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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: How concerned is God with what we do in the bathroom?
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
This is a pond difference--in many British houses, there are two rooms, one with a bathtub and one with a toilet (I discovered this when I went to live in a British colony in 1964). This is unheard of in the US--all the plumbing goes in one room here. The room where you take a shit is also the room where you take a bath. It seems more delicate to refer to it by its bathing function. That isn't the case in many other countries.
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
Does God still love me if I groan, "Ohhhh, Godddddddd! Please stop the pain?!" when I'm having a particularly bad... uhh... instance of irritable bowel syndrome?
Does my guardian angel stand by me and comfort me when... okay, you get the picture! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Bob Two-Owls:
As any fule kno, the school lavatory (US: bathroom) is the best place for junior satanism. If you are going to pledge your soul to the devil over the solemn sacrifice of a packet of fruit gums burned with a stolen bic lighter, you might as well choose a place that smells appropriate. And the fact that teachers never, ever venture in there makes it all the more attractive.
I don't suppose that God approves of many things that go on in the school bogs...
How interesting! I remember some of the nuns in my grade school calling the bathroom the lavatory. I always thought they were saying "laboratory". Welllll, maybe it is, in a way... ha ha... anyway, I digress...
The schoolgirls shared the bathroom with the nuns but there was a divider between our toilets and theirs. The brave and naughty girls would dare each other to stand on the toilet seats and peer over the partition to see what the nuns were doing. We all wondered if nuns had to poop, like us, mere mortals! ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
This is a pond difference--in many British houses, there are two rooms, one with a bathtub and one with a toilet (I discovered this when I went to live in a British colony in 1964). This is unheard of in the US--all the plumbing goes in one room here. The room where you take a shit is also the room where you take a bath. It seems more delicate to refer to it by its bathing function. That isn't the case in many other countries.
Old British houses were built with with no toilet or bathing facilities, just a kitchen sink (cold water only) and an outdoor thunderbox. The outdoor loo had no hand wash facilities.
Things got better in the 20th Century, hot and cold running water and typically a bath, hand basin and loo in one room. By the 1950s the loo, at least in more expensive houses, had become a separate room but with no hand wash facilities in the serarate loo room, you have to use at least two door handles before you can wash your hands.
A modern house will typically have a combined loo, bath hand basin room upstairs, and a loo hand basin room downstairs.
However 'going to the bathroom; is an understood term for using the loo, even where it it a separate room.
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Last ever sig ...
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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
But yes, we need to hold out for the European usage, if only to avoid absurdities like talking about a dog 'going to the bathroom'.
Which would be a nonsense, because the lamb is on the throne, as any fule kno.
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Bathroom = the place where you have a bath (The clue is in the title)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Do I have to keep changing the name of the room depending on what I plan to do?
Be right back, honey, I'm going to the pissroom.
Before you set the table, go to the handwashingroom.
And of course if this is true of the bathroom, it's true of every other room in the house, right? If we don't intend to sleep, but still wish to use the bed, we're going to the fuckroom.
This could get fun.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
A good point!
We have three bathrooms.
One has bath, loo and washbasin. One has shower, loo and washbasin. The other has loo and washbasisn (downstairs).
They are all bathrooms - in fact I am procrastinating cleaning the downstairs bathroom as we speak.
But the term originated from the fact that all had baths, not showers and that the loo was often still outside (we had an outside loo in the yard when I was little - just a tin bath indoors)
And the yard is a yard - not a garden.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
The issue vexing my soul presently is that of God's view on whether bathing or showering is scriptural. I'm in need of wise counsel on this one.
Miffy, you need worry no more. Neither are.
Bathing and being sprinkled with water belongs firmly in the Old Covenant, something that people who had incurred ritual pollution had to do before returning to the camp. Bathing, showering, washing, belongs to those whited sepulchres who are clean on the outside but are polluted on the inside.
Naaman the Syrian was commanded to bathe seven times in the Jordan but he was an heathen.
Apart from baptism, is there mention of any person in the New Testament either bathing or showering? In the Roman Empire, the baths were a resort for all sorts of indulgence and iniquity. If we were meant to bath or shower, obviously there would have been a clear instruction on the point.
St Paul was shipwrecked, and that was salt water. St Peter, who we all know was the first Pope, starting to sink through lack of faith, whereas Jesus walked on water, not in it.
Besides, how better can we offer an odour to the Lord than in our self-offering. Only imagine what shame rests on the person who has no odour to offer or who disguises their own with some false odour purchased in a bottle.
Is this counsel wise enough for your requirements?
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Unless of course your bathroom taps deliver hot and cold blood of the lamb.
Or you have the River Jordan running through it.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Enoch - how could you forget the feet?
John 13:10
“Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.”
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
Do some of you read the Bible while sitting on the toilet? I was chatting to a Muslim on an online forum once, and he said that a Muslim would never, ever read the Qu'ran in this way. A Muslim has to be clean when they reads the Qu'ran, or when they pray.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
If it's 'read, mark, learn and inwardly digest' - then we know what digestion leads to.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
As Madeleine L'Engle said to a young man of similar not-on-the-shitter views, "That is a very unincarnational remark."
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
The issue vexing my soul presently is that of God's view on whether bathing or showering is scriptural. I'm in need of wise counsel on this one.
Bathing is scriptual. Bathsheba, after whom the bath was named, was known to go onto the roof in order to clean herself.
If you try this make sure that the slope of the roof is shallow enough for the water to stay in and that there are no perverted kings looking on.
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Last ever sig ...
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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Enoch - how could you forget the feet?
John 13:10
“Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.”
Well said Boogie. I stand corrected. But doesn't that still mean we are forbidden to wash anything above the ankles?
As for Bathsheba, look what happened to her.
If she hadn't bathed, David would not have been tempted, she would never have given way, and she and Uriah might have lived to a contented, if rather smelly, old age. We shall never know.
As soon as I thought of this next one, I couldn't resist it. You'll wish I had. Perhaps if I'd washed less over the years, I would have been stronger in the face of temptation. See where washing gets you and be warned.
It's quite clear.
The Lord delighteth in a whiffy Miffy.
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Perhaps if I'd washed less over the years, I would have been stronger in the face of temptation. See where washing gets you and be warned.
It's quite clear.
The Lord delighteth in a whiffy Miffy.
Is Brain Bleach provided?
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
The particular moment may have passed but...
quote:
posted by Horseman Bree:
And, no prophet, I've never seen "WC" on a school toilet-room door anywhere in the four provinces in which I have worked.
M or F, Male or Female, simple outline shape (pants or skirts), yes. Rarely "Boys" or "Girls" except in elementary grades
You have to be a bit careful about this in the Gaelic parts of Scotland, and really hope they have outlines!
Ladies = Mnathan
Gents = Fir
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Not sure an outline would be all that helpful....
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Angel Wrestler
Ship's Hipster
# 13673
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Time was, of course, the plumbing followed you around (if you were grand enough). You had a close stool in your privy chamber, and your own personal bum-wiper - a coveted office of state (so not much change there).
If you were given to reckless pursuits such as washing all over, bath in your room and an army of maid servants hauling cans of hot water. Or M Degas in the corner, sketching furiously.
[ 04. December 2012, 17:53: Message edited by: Angel Wrestler ]
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The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
(unknown)
Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Perhaps if I'd washed less over the years, I would have been stronger in the face of temptation. See where washing gets you and be warned.
It's quite clear.
The Lord delighteth in a whiffy Miffy.
Is Brain Bleach provided?
Don't quite know why, but that takes me back to last Summer's Greenbelt. Mud, mud, glorious mud.
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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The Machine Elf
Irregular polytope
# 1622
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Posted
quote:
posted by Horseman Bree:
And, no prophet, I've never seen "WC" on a school toilet-room door anywhere in the four provinces in which I have worked.
M or F, Male or Female, simple outline shape (pants or skirts), yes. Rarely "Boys" or "Girls" except in elementary grades
I recall seeing 'Ablutions' on a school bathroom door and 'WC' on the closet. I think it may have been at a place in Nether Swell Manor where I went on a residential weekend for something when a pupil. Wherever it was, there were different wings for boys and girls so no need to mark that on the door. Not at my normal comp school though.
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Elves of any kind are strange folk.
Posts: 1298 | From: the edge of the deep green sea | Registered: Oct 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Bathing is scriptual. Bathsheba, after whom the bath was named, was known to go onto the roof in order to clean herself.
All women were required to bathe after menstruation and childbirth -- their husbands could not touch them until they were ritually clean.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Bathing is scriptual. Bathsheba, after whom the bath was named, was known to go onto the roof in order to clean herself.
All women were required to bathe after menstruation and childbirth -- their husbands could not touch them until they were ritually clean.
I realised that. I was trying to be delicate and not mention just which part of her body David was gazing upon.
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Last ever sig ...
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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Seeing a man about a dog, hanging a rat, going to the little boys'/girls' room, and spending a penny are said in humour.
As is "going to shake hands with the Vicar." Best not to use that one in Church.
"Dropping the kids off at the pool", and for U.S. football fans, "Taking the Browns to the Superbowl", although I had heard that the Cleveland Browns football team is now defunct? "Pinching a loaf" <<one of my faves along with this bit of witticism from Whoopi Goldberg, "Squeezing out some bidness!"
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Why should God mind what we do in the toilet? It is a prime place of prayer:
Oh God ! Please let it out!
My God! Are you still in there?
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Latchkey Kid
Shipmate
# 12444
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Bathroom = the place where you have a bath (The clue is in the title)
But a toilet isn't a place where you do your toilet. Or at least
Venus didn't.
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'You must never give way for an answer. An answer is always the stretch of road that's behind you. Only a question can point the way forward.'
Mika; in Hello? Is Anybody There?, Jostein Gaardner
Posts: 2592 | From: The wizardest little town in Oz | Registered: Mar 2007
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:
But a toilet isn't a place where you do your toilet. Or at least
Venus didn't.
By gum, it's crowded in there.
Actually, it seems to be her bedroom, since there's a shagged- out Mars in the background. (Though I'm glad to see he's hung up his armour neatly. Some gods just leave it scattered all over the carpet for you to trip over in the morning.)
[ 05. December 2012, 08:00: Message edited by: Firenze ]
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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
although I had heard that the Cleveland Browns football team is now defunct?
No more so than usual- they're 4 -8 at the moment.
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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard
Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jbohn:
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
although I had heard that the Cleveland Browns football team is now defunct?
No more so than usual- they're 4 -8 at the moment.
How strange... I thought I read somewhere that the team was no more... hmmmm... well, I apologize if any Browns fans were put into a tailspin by my pronouncement.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Amazed not to see Pyx_e on this thread. Back in the day he was always starting scatalogical threads in Heaven and having them closed. 'What Do You Read In the Bathroom' was one I remember.
However, enough of these reminiscences.
For Falstaff, a chamberpot (potty, jerry, etc) was a Jordan. Cue endless childish giggles about being baptised in the Jordan, coming up from the Jordan, etc.
A good Christian bathroom needs either one of those embroidered mottoes: 'Thou, God See'st Me' over a single eye, a lot of framed cartoons, or the theological college leavers' photograph.
Loo paper is not mentioned in the Bible. So hard, soft, recycled, medicated--it is adiaphora. Or bumf.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Why should God mind what we do in the toilet? It is a prime place of prayer:
Oh God ! Please let it out!
My God! Are you still in there?
From the Satyricon (from memory:
Sweet Cloacina calls.
Let not my offerings too swiftly fall
Or yet, too obdurate be.
[ 05. December 2012, 19:41: Message edited by: Gee D ]
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Legend has it that Arius died on the toilet, although I believe the tropar only says his soul left him in an unseemly manner (see how restrained we are in our hymnody?). Probably apocryphal but it's a delightfully earthy way to crow over your enemies.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Niminypiminy
Shipmate
# 15489
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Posted
Instead of 'Now Wash Your Hands' the biblical bathroom has to have
'Who shall ascend to the hill of the Lord,
Or who can rise up in his holy place?
Those who have clean hands and a pure heart'
In I Capture the Castle (one of my favourite books) the bathroom has 'Lord hold thou me up' over the toilet.
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Lives of the Saints: songs by The Unequal Struggle
http://www.theunequalstruggle.com/
Posts: 776 | From: Edge of the Fens | Registered: Feb 2010
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.
You don't shower standing on your head? How do you get the inside of your nose clean?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.
Is why God invented this.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
You don't shower standing on your head? How do you get the inside of your nose clean?
You mean there's some other way of cleaning the inside of your nose?
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Returning to the shower issue, I'd merely point out that if God had intended us to shower, he'd have given us armpits that faced upwards.
Is why God invented this.
Which - the girl or the shower?
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
But some people use those moist little sheets which come in plastic boxes with lids. Where do they fit in, eh?
That opens up the whole other faiths dialogue.
That's easy.
"Other sheets I have that are not of this fold".
Done in one.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
** groan ... **
Anyway, that's taken out of context: its real meaning is to do with which newspaper you read.
On the loo, or elsewhere.
[ 08. December 2012, 10:58: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Is why God invented this.
I really fancy one of those.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Is why God invented this.
I really fancy one of those.
As Baptist Trainfan said, the girl or the shower?
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Last ever sig ...
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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
Don't worry if you can't get your bathroom cleaned. Somewhere (I'm having trouble locating it at the moment) in the Law it says if you have mildew in your house, the priest has to clean it. So phone up your minister, ladies and gents!
Of course, if this happens too often, the priest is allowed revenge - in the form of burning your house down. So don't abuse it.
(I often think about this when I'm cleaning mildew off the piscina in the sacristy - Hmm, I should get a priest in here to do this!)
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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