Source: (consider it)
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Thread: chasing the Black Dog - a depression support thread
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I'm still on the waiting list to see a psychiatrist.That's ok, because I'm feeling fine now. Or I was feeling fine till I discovered today that I seem to have not seen or deleted or done something an important email while I was feeling out of it last November. I'm feeling sick and shaky again, possibly because I'm having to think back to last Nov and the way I felt then is flooding back.
I hate this.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Although actually it's not like last November because I'm feeling ashamed and embarrassed, and not remotely disassociated at all! So that's good.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
(((NEQ)))
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Bene Gesserit
Shipmate
# 14718
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Posted
NEQ
-------------------- Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Posts: 405 | From: Flatlands of the East | Registered: Apr 2009
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
And from me.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
from me too
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Gotta love it. Ever more my hero.
-------------------- I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
Now that is style...
for all whose Black Dog is stirring. For some unknown reason, I found myself suffering from Leaky Eye Syndrome (i.e. sudden tears) this afternoon...
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
((Bishops Finger))
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
Thanks, EM. Quite irrational, I know - possibly a by-blow of my (now removed) brain tumour?
for all with LES...
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I could almost say I suffer from the opposite of LES - even if a jolly good weep would probably do me good, I find it very hard to actually, physically cry.
The only exception was when D. and I had to live apart for six months while we were waiting to find out if he'd get leave to stay in Canada and I was still in Belfast; during that six months it seemed to take very little to make my eyes leak.
I suppose different circumstances will affect people in different ways.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
True, but LES sometimes seems to happen for no discernable reason. Maybe I'm just feeling a bit under the weather or summat...
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
I get LES at the drop of a hat...happened just then on my walk by the river.
for all here, and those reading.
I had a shocker last year. Fell apart in April taking numerous weeks off. Fell apart again. Weeks off. Fell apart again at work in front of all. Much understanding, and my boss shipping me back to my parents' place for 4 months where I worked [doing what I could which kept me busy - good thing], got help, and recuperated. I have been blessed with understanding managers.
The psychologist suggested 2 weeks here, 1 week back home, 3 weeks here, 1 week back home, which worked at the end of last year. And may have to happen again given how I'm feeling. Each night around 7 I get restless, weepy, melancholy and anxious. Like clockwork. The days are fine; it's the nights I dread. Which is what happened last year. Concerned it is starting again.
Thankful for this thread, though have mixed feelings that it needs to exist. But am thankful it does.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
((Ian Climacus))
News of continued Brexit uncertainty is bringing me down, made worse by the self-flagellation that I am letting external factors over which I have absolutely no control affect my mood.
But it all adds to the feeling that attempting to resist entropy is futile.
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
((IC, all with LES, and EM))
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
Feel like I can't go on. Fortunately I know from experience though, that I can...
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
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Posted
EM just hold on, prayers ascending
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
((EM)) - keep on keeping on - well done!
for all Black Dog tormentees...
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
You're not alone, ((EM))
-------------------- 'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
{{EM}}
Hang on in there - you know we're all right behind you.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
Thank you, dear friends
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
A bit off-kilter, lately.
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
GK.
I know that off-kilter feeling. Not sure what to make of it...it is not full-blown depression for me, but I'm not 100% either, and sometimes I don't know why. And I am someone who needs answers. So I get more frustrated when I'm a bit off-kilter than if I'm fully depressed. But I suppose I function better in other ways. Odd feeling.
Hope it passes soon for you GK.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
((GK))
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Crap. Not depression, but mental-illness related. Hope it's okay.
I think I had my first delusion episode this morning where I was convinced I knew everything and everything I thought was true. And yet I was still apologetic for thinking it. How they co-exist I do not know. Worse, I posted in Purgatory when not thinking straight and rightly got called for it.
It wasn't till I got to work I calmed down after a walk, before my boss arrived, and realised what a crazy fog I'd been in. It lifted.
I've heard people say you can have feelings you are superman and know everything, and can do everything. Not sure how far along I went but it was odd, being so certain. And now I fear a crash to depression will follow the manic high. I suppose a weekend away is a good idea.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
((Ian Climacus))
I know what that's like
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Erroneous Monk: I know what that's like
Thanks EM, and thank you all. I'm sorry to read you know what it is like.
Do you have any tips for getting through such an episode? Do you just put your head down and ride it out? I'm terrified of blabbering on again in person, or online, when in such a state. [ 09. February 2017, 18:44: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
((IC))
Do have a word a.s.a.p. with your GP.
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
{{IC}}
I agree with BF - you should seek medical advice.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Good advice. Will do. Thank you.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
{{{{{EM, Ian, and all of us, and anyone else dealing with this.}}}}}
Thanks for your support.
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
Feeling very anxious and panicky. A combination of the world being a really scary place right now and some relationship difficulties. I wish I could just get a dose of whatever brain chemical I need and then get on with stuff.
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
((EM and other BD owners))
Mine's asleep at the moment, God be praised...
IJ
-------------------- Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Bene Gesserit
Shipmate
# 14718
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Posted
Anxiety is kicking in pretty hard right now, and prayers would also be welcomed for a bipolar relative.
-------------------- Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Posts: 405 | From: Flatlands of the East | Registered: Apr 2009
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
Thinking of you BG and relative and upholding you both
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
BG
And all suffering in silence.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
Been on a downward trajectory for a while. Got to the stage where I can't concentrate at all. Sitting in the office staring at my screen, refreshing internet pages.
I've made an appointment to see my GP (a week on Thursday but that was the soonest).
-------------------- And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
That was a wise thing to do, EM - I hope he/she can give you some help.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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