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Source: (consider it) Thread: chasing the Black Dog - a depression support thread
Mr Curly

Off to Curly Flat
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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Make some notes about all these things before you go to see the doctor and take them with you - the doctor won't mind and it really will help you to tell her/him everything.

[Votive]

And book a long appointment if you can. This will help you, the doctor and those in the waiting room.

mr curly

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
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quote:
Originally posted by Huia:

Symptoms of depression vary, if not eating was one of the signs for me I would have a sylph like figure, rather than the more sustantial body I actually have (sigh).

I hope your visit to the doctor goes well Abigail.

Huia

Depression symptoms are odd. Sleep can increase as well as decrease, eating can increase as well as decrease. Both changes are due to depression

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

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Erroneous Monk
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I'm anxious and low and paranoid. Sorry. [Waterworks]

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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
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[Votive]

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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JoannaP
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quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
I'm anxious and low and paranoid. Sorry. [Waterworks]

{Erroneous Monk}

There is no need to apologise - it is not your fault [Biased]

--------------------
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"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin

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North East Quine

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I'm looking for a bit of advice. Over the last 15 years I've had episodic depression; short, sharp periods of being incapable of functioning. The last one lasted only four days and was 18 months ago.

It's as though I'm one of those cartoon characters who runs off a cliff and is ok till they look down, then they plummet down and crash.

Hardly anybody in RL knows about this; four days in bed can be passed off as flu, or a tummy bug. Those in RL who do know have no idea of the extent to which this has been a blight on my life. My husband and I have kept it very well under wraps.

I've had counselling, just a session now and then spaced over several years, which has helped, but I've never been on anti-depressants. I have heavily self-medicated with chocolate; when I'm depressed I can look for a family size bar of chocolate and only realise I've already eaten it when I find the wrapper in the bin.

I'm now in the slightly different position of seeing a cliff edge approaching and I think I'm running towards it.

I am seriously thinking, for the first time in 15 years, of going to the doctor and seeking help. My husband thinks being pro-active now (more exercise, more fresh air etc) might do the trick and that I don't need to see a doctor.

Anyone got any thoughts?

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
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Frankly I'd do both!

Exercise really works for me - when I get around to doing it instead of writing about good it is for me...

AND...

you really owe it to yourself to make notes about all this and then go along to the doctor and talk about it - hopefully this will just be a heads up for Dr as the exercise will head off the cliff - every time you do the exercise just head away from the cliff.

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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North East Quine

Curious beastie
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My counsellor encouraged me to make notes, so I did write about it 9/8/7 years ago.

How odd will it seem to the doctor to say "I've been suffering from episodic depression for 15 years, it's had a serious impact on my life, and this is the first time I've seen a doctor about it?"

(FWIW, part of the reason I haven't seen a doctor is that my GP offered me ADs "no questions asked" about 14 years ago, and though I knew she was being sympathetic, I was scared of going onto medication without exploring all my options. I didn't want a situation where a doctor said "Of course you're depressed - anyone in your situation would be - no need to discuss it - here's the prescription.)

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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I wouldn't automatically rule out short term use. I say this because my only episodes of brief - but absolutely sky-blackening - depression were due to a chemical imbalance - induced by the horse-felling dosages of hormones in the early versions of The Pill (which I was taking for dysmenorrhea).

ETA: I don't think there's anything odd in not bringing it up - if something is either intermittent, or not actually incapacitating, a lot of people are endlessly stoical. I suspect in part because we feel that, if we do go to the doctor, we'll either be dismissed as not that ill or worse, be told that it is the sign of something really bad.

[ 22. August 2014, 07:53: Message edited by: Firenze ]

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Erroneous Monk
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NEQ please do see your GP. I've battled with chronic moderate-severe depression for years. Sometimes I think what, really, is the point seeing my GP e.g. for medication review or because I'm concerned that there might be an episode coming on that needs more intervention.

Then I actually do see my GP and she reminds me that how I feel matters, that she and I together are still working on it, and that we are going to keep working on it.

--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

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JoannaP
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I would also advise you to see your GP; I have been really impressed by how much better the care has been this time round compared to a couple of years ago. My getting a prescription depended on my agreeing to be referred to IAPT. I know CBT does not suit everyone but I have found it very helpful - and to get it free on the NHS is just amazing!

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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin

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Lamb Chopped
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# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
My counsellor encouraged me to make notes, so I did write about it 9/8/7 years ago.

How odd will it seem to the doctor to say "I've been suffering from episodic depression for 15 years, it's had a serious impact on my life, and this is the first time I've seen a doctor about it?"

Doctors hear this kind of thing ALL THE TIME about all sorts of serious illnesses and will not be in the least surprised. I had to tell mine that I was showing up after depression back to age 3. You won't even get an eye roll.

As for having pills pushed at you, I found that several doctors of mine automatically assume that the patient wants an easy treatment (=pills) and are surprised and impressed when you say "but are there other treatments I could be exploring"? So don't be afraid to raise the question, it can only do good.

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Lamb Chopped
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About husbands--mine too actively discourages me from seeking help, I think because he's afraid of change (and him a counselor! [Eek!] ). Some kind of wrongly directed protective instinct, though it's not very helpful at the moment. Could you maybe just go without discussing it with him further till the deed is done?

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Jengie jon

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Also, you might google Migraine and Depression. Seriously some forms of migraine are actually depression in disguise. Alright I am diagnosed with that type as I am highly psychosomatic and the depression happened before the migraines started. It is actually as if I condense the depression into one day per fortnight and only have to deal with very mild symptoms the rest of the time.

Jengie

--------------------
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Walking 18 miles to help Refugees get an education.

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Surfing Madness
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NEQ, yes go and see your G.P. Also a friend of mine recommended a walk (or other exercise) everyday, and also an achievement everyday, and something that gave me pleasure everyday. Been doing this for a few weeks and the doctor things that this (along with medication) is making a difference.

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North East Quine

Curious beastie
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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
About husbands--mine too actively discourages me from seeking help, I think because he's afraid of change (and him a counselor! [Eek!] ). Some kind of wrongly directed protective instinct, though it's not very helpful at the moment. Could you maybe just go without discussing it with him further till the deed is done?

Husband is sympathetic and supportive. It's a chicken and egg situation. At the moment I'm not sleeping at all well and I'm worried that the egg of depression is hatching into the chicken of poor sleep. Whereas he thinks that the chicken of poor sleep may be laying the egg of depression. He thinks I should be proactive about getting a good night's sleep rather than proactive about the depression.

We're in separate bedrooms, so he isn't being affected by my current sleep issues hence this isn't self-interest on his part. He honestly thinks if I could just get a couple of nights of unbroken sleep things would be much better. And I can see his point.

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Taliesin
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You have my heartfelt empathy. Please remember that if you see a doc who says things you don't like you can ignore it, argue with it and or change doctors.

I am a great believer in exercise and sleep, and I believe in occasional sleeping pills, proper prescribed ones, not over the counter things that can be ineffective and or make you feel hung over.

I take citalopram, too, which I'm not necessarily recommending, but helped me I think. Now the problem is getting off the stuff, which is a leap of faith but also has to be managed over time.

I'm saying, all help is only suggestions, no doc can or would insist on anything.

[ 24. August 2014, 07:55: Message edited by: Taliesin ]

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Paul.
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quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
He thinks I should be proactive about getting a good night's sleep rather than proactive about the depression.

It's good advice - but any reason you can't do both?
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Piglet
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quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
... if I could just get a couple of nights of unbroken sleep things would be much better ...

I'm lucky enough not to suffer very often from sleeplessness, but on the rare occasions when I do, I find taking a small bowl of cereal before going to bed helps - I'm not sure why, but it does.

Obviously this is purely from a physical, falling-asleep point of view - as others have said, if your lack of sleep is being caused by something else, you should definitely see your GP.

[Votive] for finding answers.

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

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North East Quine

Curious beastie
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I have no problem dropping off to sleep - the problem is that I'm waking up for an hour or so around about 3am. Last night I woke up at 4am, dozed off, was awake again at 5am and didn't really get back off to sleep after that.

I feel like I could fall asleep now, but of course I have to be up now. Coffee will be my friend. I'm kickstarting my mornings with caffeine, but not drinking coffee later than late afternoon, so that's not what's mucking up my sleep.

[ 26. August 2014, 06:39: Message edited by: North East Quine ]

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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NEQ, you're describing my normal sleep pattern....

Partly I put it down to age - I now understand why older people nap, which I didn't when I was young. I'm aware of other things - like 'overshooting' the best time to go to bed. Too late and you hit a post-midnight patch of wakefulness. Thinking actively about stuff - either good or bad - killer. A way of going back to sleep - if you have the discipline - is to think no voiced thoughts. Just let images rise in the mind. Or think about the latest dream you can remember. Or visualise a walk.

But what do I know? Most of the time my nights are a sequence of restless dozing and meanwhile an irresistible pit of profound slumber waits for me every afternoon between two and five.

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M.
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My normal sleep pattern too, and has been since my late 20s (was my late mother's too, in her earlier years though not latterly), so it's not entirely to do with age.

I find it best to concentrate on happy things, otherwise it's very easy to slip into unpleasant thoughts. I plan a holiday, redecorate the house, change my wardrobe - whatever. I find I'm not awake enough to read or get up, which is often recommended.

M.

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Jen.

Godless Liberal
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NEQ - my normal sleep pattern too.

I'm never 100% sure if bad sleep causes my depression, or if my depression causes bad sleep. I know when I'm grotty (manifests as anxiety disorder with mild OCD), once I'm awake, I'm awake as 'the worries' won't shut up in my head and let me sleep. Last night's important topic was whether to have a real Christmas tree or not.

Obviously, different for everyone, but I find 'allowing' myself to have the broken sleep is an important factor. Thinking to myself 'right, well if I'm going to be awake, I'll do something I want to, it's fine' is crucial to stopping the endless cycle of worrying that I'm not asleep preventing me from sleeping.

For me, my rule is if I wake up I'm allowed 20/30 minutes to try and get back to sleep (lights off, lying down, attempting clear, black mind). If I've not drifted off in this 20 minutes I'll pick my book up and read for an hour, sometimes I'll go make a milky drink too. I find this reading is enough to switch off the thoughts in my head to get drowsy enough to sleep again.

I'm not averse to taking a sleeping pill if I've had 2 or 3 bad nights in a row - sometimes you need something to 'reset' in your head, insomnia is a self fulfilling prophecy. I take boots own version of nytol.

I have to say, I'm pretty much caffeine free, and have been since mid-teenage years (even chocolate) as I must be extra sensitive to it as any caffeine at all through the day leads to post midnight wakefulness. Also remember that booze leads to bad sleep, as does eating a protein filled meal too late in the evening. When I'm in a bad patch I tend to eat pre 7pm and nothing afterwards.

You can also put me on the list of 'go see your doctor'. I was given a referral to CBT which I didn't find useful, but I know most people do, and some pills to take in the meantime. I never took the pills (for a number of reasons - the fact they can interrupt sleep was a factor, as was the fact we've been trying to conceive a baby for 9 years and I didn't want to mess that up) but knowing they were there in the cupboard was useful. If I'm hit badly again I will ask for a prescription and take them.

Having that referral and conversation on my doctors notes means that when I go see the doctor, I'm usually asked how my anxiety is. This gives me an opportunity to assess how I'm doing and gives a heads up for anything untoward. Any other chronic, episodic, condition would be asked about - this is no difference.

But aside for all this - thoughts and prayers for a good nights sleep for you and a swift end to the current blackness.

Jen

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Was Jenny Ann, but fancied being more minimal.

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Jengie jon

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You are aware of this research?

Jengie

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Walking 18 miles to help Refugees get an education.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
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Thanks Jengie - I wasn't aware but it fits me to a T. When I have my period of wakefulness I don't worry about it - I may switch on the light and read or sometimes I just lie there and it's okay.

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Heavenly Anarchist
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I get insomnia during my manic phases and I tend to get up and have a cup of tea and a read, for half hour or so.

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North East Quine

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Thank you all. I slept to 5am the last two nights, which was much better. Your advice helped me to feel more relaxed when I did wake up.

Overall, I'm taking on board Firenze's comments about hormones. Given my age, my hormone levels ought to be changing sometime soon, and perhaps this is the start of it.

I plan to see the doctor in a month's time. That gives me time to keep a weather eye on my cycle, and also gives me time to give the fresh air / exercise plan a fair shot. And I'll continue to reduce my caffeine intake.

I'm actually feeling better just for having a plan, so thank you all for your support, which has helped me think constructively.

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Erroneous Monk
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quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Thank you all. I slept to 5am the last two nights, which was much better. Your advice helped me to feel more relaxed when I did wake up.

Overall, I'm taking on board Firenze's comments about hormones. Given my age, my hormone levels ought to be changing sometime soon, and perhaps this is the start of it.

I plan to see the doctor in a month's time. That gives me time to keep a weather eye on my cycle, and also gives me time to give the fresh air / exercise plan a fair shot. And I'll continue to reduce my caffeine intake.

I'm actually feeling better just for having a plan, so thank you all for your support, which has helped me think constructively.

Why not try tracking with Moodscope for that month. That will give you an actual graph, and your own real-time notes to take along to the GP with you.

--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

Posts: 2822 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Jen.

Godless Liberal
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excellent NEQ - 5am is a reasonable time to be awake I feel.

And great plan about the doctor. A month is long enough to see if changes are effective, but not too long if they're not!

I'm ignorant, but can they do a little blood test to check hormone levels to see if that might be playing a part?

Anyway - I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter, and hope we get the warmer September that they're talking about so you feel more like getting out doing some walks whilst we still have daylight (though not at 5am any more!).

Jen

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Was Jenny Ann, but fancied being more minimal.

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Ariel
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It's not a Black Dog. It's like having a creature with powerful grey tentacles rise up out of the deep, wind them around you and try to drag you back down.

It's been a bloody rough week. The denizen from the deep brought a bunch of stuff with it that I could have done without.

There is one thing about this though: it does enable you to spot it in other people and understand it when others get impatient and write it off, tell them to snap out of it, or miss the signs altogether.

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Mad Cat
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I've been reflecting this weekend on the impact depression has had on my personal relationships.

This was triggered by a night out with friends which, although great fun, saw me fighting back tears while standing at the bar and then in the loo on more than one occasion. I was really assailed by despair, but I hung on and managed not to bail out early on my friends.

In my late 20s I had ME, which I think was a complication/symptom of my underlying depression. This meant that my social life was radically curtailed. Depression meant I couldn't believe that anyone would be attracted to me. I had some lovely friends and there was one guy who would have married me if I'd given it a chance.

I had further stressful life events and depressive episodes during my early and mid-30s. Again, there was one guy who was keen enough to ask me out, but I just couldn't see it working.

I couldn't find myself attracted to either of these lovely men. I now ask myself was it my illness, or was it just one of those things?

My newly-married 20-something friend was reminding me that she wasn't immediately attracted to her husband, and fell for him after some determined wooing on his part. I know what she means, but I've always thought that it's not fussiness but realism that has held me back. I'd like to really fall for someone, whether slowly or straight away. But is it possible, if my depression dulls everything so? Sometimes it's like being behind a see-through screen, like the post office. I often saw myself as ugly, and at least now have worked towards a more realistic degree of self-esteem.

It's too late for children now, but the romantic in me still hopes for a partner. I hope this illness doesn't keep getting in the way.

It's a matter of faith. Faith is really bonkers, I think, and so hard to grasp. I get glimpses, and it heps me fight on.

--------------------
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Erroneous Monk
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quote:
Originally posted by Mad Cat:


This was triggered by a night out with friends which, although great fun, saw me fighting back tears while standing at the bar and then in the loo on more than one occasion. I was really assailed by despair, but I hung on and managed not to bail out early on my friends.


You are a hero for managing the night out to start with. You're a hero every day you get up and get on with it.

Massive hugs to you and everyone else on the thread.

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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

Posts: 2822 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Abigail
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# 1672

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I posted a few weeks ago about how I was feeling:
quote:
Originally posted by Abigail:
How do you know if you're suffering from depression? ... I sleep well, I haven't lost my appetite, I'm able to work normally. But I want to cry all the time ...
I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow about another issue and I want to try and talk about this as well but I'm not sure if I can or if I should.

I did speak to the doctor. I tried to explain how I was feeling. She did two things. She said she would refer me to a psychologist; I'm not sure what this means. And she gave me a 'Well-Being Prescription' - a piece of paper with instructions to phone a local organisation apparently linked to Age UK – though when I phoned they said they see anyone over 16 'with physical or mental health issues'. From the examples given it seems they mainly help elderly people who can’t get out and need help with looking after their home. Not what I need. The lady I spoke to said they could see me for a chat about how they might help. Said to think about it. I did, and phoned back a few days later but the lady was off sick. Spoke to someone else there, tried to explain it all again, she said the other lady would call me the following week to make an appointment. I've heard nothing since and I don’t feel like pursuing it, because it feels completely inappropriate to my situation. The appointment with the psychologist hasn't materialised yet.

Now I'm feeling really silly and embarrassed and don’t know if I should have spoken to the GP in the first place.

I started feeling a bit better last week but now I feel wobbly again. I don’t know if this is just something I have to put up with and wait for things to get better or if medical help is appropriate.

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The older I get the less I know.

Posts: 483 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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If you are being referred to an IAPT (primary care talking therapy) service, I would expect it would be a few weeks before you could be seen for assessment.

To see a clinical psychologist in secondary services may take a few months - depending on what resources are like in your area.

Unfortunately, with the pressures on funding, waits for non-urgent care (ie low risk suicide or harm to self or others) are increasing.

I suspect the GP gave you the wellness organisation details because it is likely you will have to wait for sometime, and they did not want you to be unsupported feeling the way you do.

It is possible that the organisation may have access to some counselling resources, they often do have volunteer counsellors - so you may want to pursue it. If you don't feel up to endless phonecalls, maybe send them a letter ?

[ETA I think you did right to ask for help, better try to get treatment now whilst things have not got too bad, than wait until you feel much worse. Both talking treatment and medication are more likely to work well and quickly, if you able to start them before problems become severe.]

[ 07. September 2014, 11:17: Message edited by: Doublethink ]

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19159 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Abigail
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# 1672

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Thank you Doublethink, that's helpful.

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The older I get the less I know.

Posts: 483 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Erroneous Monk
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# 10858

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Sitting at my desk holding back tears.

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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

Posts: 2822 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Matt Black

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# 2210

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(((Hugs))) [Votive]

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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(((hugs))) from me too <3 <3 <3

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
North East Quine

Curious beastie
# 13049

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I saw the doctor today, who thinks I'm depressed. Getting a referral for counselling.

However, I've also got a prescription for anti-inflammatories; I have a lot of mild niggly muscly pain; it's just par for the course with Ehler-Danlos and my weight doesn't help. The anti-inflammatories should give me a few pain free days, which would be a novelty, might help with the sleep etc etc.

I hadn't factored in the aches and twinges at all, but who knows? Perhaps it's crept up on me and I'm underestimating it.

It seems like a positive route to pursue and I'm glad I went to the doctor.

Posts: 6341 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged
Jen.

Godless Liberal
# 3131

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Excellent. Good on you NEQ.

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Was Jenny Ann, but fancied being more minimal.

Posts: 5318 | From: Manchester, England | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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One of the real oddities is quite often depression responds mildly to painkillers as well, so the anti-inflammatories may help with that too.

It is not a cure all and I would not give a seriously depressed person anti-inflammatories and expect them to get better. For starters it would be seriously dangerous given how often painkillers are involved in suicide. However, quite a few people with depression have noticed a rise in mood when taking pain-killers.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Walking 18 miles to help Refugees get an education.

Posts: 20590 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Abigail
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# 1672

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Just coming back to say that I went back to my GP 10 days ago and she asked if I would like to try anti-depressants. I wasn't sure what to say - a couple of months ago I felt that maybe that was the answer, but things don't feel quite so bad now. Anyway, I said yes and I've been taking them for a week. Not sure if I've done the right thing.

I've also got an appointment in a couple of weeks to talk to someone. The information I was given says he can "develop strategies for coping with difficult mental states you might be experiencing" and "help people to make crisis plans and build resilience" [Confused] Just sounds like jargon to me but I'll give it a go.

I don't really feel that any of this is going to help.

And in the meantime I'm going away for a 5-day break with my friend on Monday and getting very anxious about that for various reasons...

[ 27. September 2014, 13:24: Message edited by: Abigail ]

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The older I get the less I know.

Posts: 483 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Abigail:
"help people to make crisis plans and build resilience" [Confused] Just sounds like jargon to me but I'll give it a go.
.

I think that just translates as 'things you can do when you feel things are about to get worse' and 'ways to cope with stuff that cumulatively might make you feel worse'.
Posts: 17239 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Zoey

Broken idealist
# 11152

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quote:
Originally posted by Abigail:
Just coming back to say that I went back to my GP 10 days ago and she asked if I would like to try anti-depressants ... Anyway, I said yes and I've been taking them for a week. Not sure if I've done the right thing.

...

I don't really feel that any of this is going to help.

Just posting to say that most modern anti-depressants take a few weeks (iirc, 4 - 6 weeks) to fully kick in in terms of physiological effects. They're unlikely to do any harm (obviously if you get unpleasant side effects, go back and discuss again with your GP), so give them a few weeks and see how it goes. (Likewise with the talking treatment.)

So far today, my coping strategy has been eating chocolate mousse and cursing the world and everyone in it. This has not had much positive effect upon my mood, so maybe I should try something else for the rest of the day ...

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Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.

Posts: 3080 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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You probably need to give it longer than a week for it to kick in.

I held out for years against the idea as I felt it would only mask the symptoms and not provide a cure. In the end I was desperate enough to actually go and ask for antidepressants. It put a stop to the tearful fits immediately though it took longer for happiness to kick in.

What I then found was that I was experiencing what life was presumably like for people who didn't have depression and anxiety. I just got on with things. If I wanted to do something, I could just do it - no agonizing about it and then deciding apathetically not to bother. The sparkle returned to life, I could concentrate better and think more quickly, took up new interests (things I'd never normally have looked twice at), and got out more.

There has been a blip for me in that mine started to wear off, then I accidentally fell between two prescriptions and went cold turkey which was not comfortable. That was a sharp plunge back into life as it used to be - the 2am start to the day, the despair, the borderline panic, the whole bloody gamut of negative emotions and me somewhere in the middle thinking: why the hell did I put up with this for so long? I guess because I had nothing to contrast it with before.

I really hope they work for you, Abigail, and that life brightens up for you soon.

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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Also, there are a fair few types of anti-depressants out there, different things suit different people, so if the first type you try doesn't well enough - do discuss other options with your GP, there may be something out there for you that will work better.

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19159 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Autenrieth Road

Shipmate
# 10509

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Abigail, best wishes for getting through what you're facing right now, by whatever means. It seems to me it might be important to follow up on all possibilities, because the reaction "this isn't going to help" may be depression talking. Some things offered may not help, but it's important to follow them up anyway, because it can be hard to know in advance just what will help. It sounds to me as if you feel very hesitant to be asking for help at all, and if I could do one thing it would be to encourage you to let yourself ask for help.

Ariel's post describes much of my experience too.

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Truth

Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Silver Swan
Apprentice
# 17957

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This looks interesting - magnetic stimulation, similar to ECT but hopefully not as heavy. http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2014/s4096506.htm
It's been a year now since my son (30's) went to hospital for a month, after being depressed for many months prior to reaching such a low that he was hardly eating or drinking. He developed a rash which he attributed to medication, and still has, despite giving up the tablets soon after coming back home. He is very much of the mindset that nothing is going to help, either for his depression or with the pain he has from an old knee injury. I don't see him most days as he mainly comes out of his room for food while my husband and I are sleeping -I usually leave something he can heat up.
I'm on the point of refusing to buy more codeine for him unless he sees a GP to have his use of it monitored and his knee looked at by a specialist. (He says the last time was of no use.)
For me it is draining. I feel guilty that I am not able to do more, guilty about his vastly disfunctional upbringing due to my own and my husband's mental health issues, and even have survivor guilt about getting on and enjoying life.

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Christ Jesus came to be Emmanuel, not a manual.

Posts: 30 | From: Australia | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged
Mad Cat
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# 9104

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Just want to say 'bon courage' to everyone here. The fight is wearying, but we go on. God bless. [Votive]

Edit: splelling

[ 05. October 2014, 17:56: Message edited by: Mad Cat ]

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Weird and sweary.

Posts: 1841 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
JoannaP
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# 4493

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Bugger.

Another attempt at a 'new week, new start' blown.
I was determined to make an effort to start getting up at a reasonable time but did not actually achieve consciousness until nearly 11:00. Diamond Dogs gets added to the list of things I can sleep through.

By the time I had got back from lunch & the library and had a bit of a sit down, it was too late to make the phone calls that I wanted to, that were my main thing to do today.

Bugger.

And now I have a sore throat and do not feel like doing anything more active than reading library books.

Still, tomorrow is another day.
If I can get to bed earlier than I have been recently, I might wake up earlier.

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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged



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