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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » The Laugh Judgment   » Jesus at the Pearly Gates

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Jesus at the Pearly Gates

# 1

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Joke submitted by Kitten:

St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.

After a while, Jesus sees a little old man with white hair approaching who looks very, very familiar. He asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says, "I had a very sad life. I was a carpenter and had a son who I lost at a relatively young age, and although he was not my natural child, I loved him dearly."

Jesus welled up with emotion. He threw his arms around the old man and cried, "Daddy!"

The old man replied, "Pinocchio?"

[ 13. July 2005, 11:01: Message edited by: Simon ]

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Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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This is a very non-offensive version (there other version mentioning the marks of the crucifixion) and I was surprised to find it still works - actually more cleverly too I think, because of the mention of 'not my natural child'. Probably too subtle for the non-Xtian now that the Xtian story is largely unknown in our culture. I think the juxtaposition of Jesus and Pinocchio - as dissimilar as one can get (let's face it, Pinocchio and anyone for that matter) and the unexpected use of the criteria to apply to Pinocchio - is what does it.

Still enjoyable even though already heard.

Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
# 9750

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Excellent joke. Funny and totally good natured. I wish I could remember these kind of jokes.

"I believe that the words Favour", "Owe", and "Big" were used....."

Posts: 28 | From: NYC | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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It's been years, but I still love this joke.

Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
# 716

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The version I know has "he was born in a sort of supernatural way" and "he had holes in his hands and feet," too. Love this joke.

My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Captain Kevo
# 9788

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When I read this, I laughed 'til I cried. It seems that one of my daughters used to beg me to tell the story every night: "Chinopio, daddy! tell me Chinopio!"
Not anything offensive about [Big Grin] his one; besides, doesn't Jesus love little wooden boys too?

Posts: 2 | From: Austin Texas, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Midnight Scholar
# 9112

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Love it (as on the previous 500-or-so occasions I've heard it); not at all offensive, rather sweet.
One of the things that appeals most to me is the notion that Jesus wouldn't have a clue what do to if he had to take a shift at the Gates. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you can do every job in the organisation effectively. Kind of reminds me of my own boss in a way [Smile]

Posts: 129 | From: out there | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ship's Inquirer
# 3271

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The first time I heard this I laughed and laughed. It still makes me laugh.

I think it's initially the idea that Jesus wouldn't recognize Joseph, then the surprise of the preposterous connection to Pinocchio. You laugh once, then you realize that as strange as it is, there are really some parallels, and that makes you laugh again. The holes in the hands and feet make it funnier, but also a lot more offensive, as it makes light of the crucifixion. I feel more comfortable with it as is, not thinking it offensive at all.

Another thought: when Mr. Collodi wrote Pinocchio in the first place, could he have been thinking of something like this(an earthly story mixing the Incarnation with the idea of human redemption), in the back of his mind, perhaps. And perhaps not, but it is amusing to contemplate.

A nice component to the story, also, is that Jesus isn't the judge of people in it, and actually isn't quite sure how to proceed, having to ask Peter. Does this tell us that humans judge each other a lot more harshly(if we are going to believe other St. Peter stories) than would Jesus? That is borne out in the gospel stories, and is comforting. It works, too, if you are of the mindset that sees God as the angry judge and Jesus the only defense against him.

No longer the Bishop of Durham
If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? --Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 5259 | From: Deep in the American desert | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Newman's Own
# 420

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This is the sort of joke that one could tell anywhere - very gentle and inoffensive. Of course, one who wished could dislike the comparison of Jesus and the impossible, scheming Pinnochio [Biased] , but I would think that unlikely. I would not imagine that Joseph had fewer worries with his cheeky child than did Geppetto!

It works because (if one has not heard this before) the punchline is unexpected, and there are two inside jokes - one needs to know a bit about Jesus and Pinocchio. Great Sunday school joke.

“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
# 9147

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The joke as it is is the funniest. I thought the punchline would involve Jesus not letting his own father in for some reason. If you stick in the bits about the crucifixion people will realize that it's not Joseph too early I reckon. The simpler version made the punchline more of a surprise.

[ 12. July 2005, 18:06: Message edited by: Calindreams ]

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore

Posts: 665 | From: Birmingham, England | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
# 3757

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The version I heard involves yet another parallell, that Geppetto would be Joseph "in your language", and it was spelled out for much longer, with Jesus and the old man comparing notes about their missing father and son. The punchline being so unexpected is what makes it funny. I think I laughed more, and longer, at this joke than any other I've ever heard. It's one I love telling, too.

Certitude! Certitude! Sentiment! Joie! Paix!

Posts: 217 | From: Deepest darkest Suffolk | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
# 1468

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ROTFL! I don't think I've heard it before.

Yes, the bit about Jesus taking over an unfamiliar job helps.

Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
# 2547

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One I haven't heard for a long time, and always gives me a giggle. Never thought about the parallels before though...

Also a refreshing change after having read through some of the other jokes posted [Disappointed] .

In touch with my inner geek

Posts: 513 | From: close to the great glen | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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Sprocket at the risk of being repetitive and therefore boring may I strongly suggest that you (and a few others) make more of a demand on the grey matter in terms of opinion backed up by reflection, thought and even some theology.

Secondly please keep your comments about particular jokes to their particular threads. If you are having a problem with how this board is run putting a smiley at the end of an unhelpful sentence does not cut it. You have been around long enough to know what to do.




It is better to be Kind than right.

Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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This one is so out of left field, and so completely unexpected (the first time you hear it, at least), that it really is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. Best joke of the lot so far, by far. And not the least bit offensive, IMHO -- just pointing out similarities between two well-known characters (that one is fictional (assuming the orthodox take on the gospels) notwithstanding).

This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged

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