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Source: (consider it) Thread: Phone call for the Archbishop
Simon

Editor
# 1

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Joke submitted by archimandrite elias:

One of the Archbishop of Canterbury's assistants runs in breathless and says to him, "I've got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?"

The Archbishop says, "Give me the good news."

The assistant replies, "I've got Jesus on the phone for you."

The Archbishop says, "And the bad news?"

"He's calling from Salt Lake City."

[ 20. July 2005, 23:39: Message edited by: Simon ]

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Eternal memory

Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alaric the Goth
Shipmate
# 511

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It's mildly amusing and not at all offensive. I intend to adjust it somewhat and tell it to a Northern Irish bloke at work: the Reverend Ian Paisley is told the message, and Jesus is at the Vatican! I think that'll work much better.

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'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)

Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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I think that Alaric's version would be more funnier also.

Perhaps my prejudice is showing, but I think having the joke on someone I find to be offensive [the Revd Ian Paisley] makes it more funny for me. Not sure what that says about me.

Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Oh_Susannah
Apprentice
# 9746

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If you lived in North America,
you might find the Salt Lake City line funnier.
I almost snorted Pepsi all over my keyboard
when I read it.

Sue - western Canadian

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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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the way i heard that one was it was the pope and the college of cardinals.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Midnight Scholar
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# 9112

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I've heard another version of this, which may or may not be more offensive than the original - in which the person on the line is Jesus's [I[ wife [/I], calling from Salt Lake City.
For some reason I find this funnier than the original - though I'm really not sure (not being of that persuasion myself) whether this version is a Mormon joke or an anti-Mormon joke.

mn

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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth.
Deal with it.

Posts: 129 | From: out there | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Midnight Scholar
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# 9112

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Oops sorry, should have added just then that in the 'wife' version the recipient of the call is always the Pope, rather than Cantuar or anyone else. Guess this could link in to the ongoing catholicism/celibacy/joke-proneness debate.

mn

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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth.
Deal with it.

Posts: 129 | From: out there | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Midnight Scholar
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# 9112

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Should of course have read:
quote:
Originally posted by Midnight Scholar:
I've heard another version of this, which may or may not be more offensive than the original - in which the person on the line is Jesus's wife , calling from Salt Lake City.

but I didn't notice the broken code in time. Sorry about that. Preview Post should be my best friend too [Smile]

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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth.
Deal with it.

Posts: 129 | From: out there | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
TheLearner
Apprentice
# 9740

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I found this joke quite humorous even though I've heard it before. It is very difficult to change one's theological ideas, especially after rising to such a level of prominence as the Archbishop of Canterbury.
This joke was funny to me because I was able to, in some way, identify with the Archbishop as his paradigm was suddenly jolted in a new direction. I've been trying to be more opend minded myself lately, and looking closely at the many religious ideas that I could have a wrong opinion on.

Jason

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Pollack

"All Christians should be tools in the hand of God, but some are bigger tools than others." -Anonymous (Hope I didn't see this one on SoF)

Posts: 21 | From: Siloam Springs, AR, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Long-Johns Silver
Apprentice
# 1763

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Similar theme in the one where the pope uses Ian Paisley's phone to call Heaven - and it's expensive, but when Paisley is in the vatican he uses the Popes and it's very cheap - Pope says "well it's a local call"

all variants on a theme - all mildly amusing and not offensive.

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"Smile", they said "it could be worse".
So I did...
And it was.

Posts: 49 | From: "The Church" - Church Inn that is :-) | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Exegesis Fairy
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# 9588

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Ooh, I think I like the Ian Paisley one much better.

*slightly evil grin*

Being Northern Irish and all.

[Smile]

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I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

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Julian4
Shipmate
# 9937

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The "Jesus' wife" version Midnight Scolar refers to wouldn't work for me as it wouldn't fit into the good news/bad news mould. I'm sure there are plenty of variations but they've got to be of the form:-
Good news: Jesus (or God) is calling for you
Bad news: What you've always thought about Him is wrong, e.g. He's a She, He's in Salt Lake City (so therefore a Mormon), He's in Rome (so therefore an RC (only works if you're not))
If it's his wife that calls, that's the bad news element first.

Posts: 305 | From: Dorset | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged


 
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