known for having 9+ lives (we think she's used about 15 of them over the last decade). But she is not doing well.
We don't want to cling to false hope, and we don't want to assume anything.
My sister is flying in from the UK.
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
I am glad you had a good day together and made a happy memory.
I hope everything works out peacefully and comfortably for her, and for you.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Praying for your mother, Sabine, and the rest of your family.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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