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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Catching a monster fish
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by Bruce, Peter and tom saffell:
A priest took a sabbatical to a fishing lodge. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"
"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"
"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish."
"Really? Well help me land this Son of a Bitch."
Once in the boat, they marveled at the monster. The guide said, "Father, that is the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."
"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch," said the priest. "What should I do with it?"
"Why, eat it of course!" said the guide. "You've never tasted anything as good as that Son of a Bitch."
Elated, the priest headed home to the church. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary. "Father!"
"It's ok, sister," said the priest. "That's what kind of fish it is. A Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Oh, well then what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"
"Why, eat it of course! The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a Bitch."
The sister informed the priest that the Pope was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for dinner. "I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.
As she was cleaning the huge fish, the friar walked in. "What are you doing, sister?"
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the Pope's dinner."
"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"
"No, no, no," said Sister Mary. "It's called a Son of a Bitch fish."
"Really? Oh, well in that case I'll fix up a great meal and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course. Let me know when you've finished cleaning the Son of a Bitch."
On the night of the Pope's visit, everything was perfect. The friar had prepared an excellent meal, there was wine, and the fish was excellent. The Pope said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught the Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.
The Pope's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing.
"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the sister.
The Pope sat silent in disbelief.
And the friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!"
The Pope looked at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his face. "You fuckers are alright!"
[ 13. July 2005, 11:01: Message edited by: Simon ]
Poll information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 105 user(s) have voted.
You can't view the results of this poll without voting.
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Not funny; not overly offensive.
It seemed too unrealistic and dragged on a bit. And I'm not one for swearing so that probably put me off.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
This joke is perhaps a bit older than Rome, though it appears in different guises (for example, the minister who buys Goddamn Ham.) Kids probably would find it hilarious - but it's too exagerrated, unsophisticated, and repetitive to have any laugh value for me. It also is unrealistic, with none of the 'true life' quality that I find appealing in religious jokes. People in such a situation would refer to 'the fish,' not be (as it seems) looking for any opportunity to say the naughty words.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
This joke is perhaps a bit older than Rome, though it appears in different guises (for example, the minister who buys Goddamn Ham.) Kids probably would find it hilarious - but it's too exagerrated, unsophisticated, and repetitive to have any laugh value for me. It also is unrealistic, with none of the 'true life' quality that I find appealing in religious jokes. People in such a situation would refer to 'the fish,' not be (as it seems) looking for any opportunity to say the naughty words.
I thought it was a hoot. But then I have a puerile sense of humour. So does the Amosling. We both laughed. It's a little offensive, but that's why it's funny.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Oh yes, same I'm afraid. I think my appreciation of the puerile varies from day to day. Today it's quite high and I briefly regressed to enjoy the holy ppl using the expression 'Son of Bitch'. Also very tickled by the hidden dimension of the Holy Father as someone comfortable with swearing who uses the word 'fucker'.
It's the first time I heard it, and the only thing that prevented me really enjoying it was an expectation that the expression would be somehow applied to the Most Blessed Sacrament or Jesus. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) Which I would have found extremely offensive.
[ETA: Re the hidden dimension of the Holy Father, I think that's why I find a lot of these jokes funny: when people don't behave as we expect them to behave]
[ 11. July 2005, 11:30: Message edited by: The Coot ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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dj_ordinaire
Host
# 4643
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Posted
Now I like that one!
Although although although... I would have enjoyed it more during the pontificate of HLH. BXVI seems just a little too serious for it to work.
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Flinging wide the gates...
Posts: 10335 | From: Hanging in the balance of the reality of man | Registered: Jun 2003
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HoosierNan
Shipmate
# 91
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Posted
HLH? I get BXVI--Benedict the 16th. Is HLH His Late Holiness? If not, whatever do you mean?
Posts: 795 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Ricardus
Shipmate
# 8757
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Posted
Funny - but not quite enough to justify its length.
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Then the dog ran before, and coming as if he had brought the news, shewed his joy by his fawning and wagging his tail. -- Tobit 11:9 (Douai-Rheims)
Posts: 7247 | From: Liverpool, UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Corpus cani
Ship's Anachronism
# 1663
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Posted
Never heard it and laughed like a drain. That's because I'm only twelve and any jokes that are irreverent (without being offensive of course) make me laugh.
Corpus
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Bishop Lord Corpus Cani the Tremulous of Buzzing St Helens.
Posts: 4435 | From: Trumpton | Registered: Nov 2001
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Atmospheric Skull
Antlered Bone-Visage
# 4513
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Posted
I didn't think it was going to be funny, because it went on so long... but the punchline creeps up on you, and the sudden escalation from "son of a bitch" to "fucker" takes you by surprise. Yes, that's quite funny.
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Surrealistic Mystic.
Posts: 371 | From: Bristol, UK | Registered: May 2003
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
The Vicar of Christ musht have been enjoying too mush wine before ushing dat wordddd... ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HoosierNan:
HLH? I get BXVI--Benedict the 16th. Is HLH His Late Holiness? If not, whatever do you mean?
Yes, it's his Late Holiness.
Amos, I too found it an absolute hoot, and Coot, I too paused awhile at the repeated and gratuitous use of "Son of a Botch" by all these priests and religious. Nice - and didn't involve sex.
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If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Actually the more I think about it, the subtler the humour is. It's all about naivete and knowingness and misapprehension. Maybe we're not so childish after all. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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The Silent Acolyte
Shipmate
# 1158
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Posted
I'm not sure it's all that subtle. In the US we would call this a shaggy dog story, though it is fairly short. Much of the humor for me is in the (puerile) repetition of sonuvabitch and hearing the Pope say Fuck.
Posts: 7462 | From: The New World | Registered: Aug 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
What is a shaggy dog joke?
My German is no longer much good, but, when it was, I heard jokes of this sort in Germany - where the same 'gag' is repeated again and again. Not my style, but it seemed characteristic of a certain genre.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
My understanding of a "Shaggy Dog Story" is a long rambling joke/story which has repeated themes and with a weak pun at the end. The skill is in the telling, which has to be entertaining and the "hiding" of the tag line.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Richthemoose
Shipmate
# 5362
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Posted
Mildly amusing, I do agree with the whole "shaggy dog thing". Think it may be better said out loud (would of course depend who told it). Not being catholic I don't really find it that offensive, but then again wouldn't really anyway.
Posts: 107 | From: Sheffield/Leeds | Registered: Dec 2003
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Funny, kinda, but WAAAAAY too long.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
Funny, kinda, but WAAAAAY too long.
No, I disagree, when actually told (as opposed to read) long jokes with poor endings can be really funny, and a skilled joke-teller can get many laughs on the way to a punchline as well.
Neil
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
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molitva
Shipmate
# 7859
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Posted
Hilarious and well told. IMHO the length of it works well, and --in best shaggy dog tradition-- the escalating repetition is effective in ratcheting up the dramatic tension before the (for me) unexpected punchline. And I think Amos is on to something re "misapprehension and knowingness".
Posts: 80 | From: Astana | Registered: Jul 2004
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Zeke
Ship's Inquirer
# 3271
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
What is a shaggy dog joke?
My father used to have a very long favorite joke in which a dog wins a contest for shaggy dogs, and goes on to win many more, and when it comes to the most important contest of all, the judges realize the dog is not really shaggy after all, and the dog loses.
It was kind of funny the first time.
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No longer the Bishop of Durham
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If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? --Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 5259 | From: Deep in the American desert | Registered: Sep 2002
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sakura
Shipmate
# 1449
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Posted
I had a version of this joke (in which the fish is referred to as a 'fucker' and the Pope says 'you c#@ts are alright' told me by an expert story teller. It was hilarious.
On the page it loses something. One of those jokes which stands or falls by the quality of the person telling it.
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Keep me as the apple of Your eye.
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings.
Posts: 478 | From: Melbourne | Registered: Oct 2001
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by sakura:
I had a version of this joke (in which the fish is referred to as a 'fucker' and the Pope says 'you c#@ts are alright' told me by an expert story teller. It was hilarious.
Yes, that was the version I heard and like you I was told it rather than read it, by somebody with good comic timing. It was very, very funny, but I'm not sure it works so well in writing.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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Emma-Jean
Shipmate
# 7165
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Posted
I think I'd find it much funnier if I heard it rather than read it. Most especially if I heard it told by a good joke teller who also rarely used "naughty words". The 12 year old in me finds it hilarious to hear "naughty words" come out of unexpected mouths.
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"It is important to remember that for every oxidation there must be a corresponding reduction, and vice versa. When 4 electrons are formally removed from ethanol... they do not simply vanish" - Dr. Hultin
Posts: 422 | From: Winter-peg | Registered: May 2004
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TheLearner
Apprentice
# 9740
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Posted
I take great pleasure in telling these types of jokes. Those that ramble on until an unexpected (thought not overly hillarious) punchline. (I've got one that I've been telling for years, though it wouldn't really transfer to a message board). That being said, the humor here is contigent upon the surprise of the Pope using the F-word and it would be much funnier if told in person by a good joke teller. I am a bit juvenile in my humor, so I'm sure that made it more funny to me than it would be to most, but jokes of this nature are good to share in small doses.
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Pollack
"All Christians should be tools in the hand of God, but some are bigger tools than others." -Anonymous (Hope I didn't see this one on SoF)
Posts: 21 | From: Siloam Springs, AR, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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