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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Helicopter parents
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Fool on the hill
Shipmate
# 9428
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by tclune:
What I said was that there are obligations in family relationships. In truth, there are obligations in virtually every relationship (sorry if that seems radical).
--Tom Clune
Agree completely.
Posts: 792 | Registered: May 2005
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HCH:
I am also still curious to know opinions on this matter vary across cultural lines or, for that matter, historical lines. (Perhaps the helicopter parent phenomenon is a result of tiny nuclear family structure or of modern technology.)
It might be interesting to have a thread discussing (in a civilized fashion) the costs of higher education.
The costs of higher education are one stressor. Another is that the middle class is shrinking in the United States and parents are seeing the window narrowing for their children to do as well as they have. But historically, there have been parents who insist on defining how their children live. College as a mass experience where most children have freedom heightens the conrast with those being strictly managed. It didn't show up as much back on the farm.
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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tclune
Shipmate
# 7959
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
Parents owe it to the child to look after the child and do everything they can for the child because they brought the child into this world. The child did not ask to be born.
This brought to mind the passage in Beckett's Endgame, where the son is blathering on about how unhappy he is to be alive. Finally, he asks his father, "Why did you ever have me?" To which the father replies, "I didn't know it would be you."
--Tom Clune
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Posts: 8013 | From: Western MA | Registered: Jul 2004
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Perhaps a clue about appropriate / inappropriate parental intervention is whether the child is pleased or embarrassed by his parent's actions. This report about a letter sent by Tom Daley's mum, has received praise from her son. They seem to have a very healthy relationship. I can think of other sporting or musically gifted children where the relationship is decidedly unhealthy, intrusive and overbearing.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194
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Posted
Interesting article in the state's newspaper today.
Parental hovering
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"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...
Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by tclune:
quote:
Originally posted by Hedgehog:
Parents owe it to the child to look after the child and do everything they can for the child because they brought the child into this world. The child did not ask to be born.
This brought to mind the passage in Beckett's Endgame, where the son is blathering on about how unhappy he is to be alive. Finally, he asks his father, "Why did you ever have me?" To which the father replies, "I didn't know it would be you."
--Tom Clune
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born.
He wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the frenchie was torn.
Michael Kirby, a now retired judge of our High Court, would almost certainly have allowed a claim for damages by the young man against his father - see Harriton v Stephens [2006] HCA 15; (2006) 226 CLR 52. Rather more sensibly, the other members of the Court held that there was no cause of action.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Perhaps a clue about appropriate / inappropriate parental intervention is whether the child is pleased or embarrassed by his parent's actions.
I agree with this. My mother was something of a helicopter parent and I deeply resented her inteusiveness and overprotection, which felt smothering at times.
I remember one school concert where parents were invited. We'd already been told not to wave at our parents, but I did, so the teacher quite rightly told me off. Next thing, my mother had flown down to my seat at the speed of sound and asked me (in a very loud voice), 'What was that teacher saying to you? Was she telling you off?' - in front of all my classmates! I was mortified and so embarassed that I lied to her,to get her to go away. I think I said the teacher had been giving me soem last minute singing advice!
Don't underestimate the harmful qualities of helicopter parentling. I never felt that I could confide in my mother about anything, so her parentling methods were actually quite counterproductive. By contrast, mr dad was very laid back and we got on famously.
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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