|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: chasing the Black Dog - a depression support thread
|
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
|
Posted
Amen to that.
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) for all whose Black Dog is awake and active......
Ian J.
--------------------
Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
|
Posted
A friend of mine who had a horrendous childhood once said he had incontinent eyes .
for Gazza
--------------------
Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
Just checking in. Thinking about you all and hoping you're OK.
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
Wish I had someone to hold me while I cry
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
|
Posted
If I could reach from here, I'd be glad to.
--------------------
Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
Wish I had someone to hold me while I cry
EM, people here care about you, whether they are close or far away.
--------------------
Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Piglet
Islander
# 11803
|
Posted
{{{EM}}} Hugs and virtual teddy-bears. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
|
Posted
From me too.
{{{{EM}}}}
--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Abigail
Shipmate
# 1672
|
Posted
--------------------
The older I get the less I know.
Posts: 505 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
Thank you all so much for being here with me, and for letting me be here for you too.
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Zoey
Broken idealist
# 11152
|
Posted
I would like a little break from the way my brain is. Mostly, it's my brain and I wouldn't know how to go about life with anyone else's, but just at present I could do without its thinking loops and trying to work out what's going to happen in relation to something that's barely started and anxiety and messes.
--------------------
Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.
Posts: 3095 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
|
Posted
--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zoey:
I would like a little break from the way my brain is. Mostly, it's my brain and I wouldn't know how to go about life with anyone else's, but just at present I could do without its thinking loops and trying to work out what's going to happen in relation to something that's barely started and anxiety and messes.
Would it be possible to set aside times for letting your brain do its thing and times for not? Like having an hour of solid worrying/circular thinking/catatrophising, and then stopping when an alarm goes off? Or is it a relentless downward spiral so you've got to avoid getting into it to start with?
*hugs*
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
|
Posted
I have been reading this thread and realised that I am not as clever or smart as I once thought and am often a mess but despite my sharing of many of the general symptoms, I still try and force my way out the door when sometimes my inner scream just wants to go back to bed. Unsure if that is depression but it isn't all the time. I have meds but can't take the side effects of dizziness and nausea so haven't given these much of a chance. So I just wanted to join this club and also to say I pray for us all with this affliction. Since it hit me about 4 years ago and at first I didn't realise what was happening cos Duh,Christians don't get depressed do they? I've kind of realised,gradually what it is like and I never did before.
--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
|
Posted
Hopefully that's a start to handling it better, Jamat. Good luck.
I've posted occasionally on here about a friend who has wrestled for years with hideous depression. Over the winter, he went drug-free (with medical advice), and although he's definitely had ups and downs he's been in much better physical shape (he tended to balloon on one of the drugs), he no longer feels the need to give me updates on how he's feeling, which is a good sign for him, and a mutual friend said to me the other day "Isn't he well lately!". I'm sure there'll be hard times, but I pray he's through the hardest and found a leveller keel to ride life on.
AG
--------------------
"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
Loneliness sucks. Like a Dyson. It never loses suction.
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Zoey
Broken idealist
# 11152
|
Posted
--------------------
Pay no mind, I'm doing fine, I'm breathing on my own.
Posts: 3095 | From: the penultimate stop? | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
Loneliness sucks. Like a Dyson. It never loses suction.
You aren't alone.
--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lia
Shipmate
# 7396
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
Loneliness sucks. Like a Dyson. It never loses suction.
Hugs - and I know it does not cure the loneliness, but this made me smile (wryly) after a very long, hard day at work when I struggled not to cry and / or scream. So thank you!
Take care - Lia
Posts: 127 | From: Cherry Tree Lane | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
Fuck the energy drain of depression that means I am still in my pajamas in early afternoon. And screwing around on the Ship when I should be studying.
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Amos
Shipmate
# 44
|
Posted
Bump.
--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
|
Posted
hey LC, I missed this. Around here, PJs and slippers are sometimes seen at the supermarket... Maybe things have brightened a bit over the last few days. I kind of hope they have - my swings are really rapid - I'm up and down like a whore's drawers
I know what you mean about displacement activities - almost everything feels like exam revision to me, and has done for quite a while. But like studying, if I can only make it through the first 30 mins, then sometimes the task takes on a life (and a peace) of its own.
Right Mark, time to switch off the ship and make hay (paint those windows) while the sun shines.
[ 16. September 2015, 12:13: Message edited by: mark_in_manchester ]
--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
Well, today I'm getting out of PJs at 12 noon, so maybe that's an improvement?
I try to remember that I have some reason for these sucky feelings (multiple new cancer cases in my family, job--oops, NON-job--issues, and so forth. So it's not likely that the depression is going to suddenly roll away, as this particular episode is largely grief and fear.
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
|
Posted
I'm so sorry to hear there's so much on your plate.
- for you, and all of yours.
Maybe a good book and the electric blanket are a good choice, and not something to get too up tight about, for the time being.
--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
Feeling like I can't go on - work, grief, loneliness - it's all too much. Feel like I'm rummaging through drawers trying to remember where I put my strength.
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Fredegund
Shipmate
# 17952
|
Posted
I feel for you. Sitting at a desk wondering why it's too much trouble to make coffee.
Run out of tablets - surely shouldn't want to lash out at everyone within 24 hours. And can't face begging receptionist to find out whether there's a repeat prescription, or make an appointment.
Really loved yesterday's sermon: all about healing ministry. Oh, the irony. But it's only 11 years so...
Posts: 117 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Jan 2014
| IP: Logged
|
|
Piglet
Islander
# 11803
|
Posted
{{EM and Fredegund}}
--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
{{EM and Fredegund}}
Agreed and prayers for both.
--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
|
Posted
Amen.
--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Fredegund
Shipmate
# 17952
|
Posted
I have tablets! Sweet little 10 year old didn't believe that I wanted to kill people. He didn't hear me ranting at people at New St this morning. Apologies if any of you did.
Am going to take up running again, and fix Lothar II's punch bag. Might be more constructive. And there's always a few inappropriate trees to name and cut down.
Hope it's better with you, EM.
Posts: 117 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Jan 2014
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
Feeling like I can't go on - work, grief, loneliness - it's all too much. Feel like I'm rummaging through drawers trying to remember where I put my strength.
Hey, EM, How is it going? Expecting prayer to help!
--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
Hi Jamat, hi everyone. Working from home today, so feeling a bit better for not having to put a "work face" on. And it's sunny, so that helps too.
But most of all, your prayers and your loving-kindness help, always.
Thank you so much.
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
|
Posted
Do hang in there and prayer continues.
--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pine Marten
Shipmate
# 11068
|
Posted
Today is the 19th anniversary of the first Mr Marten's death from cancer. I still miss him terribly - even though I got married again in 2010. He was my children's father and I still regret so much that the youngest one has barely any memory of him.
I dread next year's 20th anniversary...we were married for 20 years so it seems weird that the same length of time will have gone by.
I used to get depression in the past, and sometimes the memory of him and the loss of him overwhelms me and I weep. I need to take some things to church this afternoon, so I'm going to light some candles for him.
--------------------
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde
Posts: 1731 | From: Isle of Albion | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
((Pine Marten))
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
|
Posted
Pine Marten anniversaries are difficult. I hope you can be gentle with yourself and maybe spend some time doing something you enjoy.
--------------------
Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pine Marten
Shipmate
# 11068
|
Posted
Thank you, kind shipmates. I took some flowers to church and lit some candles, and saw several friends who stopped to chat, which cheered me up.
I'm acutely aware that compared to a lot of people (including those on this thread) my life is pretty good - we have some family problems at the moment, but mostly life is ok.
for those for whom life is not so good.
--------------------
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde
Posts: 1731 | From: Isle of Albion | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
|
Posted
I'm back to the chicken-and-egg. I think I'm in the middle of a depressive episode, which is causing me to screw up. My husband is trying to cheer me up by telling me I haven't screwed up.
I'm still in my PJs and haven't made it as far as the shower yet.
Supportive husband got up early to make me a lovely breakfast before he went to work, but doesn't think I'm depressed and doesn't think I need to see the doctor.
Nobody else in RL knows.
Everything feels so difficult. I can't think straight. The most important thing I have to work out is: Is this medical or am I feeling bad because I have screwed up.
How can I tell?
Every time I head for the shower something happens - phone call, post arrives, and that's enough to throw me off course.
Am I depressed or am I useless? Didn't sleep last night, so that's not helping.
[ 09. October 2015, 11:33: Message edited by: North East Quine ]
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
|
Posted
Not useless - not ever, no never - but perhaps depressed, yes.....
Ian J.
--------------------
Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
|
Posted
Writing it down instead of things chasing round my head is helping. This started on 23 Sept, but it coincided with a cold / cough and I was sleeping badly because of it. I knew I was sliding down but I (and my husband) thought that once the cold had cleared, and I was sleeping properly, I'd shake it off.
Bad cough / cold meant cancelling a couple of social events, which might have lifted my mood. Plus I thought the fuzzy round the edges thinking was down to the cold. Now the cold has cleared but I still can't think straight.
I discussed making an appointment to see the doctor with my husband two weeks ago, but he thought I'd be fine once the cold cleared, and I didn't. So I've now had over two weeks of disturbed sleep.
But I might just be making excuses for general uselessness.
At least I'm up and at the computer. I've had episodes in the past where I wouldn't even be out of bed yet. Even being able to type this (in sentences! with punctuation!) is a sign that the episodic depression is getting better.
I have been worse.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
|
Posted
((NEQ)) You. Are. Not. Useless.
Sending much love.
--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
|
Posted
((NEQ)) What. EM. Said.
But do go and see your GP.......
Ian J.
--------------------
Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Piglet
Islander
# 11803
|
Posted
You absolutely are not useless, NEQ. But Bishop's Finger's right - you should see your GP and get his/her advice.
Now that your cold's cleared up, is there something else that you could do to cheer yourself up (to sort of make up for the things you missed) - a concert or exhibition, or maybe dinner in a nice restaurant?
that you feel better soon.
Did I mention that you're not useless? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
|
Posted
I'm pretty sure some viruses bring depression in their wake, and for several weeks, too. No need to beat yourself up.
--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
|
Posted
NEQ
--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
|
Posted
Keep fighting it, NEQ, and (if you don't like votives, think of it as a pilot light for burning someone's arse off).
In the meantime, end-of-job stress has got to me to the point where I start counselling on Monday, and a course for anxiety at the end of the month. I guess both are better than full-blown black dog, but I'd still need to loathe someone pretty deeply to wish it on them (with the exception of the fuckers inflicting it on me, obviously, for whom I am specially reserving a rusty farm implement).
AG
--------------------
"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jamat
Shipmate
# 11621
|
Posted
NEQ.hang in.
--------------------
Jamat ..in utmost longditude, where Heaven
with Earth and ocean meets, the setting sun slowly descended, and with right aspect
Against the eastern gate of Paradise. (Milton Paradise Lost Bk iv)
Posts: 3228 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Printer-friendly view
