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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Christmas is banned because . . .
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Advent is upon us again and with it comes that hardy perennial, the banned Christmas story , such as this corker from the Daily Heil.
So all you need to do is answer the previous poster's anguished cry of X have banned Christmas because... with your own reason, and then post your own person/august body to have banned it for the next player to answer.
Eg: Jesus has banned Christmas because
and the next player responds
"because Santa's never got him a bike!"
Away you go!
AG
<small>[ 12. February 2013, 05:51: Message buggered about with by: comet ]</small>
[ 13. February 2013, 15:39: Message edited by: Ariston ]
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Your starter for ten:
The Daily Wail have banned Christmas because...
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Your starter for ten:
The Daily Wail have banned Christmas because...
All that stuff about love, peace and helping the poor is just a European, lefty plot to help welfare scroungers and refugees living in mansions take more money from hard-working families. As if refugees have anything to do with the nativity story...
And it probably gives you cancer. There was a study once...
The Church of England General Synod have banned Christmas because...
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stejjie:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Your starter for ten:
The Daily Wail have banned Christmas because...
All that stuff about love, peace and helping the poor is just a European, lefty plot to help welfare scroungers and refugees living in mansions take more money from hard-working families. As if refugees have anything to do with the nativity story...
And it probably gives you cancer. There was a study once...
The Church of England General Synod have banned Christmas because...
An obscure bunch of neo-Puritans objects to the observance and alternative non-Christmas observing episcopal oversight cannot be adequately arranged to ensure they never have to have contact with a bishop who's ever dressed up as Father Christmas or eaten a plum duff.
The Tory Government has Banned Christmas because
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Imersge Canfield
Shipmate
# 17431
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Posted
The Church of England General Synod have banned Christmas because... their committee has nt reported back on the validity & assurance of Christlingles !
The Republicans have banned Christmas because
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'You must not attribute my yielding, to sinister appetites'
"Preach the gospel and only use jewellry if necessary." (The Midge)
Posts: 419 | From: Sun Ship over Grand Fenwick Duchy | Registered: Nov 2012
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
The Tory Government has Banned Christmas because the shepherds and the wise men were clearly an early form of coalition, formed to promote the worship of the baby Jesus, and we all know that this Coalition is mess, preventing us from being as draconian as we would like to be, so let's not remind folk that working together can ever be successful!
Flower arrangers have banned Christmas because:
ETA: Apologies to IC but I don't know the Republicans well enough to make jokes about them, so I went with the Tories.
[ 05. December 2012, 12:06: Message edited by: Robert Armin ]
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Caissa
Shipmate
# 16710
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Posted
Flower arrangers have banned Christmas because they can't see the point(settia).
Jewellers have banned Christmas because...
Posts: 972 | From: Saint John, N.B. | Registered: Oct 2011
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
Jewellers have banned Christmas because... 5 gold rings is barely enough to sustain a business with.
Lord Leveson has banned Christmas because...
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Ceannaideach
Shipmate
# 12007
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Posted
Lord Leveson has banned Christmas because good news to all men is clearly bad product placement.
Mr Ed (not David) Milliband has banned Christmas because...
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"I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions for which I will regret learning the answers." - Roy Greenhilt OOTS
Posts: 199 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Nov 2006
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stejjie:
Jewellers have banned Christmas because... 5 gold rings is barely enough to sustain a business with.
Lord Leveson has banned Christmas because...
He's read the Daily Heil too much and believes it's already banned.
My boss has banned Christmas because...
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Ceannaideach
Shipmate
# 12007
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Posted
(Karl, we need to stop bumping into each other like this! People will start to talk!)
My boss has banned Christmas because having the company open will mean more money in the tills
Mr Ed (not David) Milliband has banned Christmas because...
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"I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions for which I will regret learning the answers." - Roy Greenhilt OOTS
Posts: 199 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Nov 2006
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Mr Ed (not David) Milliband has banned Christmas because...
...with all those Nick Park repeats on the TV someone might realise that actually Gromit is the brains of the operation!
The BBC have banned Christmas because...
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
There have been accusations about the shepherds' activities with the sheep.
The three kings have banned Christmas because -
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
Because two are allergic to frankincense and myrrh and the other won't let the other two carry gold instead.
Santa has banned Christmas because
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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womanspeak
Shipmate
# 15394
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Posted
THE VICAR HAS BANNED CHRISTMAS BECAUSE
he is just too busy at this time of year and has complained about Christmas time so much in his Advent ramblings in the hope we will all stay away.
MOTHERS HAVE BANNED CHRISTMAS BECAUSE...
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from the bush
Posts: 62 | From: rural australia | Registered: Jan 2010
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Our vicar has banned Christmas because…
He's fed up of trying to grab a quick nap between finishing Midnight Mass and getting ready for the 8am service.
Gerry Adams has banned Christmas because...
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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The Great Gumby
Ship's Brain Surgeon
# 10989
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Posted
Cross-post
quote:
Originally posted by womanspeak:
MOTHERS HAVE BANNED CHRISTMAS BECAUSE...
They'd need to remortgage the house to buy everything on their children's Christmas lists.
Gerry Adams has banned Christmas because...
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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman
A letter to my son about death
Posts: 5382 | From: Home for shot clergy spouses | Registered: Feb 2006
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Imersge Canfield
Shipmate
# 17431
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Posted
Gerry Adams has banned Christmas because...he hates the way 'they' bring religion into it !
The Turkey in chief has banned Christmas because...
[ 07. December 2012, 09:25: Message edited by: Imersge Canfield ]
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'You must not attribute my yielding, to sinister appetites'
"Preach the gospel and only use jewellry if necessary." (The Midge)
Posts: 419 | From: Sun Ship over Grand Fenwick Duchy | Registered: Nov 2012
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SyNoddy
Shipmate
# 17009
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Posted
The turkey in chief has banned Christmas because the chestnut stuffing causes an adverse reaction in an unfortunate location
The choir has banned Christmas because...
Posts: 53 | From: Somewhere near the Middle | Registered: Mar 2012
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
The choir has banned Christmas because... they all have throat infections
(actually that's too true to be funny)
The donkey has banned Christmas because...
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
The donkey has banned Christmas because...
... well, the clue is in the words.
"Little donkey, little donkey
Had a heavy day
Little donkey carry Mary
Safely on her way."
A heavy day? That Mary is pregnant. That makes her two people. I'm only one donkey. You've heard of the last straw that breaks the donkey's back? Well how many straws do you think a pregnant woman weighs?
The angel from the top of the tree has banned Christmas because...
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
The angel from the top of the tree has banned Christmas because... she is fed up with where they stick the Christmas tree. It takes ages to get the pine needles out.
Marks and Spencer have banned Christmas because...
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Marks and Spencer have banned Christmas because...
They just can't get enough fabric for all those pairs of Christmassy apple-catcher knickers!
Lord Lucan has banned Christmas because...
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
it's celebrated in Hull!
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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