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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Unwanted bats
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by Organmeister and Ann:
A Lutheran church and a Roman Catholic church stood across the street from each other. Over the years, the Catholic priest and the Lutheran pastor had become great friends and often spent a morning discussing their respective congregation's problems over coffee and donuts.
One morning, the priest said that his church had bats in the bell tower. He recounted how he had done everything possible to drive them away. He had rung the bells long and loud. He had used every kind of bat repellent known to man, and yet the bats returned.
The Lutheran pastor replied, "We used to have the same problem with bats. Now, when I find a bat in the bell tower, I baptize it, confirm it, give it its first communion, and I never see it again!"
[ 27. July 2005, 09:03: Message edited by: Simon ]
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Eternal memory
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
I like this one.
Nice and clean too.
I can't see it being offensive. It plays wonderfully on the sad fact that often religious ceremonies are seen as some sort of social necessity, and then the people never darken the doors again.
[ 21. July 2005, 01:45: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
Not offensive at all. The only surprise was that I was expecting the RC priest to deliver the punchline - it certainly works in our church anyway ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
I've heard basically the same joke, but with a collection of ministers who each go through the elaborate steps they've taken to get rid of the bats, each more ridiculous than the last. So the first minister says "oh, we got in the local bat charity and they tried to catch them and release them outside, they always came back", the second says "we got the local game keeper in to shoot them, but he couldn't see them in the dark and kept shooting out the stained glass windows" and then the third has the "we baptise and confirm them".
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Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
here's a question, btw. why is this joke about bats rather than pigeons, which are, i think, just as likely to move into a belfrey and make a mess? are bats somehow funnier than pigeons? or is it some resonance with the phrase "bats in the belfrey" meaning "crazy"?
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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Codepoet
Best Bear On Board
# 5964
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
here's a question, btw. why is this joke about bats rather than pigeons, which are, i think, just as likely to move into a belfrey and make a mess? are bats somehow funnier than pigeons? or is it some resonance with the phrase "bats in the belfrey" meaning "crazy"?
'cos (in the UK at least) bats are protected so you can't kill them, but pigeons are not, so they are easier to dispatch using firearms.
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Posts: 1156 | From: Southampton | Registered: May 2004
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
but i've heard this joke in america too, and its still bats rather than pigeons.
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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
A church that I used to attend had a major problem with bats in the attic, and often you'd see the minister running around with a broom. Best incident we had was when decided to join us for a service and took the low route under the pews. Most spirited service we ever had.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
why is this joke about bats rather than pigeons, which are, i think, just as likely to move into a belfrey and make a mess?
I think it's simply because bats and belfries go together in peoples minds. When people think of pigeons then they think of Trafalgar Square not their local chapel.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
maybe its me... i do tend to think of pigeons and churches because the church where my al anon meeting is has a problem with them nesting over the door, so in the unlikely event i were making up this joke from scratch, i'd be more likely to have pigeons being the problem.
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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Esmeralda
Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582
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Posted
I'd heard this before, but it's still funny. It pokes fun at a reality of church life, but not at anything 'sacred', so it's funny without being offensive.
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Posts: 17415 | From: A small island nobody pays any attention to | Registered: Jun 2001
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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
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Posted
And pigeons are more of a problem than bats, because bats are cuddlier. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Seriously, I don't think of pigeons at church. Nor, actually, bats, apart from the phrase "bats in the belfry." I think of piegons as things that live in cities and bats as things that live in caves, but neither being church-specific.
David
thinks bats are, indeed, adorable, but not especially ecclesiastical per se
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Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
I think the issue is that bats are protected in the UK by many laws whilst pigeons are not. You can shoot pigeons but once you have bats in a church (or any place for that matter) you can't even block the entrance holes up whilst they are breeding and even when not you need permission from the the Department of the Enviroment to do anything. Bat's droppings are not good for church furniture hence you don't want bats in a church.
The joke depends on knowing how difficult bats are to get rid of in the UK.
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I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
here's a question, btw. why is this joke about bats rather than pigeons, which are, i think, just as likely to move into a belfrey and make a mess? are bats somehow funnier than pigeons?
Yes, sort of comic and weird and a bit scary. Pigeons are just fat and boring. (They're supposed to be very intelligent actually, but I haven't seen much evidence for it.) Also the word "bat" is a short one-syllable word with a few associations like "old bat", and "bat out of hell", so you sort of associate them with eccentric behaviour, whereas I don't think people particularly associate anything very much with pigeons, except possibly the mess they make.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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HoosierNan
Shipmate
# 91
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Posted
Pigeons are a member of the dove family--and the dove represents the Holy Spirit--and you would want the Holy Spirit in church, one would think.
Posts: 795 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I've taken the Holy Spirit / Dove thing as more evidence of God's humility ever since we raised doves and found how stupid they can be. Like sheep, you know.
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Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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