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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: A few more hours--are you ready yet?
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
Apparently The Rapture is taking place today...probably at sundown. I'm not sure what timezone--maybe it will just roll along until it hits the International Date Line.
I'm more interested in seeing what's on this website tomorrow...
This didn't seem like a particularly good fit for any of the boards, but of course I think all Shipmates should be properly warned (since we tend to be a heathen bunch...) and time is short.
So--to pay homage to the fact this is, after all, a discussion board--what are your favorite religious nut-job websites? Share one, or feel free to comment on something listed. I know if the discussion reveals any particular drift a host will gladly move us where we need to be...
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3127 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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DagonSlaveII
Shipmate
# 15162
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Posted
Not that it's a religious site, but that they've got religious subjects. Here.
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Thanks for all the prayers for my not-yet-family. Please continue to pray for my future Brother-in-law's mum, she is still in the hospital, although doing better.
Posts: 138 | From: Houma | Registered: Sep 2009
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PeteC
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Will there be Ship of Fools to post on after I'm raptured?
Because if not, I'd rather stay put with all my friends. ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
Posts: 18041 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Revelle
Ship's Bassist for Hire
# 8554
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Posted
This website seems very confident.
"100% that 2015 is the end of 7 year tribulation"
...and what about after tonight when nothing happens? Still going to be up there?
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"We need our Bible Belt to hold up our Truth Trousers." -Grits
Posts: 350 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Sep 2004
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
Sorry - have not got time for The Rapture as we have a hymn choosing meeting tonight.
Posts: 18628 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
In that case you are definitely in The Tribulation, leo--you've obviously been Left Behind.
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3127 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Japes
Shipmate
# 5358
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Posted
Has there been a Risk Assessment or have Health and Safety checked it out?
Anyway, I've just had the lawn cut and it's looking beautiful. So, I'd rather that it wasn't tonight, thank you.
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Blog
Posts: 1521 | From: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: Dec 2003
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Figbash
The Doubtful Guest
# 9048
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Posted
But I was going to watch 'My Man Godfrey' tonight. How can I be raptured if it means missing a chance to watch 'My Man Godfrey'?
Damn. Obviously I'm one of the left behind.
Posts: 1171 | From: Gashlycrumb | Registered: Feb 2005
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
Is there someplace that these people go to learn to design those awful websites?
b. (My eyes! my eyes!)
Posts: 4035 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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piglet
Shipmate
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Sorry - have not got time for The Rapture as we have a hymn choosing meeting tonight.
Me neither, Leo - I have to go and serve tea to the sweet little old ladies at the old people's home.
What are the people on that website on?
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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Elspeth
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alto n a soprano who can read music.
You can talk to God in any language, but He prefers Latin or Cranmer's matchless prose.
Posts: 8193 | From: St. John's, Newfoundland | Registered: Sep 2006
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mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
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Posted
What I want to know (but couldn't bear to click any of the links) is how they decided that '7 years' means 'a period not less than 6 years 3 months'. Or can they simply not add up?
Posts: 880 | From: Scotland | Registered: Aug 2003
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angelfish
Shipmate
# 8884
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mrs whibley:
What I want to know (but couldn't bear to click any of the links) is how they decided that '7 years' means 'a period not less than 6 years 3 months'. Or can they simply not add up?
There are a few anomalies with his dates (eg 2009 plus 7 years takes us to 2016 not 2015). I suspect that this site was originally designed for Fall 2008 but was "cunningly" updated when nothing happened last November.
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"As God is my witness, I WILL kick Bishop Brennan up the arse!"
Posts: 948 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Figbash
The Doubtful Guest
# 9048
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Posted
I liked this bit:
quote:
My perspective shifted from the things of this world to eternity and my prayer to The Lord was for Him to maximize the time left on this earth to lead the most number of souls to Jesus for salvation as possible. I also told The Lord that I wanted the maximum amount of treasure in Heaven (with the biggest mansion) as possible.
Don't you just love prosperity theology?
Posts: 1171 | From: Gashlycrumb | Registered: Feb 2005
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The Weeder
Shipmate
# 11321
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Posted
At least it means I will not have to write a Christology and Ethics assignment.
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Still missing the gator
Posts: 2445 | From: The Forest | Registered: Apr 2006
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by angelfish:
quote:
Originally posted by mrs whibley:
What I want to know (but couldn't bear to click any of the links) is how they decided that '7 years' means 'a period not less than 6 years 3 months'. Or can they simply not add up?
There are a few anomalies with his dates (eg 2009 plus 7 years takes us to 2016 not 2015). I suspect that this site was originally designed for Fall 2008 but was "cunningly" updated when nothing happened last November.
There are some places within the first half-dozen pages down (I didn't go any further - as basso says, "My eyes!, My eyes!" - swiftly followed by, "My brain! My brain!") where the date is still 2008
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Ann
An exercise in vanity
Posts: 3148 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
I knew it! the Rapture already happened, and I couldn't tell the difference. None of the people in my town disappeared. plain old business as usual around here.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 15468 | From: Alaska | Registered: Sep 2005
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
Tom Delay must be really pissed- he needed those votes to make it out of the first week on "Dancing With the Stars."
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 1761 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
Does anyone else have "My Fair Lady" running through their heads?
Just a fewww more hours, that's all the time you've got...
Posts: 4035 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
Kudos to basso--it started running through my head when I titled the thread!
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3127 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433
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Posted
quote:
from the techno-multivomit-coloured link:
I also told The Lord that I wanted the maximum amount of treasure in Heaven (with the biggest mansion) as possible
I think the good Lord may have said something to dudes with that kind of attitude. Maybe they only wanted the best seats so it's not applicable?
It's as well I'm not God or I would have said "piss off into the deepest abyss, you lie-mongering fear-peddling wanker".
[ 22. September 2009, 00:41: Message edited by: Zappa ]
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sermons are back in fashion
Posts: 16530 | From: top dead centre | Registered: Sep 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Will there be Ship of Fools to post on after I'm raptured?
Because if not, I'd rather stay put with all my friends.
You do know the folks who run this thing and the rabble who faithfully post? Continued existence of Ship of Fools- no problemo. We'll be the folks singing "Nearer My God to Thee" and "Autumn" and drinking champagne as the Ship goes nose down in the Tribulation.
I will miss Grits, though. ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams
Posts: 18501 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433
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Posted
Oh ... and in this First Place to See the Son™ it's 14.15, and, while there are plentyof clouds for Him to arrive on, there are as yet no other portents. I'm a bit worried that our own Rapture Readiness Meter is only fixed at 72.4% though. Maybe they're not pre-tribs?
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sermons are back in fashion
Posts: 16530 | From: top dead centre | Registered: Sep 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Likely more than this "cafeteria Christian" does. Besides the "compassionate" part probably covers a lot. "Fundamentalist- eh? Who knows?
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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams
Posts: 18501 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
5.48 pm and nothing has happened here yet. Bugger I'll still have to get then plumber in about the leak. (I did have enough water around befors to float an Ark - but I don't suppose that counts).
Hope all the plumbers aren't raptured.
Huia
Posts: 6593 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
We'll be the folks singing ... "Autumn" and drinking champagne as the Ship goes nose down ...
Good grief, someone else saw 'Titanic, the Musical'!
I was at a worship team meeting last night, and we're all still here - should I be worried about the spiritual state of my fellow worship team members? ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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In memoriam Erin Etheredge, 8 May 1971 - 30 December 2010. May her memory be eternal.
Posts: 8800 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Ah. It looks like I get to go to work today, then.
Posts: 19001 | From: Orphalese | Registered: May 2001
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
I knew it! the Rapture already happened, and I couldn't tell the difference. None of the people in my town disappeared. plain old business as usual around here.
Has it occurred to you that perhaps you've all been Left Behind™?
On the other hand, I guess compiling a list of those who haven't posted since yesterday should give us an idea of who the elect are.
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home...
Posts: 8731 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
Good... morning... this... is... a... pre-recorded... message... from... Ancient... Mariner... which... has... been... automatically... triggered... by... a... deadman's... handle... owing... to... the... fact... that... he... is... currently... being... raptured... ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) Have... a... nice... seven... years... suckers ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Posts: 2551 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Hah! A.M. is actually hunkered down in a bunker/wine cellar with a "Do not disturb for Seven Years" sign on the door knob.
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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams
Posts: 18501 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909
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Posted
Bearing in mind that-
quote:
President George W. Bush has announced that there will be a peace treaty dividing up Jerusalem before his term expires in early 2009.
-it's quite possible this site has already been mouldering in quietly forgotten embarrassment for at least 9 months.
But honestly, it's so full of little gems you could study it for ages. Like the one about the mansions, or:
quote:
Ezekiel 38 & 39 is prophesied to happen this year. SEE: Web Bots Predicts Major Middle East War by FALL 2009! & SEE: Illuminati Card Game Predicts the FUTURE!
"But honey, it's prophesied in Ezekiel! Uh - okay. The Web Bots say so! Oh, right ... the Illuminati have predicted it! In a card game!!"
Posts: 461 | From: The Instrumentality of Man | Registered: Aug 2007
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
I was at a worship team meeting last night, and we're all still here - should I be worried about the spiritual state of my fellow worship team members?
I was at a particularly depressing PCC meeting, compared to which the Rapture would be a positive relief!
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 2619 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
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Posted
Yep, there are weeks when I'd be pretty happy to be caught up in the air. And this is one of them. Although last week would have been better so I wouldn't have had to go to that funeral
(Yes I did think of not posting here today so that you'd think that I'd been taken)
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"Is she smooth or what? I mean, we are talking FRICTIONLESS BEARINGS here. If the beer here were that smooth, I'd be in the bar ALL DAY, dude, and I'm an AI construct, man!" - Demosthenes 0.9, brought to you by Eliab
Posts: 2425 | Registered: Nov 2005
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
I note the "September 21, 2009" dateline has disappeared from the website...
Perhaps we have a reprieve until Yom Kippur.
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3127 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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Otter
Shipmate
# 12020
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Posted
Well, no surprise that I wasn't raptured. And my most fluff-bunny (in the nice and likeable sense) co-worker is nowhere to be seen...
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The plural of "anecdote" is not "data", YMMV, limited-time offer, IANAL, no purchase required, and the state of CA has found this substance to cause cancer in laboratory aminals
Posts: 1401 | From: Chicago, IL 'burbs | Registered: Nov 2006
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Presbyopic
Shipmate
# 10596
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Posted
I wonder what excuse these doomsdayers give to themselves and others when each time they turn out to be wrong? If it were me, I'd be feeling like a prized idjit right about now...
Posts: 699 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
No doubt they declare it a Day of Thanksgiving that God has stayed his wrath, giving us poor unbelievers one more chance to turn from the error of our ways.
Now his mansion can be even bigger...
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3127 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Organ Builder:
In that case you are definitely in The Tribulation, leo--you've obviously been Left Behind.
Went to the pub afterwards - one of our group is an evangelical and she was also left behind.
Sainsbury's was a tribulation today - some of the new students shopping with their doting parents. Long queues.
Posts: 18628 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Crud.
I'm going to have an interesting time of it explaining why I didn't write anything last night.
Ah well, back to unraptured work . . .
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If I can't find a friendship problem, I'll MAKE a friendship problem!
Posts: 4884 | From: College Park/Brookland | Registered: Jan 2006
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
I don't see Brother Campbellite anywhere on board. And my mother didn't answer her phone this morning. It's not looking good!! ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 13988 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
I don't believe in the Raptu
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"Art and religion first; then philosophy; lastly science. That is the order of the great subjects of life, that's their order of importance." - Miss Jean Brodie
2013 blog: Wagner's 200th birthday!
Posts: 8347 | From: The North | Registered: Sep 2003
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Presbyopic:
I wonder what excuse these doomsdayers give to themselves and others when each time they turn out to be wrong?
They pass it off as a test of faith? Either God was testing them, or else they weren't holy enough so it didn't happen.
Posts: 19001 | From: Orphalese | Registered: May 2001
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
The rapture surly happened yesterday and I have proof. I went to the city and I was able to find a parking place first try. A sure sign that we have less people looking for a place to park.
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"Who am I ? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine."
Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Posts: 2019 | From: Third planet from the sun. | Registered: Nov 2004
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frin
Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9
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Posted
The website already has instances of revising the theory when the anticipated date failed to herald the beginning of the tribulation. For example:
quote:
Ever since we have found our key date of September 23, 2015, Yom Kippur, when Jesus returns to earth. Many of us (including myself) have been backdating 7-Jewish Years, 2520 days (7 x 360 day Jewish Year) to determine the start of the 7-Year Tribulation period. You see, once you find the start of the tribulation, you know that The Rapture is on or before the start date. Ok, once Rosh Hashanah passed by last year, everyone knew that the beginning of the 7-Year Tribulation had to be 2520 days from September 23, 2015 or October 29, 2008. That date came and went and there was still not a start to the 7-Year Tribulation! The final Jewish feast on the 2015 Jewish calendar was Hanukkah, December 7, 2015. This look like a great candidate, for it is the date that Jesus is anointed King of Kings in the rebuilt temple in Jerusalem after his return. So when you subtract the 2520 days from this date, you come to January 11, 2009 or 1/11. This was even better, everyone knew that this could be the day, especially since many people (including myself) were seeing “111” on a digital clock. When this date passed, I was not a happy camper; I want to go home to Heaven to be with Jesus!
What were we missing? I came across this scripture in Mathew:
Mathew 24:21-22: For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be. And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.
Jesus will use a shortened tribulation period and not the full-blown 2520-day tribulation. He said that if the full 2520-day tribulation were used, that not a single person would be left alive on planet earth!
continues with old testament prohephecies mentioning numbers of days to deduce the length of the shortened tribulation
There's endless capacity for revision of the prophecy if you change the proof texts on which you base the dateline calculations. Or if the illuminati play, for example, 'go fish' instead of Omaha Hold'em.
'frin
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"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.
Posts: 4469 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001
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mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
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Posted
Hey - Jesus is returning on my birthday!
Oh, but that means I'd better not drink too much. Never mind, I'll be too old to enjoy myself by then anyway.
Posts: 880 | From: Scotland | Registered: Aug 2003
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nickel
Shipmate
# 8363
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mrs whibley:
What I want to know (but couldn't bear to click any of the links) is how they decided that '7 years' means 'a period not less than 6 years 3 months'. Or can they simply not add up?
Those dates caught my eye. I work for the federal govt, and one of our regulations is that we keep a certain type of record for a period of 6 years 3 months for fraud/waste/abuse audits. We box the records up by a full year at a time, and mark the box for disposal in (or after) the 7th year. Works for our lowly purpose, but I would have hoped that anything 'heavenly' would have less red tape!
Posts: 490 | From: Virginia USA | Registered: Aug 2004
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