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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Asserting the equality of women's pee
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Mary LA
Shipmate
# 17040
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Posted
Went into the old nuclear laboratory at the bottom of my handbag and fished out my bolt-upright-pissing device and napalm activator. Compost heap is blooming and steaming away.
Should we start talking about why menstrual blood is so good for roses or would the men present feel excluded?
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“I often wonder if we were all characters in one of God's dreams.”
― Muriel Spark
Posts: 499 | From: Africa | Registered: Apr 2012
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
Should we start talking about why menstrual blood is so good for roses or would the men present feel excluded?
Is it? How interesting! I never knew that!
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
Should we start talking about why menstrual blood is so good for roses or would the men present feel excluded?
So, let me get this straight. You've got a women-only monopoly on roses, but you get all outraged at the idea that men might be better with compost heaps?
Suddenly, all those complaints about how feminism is a one-way thing that lets women have men's roles, but men can't have women's roles, is starting to make sense.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Mary LA
Shipmate
# 17040
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Posted
Orfeo, I don't know that male urine is better on compost heaps, I think any urine is a good idea.
And feel free to bleed on my gallica roses. For all I know, menstrual blood may not be any better than ordinary ho-hum run-of-the-mill fresh blood although the iron in menstrual blood may be what roses crave.
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“I often wonder if we were all characters in one of God's dreams.”
― Muriel Spark
Posts: 499 | From: Africa | Registered: Apr 2012
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
I always felt the battle of the sexes was interesting , but my goodness the battle of the the body fluids is so much more so .......
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Steve H
Shipmate
# 17102
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
Should we start talking about why menstrual blood is so good for roses or would the men present feel excluded?
Does it turn them red, and make them bloom once a month?
vaguely related joke:
SHE: How many pre-mentrual women does it take to change a light-bulb?
HE: I don't know. How many?
SHE: Five.
HE: Why five?
SHE: BECAUSE IT JUST FUCKING WELL DOES, ALL RIGHT?
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Hold to Christ, and for the rest, be totally uncommitted.
Herbert Butterfield.
Posts: 439 | From: Hemel Hempstead, Herts | Registered: May 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
For all I know, menstrual blood may not be any better than ordinary ho-hum run-of-the-mill fresh blood although the iron in menstrual blood may be what roses crave.
I'm not sure I'm that happy with the idea of blood-craving plants. Particularly ones with really sharp thorns. Attack of the Killer Hybrid Teas - don't say you weren't warned.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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BessLane
Shipmate
# 15176
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
Should we start talking about why menstrual blood is so good for roses or would the men present feel excluded?
Whereas my father-in-law asked my husband to ask me to avoid going near the truck garden during "my time" because it is a well known fact that a woman on her period will kill cucumbers if she so mmuch as walks by them. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) I may kill the little fuckers by stomping on the plants but I doubt the powerful ju-ju of my menstrual cycle is going to cause one lick of difference in the crop yield.
[ 04. June 2012, 13:48: Message edited by: BessHiggs ]
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It's all on me and I won't tell it.
formerly BessHiggs
Posts: 1388 | From: Yorkville, TN | Registered: Sep 2009
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Inger
Shipmate
# 15285
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by BessHiggs:
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
Should we start talking about why menstrual blood is so good for roses or would the men present feel excluded?
Whereas my father-in-law asked my husband to ask me to avoid going near the truck garden during "my time" because it is a well known fact that a woman on her period will kill cucumbers if she so mmuch as walks by them. I may kill the little fuckers by stomping on the plants but I doubt the powerful ju-ju of my menstrual cycle is going to cause one lick of difference in the crop yield.
Some years ago I heard an interview on Radio 4 with a sausage maker. He declared that he never employed women in the actual sausage making, because it was a well-known fact that a menstruating woman would turn the sausage mix sour.
This was before I'd discovered SoF. I might well have started a Hell thread about it otherwise.
Posts: 332 | From: Newcastle, UK | Registered: Nov 2009
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Must have something to do with the shapes of particular food items? Bananas affected also?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
Is anyone else thinking of Audrey in the Little Shop of Horrors?
Yep, already singing along. "I'm a mean green mother* from outer space!" And you mean Audrey II, of course. OliviaG
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"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"
Posts: 5430 | From: Caprica City | Registered: Jul 2005
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Inger
Shipmate
# 15285
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Must have something to do with the shapes of particular food items? Bananas affected also?
Good point! I never thought of that.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 332 | From: Newcastle, UK | Registered: Nov 2009
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nicolemrw:
For that matter what about female animals peeing in the wild?
Don't know about the wild - but my German Shepherd bitch's urine certainly left very dead looking circles of grass in the lawn - whereas my current dog - a male's does not do quite the same damage. ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Must have something to do with the shapes of particular food items? Bananas affected also?
Or in Marvin's case mushrooms.
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Must have something to do with the shapes of particular food items? Bananas affected also?
Or in Marvin's case mushrooms.
[ur=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phallus_impudicus]Like these ones?[/url]
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
quote:
Originally posted by Nicolemrw:
For that matter what about female animals peeing in the wild?
Don't know about the wild - but my German Shepherd bitch's urine certainly left very dead looking circles of grass in the lawn - whereas my current dog - a male's does not do quite the same damage.
At last! Real science!
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Two one-liners for the price of one:
quote:
Originally posted by Honest Ron Bacardi:
just remember to wash your veg. thoroughly first.
A typo here could have been disastrous.
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
That is an unnatural device and, thus, must be forbidden by the RCC.
As long as you're open to the possibility of urinating sitting down, I think it's okay.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Two one-liners for the price of one:
quote:
Originally posted by Honest Ron Bacardi:
just remember to wash your veg. thoroughly first.
A typo here could have been disastrous.
For perfectly innocent reasons I've been watching a 'Sticky Vicky from Benidorm' youtube video before I clicked on this thread - I can't say how much this post resonated with that experience.
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
on't know about the wild - but my German Shepherd bitch's urine certainly left very dead looking circles of grass in the lawn - whereas my current dog - a male's does not do quite the same damage.
My old dog can no longer lift his leg, so he pees girlie-style, plenty of scorched grass here!
eta - Can I say how I am enjoying using the word 'pee' here? It was considered very rude in our household so it feels naughty to me.
[ 05. June 2012, 10:06: Message edited by: Boogie ]
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Mary LA
Shipmate
# 17040
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Posted
The word 'pee' does have a naughty sound. I went out just now and looked at the places where my dogs pee on the grass and there is no gender difference between the bleachiness of patches, perhaps because all three of them like to pee on the same spots over and over again.
Presumably the bleaching relates to the ammonia content and the frequency of peeing. So we should take care to pee all around the compost heap and not just in the same corner.
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“I often wonder if we were all characters in one of God's dreams.”
― Muriel Spark
Posts: 499 | From: Africa | Registered: Apr 2012
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Steve H
Shipmate
# 17102
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Posted
The word "pee"
Is slightly naughty, and very twee.
What's amiss
About calling it "piss"?
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Hold to Christ, and for the rest, be totally uncommitted.
Herbert Butterfield.
Posts: 439 | From: Hemel Hempstead, Herts | Registered: May 2012
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Steve H:
The word "pee"
Is slightly naughty, and very twee.
What's amiss
About calling it "piss"?
Haha - piss was even naughtier in our household!
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Inger
Shipmate
# 15285
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Steve H:
The word "pee"
Is slightly naughty, and very twee.
What's amiss
About calling it "piss"?
Not as twee as "wee"...
Posts: 332 | From: Newcastle, UK | Registered: Nov 2009
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Steve H
Shipmate
# 17102
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Posted
All right, then:
The word "pee"
Is slightly naughty, and very twee (but not as twee as "wee").
What's amiss
With calling it "piss"?
(Or even, if you're very brash,
A "slash".)
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Hold to Christ, and for the rest, be totally uncommitted.
Herbert Butterfield.
Posts: 439 | From: Hemel Hempstead, Herts | Registered: May 2012
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Mary LA
Shipmate
# 17040
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Posted
Love it! You couldn't give us a clerihew about poo?
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“I often wonder if we were all characters in one of God's dreams.”
― Muriel Spark
Posts: 499 | From: Africa | Registered: Apr 2012
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Not in Hell you don't! If you want to play rhyming games go to the Circus!
PeteC
Hell Host
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Stats show that most women do wash their hands, so worry not.... though given our anatomy there is normally no reason an unwashed hand would expose you to, er, hormones.
You don't wipe, then?
To quote Shakespeare:
"Nay, sir, I [do wipe but] am not such a fool but I can keep my hand dry."
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Steve H
Shipmate
# 17102
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mary LA:
Love it! You couldn't give us a clerihew about poo?
Poo
Is slightly naughty and very twee too (and thus a fit subject for a clerihew)
I prefer to call it
Shit.
(Yah boo sux, PeteC.)
[ 05. June 2012, 17:21: Message edited by: Steve H ]
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Hold to Christ, and for the rest, be totally uncommitted.
Herbert Butterfield.
Posts: 439 | From: Hemel Hempstead, Herts | Registered: May 2012
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
I feel quiet thanks for all the years of screwing up people's cucumbers and causing their compost heaps to rise up in rebellion and making their credit cards de-magnetize and all the other mischief I've apparently been up to since I Became Fertile 'way back in... goodness. It was sometime before the Bicentennial.
How powerful I have been, all along. What a fool I have been to look forward to menopause.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Steve H:
(Yah boo sux, PeteC.)
Are you having trouble with a host post again? Take it to the Styx. Another one like that, and I will flag you for the Admins to deal with.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Steve H
Shipmate
# 17102
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
quote:
Originally posted by Steve H:
(Yah boo sux, PeteC.)
Are you having trouble with a host post again? Take it to the Styx. Another one like that, and I will flag you for the Admins to deal with.
Recovering well from the sense-of-humour bypass, are we?
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Hold to Christ, and for the rest, be totally uncommitted.
Herbert Butterfield.
Posts: 439 | From: Hemel Hempstead, Herts | Registered: May 2012
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
Arguing with or ignoring official Host posts is not allowed, even in Hell.
You've been warned about this before and now you've run out of chances.
Spike
SoF Admin
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
"Nay, sir, I [do wipe but] am not such a fool but I can keep my hand dry."
An ass. Not such an ass.
And yes, I am full of them.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Kelly, I was reminded of that thread too.
Haven't felt quite the same about Jane Austen ever since...
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Dang, did I do well screwing up only one word in that quote from memory! (Pats self on back)
If only I could remember what play it was from.....
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
All this stuff about the benefits of peeing in the compost / bushes, if only PCCs had known: it would have saved them so much expense which arose from listening to the 'We need an indoor loo in our Grade 1 listed church, and we need it now!' (but are not prepared to stump up the money) brigade. Perhaps that's the secret which churchgoers for the previous 2,000 years all knew but didn't pass on to the present generation?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Dang, did I do well screwing up only one word in that quote from memory! (Pats self on back)
Only given the context ass was a particularly fine word to screw up on.
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
If only I could remember what play it was from.....
Oh asinine lamb, a quick bright thing come to confusion.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
For God's sake, don't get anyone started about peeing in the shower. People flip right the hell out over that.
My wife and I have taken to showering together, perhaps this is why the hair on my legs has stopped growing.
AtB Pyx_e
Are you sure she hasn't been spiking your shower gel with Veet?
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
2. For God's sake, don't get anyone started about peeing in the shower. People flip right the hell out over that.
Jeez, it's the same drain ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
And it's good for the environment - saves water.
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Chamois
Shipmate
# 16204
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
I feel quiet thanks for all the years of screwing up people's cucumbers and causing their compost heaps to rise up in rebellion and making their credit cards de-magnetize and all the other mischief I've apparently been up to since I Became Fertile 'way back in... goodness. It was sometime before the Bicentennial.
How powerful I have been, all along. What a fool I have been to look forward to menopause.
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Makes you understand why women take up witchcraft, doesn't it? After putting up with all the shit, dance naked in the field at the right phase of the moon and maybe, just maybe, you'll zap some geezer's cucumbers to kingdom come!
And if it doesn't actually work, you can still scare him.....
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
Posts: 978 | From: Hill of roses | Registered: Feb 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
For God's sake, don't get anyone started about peeing in the shower. People flip right the hell out over that.
Yup
Awesome beyond all words.
To return to my original point, if female pee was really that toxic (minus additives), wouldn't somebody have figured that out long before now? Wouldn't we have stories on record about proletarian farm patriarchs marching their sullen wives out to the field to pee on the weeds? Because that would be the obvious outgrowth of such a discovery.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by passer:
[tangent]
By word association I was reminded of this thread.
[/tangent]
Thank you for that, passer. I just spent about an hour reading through it.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
To return to my original point, if female pee was really that toxic (minus additives), wouldn't somebody have figured that out long before now?
If female pee led to male impotency (as per OP) them men who gave women oral sex would all become impotent. Don't see that happening. There bound to be some residue left in that area.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
To return to my original point, if female pee was really that toxic (minus additives), wouldn't somebody have figured that out long before now?
If female pee led to male impotency (as per OP) them men who gave women oral sex would all become impotent. Don't see that happening. There bound to be some residue left in that area.
Ew. Just... EW. EWWWWW.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Like fellatio's a picnic.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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