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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » The Laugh Judgment   » Bill Gates' choice

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Bill Gates' choice

# 1

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Joke submitted by stanley:

Bill Gates dies and goes to Heaven. God says to him, "Bill, you have done some good things and some bad things, so you will have the choice of staying here or going down, but don't worry, we will let you look before you decide."

"Great," says Bill. "Show me the choices."

"Well, first there's Heaven," says God, and he shows him some angels sitting on clouds and playing harps and having an easy sort of time, laid back and casual.

"Now here's Hell," says God, and there in front of him is a beach with women playing volleyball and guys laying around drinking beer. A barbecue is just being fired up and a gorgous beauty is strolling to a shower, where she starts to peel off her bikini.

"OK," says Bill. "I will opt for Hell."

"Down you go," says God.

Bill arrives and is pulled into a firery pit of stinking, slimey goo and excrement.

"What's all this? Where's the beach?" says Bill.

"Oh sorry," says the Devil. "That was our screen saver."

[ 16. July 2005, 18:14: Message edited by: Simon ]

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Eternal memory

Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Matt Black

# 2210

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A rehash of the old Goebbels joke where the punchline is "Oh, I'm sorry, that was just the propaganda". Still funny though and not at all offensive

"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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As Windows is dying around me on my crap computer even as I type, I had to rate this one 4/5 for funny. I can't imagine how anyone would find this offensive. (I guess if someone rates it a 5 for offensive, we'll know Bill Gates is aboard!)

Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Newman's Own
# 420

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I found this totally inoffensive - just a harmless joke about computers, with particular meaning for those of us who can remember the first releases of Windows, which seemed to crash every other minute.

I found it amusing because I used to be in a job where I often had to deal with computer engineers and technicians - the sort, often, who knew computers through and through, yet would tell people who had no password to use the e-mail to e-mail them with the problem. They tend to be highly technical with little understanding of practical implications. From what I've read of Bill Gates, he is the total, ultimate 'computer nerd,' and I could imagine his choosing a place based on a screen saver, not seeing beyond.

“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lurker McLurker™

Ship's stowaway
# 1384

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Originally posted by Matt Black:
A rehash of the old Goebbels joke where the punchline is "Oh, I'm sorry, that was just the propaganda". Still funny though and not at all offensive

The versions of this joke I've heard go "that was the demo", or "that was the beta" which makes more sense than screensaver from a technical point of view.

Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?

Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Zealot en vacance
# 9795

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The first truly funny joke to appear.

He said, "Love one another".

Posts: 2014 | From: Surface of planet Earth | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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And the 456 opinion without any reasoning, if you get my drift.



[ 16. July 2005, 12:42: Message edited by: Pyx_e ]

It is better to be Kind than right.

Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
# 9691

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I heard it with an interviewee and an HR manager.

Can "pearly gates" jokes really be defined as religious jokes though.

This joke is not about religion at all!

Posts: 28 | From: Birmingham | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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We're thinking about replacing this crap PC with an Apple, as Zeke uses one at school. I never liked Bill Gates, though I tolerate him now that he's married and has kids.

Hey, Gort! There aren't any homeless people in Seattle are there?

If there are any, Gates got his just desserts!

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cabin boy emeritus
# 5513

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Originally posted by themanwiththegingerhair:

This joke is not about religion at all!

I too first heard it with "demo," and the devil didn't apologize. In that form, at least, it makes the point that the devil is a swindler.

Patriarchy (n.): A belief in original sin unaccompanied by a belief in God.

Posts: 7808 | From: West Chester PA | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged

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