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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: A Truth Universally Acknowledged...
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Sola gratia
Apprentice
# 14065
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Posted
Awww, congrats, La Vie en Rouge! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Unexpectedly, I have a similar brag… “a weird and rather enjoyable paradigm shift” is incidentally a fantastic way of phrasing that!
There is a lad I am getting to know, with whom I share mutual friends and was aware of and had met once at a party but barely spoken to until the internet connected us. I happened to click on a link to his blog, he’d written something awesome, I commented, he reciprocated, we bantered on Twitter, and then suddenly the other week he messaged me saying he’d enjoyed chatting and could he ask for my number. I was a little gobsmacked ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif) , as Things Like This do not happen to me, as a rule, but he did seem kind, so I agreed, and we have been in contact via text, and occasionally phone for extended periods ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif) , every day since. It’s quite spooky, and to be honest also very scary, how well we get on, but he is very sweetly putting up with my insecurities and regular freak-outs and we are meeting soon (he lives in another city a reasonable distance away) to see whether This Thing We’ve Started is a goer romantically (!!)
This sorta ties into infinite_monkey’s question, incidentally: it turns out that, despite secretly sort of wanting Something to happen for a while, I am also pretty terrified of relationships. It’s the vulnerability; I’m not that used to it. BUT, working through the fear, and taking some calculated risks to get to know someone, really are worth it, I am discovering. And being honest about the fact you are scared takes so much pressure off, not just you but also probably the other person. Fear to some extent seems unavoidable; like many things, it’s how you deal with it (i.e. do you chicken out or decide something is worth potentially feeling silly or vulnerable for) that matters. Regret for not trying something can be hard.
Anyway, so, yeah… apparently just being yourself & getting on with stuff you care about can sometimes (eventually?) mean you come across people who like you for you, I am encouraged to discover. Who knew? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Yours encouragingly ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) , and hopefully not-too-sickeningly,
SG ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment - Bill Bailey
Posts: 20 | From: England | Registered: Aug 2008
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sola gratia:
BUT, working through the fear, and taking some calculated risks to get to know someone, really are worth it, I am discovering. And being honest about the fact you are scared takes so much pressure off, not just you but also probably the other person. Fear to some extent seems unavoidable; like many things, it’s how you deal with it (i.e. do you chicken out or decide something is worth potentially feeling silly or vulnerable for) that matters. Regret for not trying something can be hard.
You've got it, Sola gratia. I have had so many bad affairs of the heart in my life, that I was tempted to build a wall around my heart and not let it out to play. But C.S. Lewis saved me (and, for that reason, I will not hear a word spoken against him). In The Four Loves he stated: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly broken." But then he went on to observe that, if you keep your heart safe, not giving it to anything (not even an animal), it will not be broken--worse, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. "The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." May God bless C.S. Lewis, for I was close to shielding my heart off from all feeling. But I stopped and learned to be able to say "Here is my heart, for you. Break it, hurt it, destroy it, kill it, I don't care. I am not in Heaven, but I sure as hell don't choose to be in Hell."
And when you do that, every now and then, you get surprised and the object of your affection turns out to be human, too.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Dormouse
Glis glis – Ship's rodent
# 5954
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Posted
Hedgehog ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) That is beautifully written.
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What are you doing for Lent?
40 days, 40 reflections, 40 acts of generosity. Join the #40acts challenge for #Lent and let's start a movement. www.40acts.org.uk
Posts: 3042 | From: 'twixt les Bois Noirs & Les Monts de la Madeleine | Registered: May 2004
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
I've so totally just ordered that book from the interwebs.
Good call Hedgehog ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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Avila
Shipmate
# 15541
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Posted
A couple of weeks ago someone suggested that as part of handling my depression I should pray 'for a helpmeet' to help me and maybe through children to find the fulfilment lacking - the implication being that the absence of these is an issue in my depression.
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
How many others have had this type of assumption made of your single lives?
I have depression, if I was married with kids I would still have depression. Funny how no-one would dare suggest that someone had a broken leg or cancer because they were single....
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http://aweebleswonderings.blogspot.com/
Posts: 1305 | From: west midlands | Registered: Mar 2010
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Avila:
A couple of weeks ago someone suggested that as part of handling my depression I should pray 'for a helpmeet' to help me and maybe through children to find the fulfilment lacking - the implication being that the absence of these is an issue in my depression.
Well that is just ludicrous and shows that the speaker has no grasp what depression actually is.
[Editorial Note: I waited a couple hours before responding because my initial reaction was considerably nastier concerning the intelligence level of the speaker. I decided that that was not appropriate for All Saints.]
And, in answer to your question, I can't recall anybody ever making such an assumption about my prolonged singleness. I've had some people assume that I "must be gay" because I am still single, but that is about it. Nobody has ever suggested that I could be cured of an illness by getting married.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Avila
Shipmate
# 15541
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Posted
Yea, well it followed on from prayer and appropriately supportive scriptures and Christian music as her 'helpful encouragement'.
It was a church member after I had taken a service and had had a particularly bad week. Had I had more energy I might have had more reaction, but settled for the church niceness of changing the subject... then fumed at home later.
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http://aweebleswonderings.blogspot.com/
Posts: 1305 | From: west midlands | Registered: Mar 2010
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Zoey
Broken idealist
# 11152
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Posted
What this person said to you was clearly crass and unhelpful and based on incorrect assumptions about you and your life.
However, I can understand some of the thinking behind her comments. Depression is a complex condition and there are strong arguments that it has major psychological and social elements, in addition to the phsyiological aspects. Unhappiness and depression are not the same thing and the links between the two are again somewhat variable and complex. But lots of people do express deep unhappiness about not having a partner and/or kids. For myself, if I were to find a romantic parnter, I don't for one minute think that that would cure my depression, but I do think such a relationship could help to reduce my symptoms significantly (as do also:- medication; applying thought techniques learnt in counselling; getting a decent amount of sleep and exercise; trying to make my life one which I find both manageable and fulfilling in various ways; etc).
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Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.
Posts: 3095 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006
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Zoey
Broken idealist
# 11152
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Posted
Indeed, thinking about it more ... I think what's most unhelpful about this woman's approach is not that she wonders whether lack of partner and kids could be causing / contributing to your depression (I think it's not impossible that for some people this could be a cause of, or major contributing factor to, depression), but that she thinks praying for you to meet a partner is a helpful or adequate response. Some people just never meet a long-term partner or have kids, however much they might want to. For all she knows, you might already have spent time praying for a partner. What if God hasn't seen fit / doesn't see fit to answer such prayers by sending a suitable partner in your direction? Etc. Etc. For me, these are the issues which mean her suggestion is crass and unhelpful and lacking in any adequate level of sensitivity.
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Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.
Posts: 3095 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006
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Avila
Shipmate
# 15541
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Posted
I have never shown any desire for a husband or kids since I have been here. Actually I have never wanted children. And I cope with my depression by having periods withdrawn from people, a house with other people would limit that.
I think it says a lot about the assumption of 'normal' that if I fitted it better....
(Quite frankly I have seen enough examples of coupledom causing more unhappiness than singleness not to hold to utopian views of it as a guaranteed postive)
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http://aweebleswonderings.blogspot.com/
Posts: 1305 | From: west midlands | Registered: Mar 2010
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Avila, that's nonsense, and cruel nonsense at that. <sigh> I'm sure she meant well. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
I think there are couple of reasons people say things like that. First, to congratulate themselves on the spot that they are themselves in (if you had a family like meeeeee, think how happy you'd be). But also, ironically, because they have a certain insecurity which is threatened by seeing someone being happy on a different track to them.
To wit: there is a lady in my church who is a *busybody* and loves trying to play matchmaker for the younger single women. She is a pain in the butt. Recently she came up to me to ask if "the Lord had brought me my husband yet" and sing the virtues of a particular guy. He's a perfectly nice guy, but really, really not for me. If she comes up to me again, I am looking forward to gleefully telling her that the person I just started dating is NOT the one she was trying to fix me up with. No, D., you weren't on a hotline to the Holy Spirit, you were just being a interfering old biddy ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif) OTOH, I hope she hasn't been singing my praises too much to Guy-I-Am-Not-Interested-In because he *is* a nice guy and I wouldn't want him to get hurt.
Anyway, I have learned recently that this lady is actually quite unhappy in her own marriage and complains about her husband all the time to the other women of her own age. All that going round meddling in the romantic lives of the younger women is actually about her own insecurity.
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Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
Feeling discouraged this morning, and sad. The chap I like is, seemingly, about 20 years older than me. And I'm making negative predictions that he'd never be interested anyway. And I'm also reminding myself that it's not as if we're short of charming, attractive women who are in his age group either, and who would probably suit him much better.
Another couple has had their first baby. He's a wee sweety. I got a thump of grief, like a black rock in my chest. I remember in a workplace appraisal when I was 31: where do you see yourself in 5 years time? I thought to myself: I want to get married and have a family. Out loud I said the usual crap about work goals, but what I really wanted was somewhere that was really home and a family to take care of. I suppose I was also quite ill at the time, and nothing came of it, but I kept hoping.
My hopes seem a long way away today. Perhaps the drive to hope is because of knowing despair, the way real faith has climbed over doubt.
I also look at people who are in love and think: God, I want that. I just said that out loud several times and it lifted my heart up. St Ignatius would approve.
Sorry to moan. I hate feeling like this. I would love to be moving on. I think I am moving on. I'm angry with God, but I need forgiveness really a lot.
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
I hear you, Mad Cat. The life we want and the life we have are often so different, in ways we don't control.
I'm increasingly aware, as I navigate the new world of actually having a relationship, that I carry with me, in whatever situation, the thought patterns and anxieties that are shadow parts of how I see the world. It just plays out differently. What-if-I-never-find-someone becomes what-if-I-found-the-wrong-someone, I-wish-I-had-someone-to-be-close-to becomes, uh-oh,-this-person-wants-to-be-close-and-it-scares-me. I-really-want-a-relationship becomes, I-really-want-this-to-not-be-so-hard.
The thing I'm trying to do with that: realize that since so much of my experience is colored more by my reactions than by the objective reality of what's available or happening, I have the ability to shape my experience in more positive and comfortable directions.
I wonder, really, how best to put that in action.
Babbling a bit. Just wanted to throw it out there, though, that your words resonate with my experience as well.
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by la vie en rouge:
Avila, that's nonsense, and cruel nonsense at that. <sigh> I'm sure she meant well.
I think there are couple of reasons people say things like that. First, to congratulate themselves on the spot that they are themselves in (if you had a family like meeeeee, think how happy you'd be). But also, ironically, because they have a certain insecurity which is threatened by seeing someone being happy on a different track to them.
Not that people like this do not exist, but this is a cynical view.
There do exist people who genuinely wish to help. Yes, they are making assumptions, and this is not always helpful. It does not necessarily follow that their motives are evil.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by infinite_monkey:
I hear you, Mad Cat. The life we want and the life we have are often so different, in ways we don't control.
I'm increasingly aware, as I navigate the new world of actually having a relationship, that I carry with me, in whatever situation, the thought patterns and anxieties that are shadow parts of how I see the world. It just plays out differently. What-if-I-never-find-someone becomes what-if-I-found-the-wrong-someone, I-wish-I-had-someone-to-be-close-to becomes, uh-oh,-this-person-wants-to-be-close-and-it-scares-me. I-really-want-a-relationship becomes, I-really-want-this-to-not-be-so-hard.
The thing I'm trying to do with that: realize that since so much of my experience is colored more by my reactions than by the objective reality of what's available or happening, I have the ability to shape my experience in more positive and comfortable directions.
I wonder, really, how best to put that in action.
Babbling a bit. Just wanted to throw it out there, though, that your words resonate with my experience as well.
I have a bad case of grass-is-greener-itis, and what you write clarifies how I've been feeling.
I've been assiduously counting blessings all day, and am feeling more on an even keel. I guess sometimes I need to shout "No fair!!" At God, and wrestle with faith and hope some more.
Off to listen to The Stones.....
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Cat:
Feeling discouraged this morning, and sad. The chap I like is, seemingly, about 20 years older than me. And I'm making negative predictions that he'd never be interested anyway. And I'm also reminding myself that it's not as if we're short of charming, attractive women who are in his age group either, and who would probably suit him much better.
That age gap would be a problem for many women, but, trust me, not for most men.
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Cat:
Feeling discouraged this morning, and sad. The chap I like is, seemingly, about 20 years older than me. And I'm making negative predictions that he'd never be interested anyway. And I'm also reminding myself that it's not as if we're short of charming, attractive women who are in his age group either, and who would probably suit him much better.
That age gap would be a problem for many women, but, trust me, not for most men.
![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh, come on. I can't be the only one!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Oh, come on. I can't be the only one!
Ah, yus.
(Ref. laughing like a demented pony...)
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
<bump>
I've been reading that thread with interest, but not had much of anything worth saying. As a person who's attracted at times to both genders, this stuff is both more and less of a minefield for me than I imagine it is for Typically Developing Peers. (Since I could hypothetically objectify EVERYBODY, I've settled for objectifying nobody. And I can't flirt my way out of a paper bag, so I'm not too worried about it crossing any lines with folks.)
How's life treating the rest of you?
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
@*%@$*&%$*&@#(*@%$_??!@@#*^@%^$#!@#!!!!
Thank you for asking.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I'm still in the "seeking community" mode and not worrying about dating-- although I will say, being in that mode makes me a lot more comfortable around men, drunken letchers aside.
I have taken to attending local live music events. At one such event I was the only one in the audience for the first hour of this girl's set, so I just moved up front and started chatting with her. It was great. Later, at a different venue, I saw a band that had two members of the band I saw on my disastrous New Year's night-- the sax player (also the lead singer of the New year's band) totally recognized me and came up to chat with me at the bar, inviting me their next gig. It seem like a nice, low-key, low-commitment way to become a face in the community, which is right now my main goal. I figure the boy-girl stuff will sort itself out later.
[ 10. June 2013, 05:25: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
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Posted
Weddings on your own suck big time.
Weddings where you are still in love with the groom ...
Ach, he was never for me, I know it. And I like the bride, and they are besotted with each other. Most importantly of all, she makes him happy, which means that I am totally on her side, because nothing is more important to me than his happiness. I have long since got past the mad broken heart bit, and he is quite possibly my best friend in the world, and I love him to pieces and know he loves me too ... just not in 'that way'. But sometimes I slip a little and the old feelings come back.
So I dance at the wedding and have a lovely time. Then I go back to my hotel room at the end of the night and howl.
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"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Cottontail:
So I dance at the wedding and have a lovely time. Then I go back to my hotel room at the end of the night and howl.
((cottontail))You gotta do it sometimes.
I respect the courage it must have taken to get through the day. You are obviously a good friend.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
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Posted
Thanks, Kelly. I appreciate that.
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"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
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Dormouse
Glis glis – Ship's rodent
# 5954
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Posted
(((Cottontail))) - because I've been there. And despite having now been happily married for 28 years, you know, I still have a tiny corner of my heart that is reserved for the Other One. And it always will be, even if I know he probably never really took me seriously "like that".
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What are you doing for Lent?
40 days, 40 reflections, 40 acts of generosity. Join the #40acts challenge for #Lent and let's start a movement. www.40acts.org.uk
Posts: 3042 | From: 'twixt les Bois Noirs & Les Monts de la Madeleine | Registered: May 2004
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
((Cottontail)) Ay-yah bandit.
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
(((Cottontail))) ![[Frown]](frown.gif) Big hug xx
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
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Posted
You are all very sweet: I was needing some tea and sympathy, and knew I would get some here. I'm all right, really, and am over the worst of the weeps and the self-pity. But I am glad to have this place to come and vent a bit, because it's not the kind of thing I can tell family or even close friends. I couldn't stand the anxious expressions every time I mention the poor guy.
So thanks again. Onwards and upwards.
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"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
Someone I rather like texted me inviting me to a BBQ....but had texted the wrong Jade
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
Someone I rather like texted me inviting me to a BBQ....but had texted the wrong Jade
Pretend you are she, go along and it could be the start of something beautiful? Would make for a good 'How did you meet?' anecdote anyway.
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hazey*Jane:
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
Someone I rather like texted me inviting me to a BBQ....but had texted the wrong Jade
Pretend you are she, go along and it could be the start of something beautiful? Would make for a good 'How did you meet?' anecdote anyway.
Oh this was a few days ago, and it wasn't possible since he's in Guildford and I was in Birmingham at the time! I didn't actually know that he didn't mean to text me until I apologised afterwards for not being able to attend.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
Tell him he missed the nice Jade, but you'll give him just one chance to make it up over a cup of coffee.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
Not really possible because of the distances involved (I was surprised to get the invite because of this!).
It is just tiring being the one to always do the pursuing - I don't mind being proactive, not at all, but am I really that unworthy of being pursued?
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
I don't think it's a "worth" question at all, really. I think that some folks just are more comfortable in either role, and it's tricky if the folks you connect with aren't the ones who do a lot of the pursuit themselves. I've learned, in retrospect, about a small but significant number of people who have considered me attractive but not done anything about it because of shyness or discomfort with reaching out like that--that's not about whether I'm "worthy", that's about whether they are able to take that kind of a leap.
There is, I agree, a nice thing to be felt when someone does something that seems to be "pursuing" you--the flattery of knowing you've caught someone's eye, that another person feels you're worthy of that kind of attention. I like that. And I try to remind myself, then, that other people like that, too, and that it's nice to give someone something they like, so it's okay and even good for me to fill that role.
Not that it's always great fun to often do that, of course.
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
As I parked my car this afternoon, I noticed the guy unloading his van into the building nearby was looking over. Luckily, I'm alright at parallel parking, so I didn't get flustered. Once I was in the space I glanced up and he was on another trip from his van, and looking over again.
My immediate reaction was: "Huff. Of course I can park properly. What's he looking at?"
Then it occured to me that he might be looking over because I look non-minging today.
Either that or he was just in awe of my parking skillz.
I NEED TO NOTICE THESE THINGS!!
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
meeting a lad today for coffee. He emailed me off a dating website. I was going to take my profile down since I am so jaded. We'll see how this goes.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
Hope it goes well, Duchess! And kudos to you for giving it a shot.
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Wow, that went very well. He's a very tall man (like 6'6" apparently...embarrassed about it so he put he's 6'5" on his profile). He is really into me apparently. He's totally kind and adorable and yes, very cute. He sounds like batman when he talks (I let him know and he wasn't sure what to make of that). I told him that is a very good thing. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[edited a tiny wee bit of grammar, reading this in my batman voice in my head].
[ 17. June 2013, 04:20: Message edited by: duchess ]
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Scots lass
Shipmate
# 2699
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Posted
Hurray! So pleased that it went well - have fun with it!
Posts: 863 | From: the diaspora | Registered: Apr 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
We're going on another date this Saturday. Yay for batman!
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
Yay!
My best friend did me a new dating site profile and it is much better than my attempts - we shall see.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
My best friend did me a new dating site profile and it is much better than my attempts - we shall see.
That was a very good idea! Back in the days when I was trying dating sites, I discovered that I am wretched at writing a profile for myself--too close to the source, I suppose. It never occurred to me to have a friend draft one for me.
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
date #2 went quite well. splendid. Date #3 will be this Saturday. Date #5 will be the fourth of July. Squeee!
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
You realize that if you keep calling him Batman, we'll start calling you things like Wonder Girl Robin, don't you?
Good luck!
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I really love that idea.
Bless, Duchess. Be happy.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
I presume you are going out for dinner with him 8 times?
You know...
Dinner dinner dinner dinner
Dinner dinner dinner dinner
BATMAN!!!
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) Ah, solidarity.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Heheh. Nope, don't call him batman to his face. Just mainly on here.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
It's over. I am moving on. He decided we were not compatible. I can see where he was coming from. I think sadly he may be right. I must move on.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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