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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Getting to know you, at Church
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
St Helen's had a welcome desk and it was a popular point, especially in the summer when people came looking for the accommodation book.
What is an accommodation book? Sounds like the church is helping people find housing?
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by geroff:
Rather than name tags have job tags - or even just coloured tags. You can then have a note on your service sheet or at the door saying "if you need help or have a question ask someone who is wearing a yellow badge".
This strikes me as a typical Anglican compromise but hey..
Even more Anglican -- we do both. Vestry members have one color name badge, Ushers another, Outreach and Fellowship Committees each have their own. But... nobody remembers to wear them.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Percy B
Shipmate
# 17238
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Posted
Name badges, coffee stewards, welcomes, weekends away, ...
I have found the suggestions and thoughts SO helpful. THANK YOU.
I wonder if there are any specific social events, away from worship, which you have found helpful in drawing people together? We sometimes find social events attract a certain few and no others, and so can be in danger of being counter productive in uniting a disparate people.
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Mary, a priest??
Posts: 582 | From: Nudrug | Registered: Jul 2012
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Evangeline
Shipmate
# 7002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Percy B:
Name badges, coffee stewards, welcomes, weekends away, ...
I have found the suggestions and thoughts SO helpful. THANK YOU.
I wonder if there are any specific social events, away from worship, which you have found helpful in drawing people together? We sometimes find social events attract a certain few and no others, and so can be in danger of being counter productive in uniting a disparate people.
One church I know of has a catch up for a cuppa month. During one particular month people from church invite 2 or 3 others over for coffee. I gather that it is co-ordinated to make sure to include everyone especially newcomers. I think it's a good low key thing to do to forge some bonds between members of the congregation.
Posts: 2871 | From: "A capsule of modernity afloat in a wild sea" | Registered: May 2004
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
Being Methodist, our church has an annual Covenant Service at the beginning of January. This year's will be on Sunday. This is when we renew our commttment to God, as the Methodist year starts on New Year's Day. Anyway, after the service we have a free 'family meal' for all church members.
We've also had some social gatherings to raise funds, sch as a Christian Aid quiz. People may be more likely to attend a quiz, as it gives them something specific to talk about and it's for a good cause.
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
We run a CAMEO (Come and meet each other) lunch after the morning service every so often, often with entertainment, but sadly it tends to be poorly attended by the majority of church members. Those of us who do go have a good time. It's a bring and share lunch but with one person responsible for ensuring that there's something hot in a pot so that there's plenty to eat.
I like name badges for the very reason that has been mentioned before - they remove that embarrassment when you meet someone for the second, third, fiftieth time and haven't quite grasped their name yet. Trouble is, people tend to be reluctant to wear them. It's a funny thing - people simply don't like being labelled with their name. But if you can persuade everyone that it is a good idea, I think it breaks down loads of barriers, especially if you're in an area where people come from a variety of ethnic backgrounds and may have very unfamiliar names which are initially hard to pronounce or to remember. Seeing it written down helps.
Social evenings are really good for getting to know people, as are trips away. And our church holds a family day (which isn't really for families, it's for the church family, but actually primarily for the adults, so that's something which needs working on!) where we discuss issues affecting the church family (one year it was based around how we cater for young people, the following year on how to promote a multi-cultural welcome). In those environments, where you tend to talk in smaller groups, it's easier to get to know people individually and to form a sort of bond, even if you don't agree.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
quote:
I wonder if there are any specific social events, away from worship, which you have found helpful in drawing people together? We sometimes find social events attract a certain few and no others, and so can be in danger of being counter productive in uniting a disparate people.
Absolutely, what's really crazy is when you get the same gang of supportive people turning up to support the event, and no one else...
This summer I held an open mic night, which was genuinely open - the major drawback is that my motivation for making it happen was a mission, and the mission aspect was a bit horrible - the lead mission guy was embarressingly insistant on his sin and repent-before-it's-too-late message. Anyway, it was great that the stalwart supporters turned up, but also my non-christian friends, and people from the local comumnity who loved having the opportunity to sing into a microphone to the most uncritical and supportive audience. We provided a ploughman's supper and unlimited tea coffee and soft drinks, and it was a good social event. I had prepared a certain amount of live music, and we had a CD player for when people wanted a break. The local people have expressed an interest in knowing when 'the next one' is... so I'm working towards a monthly barn dance with an open mic slot in the middle.
I'm looking forward to it.
[ 01. January 2013, 09:25: Message edited by: Taliesin ]
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
St Helen's had a welcome desk and it was a popular point, especially in the summer when people came looking for the accommodation book.
What is an accommodation book? Sounds like the church is helping people find housing?
St Helen's Bishopsgate evening service has about 400 people, mostly singles in their 20s and 30s as it is in the city of London. So it's turnover is high as they move into and out of London for studying, first jobs etc. It runs a busy accommodation book where people advertise for Christian flat mates. Hanging around the welcome desk there gives you a potential supply of new friends when you are just arrived in the city. Obviously your average church isn't going to have these huge numbers but a welcome desk is a good place to keep information on all sorts of social things such as church events, accommodation, etc.
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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poileplume
Shipmate
# 16438
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Posted
PercyB – in response to your query. Films are a good way of drawing people together. The Christian themed films that are difficult to hire. Coffee and cake after (note the cake element). People just love giving their opinion about a film.
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Please note I am quite severely dyslexic
Posts: 319 | From: Quebec | Registered: May 2011
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
Speaking as a lifelong Methodist, I think it important to say that it is essential that any "getting to know you" type activity definitely needs to include coffee and cake, at the very least.
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Speaking as a lifelong Episcopalian... our newcomers' receptions always involve wine and cheese.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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poileplume
Shipmate
# 16438
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Posted
If you are crafty you can sow the seeds of competitive cake baking.
May the Good Lord forgive me for making such a cynical suggestion...but it works!
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Please note I am quite severely dyslexic
Posts: 319 | From: Quebec | Registered: May 2011
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
I must confess that name tags would horrify me - when I first moved in with my parents I tried the local charevo church and at the start of the service, the leader introduced me to the rest of the congregation by name ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) I never returned.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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redunderthebed
Apprentice
# 17480
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Posted
We have a shared lunch after the service that seems as a newbie to my congregation work well in getting to know people.
Posts: 24 | From: Port Lincoln | Registered: Dec 2012
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
I must confess that name tags would horrify me - when I first moved in with my parents I tried the local charevo church and at the start of the service, the leader introduced me to the rest of the congregation by name I never returned.
At my old church we used to introduce visitors as part of the church notices. This seemed to work in our setting. Speaking personally, I'd rather be introduced to the congregation this way than have strangers come up to me as soon as I walk in and ask me what my name is. For some reason, I always find this intrusive.
Different things seem acceptable in different kinds of churches. A charismatic church that just left visitors alone wouldn't really be living up to its tradition, ISTM. However, when I visit a traditional Anglican church, I'm happy to be left in peace!
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
I sat next to a new lady at Church today - she had been to a couple of funerals and decided to give us a try. I made sure I learned her name and introduced her to folks.
It's very unusual for us to get folk walk through the door 'uninvited'.
ETA - I was VERY pleased that our minister was able to say 'This is an open table, all are invited to communion'. That's just how it should be.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[ 06. January 2013, 16:30: Message edited by: Boogie ]
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
We do get a lot of visitors in our church (the CofE is well known as a place where people can turn up fairly anonymously if they so choose - especially the larger more cathedral-like churches). Some of these visitors will stay and join the church, others are just passing through. But it is very much on their terms.
However, I also belong to the U3A, where it is normal practice at the large monthly meetings for everyone to wear a name tag. This is membership only, unless you wear a badge saying 'Visitor', and you have to pay to be a member. The emphasis is quite different.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pia
Shipmate
# 17277
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Posted
Just popping in to share an idea I came up with tonight for our 'coffee hour' and which people seemed to like.
We have a number of small square 'cafe-style' tables. The maximum number of people that can sit around any one is four. If four people sit around every table during coffee hour, it's impossible for others to move around the room.
I suggested we simply push some of the tables together to form fewer, larger tables. People who need to sit can still do so, but more space will be created, and with larger tables it's harder to sit just with your own family or the two or three people you know and/or always talk to, so hopefully more new conversations will strike up. Well, that's the theory, anyway...
Just a thought!
Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
I must confess that name tags would horrify me - when I first moved in with my parents I tried the local charevo church and at the start of the service, the leader introduced me to the rest of the congregation by name I never returned.
At my old church we used to introduce visitors as part of the church notices. This seemed to work in our setting. Speaking personally, I'd rather be introduced to the congregation this way than have strangers come up to me as soon as I walk in and ask me what my name is. For some reason, I always find this intrusive.
Different things seem acceptable in different kinds of churches. A charismatic church that just left visitors alone wouldn't really be living up to its tradition, ISTM. However, when I visit a traditional Anglican church, I'm happy to be left in peace!
I think part of my frustration with it is that it was like they wanted to claim me for their congregation immediately, instead of allowing me to just sample their church and see if it was right for me. In retrospect it wouldn't have been right for me anyway but it should have been up to me to decide. But like Chorister says, being able to be anonymous (or fairly anonymous) if one wishes, or just be passing through, is normal in the CoE. Some people want to be anonymous in church, and forcing them to be more social (particularly with shy/socially anxious people) doesn't make them want to stay.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
One of the problems at my church is that people form closed circles to converse during coffee after the service. This makes it very difficult for introverts and visitors to be included. I feel that the ministerial team should ask some of the regulars to move around and talk to someone they don't usually talk to. So often these regulars only ever talk to the same tight circle.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
We sometimes go into the church hall where there are tables and I've noticed a change in behaviour. When people stand around to drink coffee there is more mingling and mixing-and-matching; people are more likely to end up talking to a visitor. When we go to the tables, people tend to sit with their friends and even save seats for each other. A visitor would find it much harder to join in.
Seems like there's some fairly predictable group psychology going on. If you can observe and understand that, then that's half the battle won perhaps?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pia
Shipmate
# 17277
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Posted
That's pretty much the exact same discussion we had last night, Chorister. Except that some people need the tables - if they have mobility problems, are partially sighted, have small children and not enough hands (!), want to feed a baby... The idea was that by making the tables larger at least their might be some exchanges between groups, and groups might then expand to include newbies, visitors, and so on.
Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
When people stand around to drink coffee there is more mingling and mixing-and-matching; people are more likely to end up talking to a visitor. When we go to the tables, people tend to sit with their friends and even save seats for each other. A visitor would find it much harder to join in.
My parents used to give cocktail parties and part of the intentional strategy was few chairs so people will stand and mingle. I've tried similar -- more people than chairs but scatter some chairs because elderlies need to sit. Whose the first to grab all the chairs? Kids.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
One of the problems at my church is that people form closed circles to converse during coffee after the service. This makes it very difficult for introverts and visitors to be included. I feel that the ministerial team should ask some of the regulars to move around and talk to someone they don't usually talk to. So often these regulars only ever talk to the same tight circle.
If you have a team to greet people at the door, extend their duties to after the service. Get them to introduce people to one another, if such people want to be introduced.
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454
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Posted
We had the same problem at a church I used to be a part of. The regulars arrived for coffee and sat with their friends in tight groups and ignored strangers.
The answer from congregation members was basically that they hadn’t seen their friends all week and this was their time to see their friends.
We discussed removing the table but the elderly people said that they would not be able to come for coffee then as they couldn’t stand up.
Basically the only people who used to talk to newcomers was the church officials
The problem hadn’t been solved up to the time I left
Posts: 1905 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
But what is wrong with church officials talking to the newcomers? They are ideally placed, I would have thought.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
They are--but their outreach is often discounted by the newcomer as soon as he/ she finds out that they are there in a "professional role", as it were. Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sergius-Melli
Shipmate
# 17462
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
They are--but their outreach is often discounted by the newcomer as soon as he/ she finds out that they are there in a "professional role", as it were. Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.
The few times that I have managed to talk to a newcomer I have had the reaction you describe, they instantly think that I will want them to do things and be involved straight away...
Somehow my Sacristan duties before and after services means that the first instance I get to meet any newcomer is when they come to the Altar for Communion, then they get labelled by me according to their receiving style (as are many of the regulars who I can never remember the name of...)
I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home... there is very little community in our Parish it is rather sad... ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
Posts: 722 | From: Sneaking across Welsh hill and dale with a thurible in hand | Registered: Dec 2012
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Holy Smoke
Shipmate
# 14866
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
...I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home...
But I don't go straight home. I go to the nice friendly coffee bar round the corner...where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not feel like a c**t.
Posts: 335 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2009
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.
The few times that I have managed to talk to a newcomer I have had the reaction you describe, they instantly think that I will want them to do things and be involved straight away...
Not just fear of being pushed to "get involved" but a more basic "you are talking to me only because it's your job." Which means the conversation's seeming offer of friendship is bogus.
But people do what they want to do. If regulars aren't greeting newcomers, it's because regulars don't cares if newcomers stay or go. Committees and policies won't change that. The questions is whether structures can influence behaviors. Name tags, coffee shepherds whose job is to get people introduced to each other (not to fake a conversation with a newcomer) are structures.
Newcomers groups so newcomers can get to know each other and form their own social group together may be far more valuable than I have realized. One common thought I hear from people who feel invisible in their church is they don't know how to find the others who aren't part of the deeply networked long-timers bunch.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Holy Smoke:
quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
...I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home...
But I don't go straight home. I go to the nice friendly coffee bar round the corner...where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not feel like a c**t.
And have nicer coffee too presumably
In fairness to my church, the after-service coffee is pretty dire (I always have tea) but worth it for the company ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
But what is wrong with church officials talking to the newcomers? They are ideally placed, I would have thought.
There is nothing wrong with church officials talking to newcomers. The problem is when they are the only ones, because they can’t keep on talking to the same newcomers every week,which means newcomers find it hard to make friends and become part of the church.
Posts: 1905 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
[The people at the church] wanted to claim me for their congregation immediately, instead of allowing me to just sample their church and see if it was right for me. In retrospect it wouldn't have been right for me anyway but it should have been up to me to decide. But like Chorister says, being able to be anonymous (or fairly anonymous) if one wishes, or just be passing through, is normal in the CoE. Some people want to be anonymous in church, and forcing them to be more social (particularly with shy/socially anxious people) doesn't make them want to stay.
Certainly, smaller churches of all persuasions can be off-putting when they try to heap attention upon newcomers. But I suppose some churches would be giving a false impression of themselves if they tried to be a 'hands-off' church if that's not what they really are.
In terms of personality type, it's been said that introverts are overrepresented in most congregations* so I suppose we need to allow for more extrovert congregations to exist that buck the trend. Introverts who want to worship charismatically without attracting any attention probably need to find a megachurch to attend.
*
http://65.54.113.26/Publication/57763314/psychological-type-profiles-of-churchgoers-in-england
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
They are--but their outreach is often discounted by the newcomer as soon as he/ she finds out that they are there in a "professional role", as it were. Many a time I've seen a promising conversation partner suddenly back off as soon as they realize I'm not an "ordinary" member. Basically my motivation becomes suspect.
Interesting - I've often heard the opposite, that people like the leaders to take an interest in them, which makes them feel they count. Ah well, it takes all personality types....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Yangtze
Shipmate
# 4965
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
... the elderly people said that they would not be able to come for coffee then as they couldn’t stand up
quote:
Originally posted by Zacchaeus: Except that some people need the tables - if they have mobility problems, are partially sighted, have small children and not enough hands (!), want to feed a baby...
We have elderly and disabled and those with children and babies and don't have chairs & tables. I shall now have to pay attention to see whether all the above leave or stay. I'm pretty sure they stay. Mind you we do have coffee at the back of church rather than a separate room so there are pews to perch on.
Doesn't necessarily solve the creating community thing though. When I first started going I spent months reading the noticeboards around the coffee area as everyone else (seemingly) stood in groups and chatted and ignored me.
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Sometimes I wonder What's for Afters?
Posts: 2022 | From: the smallest town in England | Registered: Sep 2003
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Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454
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Posted
Yangtze it may be a good point you are making but the second quote is not something I said...
Posts: 1905 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009
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Pia
Shipmate
# 17277
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Posted
I am the source of the second quote.
In fact, it was noted in our discussion that when we do have coffee in the church, rather than in the hall (if, say, there's an event in the hall) it often seems livelier. However, there's a perfectly good kitchen in the hall and space for people to mingle, which makes it seem perverse to make the coffee there, put it into urns and cart it into the church. And there are certainly those who like to sit down. (Oh, and the hall is warm, which counts for a lot!) All of which is why I felt that the trick could be to use the hall in more creative ways.
I do recognise the 'reading the noticeboards' phenomenon, though. I've tried to take matters into my own hands by volunteering to help with things, so that I both get to know people better and have something to do to look busy if I start to feel uncomfortably un-talked-to.
Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. At my 'home' Meeting we used to have the coffee upstairs but now it is served downstairs in the Meeting Room itself and this is a lot easier. The Doorkeeper slips out at the end of Meeting for Worship to switch on the kettles in another room and by the end of the notices they have boiled and coffee/tea/whatever making commences.
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Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pia
Shipmate
# 17277
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Posted
That is a very interesting and useful insight, WW. Thanks!
Posts: 151 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Holy Smoke
Shipmate
# 14866
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Yangtze:
...When I first started going I spent months reading the noticeboards around the coffee area as everyone else (seemingly) stood in groups and chatted and ignored me.
Which makes a complete mockery of the service immediately preceding, or at least, that's how I'm starting to feel about it.
Posts: 335 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2009
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Sergius-Melli
Shipmate
# 17462
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Holy Smoke:
quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
...I would say at our Church, it is not so much newcomers that need convincing to stay and chat (most do) but the regulars who at the end of the service head for the door, shake hands/talk about the weather, and then off home...
But I don't go straight home. I go to the nice friendly coffee bar round the corner...where I can enjoy a cup of coffee and not feel like a c**t.
What are these coffee bars of which you speak? They sound like devil sanctuaries from the city! I don't think any the coffee shops in town are open on a Sunday, unless you count the pub and M&S...?
Posts: 722 | From: Sneaking across Welsh hill and dale with a thurible in hand | Registered: Dec 2012
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
There's a very useful coffee shop in my town, open on a Sunday. For those staying on for a church meal or meeting - with an hour between events, or for the 'Those who live alone' group to have their get-togethers, it's invaluable. I guess it's also used by churchgoers who would rather not have instant coffee out of a plastic disposable cup, but I've not done any research on that possibility.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. .
This was an issue in one church you had to go past an open door to get to coffee. So many people found it easier to slip out of the door rather than go through another barrier door and into coffee.
The blockers couldn't see this why woud you ahve coffee in the back of the church when there was an uncomfy coffee room.
Posts: 1905 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009
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poileplume
Shipmate
# 16438
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Posted
Let me tell you of a recent experience of visiting a ‘strange church’.
It was the principle church in a big city. They told me that they attract many newcomers “but they don’t stay”. Now let me run through an elemental check list:
Welcomers: none, find your own hymn book as everyone to busy meeting friends.
Announcements about church social activities during the week and invitation to coffee after the service: none.
After the service: everyone stood around in friendship groups chatting, seemed to be mainly about cruises they had taken or were taking.
I was left to chat to another newcomer and find a coffee mug for him. Nice young student who was a refugee and preferred to speak in French, he won’t be coming back
Even worse.
Two services one in French tucked in at the unsociable hour of 9:30 with an overwhelmingly black congregation (probably Haitian). The main service at 11 am was only in English and the congregation overwhelmingly white. No possibility of socialising or coffee after the French service, as it would run into the English arrangements.
In this city 95% of the population speak French, 1.5 % speak English.
This is a really major church for the Anglican mission in Canada. I leave you to draw your own conclusion as to why they have problems.
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Please note I am quite severely dyslexic
Posts: 319 | From: Quebec | Registered: May 2011
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. At my 'home' Meeting we used to have the coffee upstairs but now it is served downstairs in the Meeting Room itself and this is a lot easier. The Doorkeeper slips out at the end of Meeting for Worship to switch on the kettles in another room and by the end of the notices they have boiled and coffee/tea/whatever making commences.
Definitely a good point. Fortunately at my church the warmth of the hall compared to the church building is a good encourager
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by poileplume:
Two services one in French tucked in at the unsociable hour of 9:30 with an overwhelmingly black congregation (probably Haitian). The main service at 11 am was only in English and the congregation overwhelmingly white. No possibility of socialising or coffee after the French service, as it would run into the English arrangements.
I've run into this problem, and it's a hard one to solve. For whatever reason two services got scheduled too close to each other. One would think the solution is move them further apart. But the 9:30 bunch say 9 is too early, and the 11 AM bunch say they can't push it later or they'll be too hungry to pay attention.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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poileplume
Shipmate
# 16438
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Posted
The obvious solution would be to combine the two services.
In our church the services, meetings etc are in both languages. In Canada we have a bi-lingual prayer book. In east Quebec visually all English speakers can speak French. In that city only 0.17% can’t speak French. So it’s easy.
So it’s not a question of can’t speak French but won't. It is the common phenomena of ‘it’s our church' and we keep out outsiders. Obviously it is not just language, that is a local phenomena – but I have seen the frequent cold shouldering in churches of those who are not ‘people like us’.
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Please note I am quite severely dyslexic
Posts: 319 | From: Quebec | Registered: May 2011
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate. At my 'home' Meeting we used to have the coffee upstairs but now it is served downstairs in the Meeting Room itself and this is a lot easier. The Doorkeeper slips out at the end of Meeting for Worship to switch on the kettles in another room and by the end of the notices they have boiled and coffee/tea/whatever making commences.
Definitely a good point. Fortunately at my church the warmth of the hall compared to the church building is a good encourager
As long as you know where the church hall is of course...
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by JoannaP:
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Going from church to hall involves a barrier - even if the door is open it is still a psychological barrier and one that it is almost impossible to negate.
Definitely a good point. Fortunately at my church the warmth of the hall compared to the church building is a good encourager
As long as you know where the church hall is of course...
That can be a problem. At a recent committee meeting a young mother said when her child was baptized, she had no idea there was a reception afterwards, no one mentioned going to the parish hall for coffee and cake, she saw people walk out the door and get in their cars so that's what she did, went home.
Problem of course is the old timers all knew baptisms are followed by receptions, why would you announce what "everyone knows"?
We now have a small sign outside the exit pointing to "parish hall." I think instead of "parish hall" it should say "coffee after church" because people from other denominations don't necessarily know what a parish is, or a parish hall. But at least there's a sign. Progress!
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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