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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Aging Parents
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
OMG, Lamb Chopped. Prayers for you and those you've mentioned.
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Crumbs.
Zappa .....and.... Lamb Chopped....prayers wafting heavenwards....
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Thank you and God bless you. A told me yesterday she is on something new (God knows what!) that has done lovely, wonderful things for her blood sugar, so I am dialing back the worrying. My sister, on the other hand, has had her ovarian cancer number double yet again. Dear Lord, please...
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
IANAD, etc., etc., but would an insulin patch be any use to your friend?
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Oops - didn't read quite far enough into the article. Sorry about that. ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
[ 15. April 2017, 20:40: Message edited by: Piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
no matter, we'll hope it's soon! (and that I get over this post-flu thing that has turned me into a bitch on wheels--absolutely NO GOOD for coping with other people's problems)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
An aging parent has two children. Child A is single and has always lived with Aging Parent. Child B is married and lives 150 miles away. Aging Parent's health is failing and child A is shouldering 99% of the burden, including lots of time off work for appointments and broken nights sleep.
A doesn't particularly want B staying over because she says another person in the house creates work. But if B makes a one-day visit, he isn't there long enough to be of any help. B's wife is willing to pitch in, but A isn't keen on that.
Also, A knows the Aging Parent's needs so much better than B, that she doesn't trust B to get it right. E.g. B was with Aging Parent at a hospital visit. Aging Parent was offered a sandwich and chose chicken, but couldn't chew it. A said she would have intervened and asked for an egg sandwich, and this proves that B can't be trusted to get things right.
A is going way above and beyond the call of duty, but will make herself ill if she doesn't get a break.
What can B do that will actually lift some of the burden from A?
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
(The wider family are watching this situation with concern).
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
(There are carers going in daily, but on a couple of occasions at least, A has arranged to go into work late so that she can be there when the carer arrives so that she can supervise. So the carers aren't giving A as much of a break as she needs.)
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Why does A not want to let go? Overweening sense of duty? Need for control? Afraid something will go horribly wrong if they let go? (I'm not going down the intention to keep any inheritance from B road here.)
I would suggest B and wife offer a trip out for both A and AP, with asking for information as to what would suit as destination, what sort of food would be accepted and so on, as a first move to taking over for the odd day's respite for A. Might not work though, as there are two people who might not like the idea.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Afraid something might go terribly wrong, I think.
Definitely not an inheritance issue. AP and A downsized from the family home some years ago, and the new, smaller, property was put into As name, with Bs full agreement. B will not inherit anything, although his children will inherit from A, if there is anything left to inherit.
AP was in hospital last year, and was asked if he wanted a DNR notice. He didn't. But A got a bad shock that a DNR notice was even suggested.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Another idea: a planned holiday.
B and co. will take over for [name holiday or time period here]. With a lead time things could be prepared, lists of doctors, food, etc. Routines could be rehearsed, actions demonstrated (you have to set up the C-PAP machine like this), carers warned. With a long prep period everything could be organized, shopping done, etc.
A scheduled period of time-off would surely be a relief (overt or covert) to A. They should get right away, a cruise or a trip or out of town. B could rightly argue that 1) B wants to do a fair share and 2) B would like to spend quality time with Aged Parent before it's too late.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I don't know if A has ever been on holiday without AP. I'm not sure how confident she would be to travel alone.
The phrase "before it's too late" is the sort of thing that's encouraging A to spend as much time as possible with AP.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Not that there's likely anything anybody can do about it, but A is likely to fall apart when AP dies and the center of A's world is removed. I've seen this in my own family, and it produced some really weird behavior in our version of A. Didn't know what to do with herself and made some very bizarre decisions.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
It happened in my family as well. My sister fell apart when our mother died, and eight years later she died from heart failure -- physical and emotional.
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
We don't think that A has ever spent more than a fortnight apart from AP in her life, and when they have been apart, they've kept in touch by phone.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
I keep coming back to this, without much of an idea of how to make things work better. But one idea has been to find joint activities for A and AP to do together, out of the home, such that when the inevitable happens A will have support other than family from these other groups.
I've recently met an old colleague who has no children (her first husband insisted on this to the length of getting her to have an abortion) who remarried when the first husband died, and is now a widow again. Her second husband developed dementia, and they would go to the Alzheimers' group in the village, where she now goes to help. It wasn't that sort of thing precisely I was thinking of, but that sort of progression.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Back down to see the Dowager again today. As a dear friend had warned me, the Big Reels of black and white cotton that I Absolutely Had To Take Her were met with a stare of complete incomprehension. Turns out the trousers she wanted to take up were red ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif) and guess who has those trousers to take up now? ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) As per the Roses etc thread, she couldn't co-ordinate her eyes and fingers to thread a needle, goodness knows how she expected actually to sew anything
She is, however, much less troublesome, much more grateful and so on - but very tired/weary, and getting like her late sister in finding even a short stint of socialising too much (i.e. she finds other old ladies boring) while thinking that the days are long...
The whole episode with the optician seems to have slipped her mind, regardless of how often I relate it to her; she seemed amazed (not displeased, just amazed) to discover that I had a debit card for her bank account; and she asked me the same question and told me the same things at least a dozen times ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
I've faced up to the expectation of her mortality several times, but I think today it might have come home to me in a whole new way ...
Mrs. S, weary herself now
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Intrepid Mrs S:
I've faced up to the expectation of her mortality several times, but I think today it might have come home to me in a whole new way ...
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Still keeping you and the Dowager in my prayers, Mrs. S.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
A report from the AP in my home about a problem that the hospital did not seem aware of.
All the women on the ward (so it is reported) came in without any incontinence problem. All the women on the ward developed one while in. This was dealt with by the hospital issuing pads and or special pants including pads, At no time did they discuss how to use them. Any problems were dealt with by the aged ladies using the emergency bells in the loos to call nurses who took the pads/pants on or put them on as required. On discharge, (she can use the toilet without help, it was reported) the problems became difficult to deal with.
I assume the nurses think the women have used similar products in the past for other purposes and so know what to do. But as my guest points out, it was a long time ago, and things were different then. They need to be talked through what to do, have things explained. And it doesn't happen. With consequences the hospital isn't there to assess.
It's a matter of dignity, when it comes down to it, and embarrassment.
I hope you don't mind my raising this matter.
[ 25. April 2017, 18:11: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
I am most interested in your mention that while none of the women had an incontinence problem when they arrived, they developed one while in the facility. That seems odd. UTI?
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Based on my experience in the early 2000s when I was being treated for cancer, it was just sheer inability for the nursing staff to cope with the constant call for bathroom assistance.
Most embarrassing. Now in my old age, I cheerfully wear diapers when in travel status.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
I am most interested in your mention that while none of the women had an incontinence problem when they arrived, they developed one while in the facility. That seems odd. UTI?
I did put in a caveat. I am reasonably sure that there was at least an intermittent problem with the case I know. I would regard oral claims to need corroboration. It is not an easy thing to be breezily casual about, is it?
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
The Dowager seems very much in the same territory as my mum. Certainly I had a much easier time on my last visit as she was being much more amenable, and we even managed to discuss the vague possibilty of moving to sheltered accomodation without her taking umbridge.
Penny S, your friend's mother also sounds rather like my mother. I think it's a case of making up a narrative that fits their understanding of what's happening. About a third reality, a third wishful thinking and a third misunderstanding things theyv'e been told.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
D has actually suggested not changing her current pad arrangement (she was intending to present a nice neat person - I don't count for this) so that the nurse notices there is a problem and she can ask for advice. I rather hope she does this. I can't be near her for very long at the moment and the house is full of floral diffusers. I have suggested that changing frequently is a good idea, as not doing so might lead to sores developing, which she agreed might happen.
I never quite know who I'm talking with. An adult on the same level as me, a little girl, or someone confused and angry, and frankly nasty. She is very cross that she has been described as confused. "How can I answer a question about where I am if they haven't told me where I am? I thought I was in Hospital A, but I was in Hospital B, and some of the nurses were the same ones." Perfectly reasonable. I would feel the same. (But she was confused.)
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Uncle Pete:
I cheerfully wear diapers when in travel status.
Miss Amanda discovered that tip long ago. Makes more room in your luggage for souvenirs, and obviates having to schlep soiled unmentionables back home with you.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
I have to say that the hospital D is in now was very good at telling her where she was, so she was able to answer them lucidly every time.
I've got to get through the labyrinthine phone system today to tell them not to send the transport tomorrow!
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Is D back in hospital then Penny S? If she is I hope better arrangements are being made for when she is discharged.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Yup, different hospital, and I had the impression from the A&E doctors' talk that they are not expecting her to be discharged any time soon. Or at all, to be honest. I had a description from the nurses that towards the end, people will recover well, and then decline again several times, so her being discharged before is not an unusual circumstance.
The discharge letter from the other hospital, which I was able to supply (kept very neatly with D's med in a proper hospital zippy bag) does not seem to have impressed the consultant with its detail.
The leg ulcers had deteriorated again - and had only been seen at weekly intervals since leaving the hospital, and it is my opinion that they should have been dressed much more frequently. Infection had arisen again - I spotted the word sepsis on the notes, and she had fluid on her lungs. This all occurred very suddenly after lunch, when she was OK, at about 4.15, as she was changing to get ready for the nurse. I hadn't realised how bad it was for her to be so breathless - she was just talking about a blocked nose.
Tomorrow's appointment has been sorted.
I've put a bit more in the prayer thread.
[ 27. April 2017, 10:35: Message edited by: Penny S ]
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
The quick deterioration in D's health sounds alraming Penny S. I hope this hospital will be more on the ball with getting her sorted and discharged to somewhere more suitable than your house.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
What they said yesterday waas that there is a lot of change (at the end of life was implicit) with improvement followed by deterioration as a cycle for a while, so I wouldn't hold the discharge from the other hospital as a fault - though maybe they should have considered the possibility of relapse more seriously. She really did seem much, much better than she had been for months. One of the nurses suggested allergy for the breathing probloem - laburnham is not a good flower to have around, and there are other things about at the moment - oil seed rape for example.
I'm not visiting today though, I've got a respiratory thing myself. Blowing nose, sinuses not clear, and on the offchance that it's an infection, I'm not going in.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
There are a lot of nasty things going around. We went away with friends at the weekend and most of us seemed to have horribel coughs even thoguh we'd come from different parts of the country. Not visitng sounds sensible if you might be infectious.
I hope D's son is pushing for a better care package in place if/when she is discharged.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
The hospital will not release her unless there is a place safe enough for her. She is a lot better today. And complaining.
I am following a suggestion by a nurse about her, and have taken an antihistamine tablet. If things dry up, it wasn't an infection. The fields are yellow with oilseed rape (canola?)
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
... improvement followed by deterioration as a cycle ...
My dad's been going through that sort of thing for the last wee while - he'll get an infection, they'll take him in to the local hospital, they'll decide it wasn't an infection after all, and send him back, and so it goes.
At the moment they seem to have decided that he'd be too weak to move, so I hope nothing arises that would require hospital treatment.
There's a possibility I may be able to go over in June and visit him with my sister, which would probably do me as much good as it did him.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Oh dear.
And the sntihistamine hasn't been effective.
I don't touch type, and the keys have lost their labels, but I like that typo.
[ 28. April 2017, 11:58: Message edited by: Penny S ]
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
snotihistamine?
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
I hope she is comfortable and that you are relieved to have your house back.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
Not quite yet, but she can not, at the moment, manage stairs. Mine is a town house, with loos on the ground floor and the top floor, but nothing in the middle, which is open plan with no door between the kitchen and the living room, which has no nook or niche which could hold a commode behind a screen.
If she were my relation, and not responsible for my garage being full of her stuff to sort out, I would move my office furniture, and the stuff I have moved into it out of the way there and install a bed in that room behind the garage. But I don't feel called to do that.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Considering all you've done already, and the fact that she isn't a relation, I'm not sure you should be being called to do anything.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Dad's getting more and more muddled in his thinking, more depressed, losing his ability to look after himself, mobility worsening. He may be developing dementia but no-one's sure what's depression, what's possibly dementia and what's purely psychosis.
The hospital (where he's been since March) want him to move into a residential home. He spent two weeks in one for respite earlier in the year and absolutely hated it.
Don't know what to do. There's no solution he won't loathe.
[ 02. May 2017, 11:39: Message edited by: Karl: Liberal Backslider ]
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
My mother-in-law suffered from depression in her last years. A mild anti-depressant helped her greatly. The main issue with this is that if the elder is already on lots of other meds, you hesitate to add another into the mix.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Concerning "homes" and the going into of them:
Once we knew that we Had to go look at some..... for our Aging Parent had the decision taken out of their hands by the medics. ....we found them as different as chalk and cheese.
One was run like a Blackpool Pier happy hour with bingo, staff dancing the congo and forced hilarity at every turn....
A second was all solemnity and crucifixes, devout prayer and grilled fish...
A third was fabulous but out of the way and had scant parking for visitors.
One had brilliant staff but rubbish facilities.
Another just stank.
Quite a few had fabulous facilities , but just not of the sort that our Aging Parent would be able to either appropriate or appreciate.
Some had such rubbish staff that the visit was truncated and my sister returned to her car and wept.
You get my drift.
My sister had pulled the short straw of doing the actual choosing and in the end we ended up with somewhere that Everyone Else said was appalling.
Well i don't know by what standard most folk judge care homes, but my sister loved it....i love it...the aging parent Still loves it!
+ this from a person who was n-e-v-e-r going to go into a care home.
I've worked in care home s and never have i seen such attention to detail and care for individuals.
So if anyone is facing a possible care home move, i would suggest that you start the choosing process early. A year or two before you might need a place is never too soon. Some places have waiting lists. And don't go on what others say.
View it like one might view visiting a garden centre? They usually serve coffee too.....
Oh and my very best wishes, it's a thankless task and one best not done in an emergency and at Christmas.
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[ 02. May 2017, 16:01: Message edited by: Ethne Alba ]
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
We have just moved my mother-in-law into a care home, after about five years of paying for home visits (and cleaning and gardening) so she could stay in her own house for as long as possible.
We looked at four or five different care homes last summer, and put her on the waiting list for two that we liked. Back in March (this year) she deteriorated suddenly and we had to find somewhere quickly, but fortunately one of the homes we already had her on the waiting list for was able to bump her up to the top and offered us a room for her within a couple of weeks of the Major Crisis. We moved her just over a week ago. And... it's gone as well as could be expected. She seems to have settled down reasonably well, although she keeps asking when things are going to get back to normal (she has advanced dementia, but is physically quite fit for her age).
Care homes do vary - the two we went on the waiting lists for were really nice, a couple of others we looked at were OKish and one was horrible. Would he be happier about moving into one if he's involved in choosing where he goes?
[ 02. May 2017, 18:00: Message edited by: Jane R ]
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
It was a wrench (and a hellacious lot of work) for my parents to move into assisted living, but after it was all done they were glad they had done it. So may duties (dishes, shopping) shed, and it was much closer to the rest of the family.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
The posts make me recall the two years of hell to get my father organized after my mother died almost 9 years ago. Travelling the 10,000 km to organize him in Mexico only to do it again when he came to Canada. He's in what is called "assisted living", which means various health and functioning checks, one meal per day, recreational activities. It has brought him out of his shell, and at 90 years old, he now has a 93 year old girl friend. We got him ski poles (nordic walking poles) which don't offend his sense of being able like a cane did, and this connected him to his now girl friend who also has them. They go together to check their bird feeder, to buy seeds for their respective balcony pots of salad greens, and they watch TV together. It's all rather cute actually.
It took probably 2½ years in assisted living before he was really well-settled in and wasn't calling every day. He had to re-learn to be social, and to take part, without my mother giving all the instructions.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Th advcie to look ahead for suitable places sounds really sensible. I've dipped my toe into the water of doing that, but one problem I have is where to look. Where my mum lives now, where either my brother or I currently live or where my husband and I hope to live in a year or twos time? The other problem is that with a mother who is refusing any sort of help conversations about any sort of sheltered accomodation are tricky.
I'm glad your dad has a girlfriend No Prophet. Her boyfriend has made my mother in law's last few years a lot happier than they might have otherwise been. I haven't heard quite so much about him lately, but I guess the fact the live a way apart from each other, he is getting less keen on driving and my mother in law is more or less housebound probably means they don't see each other as much as they did.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
Who do you think wants to/can be relied on to visit him regularly? How likely is it that you and your husband will be able to move to the place you want to live in? How inconvenient will it be to visit in the meantime, if your mum has to go into care before you are able to move?
I assume your mum would be paying for her own care, which means she would be able to move to a different place in the country. When we were looking at care homes for Mother-in-law, we were told that councils are not obliged to pay for care if the person who needs it doesn't live in the area already, and they have to live there for two years to qualify for council-funded care (the first bit is definitely true, not sure whether the second is true for all councils). If she hadn't been able to fund her own care we'd have had to leave her in Nottinghamshire.
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Nothing is right in the Dowager's world.
If she goes out, she's bored by old ladies talking about their illnesses, and wants to come home. Then she's bored and complaining that the days are long - watching the telly at 9 in the morning, forsooth!
I reminded her today that I'm going to Wales for a few days next week (not another galaxy, only Wales) and withing ten minutes she had rung me back, in a panic about getting money out of the machine at the Post Office. This I would have been more sympathetic about, if every time I visit I didn't offer to take her to get money, only for her to assure me that she was quite capable of doing that on her own.
'I think I know the number I have to put in, but I'm not going to say it over the phone'
'well, if you won't, I can't tell you if it's right, can I?'
It was right
Next up, food. I have drawn up a shopping list which covered what she always wants me to get, plus some more esoteric items.
'But there's no room for me to write down any bits and pieces I might want'.
'Like what, Mum?'
'Well, an overcoat, perhaps' ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
'There's plenty of room on the back of the list, write it there - but I can't promise to order you one from Sainsbury's'.
Mrs. S, wondering how long this can last ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Thanks for the thoughts on homes Jane R. Nottinghamshire is where we want to move to. I haven't looked seriosuly at places there but I assume they'd be cheaper than round here. I enquired about somewhere near us that looked like it might be ideal. Although my mum is far from poor the prices meant she'd have run out of money in about three years. I also looked at the website somewhere near her that a great aunt lived in thrity odd years ago and liked . The waiting list is so long that I doubt it would be suitable by the time mum got to the top of it.
Mrs S - How is the Dowager? Mum and I have very odd conversations about shopping lists too.
Latest crisis this morning is mum phoning up in lots of pain. I'm two trains and a bus away and don't fancy my chances of getting over to here very speedily on a Sunday. She phoned 111 and last heard the paramedics were there and she felt a bit better. Like you Mrs S I really don't know how long this can go on.
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'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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