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Source: (consider it) Thread: Coffee break
Abigail
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I hope it's OK for someone who's been around a long time but posted very little to start a thread...

I would appreciate people's views on my church's practice of having a tea/coffee break in the middle of the main Sunday service. About 20-25 minutes into the service we have the Peace and then we're encouraged to spend the next 7-10 minutes wandering around chatting and getting a drink before going back to our seats and continuing with the rest of the service.

We're told it's a good time to make new friends or catch up with old ones.

I've endured this for over four years now. I think it's just WRONG. I know I’m not the only one who dislikes it but I think those of us who do are in a very small minority. My church is very relaxed and informal and on the whole I like it that way, but this is something that I just can't get to like.

My objections are:
It interrupts the flow of the service
It stops people staying to chat after the service - most people want to leave straight away if they've already done the coffee/socialising thing in the middle.
I'm not actually ready for a drink at that point in time
It makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I'm useless at small talk so after greeting a few people and collecting a cup of tea I don't really want I usually just sit in my seat feeling miserable and guilty.

I realise that things aren't going to change and unless I leave (which isn't really an option for me at the moment) I've just got to put up with it, but what do others think? Are there good reasons for doing it this way?

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Amos

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Abigail, can you say anything more about your church? Like, what sort of a church it is?
I have to say, I haven't come across this particular practice before.

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Jengie jon

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It does not sound like it is, but the old Non-Conformist practice of communion would fit fairly well with that pattern. You'd have the service of the Word, refreshments and then Holy Communion.

Differences:
They would not use the Peace in the Anglican form and if they did have it in communion order it would be in the second half.
You were free to leave at the break if you did not want to stay to communion (communion was only for members then).

Jengie

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Tubbs

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A friend's church does this once a month. It seems to work well for them as a way of getting people to chat and mix. They have a fair number of people who have to dash off immediately after the service who wouldn't get to chat with others in the congregation otherwise.

Not sure it's something you'd want to do every week though.

Tubbs

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Abigail
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Amos, it's an inner city C of E church, towards the evangelical end of the scale, medium size, very mixed congregation.

Jengie, our coffee break doesn't divide communion from the rest of the service - we have the intercessions and the sermon after the break and then communion (if it's a communion service that is; we have the tea/coffee break in non-communion services too.)

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Olaf
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I am a very frequent visitor at other churches. Some of them have extremely extended Peace-sharing.

Do people usually reach out and greet me as a newcomer? Yes

Is it enough to keep me from feeling horribly uncomfortable when those greetings subside and I am left alone while random conversations take place? NO!

What do I do? I sit down by myself and absent-mindedly leaf through the hymnal, hoping in vain that people will "catch on" and end the misery.

Now, I have never encountered the coffee break idea. I'm simply talking about four-five minutes of hand-shaking and chatting. If there were coffee breaking, I'd probably head to the door and exit. No drama, of course. [Biased]

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Lamb Chopped
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I'm guessing the nature of the church is what's driving this. My own congregation is somewhat similar, and I think they might go for this kind of thing if it were suggested. The reasons would be first, because a lot of people in the inner city from mixed class/ethnic backgrounds are hurting for relationships; this kind of thing would look like a good way to foster them. A lot of them are also unchurched before coming to ours (or maybe yours) and therefore don't have expectations about how services normally work, and about dividing sacred time/space from ordinary time/space. And last, there are some who will intentionally want to break down that distinction as a way of trying to bring God and his grace and power into their seven-day-a-week lives, which desperately need him.

It's not a bad thing, just a different thing. And it works for some of us and not for others of us. I think you're doing the right thing in just putting up with it for the sake of others who find it helpful. [Overused]

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Angloid
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quote:
Originally posted by Abigail:

our coffee break doesn't divide communion from the rest of the service - we have the intercessions and the sermon after the break

So it divides the readings from the sermon instead, which is even odder.

If the idea of having the break is so that people in a hurry don't miss the socialising, surely that will just prolong the service so that they will still be in a hurry (and maybe late) by the end.

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Abigail
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[/qb][/QUOTE]So it divides the readings from the sermon instead, which is even odder.

No, sorry, I should have said the reading (not "readings" - we only ever have one) is after the break too - immediately before the sermon.

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3rdFooter
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quote:
Originally posted by Abigail:
quote:
So it divides the readings from the sermon instead, which is even odder.

No, sorry, I should have said the reading (not "readings" - we only ever have one) is after the break too - immediately before the sermon.
So
  • Gathering
  • Confession
  • Gloria
  • Collect?

Then The Peace and the break?

I can see that it challenges the distinction between 'worship', 'fellowship' and 'the rest of your life'. My worry would be that some might see the latter part of the service as the "real" bit and skip the important stuff beforehand.

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Angloid
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quote:
Originally posted by Abigail:
the reading (not "readings" - we only ever have one) is after the break too - immediately before the sermon.

Church of England? Evangelical? Does not compute, either with compliance to the rubrics, or belief in the importance of Scripture.

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3rdFooter
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quote:
Originally posted by Angloid:
Church of England? Evangelical? Does not compute, either with compliance to the rubrics, or belief in the importance of Scripture.

This is my experience of CofE parishes connected to the New Wine network. Generally they identify as 'Charismatic Evangelical'. St Barnabas, Wood Side Park have just one reading.

They also have a coffee bar to one side which is open throughout the service - no need for break!

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Angloid
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quote:
Originally posted by 3rdFooter:
quote:
Originally posted by Angloid:
Church of England? Evangelical? Does not compute, either with compliance to the rubrics, or belief in the importance of Scripture.

This is my experience of CofE parishes connected to the New Wine network. Generally they identify as 'Charismatic Evangelical'. St Barnabas, Wood Side Park have just one reading.
Oh, I know it happens. Just seems odd to me. Anglo-catholics tend to have far more scripture in their services than do evangelicals.

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Arethosemyfeet
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When I was growing up the break in the middle of the service was used to help with the issue of seekers (and baptism families and friends on occasion) being uncomfortable with the communion service, giving them a discrete opportunity to slip out without feeling awkward, whilst allowing communion to be celebrated at the main service every Sunday. This was towards the higher end of MOTR. The break was after the peace, in its usual place in the ASB Rite A liturgy. An extra hymn to restart (and bring up the elements, if memory serves) and the service proceeded as normal. The break was about 15 minutes. I've never been a particularly gregarious person but I think on the whole it worked well, and with a friendly congregation with fairly proactive wardens and sidespeople it did help bring people together when people had a tendency to rush off if coffee were served after the service.
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Bishops Finger
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At our place, we are in the (perhaps? YMMV) happy position of having virtually the entire assembly remain for coffee etc. after Mass, even though occasionally people do have valid reasons for leaving quite quickly!

Therefore, we don't have the need for one of these rather egregious coffee-breaks within the service - in fact, we restrict the length of the Peace by breaking into the Agnus Dei within a couple of minutes.......(we have the Peace in the RC position, just before Communion).

I can just about see the point of such a break within an informal context, but I would probably be one of those sitting quietly to one side nursing my double espresso......

Ian J.

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Angloid
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Maybe it's just my anglo-catholic hangover (IYSWIM... I don't mean gin) that would make me feel uneasy about having coffee and biscuits minutes before the Lord's Body and Blood. The fasting rules/ customs are minimal enough these days; any further and it becomes ridiculous.

And the Peace is one thing; extended socialising is quite another.

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Brian: You're all individuals!
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Gee D
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quote:
Originally posted by Angloid:
Maybe it's just my anglo-catholic hangover (IYSWIM... I don't mean gin) that would make me feel uneasy about having coffee and biscuits minutes before the Lord's Body and Blood. The fasting rules/ customs are minimal enough these days; any further and it becomes ridiculous.

And the Peace is one thing; extended socialising is quite another.

I agree. The Peace is not the same as socialising, and socialising is not part of the liturgy. IMO, a great improvement in liturgy over the last 50 years has been the move from a very formal Peace, from a simple versicle and response, to the present genuine attempt to put ourselves at peace with out neighbours and in so doing, with God before the presentation of gifts, the thanksgiving and the consecration.

And only 1 reading!

[ 21. October 2012, 21:21: Message edited by: Gee D ]

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Olaf
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quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
[QUOTE] The Peace is not the same as socialising, and socialising is not part of the liturgy.

Thank you. This whole OP situation is nothing more than enforced socialization. I suppose if they try hard enough, they will be able to cure all the introverts and shy people.
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PD
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My considered opinion of the 'liturgical coffee break' is that they are an abomination and make the baby Jesus Cry, but probably not the sin against the Holy Ghost. However, I do tend to conceive of worship in vertical rather than horizontal terms. My favoured style of worship is therefore a Sung Mass on ordinary Sundays and Solemn Mass on special occasions. Socializing is for the parish hall (or the pub) afterwards.

PD

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Barefoot Friar

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quote:
Originally posted by PD:
My considered opinion of the 'liturgical coffee break' is that they are an abomination and make the baby Jesus Cry, but probably not the sin against the Holy Ghost. However, I do tend to conceive of worship in vertical rather than horizontal terms. My favoured style of worship is therefore a Sung Mass on ordinary Sundays and Solemn Mass on special occasions. Socializing is for the parish hall (or the pub) afterwards.

PD

Hear, hear.

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leo
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I have much, much sympathy with the OP. As someone not good at small talk myself, i prefer coffee as an OPTION at the end.

I am also old-fashioned in that i still believe in communion being taken in a state of fasting wherever possible.

However, in a church where there are many newcomers who are not used to trad. church, I can see an advantage. BUT not for 'socialising' but as part of the liturgy. One of our city centre churches has reinvented itself and has a late breakfast period of coffee and croissants wherein people sit in groups at tables, not for 'small talk' but to discuss one of the readings plus suggest items for intercession. The priest, who is good at 'thinking on his feet', gathers up the insights from the discussions and weaves them into a sermon. After that, the people move to a different part of the building for the prayers already requested and proceeds to the offertory, eucharistic prayer etc.

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venbede
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I have a friend now in her eighties who has been going to the same backstreets evangelical C of E church, girl and woman, all her life - although she does vary the diet quite a bit as far as I can tell.

She told me once how fed up she was at an innovation at her church of introducing a coffee break in the middle. She didn't expand her reasons, but I gathered she felt it just wasn't taking worship seriously.

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Albertus
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Probably because it isn't.

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Bax
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I am a great beleiver in the followling aphorism:

Before Mass Talk to God
During Mass Listen to God
After Mass Talk to each other

"Mass" of course can be replaced by "Holy communion" or "Morning worship" (or whatever)

We get qute enough time to chat in the modern world, but have very little time to be quiet in God's presence.

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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I'd have thought all the old biddies and saggy bladdered codgers'd be busting for a widdle well before the end if you did this.

[ 22. October 2012, 16:08: Message edited by: Karl: Liberal Backslider ]

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Custard
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I'm surprised at putting the reading and the sermon after the break - it suggests that they're spending a lot of time singing in the "first half".

If you're going to break a CW Communion service, you do it at the Peace, but that comes after the sermon...

Doing the sermon before an extended Peace also means that you can give folks some discussion questions to chat about over tea & coffee which would help those who like small talk less.

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Arethosemyfeet
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quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Probably because it isn't.

I'm pretty sure the congregation at my church growing up took their worship very seriously. Just because you don't like the way someone does something doesn't mean they're not taking things seriously.
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Utrecht Catholic
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I still find the idea of having a coffee break in the middle of a service very silly.
If you want to entertain the worshippers, you could also introduce a dance break for the younger part of the congregation.
Good liturgy,well chosen hymns,an inspiring sermon, neither too short nor too long, all these elements will make sure that the worshippers are not bored.
Coffee, tea and other drinks should be served after the service.

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Oscar the Grouch

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Dear God - it's just another crass little wheeze from a (probably evangelical) vicar who thinks he/she is being trendy but is just being pathetic.

It screws up any sense of "worship" and is actually very UNwelcoming to outsiders (let alone the impact it will have on regular church members who aren't that keen on coffee'n'chat during the service).

It's times like this that me feel that there is something to be said for bringing back the practice of burning people at the stake.

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Albertus
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quote:
Originally posted by Arethosemyfeet:
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Probably because it isn't.

I'm pretty sure the congregation at my church growing up took their worship very seriously. Just because you don't like the way someone does something doesn't mean they're not taking things seriously.
OK, let me revise what I said: you can take something very seriously but still not have thought it out at all carefully. (And FWIW I see the idea of a 'sociable' coffee break in the middle of the service as just a bit further along the spectrum from the very common practice of treating the Peace as a chance for a bit of light relief and a catch-up on chat- which AIUI- and I am not a liturgical scholar- is a complete misunderstanding of why we do that, there.)
Personally I don't care for this (or for that kind of chatty Peace) but I can see that Custard's take on this has the merit of (i) placing the break in the context of the service as an extension of the service of the Word (ii) recognising that actually quite a lot of people don't like small talk and don't care for the choice of engaging in it or sitting in uncomfortable silence while everyone else is chatting or, worse, misguidedly trying to 'include' those who are choosing not to.

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Pomona
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My former church was one of those con-evo places that only had one reading, however we had a short coffee break before the service as well as afterwards which took care of those who had to leave immediately after the service (and those who didn't want to take part in small talk could just arrive as the service started). Communion was monthly so fasting beforehand wasn't an issue most weeks but I doubt many communicants cared about fasting anyway. The idea of a mid-service coffee break would never have been tolerated though, and we had plenty of silly 'innovations'.

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Custard
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It's worth me adding that we don't do this, and I'm not considering doing it.

If we were making more of an impact on certain sections of society, it might become an issue though - I can see how it could be useful to have a "fag break" during a service. Certainly that's how one (occasional visitor) here understood the Peace last week! And after the sermon would be the time to do it.

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Chorister

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One problem I'd have with this is that if I'm told to go off and socialise it would immediately seem false and would be the last thing I could naturally do. Apart from the most extrovert, 7 minutes is not really long enough to get into any meaningful conversation, especially if you are queueing to get a coffee and then (as Karl says) queueing for the loo!

Where I have seen it work is long ago in a parish church, and more recently in a cathedral, where coffee is held between Mattins and the Eucharist (or family service and the more formal service). It lasted for half an hour and provided the chance for both congregations to meet each other and chat over coffee (and also to give the really keen, plus the choir, to have a coffee and chat between the two services they were attending). In churches years ago, Mattins was meant to lead into the Eucharist, as two complimentary parts. So it would make for a long morning to separate it with coffee, but less of an ordeal for younger and more fidgety members.

The other, more recent, initiative is a cafe church setup - I'm not quite sure how that would work in practice (does the coffee and the service occur simultaneously?) as I've never been to one. But in an informal church I could see how it could be popular.

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Chorister

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By the way, I'm loving the idea of a 'fag break' during the service! The lady with the stripy socks who feeds the pigeons each Sunday would find this very helpful, I'm sure. She is our treasure, but she can't manage for very long without a fag.

[ 23. October 2012, 09:45: Message edited by: Chorister ]

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Enoch
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# 14322

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quote:
Originally posted by 3rdFooter:
They also have a coffee bar to one side which is open throughout the service - no need for break!

That sounds more like a music hall.

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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson

Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged
Alaric the Goth
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# 511

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My CofE (just about!) church is always 'cafe church' now. [Disappointed] This involves preparing and serving the tea/coffee at the beginning (just before 10.30) and people sat around low tables drinking it and chatting, which in theory morphs into the start of the service. In practice pepole have been turning up at 10.40 or even later, still expecting a drink, and sometimes we didn't really 'get started' till 11 am.

It has, thankfully, been tightened up a bit as it was getting ridiculous, particularly if you were unfortunate enough to be doing the teas & coffees, as I was the week before the vicar did the talk where he said we should now arrive at 10.25 and be at least sat down with our drinks by 10.40.

Of course, having just had breakfast, I don't particularly want a drink/biscuit at c.10.30 and would rather be so refreshed at a later point in the day, e.g. 12 noon!

So I would love a mid-morning coffee break in the service compared to what we have now!

[ 23. October 2012, 12:04: Message edited by: Alaric the Goth ]

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'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)

Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alaric the Goth
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# 511

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I should add that, with our service going on till 12.30 frequently (is there a 'tearing my hair out' smiley?!), the middle of it would be around 11.30 now!

And bladders [Eek!] , as Karl commented , don't last! A lot of folk, not all elderly, are trooping to the loos around midday! Hmm, coffee/tea at the beginning, then a service of nearly two hours, I wonder why?

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'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)

Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Utrecht Catholic
Shipmate
# 14285

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With reference to the last correspondent on the Coffee Break, his report gives the impression that this congregation is coming together for the Sunday Morning Entertainment, instead of Celebrating the Eucharist with proper reverence, the Lord's service on the Lord's Day.
Is this the Church of England or an Evangelical sect ?.In order to attract more people, some Evo vicars introduce very strange practices.
Does this really work in the long end ?
I doubt it.

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Robert Kennedy

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Custard:
I can see how it could be useful to have a "fag break" during a service.

That sounds SO wrong on this side of the pond!
[Eek!]

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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ecclesiastical Flip-flop
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# 10745

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I heard through the grapevine a week or two ago, that a church I know has started having a 20 minute coffee break in the middle of the service; this is the first time I have heard of this new-fangled practice, which I heave yet to experience by being present. The nearest I have experienced before now is café-style worship, where the service still carries on uninteruptedly and continuously without a break.

The first thought that comes to my mind is that if a communion service, some of us believe in fasting. Though the churches concerned do not have communion at the main Sunday service every week.

It seems to me that from Abigail's account of proceedings in the OP, that the break happens only 15 or 20 minutes into the service, with the greater part of the service happening afterwards, which to my mind is too early on.

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Joyeuses Pâques! Frohe Ostern! Buona Pasqua! ¡Felices Pascuas! Happy Easter!

Posts: 1946 | From: Surrey UK | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Alogon
Cabin boy emeritus
# 5513

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What do the children do during this time?

Or aren't there any?

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Patriarchy (n.): A belief in original sin unaccompanied by a belief in God.

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Ecclesiastical Flip-flop
Shipmate
# 10745

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quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
What do the children do during this time?

Or aren't there any?

As my information is second hand, I leave that for other shipmates to answer.

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Joyeuses Pâques! Frohe Ostern! Buona Pasqua! ¡Felices Pascuas! Happy Easter!

Posts: 1946 | From: Surrey UK | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Augustine the Aleut
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# 1472

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A version of this is common in Mediterranean countries, where worshippers exit half-way through the liturgy to get a quick grappa/ouzo/arak with their espresso at the café across the street. I think that this would be the better approach, as it supports a local business and lets the remaining congregants (who may have a limited time owing to familiy obligations) get on with worshipping and get on their way. And, frankly, I've been to more services where I needed a drink part-way through than I've needed some coffee.

I have attended Episcopalian churches in Florida where coffee and goodies were provided on entering the service. People would meander back to get refills during the service as they needed, but they would often chat and visit for a few minutes while doing so. I cannot but help think that the volunteer energies to keep a 2-hour coffee service going could be better directed.

Posts: 6236 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
What do the children do during this time?

My bet is they have Christian education running concurrent with the service, or at least the Service of the Word. Throw in a 20-min coffee break and you get a full hour for education. The kiddos come in at the Peace or the offertory (probably at some hymn done before the Great Thanksgiving begins) and the parents think this is a manageable amount of time in church. (Neither approving nor debating this type of arrangement.)
quote:

Or aren't there any?

Sadly, that's a possibility, although my money's on the first scenario.

[ 23. October 2012, 15:57: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Arethosemyfeet
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# 17047

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quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
What do the children do during this time?

Or aren't there any?

I can't speak for anywhere else, but Sunday School happened in the first part of the service, and the children joined the congregation for communion. Basically the "teaching" for adults and children was done separately.

On the topic of this being a new thing, again I can't speak for anywhere else but it was over 15 years ago I'm talking about and was still going on when I left 10 years ago. It certainly predates "fresh expressions" or "cafe church" as widespread phenomena. Whether my church was a pioneer in this regard I couldn't say. Not a long time in the sweep of church history but hardly brand new.

Posts: 2933 | From: Hebrides | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged
Ecclesiastical Flip-flop
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# 10745

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quote:
Originally posted by Arethosemyfeet:
quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
What do the children do during this time?

Or aren't there any?

I can't speak for anywhere else, but Sunday School happened in the first part of the service, and the children joined the congregation for communion. Basically the "teaching" for adults and children was done separately.

On the topic of this being a new thing, again I can't speak for anywhere else but it was over 15 years ago I'm talking about and was still going on when I left 10 years ago. It certainly predates "fresh expressions" or "cafe church" as widespread phenomena. Whether my church was a pioneer in this regard I couldn't say. Not a long time in the sweep of church history but hardly brand new.

Despite 60 years experience, I had never heard of coffee break in this way until a week or two ago; so it is new to me. You live and learn!

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Joyeuses Pâques! Frohe Ostern! Buona Pasqua! ¡Felices Pascuas! Happy Easter!

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Alaric the Goth:


Of course, having just had breakfast, I don't particularly want a drink/biscuit at c.10.30 and would rather nip down to the Fox and Newt at a later point in the day, e.g. 12 noon!

FIFY.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294

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quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Custard:
I can see how it could be useful to have a "fag break" during a service.

That sounds SO wrong on this side of the pond!
[Eek!]

Or RIGHT, depending on your point of view! [Devil] I can envision getting trampled in the stampede for the doors if someone called out 'Fag Break!' [Help] And there are some parishes … [Killing me]

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You can't retire from a calling.

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Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
What do the children do during this time?

My bet is they have Christian education running concurrent with the service, or at least the Service of the Word. Throw in a 20-min coffee break and you get a full hour for education. The kiddos come in at the Peace or the offertory (probably at some hymn done before the Great Thanksgiving begins) and the parents think this is a manageable amount of time in church. (Neither approving nor debating this type of arrangement.)
quote:

Or aren't there any?

Sadly, that's a possibility, although my money's on the first scenario.

An hour long Sunday school [Eek!]

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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quote:
Originally posted by Tubbs:
An hour long Sunday school [Eek!]

Tubbs

Not unusual among Episcopal churches, although many of them have an "education hour" in-between the 8:00 and 10:00 services (in contrast to running concurrent with the liturgy, as I assumed with the OP). But let the reader understand that in this sort of churchspeak an "hour" is more like 45-50 minutes.

[ 24. October 2012, 01:15: Message edited by: Mamacita ]

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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