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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Why Baptists stay horizontal
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by belisarius, st, Irene, Sandra, KenWritez and Andy:
Why don't Baptists make love standing up?
Because people might think they were dancing.
[ 20. July 2005, 23:38: Message edited by: Simon ]
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
I knew this joke before opening the thread, as I was first heard it from a Baptist friend of mine back in 1981 (more or less). I would add the second joke he told me that day, but it isn't religous (although about a Baptist)—and someone would remind me the rules for this board.
The joke plays off the standard party line about Baptists.
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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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Boreal
Shipmate
# 9550
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Posted
I heard it as "because they might start dancing" which cracks me up every single time. This version isn't quite as funny.
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I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated His abilities. - Oscar Wilde
Posts: 376 | From: Deepest, eastest Maine. | Registered: May 2005
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Fool of a Took
chock full o' nuts
# 7412
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Posted
I agree with Boreal. I'd rather think that horizontal baptists were more concerned with the risk of sinning than about what other people might think.
One punch line makes them devout, the other, hypocritical.
Posts: 1205 | From: Toronto-ish | Registered: Jun 2004
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Matrix
Shipmate
# 3452
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Posted
The version i heard went "Why has Wheaton College banned sex? Because it might lead to dancing".
I find it moderately amusing. I'm a British baptist, so this has less power as we're not as upright as some of our transatlantic brethren.
Fo me it works on a whole bunch of levels, it gently pokes fun at our more silly ideas, the butt of the joke isn't any one person, but an idea, and one that has held a lot of people back. Not offensive to me at all, perhaps this is a good example of religious humour, and one that fits the bill of what we're looking for in this experiment to identify jokes that might border on criticism of a particular group.
M
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Maybe that's all a family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place. - Garden State
Posts: 3847 | From: The courts of the King | Registered: Oct 2002
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
It's a Seventh-day Adventist joke too. The punchline I'd always heard was "Because it might lead to dancing," which I find funnier.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
One nitpick--I didn't submit this particular joke, though I have heard it (the slightly edgier variant, with the minister saying the punchline to his female friend within the church).
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
This is far too old for me to find it funny.
I last heard it told about Mennonites, and the punchline was 'Because it might lead to dancing'. I do agree that's a better punchline.
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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.
http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/
Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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whitelodge
Shipmate
# 3339
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Posted
The way I first heard this it was an Orthodox Rabbi being asked if any sexual positions are not lawful. He says, "They're all fine. Except standing up... that could lead to dancing."
I kind of prefer this for the whole Talmudic scholarship aspect that you get when it's a Jewish joke.
Posts: 130 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2002
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J. J. Ramsey
Shipmate
# 1174
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by whitelodge:
The way I first heard this it was an Orthodox Rabbi being asked if any sexual positions are not lawful. He says, "They're all fine. Except standing up... that could lead to dancing."
![[Confused]](confused.gif) But why would dancing be an issue? AFAIK, Jews, not even the Orthodox ones, have anything against dancing.
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I am a rationalist. Unfortunately, this doesn't actually make me rational.
Posts: 1490 | From: Tallmadge, OH | Registered: Aug 2001
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ecumaniac
Ship's whipping girl
# 376
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by J. J. Ramsey:
[QUOTE]But why would dancing be an issue? AFAIK, Jews, not even the Orthodox ones, have anything against dancing.
According to John Safran vs God (or maybe it was Music Jamboree? Anyway) he went to this Jewish school that didn't allow dancing.
Certain Australian Lutherans weren't allowed to dance either, in The Past.
Posts: 2901 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Jun 2001
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