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Source: (consider it) Thread: FUCK YOU, CANCER
Porridge
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# 15405

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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I also agree completely with Apocalypso. A big fuck you.

What makes it worse, is the feeling of powerlessness. Even if you live healthily, don't smoke, eat good foods... Then it can still fuck you in the ass when you least expect it. It happened last week with someone I know.

I hope that one day they'll beat this sucker once and for all.

That's just it. This woman, a good friend, has done Everything Right -- exercise, healthy lifestyle, a few years my senior but looks a decade younger, etc. etc. A good, kind, funny, generous, intelligent, loving soul.

And there is. Nothing. Any. Of. Us. Can. Do.

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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Earwig

Pincered Beastie
# 12057

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Yup. Today brings one colleague's funeral, and diagnosis of another's breast cancer.

Fuck you cancer, and fuck you 2011. You are pretty shit so far.

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kentishmaid
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# 4767

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Yup, Apocalypso. My Mum ate healthily, walked most places, didn't smoke, barely drank etc etc. And yet there are people who've smoked 40 a day (for example) who live well into their 80s. It just doesn't seem fair.

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"Who'll be the lady, who'll be the lord, when we are ruled by the love of one another?"

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Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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On behalf of the friend I went to visit this past weekend, who is in the last stages of dying with cancer now that his liver is shutting down -- we had a wonderful weekend together and then I completely broke down crying saying goodbye, realizing it would be the last goodbye -- I would like to join in saying a hearty FUCK YOU, CANCER.

(And having had another friend drop dead of a completely unexpected massive heart attack a couple of months ago, I do agree, there are different kinds of pain for the survivors associated with losing someone slowly and losing someone suddenly. I appreciate having the time to say goodbye to the friend with cancer, and regret not having told the friend who died with the heart attack how much I appreciated him -- but I do think cancer, with its often slow and painful progress, offers a special kind of hell).

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Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54

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I HATE YOU CANCER for taking
my grandfather,
then my grandmother,
then my friends Darlene and Bonnie,
and then Dear Molly here on the ship.

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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................

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Lady A

Narnian Lady
# 3126

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I despise the cancer that took my sister-in-law and destroyed her family for years. The cancer that took my stepfather and has left my wonderful mom alone for the rest of her life curled up crying in the loneliness of the night. The cancer that wrung the life from my mother-in-law and left my father-in-law in a big house all alone. Whatever hell is, I'm sure cancer is there.
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comet

Snowball in Hell
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feeling a little blue over this tonight. might as well join in.

FUCK YOU CANCER for stealing my sister. and my nephew. and my cousin. and my friend. and trying to take another. I can't fucking stand it any more.

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Evensong
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# 14696

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My dad died of bowel cancer (and complications) in November aged 82.

He was prepared to go. Said he had had enough.

We had plenty of time to prepare ourselves mentally.

I took him to hospital on Saturday because he was having trouble breathing.

Had electric shock treatment to stabilize his heart on Monday.

Doctor told us the procedure went well and his heart had returned to a steady pace.

He woke up early Tuesday morning and asked the nurse to remove his oxygen mask.

He died shortly after that.

It's not so much fuck you cancer in my case......but gosh death is odd........

I thought I was prepared for the loss.

I wasn't. I'm not.

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a theological scrapbook

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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Nobody ever is.

Death is an awesome and overwhelming thing. We have no understanding of it, what actually happens to us; to whatever makes us, "us." And yet, we all die.

Yorick asked whether or not the fear of death is a driving force for Christianity (and, I suppose, religion in general.) My answer is probably not as we never actually think about death until it is shoved in our faces by the death of a loved one.

Evensong, the pain will never go away entirely, but I pray that eventually you will be able to celebrate the love and life of your father more than mourn his loss.

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Evensong
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# 14696

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Nicely said Tortuf. Nicely said. All of it.

And thanks.

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a theological scrapbook

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
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quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Yorick asked whether or not the fear of death is a driving force for Christianity (and, I suppose, religion in general.) My answer is probably not as we never actually think about death until it is shoved in our faces by the death of a loved one.

I seriously doubt that. Yes, bereavement brings death into such sharp focus we’re forced to see it, but although otherwise we may turn our eyes away, we still know it’s there, waiting for us just round the corner, as sure as sure can be.




(Did you feel that little twist in your gut?)

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این نیز بگذرد

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Ariel
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# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Yorick asked whether or not the fear of death is a driving force for Christianity (and, I suppose, religion in general.) My answer is probably not as we never actually think about death until it is shoved in our faces by the death of a loved one.

Well, not entirely true. You might have to confront your own mortality at some point – even if it’s only narrowly escaping being knocked down by a car at a zebra crossing, or a milestone birthday, or something. There are more triggers for this than you think, and they don’t all involve health problems.
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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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I don't fear death itself, but I do worry about the pain and suffering before death - cancer is nasty like that because it is rarely or never an easy death.

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Fineline
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# 12143

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
You might have to confront your own mortality at some point – even if it’s only narrowly escaping being knocked down by a car at a zebra crossing, or a milestone birthday, or something. There are more triggers for this than you think, and they don’t all involve health problems.

I agree. I first became aware of my own mortality at 16 years old, when visiting the catacombs in Paris - seeing all those skeletons made it very concretely obvious to me that this is how we all end up.

I have also become very aware of my own mortality in a different way from working in care homes for elderly people - this makes me aware of what dying is like when people are still alive. The whole decaying process, and the various things that can go wrong with the body and mind.

When loved ones die, this doesn't make me think about my own mortality, but it makes me think about the person who died and how I don't want them to be dead, and about family and friends in general. It's a different sort of experience.

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
(Did you feel that little twist in your gut?)

Nope
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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
(Did you feel that little twist in your gut?)

I think you must be (relatively) young yet. Not at that age where Death more or less introduces himself - even takes a practice swipe at you (yes, cancer in my case). I not only know I will die, but have a fair idea when and of what. Not that it's caused me to change my religious views a whit.
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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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It seems to me that this thread is to FUCK CANCER

Surely discussions of mortality could belong elsewhere? Like not in Hell?

As it is, I am sorely tempted to move this thread to All Saints.

PeteC
Hell Host


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Even more so than I was before

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Janine

The Endless Simmer
# 3337

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Pleeeeze change the title if you do.

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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *

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multipara
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# 2918

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Prolly wouldn't make a whole heap of difference if the title were changed; the sentiments remain.

Come to think of it, someone could start a whole new "fuck you- motor neurone disease/multiple sclerosis/end-stage emphysema" thread but some how I doubt it would carry the same punch as an extended rant against what they call in the US "the big C".


Just my 2 bob's worth,

m

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quod scripsi, scripsi

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by multipara:
Come to think of it, someone could start a whole new "fuck you- motor neurone disease/multiple sclerosis/end-stage emphysema" thread

I did once. Now I just throw tantrums, stomp my feet and scream. when that passes and I realize that it didn't do any good, I move on.

that came out wrong - I dont mean that venting about cancer or any other thing isn't valuable. I guess - at some point you have to blow past that part or it eats you up inside.

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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Nicolemr
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# 28

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I was actually thinking of starting a "Fuck you, Alzheimer's and other dementias" thread, but I guess I won't.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

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multipara
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# 2918

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Comet,

amen to that.

One of my dearest mates from med school is in the throes of motor neurone disease ( and it is taking its time) and if all she can say is "oh bugger" who am I to argue....

m

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quod scripsi, scripsi

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LutheranChik
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# 9826

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Over the last week I found out that two of my high school classmates (we've reconnected through Facebook) have been diagnosed with cancer --at least one a very aggressive cancer.

Meanwhile, an online friend of mine who beat melanoma once, then had it reoccur and metastasize -- someone who has been through the most dangerous and debilitating chemo -- got the bad news this week that the cancer has likely spread to her brain.

FUCK CANCER indeed. I am so sad right now.

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Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com

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Edgeman
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# 12867

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quote:
Originally posted by LutheranChik:


I hate cancer. It's one of those things that can make me question the existence of a good God.

Me too.Loosing my dad last summer from it and seeing two good friends get it, one terminal almost did it for me until two months ago.

I try not to think about it but sometimes I think it's certain that I'll die from it too. Every single person in my family that has died since the 50's, died from cancer. It really scares my mother, but there's nothing we can do about it. You can live a 'healthy' life with healthy foods and exercise like my grandmother and still die from it. You can be a holy, virtuous man like my friend from seminary and still get it.

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http://sacristyxrat.tumblr.com/

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Porridge
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# 15405

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AAAAAAHHHHHHHH . . .

I wish I knew how to do this. I don't know how to do this. Making plans for August, when she has a family shindig in Germany, and we all keep talking about getting her well enough to go, and we all also know she won't be going.

How do we live in this moment, when we have to count every one?

I HATE THIS. FUCK YOU, CANCER.

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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Any chance of moving the shindig forward / getting relatives over to her instead of her over to relatives ?

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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

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Porridge
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# 15405

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No. A much smaller, much quieter version of the shindig already took place here. The sheer numbers involved mean the German-branch shindig has to take place there, and some folks central to the shindig can't do it until August.

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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Adeodatus
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# 4992

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Apocalypso, I know nothing about your situation except what you've posted here, so what I'm about to say may be completely off-target. Sorry if it is.

Sometimes - sometimes - I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve. Often it's something like a family wedding, the birth of a grandchild, something like that. I knew one magnificently stubborn man who was determined to see his self-designed conservatory built - and did!

So if there is the slightest, slightest hope that she might get to the August shindig - keep hoping. Even when cancer kills, sometimes the human spirit wins.

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"What is broken, repair with gold."

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve.

That would be a lovely sentiment if it wasn’t wrong (and therefore arguably dangerous).

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این نیز بگذرد

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Porridge
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# 15405

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quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
Apocalypso, I know nothing about your situation except what you've posted here, so what I'm about to say may be completely off-target. Sorry if it is.

Sometimes - sometimes - I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve. Often it's something like a family wedding, the birth of a grandchild, something like that. I knew one magnificently stubborn man who was determined to see his self-designed conservatory built - and did!

So if there is the slightest, slightest hope that she might get to the August shindig - keep hoping. Even when cancer kills, sometimes the human spirit wins.

Thank you, Adeodatus.

I am so sick at heart, and I really do not know how to be with her right now, and every time I visit, I come home and and gnash my teeth, because it feels like we're all lying -- to her, to each other, and to ourselves.

Your words put our hopes, however false or flimsy they may be, in a different light: there's nothing wrong with a little hope.

Thank you for your response. It may not do her any good, but I sure needed it.

--------------------
Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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Someone pissed in Yorkie's kibble again.

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Even more so than I was before

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Porridge
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# 15405

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quote:
Originally posted by Yorick:
quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
I've known people with cancer survive against outrageous odds, just because there's a short- to medium-term goal that they're determined to achieve.

That would be a lovely sentiment if it wasn’t wrong (and therefore arguably dangerous).
Yorick, she is getting treatment -- the best available for a very rare form of cancer. God, has she been getting treatment. Multiple surgeries. Multiple bouts of chemo.

But there's this from your link:

quote:
"Our findings do not mean that having a positive mental attitude isn't a good thing generally. People with a positive mental outlook are more likely to comply with their treatment, suffer less anxiety and depression, and have a better quality of life – they just won't live longer."
And I am grateful to you and the doc who wrote it for that little snippet.

[ 07. March 2011, 13:38: Message edited by: Apocalypso ]

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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Someone pissed in Yorkie's kibble again.

Not at all; I'm in fine mood. (But thanks for your interest).

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این نیز بگذرد

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Adeodatus
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# 4992

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Apologies for the following, replying to Yorick, which might be too Purgatorial for this neighbourhood.

I’m familiar with that paper by Petticrew et al., Yorick. In fact it paralleled some very small scale work I was doing at the time. Which is why I've just been able to unearth my copy from the archaeologist’s paradise that is my desk.

First, it should be noted that Petticrew's inclusion criteria were pretty narrowly drawn, and that although a number of coping strategies were mentioned, the study focussed on the dichotomy between "fighting spirit" on the one hand and "helplessness/hopelessness" on the other. "Active or problem-focused coping" – the nearest they get to goal-orientation – is mentioned, but isn't given much attention in the paper or in the reporting of it. There are some other methodological problems with the study, primarily from my point of view that it fails to discriminate between patients' different experiences of cancer, its treatment, or of their other sources of support and help.

But rather than reading newspaper articles, look at what the paper itself says:

quote:
Good evidence in this subject is still scarce as there have been few large methodologically sound studies. Although the relation is biologically plausible, there is at present little scientific basis for the popular lay and clinical belief that psychological coping styles have an important influence on overall or event-free survival in patients with cancer.
That's academic-speak for "we didn’t find much, and the jury’s still out". Difficult to see how you get from that to the newspaper headlines.

Finally, Petticrew et al. attracted some criticism at the time, which makes interesting reading. Unfortunately, my own studies changed direction a bit in the early noughties, and I’m not sure what developments there have been since. But I doubt if that 2002 paper was the last word on the subject. Certainly the concepts involved relate to studies of the placebo/nocebo effects, which have had a lot of attention lately.

And when all's said and done, I did (rather pointedly) say "sometimes".

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"What is broken, repair with gold."

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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You said very clearly that you’ve known people to survive cancer against outrageous odds ‘because’ they had a ‘goal’. This is a massive claim, and I can imagine scenarios where it might cause harm for people to hear it. Indeed, like you, I also have anecdotes, including personal knowledge of people who have believed your sort of claim and suffered and even died prematurely as a terrible consequence.

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این نیز بگذرد

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Adeodatus
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# 4992

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[Roll Eyes] I suppose it was too much for me to expect "Oh shit, I've bumped into somebody who knows what he's talking about."

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"What is broken, repair with gold."

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Yorick

Infinite Jester
# 12169

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Exactly. You should know better.

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این نیز بگذرد

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Beautiful Dreamer
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# 10880

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Cancer has got to be one of the most horrible things ever created. I don't know who hated humanity enough to subject people to it, but it's terrible...my mom had it, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Not very Hellish of me, but [Votive] Apocalypso.

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More where that came from
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

Posts: 6027 | From: Outside Atlanta, GA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Flausa

Mad Woman
# 3466

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Normally I want to poke people with a stick when they resurrect languishing threads, but never does a day go by when I don't want to say a grand Fuck You to Cancer. So, for once, thank you, Dutiful Beamer, and Cancer, Fuck You!
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017

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Yes. with a 6 foot pole.

And, I'm starting a purg thread on 'positive thinking.' (and, 'don't blame the patient.')

Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged
nickel
Shipmate
# 8363

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Not only does cancer take our fathers, mothers, extended family, friends, colleagues, etc -- it takes our pets. No, it's not the same as losing a human contact, but it still hurts to look at my Lola, loping across the yard on three legs now, and knowing that this summer will be her last.
Posts: 547 | From: Virginia USA | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106

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This might be a little close to thread necromancy, in which case I'm sorry.

But I'll add a fuck you cancer to all the rest. Fuck you for hanging about over my mum and all the rest of us like a big black hanging thing for 14 years, just waiting until there was a ray of sunshine so you could appear and crap all over our subdued optimism again.

I know statistically speaking she shouldn't still be here, not by a long shot. It's amazing how a woman can survive on pure rage alone isn't it? (And Yorick, I take your point about attitude and survival, I suspect you're probably right, but I'm not feeling particularly rational today).

But now you're gunning for her big time, aren't you? It looks like it's all going to go horribly wrong, very quickly and unpleasantly now.

And fuck you for coming for my Dad's wife. You know, he's the one with the huge history of depression. The one that's been saying for years that he isn't equipped to cope with this. Not that any of us are, really. Oh crap.

[ 28. April 2011, 08:43: Message edited by: Jemima the 9th ]

Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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This thread will never die - unless cancer is cured. There is so much cancer in my life (let alone anyone else) that although it may be dormant, the rage is always seething up.

Rest easy.

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Even more so than I was before

Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106

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Thank you.
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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Thanks so much, fucking cancer for taking my friend's mother and then giving her brother a diagnosis of cancer two weeks ago and then killing him last week. Awfully fucked-up of you, you lousy bastard. Oh, and thanks for killing another friend's father this week. Fucking fucked-up fucker! [Mad]

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged
Uncle Pete

Loyaute me lie
# 10422

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Another checkmark on the cancer list coming through!

I think life was easier when we didn't understand the symptoms. But that's not helping anyone

[Mad]

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Even more so than I was before

Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
The Bede's American Successor

Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042

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Enough of it. All of you.

We are all going to die of something. The leading cause of death is life. You might as well say "fuck life."

My brother is still around today because an experimental MS treatment worked back in 1991. He can't work. His short term memory isn't mush--it is non-existent. He is angry at me all the time because I now control his money, but he is able to bounce checks by the 8th of the month when he gets his money on the 1st and 3rd.

My mom died last November after a year's worth of decline following a broken ankle. Being married for 59 years, my father about killed himself trying to make her happy by moving from St. Louis, MO, to Everett, WA. Now I have an 82 year old father with COPD that is trying to figure out what to do with his life in the Pacific Northwest without his wife.

My mom's sister had a serious stroke Thursday evening-Friday morning. They aren't sure when it happened, because they found her in bed on Friday. She's in Missouri Baptist Hospital, where my cousin is an OR nurse. The last I've heard is that she is in the intensive care unit and not responding to people. (May MoBaptist's hospice care be as wonderful as what my mother received from Providence here in Everett, should that be the outcome.)

I'm juggling everyone else's problems. Yea, and it was my mom who died last November. I'm still processing what I heard last summer from my radiologist: that all my doctors did not expect me to live when I had cancer back in 2003. At least I'm working.

I could say, fuck cancer. Fuck congestive heart failure. Fuck MS (for you too, Comet). Fuck strokes. But, why deny what is a part of my life?

Yes, I'm talking about denial here. I can not make cancer, coronary disease, MS, diabetes, COPD, and all the rest go away. I have to embrace it as a part of my life if I am going to live my life.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I am a cancer survivor. Like the rest of life, it isn't fun. Life isn't fun.

Life has joy. Life has pain. Life is. For all of us. We can choose to participate, or we can choose to go sulk in the corner.

I don't wish trial and travail in the transitory life on anyone. I don't need to, as it will happen to everyone one day.

All I can do is to suggest you hold my hand and I'll hold yours. We are going in, together. And there will be another Person with us in the furnace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxl5xM0IpFg

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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.

—Ezekiel 16.49

Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
The Bede's American Successor

Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042

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And, shortly after writing that, I received a telephone call. My aunt died.

It really doesn't make any difference what it is. It is Death. And we are all going through it to come out the other side.

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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.

—Ezekiel 16.49

Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
CuppaT
Shipmate
# 10523

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God bless you, TBAS, for your posts. Cancer and such produces huge sadness in me and grief, but I am not much good with anger, never was. I don't know who or what to get angry at! But I am going through the sadness part with a dear friend now again. Pain is hard.

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Stand at the brink of the abyss of despair, and when you see that you cannot bear it any longer, draw back a little and have a cup of tea.
~Elder Sophrony

Posts: 919 | From: the edge of the Ozarks | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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quote:
I don't wish trial and travail in the transitory life on anyone. I don't need to, as it will happen to everyone one day.
Can I have your Kilt when you go?

All the best, Pyx_e.

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It is better to be Kind than right.

Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged



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