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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: I suppose I have to join facebook, sigh
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amazing Grace:
Appointing someone else to be the organizer and then telling everyone but that person is, however, a huge problem. Double Rude points if the organizer didn't actually get invited due to choice of medium.
Yes, quite bizzare. Almost unbelievable.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by scuffleball:
I had a friend who would often have very long conversations by SMS or FB about very sensitive issues, and I felt somewhat uncomfortable about this. I did offer to set up a videophone on her computer, but she dodged the subject. I suspect it is because she still lives with her parents and would not like to be overheard on the phone.
some of us just hate talking on the phone. things like skype make it worse.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Facebook is the next techno step in an endless chain: indoor plumbing, electricity, telephone, banking card, having a computer at all, connecting the computer to the internet by dial-up, getting a mobile/cell phone, connecting computer to internet via highspeed, joining a forum like ship of fools.
That's what I've been wondering, is facebook something that has become the default for social connections.
A few years ago I had to get a cell phone because a critical mass of people were texting instead of calling, most friends no have landline and some have said "Something's wrong with your phone, I tried to text you but it wouldn't accept my text." But I can't carry a phone all the time, so I have to pay for both landline and cell, extra cost.
At one point answering machines were rare, but there came a time when I was annoyed at a friend who didn't have an answering machine, I had to call and re-call to get through instead of just leaving a message, and that was no longer a normal social expectation.
It's near the time when one must have a smartphone, people are increasingly using the phone for web-based notices and my stupid phone can't do handle it. Awful expensive!
One has to either keep up or drop out except for the few really good friends, because most people don't take the extra work to stay in contact with people who lack "normal" connections. They prefer people it's easy to be friends with.
If I were a "popular" person that people longed for opportunity to spend time, I could have my own rules, "I only respond to Morse code" and people would do it. But I'm not one of those magically popular people, if I want friends I have to be easy to contact.
Sigh.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
However, now, many websites offer you the option of "login with Facebook". In other words, you gain enhanced access to websites via your Facebook identity. In return for this enhanced experience, you effectively hand over your entire personal history as recorded on Facebook to that website.
Don't do it. I have never associated FB with anything. At most, you need to delete cookies to stop any risk. Second, don't click on ads, better still get a web browser extension that automatically blocks all of them. I never see ads either. [/qb][/quote]
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
The concern here is not so much those unfortunate photos of you at some teenage party, rather it's your demographic, network of friends and history of what sort of ads you've clicked on. That in turn will affect what gets suggested to you in your browsing experience (of course this is already true with Google but at least I can be a bit more selective about what I put in, and I wasn't simply thinking I was having a bit of chit-chat with my friends).
You can actually join facebook with a variation of your name, like maybe firstname twice in a row. You can avoid all pictures, disallow all labelling (tagging), and simply follow far flung friends and family a bit more regularly. Having most relatives either in Europe or Asia, would have almost no otherwise contact.
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
In other words, whereas you might be thinking you are surfing through the borderless and uncharted world of the whole wide Internet, you are more likely being led down a retail mall unawares, and seeing more of what business thinks you might like to see.
It is very possible, but also very avoidable.
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
And please get off my lawn.
Also off of my cloud. (Not a bad song that.)
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
As to the party, if I cut out everyone who was a social klutz, I'd have to cut out myself.
Friend is under a lot of pressure right now - job loss, last remaining relative very ill, etc, and a nerdy personality that doesn't do social very well. Turns out when he emailed me "I need..." the list didn't mean "it's your job to provide," he meant "do you have some of these you can give me?" He was under stress and worded it poorly.
Only 6 guests meant he wasn't asking for a lot. I usually have some paper plates etc on hand.
We aren't great friends but with 6 saying yes, I figured 3 would show up. Going to parties is one way to meet new people. I met some delightful people in the few who came.
And I think milestones need to be celebrated. Poverty shouldn't mean "you don't deserve to celebrate a milestone" any more than homelessness means "you don't deserve a safe place to sleep." Inability to afford middle class standards is not a sin.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
... your reply is probably seen by friends of your friend ...
What you might call the inverse of that caused my only "unfriending" of anyone. The person concerned was in a FB group that was of mutual interest (the Choral Evensong Appreciation thread ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) ), but I didn't know him in RL.
When he started posting very unflattering comments about the professional abilities of a choral conductor who is a FB friend (and an acquaintance in RL) I decided I didn't want the RL acquaintance to have to see them, particularly if they were preceded with the words "friends with Piglet", so I not only "unfriended" the first bloke but blocked his comments as well.
Aside from that, I really quite enjoy FB - it's put me in touch with lots of people (especially old schoolfriends) who I'd long lost contact with, which is really rather nice.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Vulpior
Foxier than Thou
# 12744
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Posted
Belle, it sounds as though the event was a good and valuable one; really pleased about that. Many of us (including those who didn't respond) thought, "What a jerk!"
But you knew him better than that. You've done something good for someone who is a bit of a "social klutz"; you can choose your moment to advise him why things may have gone a bit wrong and so ease a bit of his klutziness for the future.
Yay for you.
I echo that it's fine to organise parties for yourself, and to tell people that they're birthday parties, and to solicit appropriate contributions. When I've done that in the past I've received cards, but it hasn't had the intention or effect of encouraging presents.
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I've started blogging. I don't promise you'll find anything to interest you at uncleconrad
Posts: 946 | From: Mount Fairy, NSW | Registered: Jun 2007
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I'd enjoy FB more if it wasn't so paralyzingly slow. I don't know what the problem is but it takes about 30 seconds or more to make any moves - load FB, wait for page to finish loading that you can scroll down (but don't scroll down to the bottom of the page because it will then try to load the previous instalment and freeze up again); try to click on something - and the Javascript options are desperately slow. I'd like to keep up with people's home pages but when you have to click on this, that and the other just to try to load the list of friends, wait a while in between, then try to load their pages, then struggle to leave a comment, I'm afraid I cut this short to what pops up in my feed only.
I tried to send someone a message last night and it took about 10 minutes, not including typing time (in fact as the screen froze, I had to quit, losing what I'd typed, reload and start again). It's a pain in the backside.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
Ariel, I don't think that is Facebook. I don't use Java and my Facebook pages load in less than 3 seconds. Yes, I just tested it so that I could count. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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Gracious rebel
Rainbow warrior
# 3523
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Posted
Ariel, I suspect your problem is a browser issue. I work in libraries, where our public computers have an old version of IE at present, (currently waiting for Chrome to be rolled out to all sites) and we get complaints almost daily from customers about Facebook performance.
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Fancy a break beside the sea in Suffolk? Visit my website
Posts: 4413 | From: Suffolk UK | Registered: Nov 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I have the latest version of Opera, updated as recently as this morning. Admittedly, it's running on an ancient pc, but I don't have a problem of this magnitude with any other site.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
[posted then absent: apologies]
Where have these folk gone?
Mostly they seem to prefere meeting people face to face, texting is in as well. Kitchen chats, shared play sessions and meeting up for days out and generally doing one's best for/ with family and friends.
Around here there's a ground swell of Distrust when it comes to FB and photos, esp of families and children. One can talk about controls and privacy settings, but in some circles it all falls on deaf ears.
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Catrine
Shipmate
# 9811
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
Friend is under a lot of pressure right now - job loss, last remaining relative very ill, etc, and a nerdy personality that doesn't do social very well. Turns out when he emailed me "I need..." the list didn't mean "it's your job to provide," he meant "do you have some of these you can give me?" He was under stress and worded it poorly.
What a nice friend you are. I have to admit, my first thought was how rude, but thank goodness there are people like you around to support others when they are feeling under pressure.
Posts: 2614 | From: Midlands | Registered: Jul 2005
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Facebook is a digital presence that shows you are alive and kicking to headhunters and the like if you are looking for work. If you DON'T have a profile, your digital presence is more limited. Plus, it's an extremely easy way to get a bunch of information out whenever somebody is going through a horrible time and needs support. For example, my ex-bf taking off in his car loaded with stuff out going out of state and breaking up with me via a text app. I just updated my status and viola, I had a bunch of people willing to put up my whinging, ready to give me support. It was a life-saver.
For me, I have a bunch of settings that are customized so I can spare those who may not want to hear so much of my facebook musings. I have the ability to make each post accessible to only a segment.
I know people that worked at Facebook. It's built in python (language) and teachers, head-hunters are NOT able to do searches on your facebook activity from your profile page. That is why some WINNERS made people seeking gainful employment hand over their passwords so they could rummage through their facebook (something being made illegal in many states now).
I think like anything, it involves discernment. And it is just another communication way.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ethne Alba:
Around here there's a ground swell of Distrust when it comes to FB and photos, esp of families and children. One can talk about controls and privacy settings, but in some circles it all falls on deaf ears.
I've been on forums where some people insisted everyone should always post with real name, and some out people just because they insist "no one should have to hide anything!" When you get someone with that attitude you can't keep their photos of you off facebook, and some delight in embarrassing photos as "amusing."
I avoid those people but you can't always escape them.
I'm suspecting privacy is dead anyway.
I recently installed a track blocking software, within two days it said it had blocked 500 efforts to track me. (I surf a lot.) Here on the ship it says one company is trying to track me - I'm guessing the ship itself for internal reasons, no big deal. On the IRS site (tax forms are due tomorrow) 3 companies are being blocked from tracking me.
On a "compare telephone plans "site, 15 are trying to track me, including three social sites. I'm not on any social sites but I suppose reading a public facebook page put their web bug on my computer.
For the past year(s) all these companies have been collecting data from me. Do I really believe they are *not* collecting all personal details they can, but just generalized interests? Ha.
On a Google docs page the software says "Google is one of several companies that secretly tracks you at millions of websites."
Meanwhile, should I really believe the track blocking software is a free gift, that they aren't collecting some data?
The trick now is probably not to figure out how to protect privacy from intruders, but how to live in a privacy-less world.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
One can talk about controls and privacy settings, but in some circles it all falls on deaf ears.
Privacy policies on Facebook are a massive as Facebook violate their own. They mean almost nothing.
[ 14. April 2013, 17:25: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I don't quite understand how all the different sites are linked, but notice some strange connections. For example, I booked a hotel in Scotland through searching for a site on Google. Next I know, suggestions for Hotels in exactly the same area start appearing on my Facebook page. This is in addition to YouTube telling me (grouped according to my various gmail addresses) what my favourite videos are - some looked up through Google and some linked to through Facebook, and making suggestions based on these for future viewing. Big Brother, or what? ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
I don't quite understand how all the different sites are linked, but notice some strange connections. For example, I booked a hotel in Scotland through searching for a site on Google. Next I know, suggestions for Hotels in exactly the same area start appearing on my Facebook page. This is in addition to YouTube telling me (grouped according to my various gmail addresses) what my favourite videos are - some looked up through Google and some linked to through Facebook, and making suggestions based on these for future viewing. Big Brother, or what?
No it is not Big Brother, and it is about more than facebook. It is about little bits of code and script left on your computer when you visit a site. Facebook cookies will send a little msg to other sites, and they to Facebook. In fact, the same holds true to advertising on the Ship (if you are not set up to have them never appear). If you visit any site, info is left, then the info is shared with advertisers and other sites and advertisers.
Solution: delete the cookies, always. My browser is set to delete all cookies without fail when ever the browser is closed. You will never get tracked if you do that. You can get 'do not track' extensions for most browsers, and they certainly work. CBC story with some more info
A note about browsers. They are not all alike in terms of privacy. You should assume that if you use Google Chrome, google is tracking you unless you specifically turn tracking off. It also locates your physical location, i.e., you town or city and displays ads to you with that knowledge. How to prevent Google from tracking you. We don't know fully what Microsoft's Internet Explorer is doing with our info as far as I know. Firefox and Opera are better choices than IE for certain re not being tied to a corporation.
In my opinion, a better solution is not to use the Chrome version of the browser. But use the Iron version of Chrome. Chrome is based on Linux which requires that there be no copyright, and that all code be freely available. Thus you can browse with Iron, and it will behave exactly like Chrome but Google-free.
I could go on, and discuss why using Google for internet searching is also not the right thing and the better choices, but that's a little farther afield.
[coding]
[ 15. April 2013, 03:57: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
No, you don't have to join Facebook. Nobody has to join any social network. Set your own rules, make your boundaries clear, do what you feel comfortable with.
That said, because so many people do use Facebook to connect, you also need to accept that your choice not to use Facebook will cost you some connections. Every choice you make has consequences and any mature person should be able to accept that.
The friend mentioned in the OP was rude -- not by throwing himself a birthday party or inviting people to bring potluck, both of which are quite acceptable in my social circle (so, presumably, in others too). Nor was it rude of him to set it up as a FB event -- that is, again, the default way many people organize events now. The rudeness was a) in assuming a friend who is known to not be on FB would somehow know about it without an invitation, and b) expecting a friend to "organize" something without ever being asked to do so.
B is a social gaffe so huge that it's well outside the range of this discussion so let's concentrate on A. If you choose not to use a commonly-used technology, it will inconvenience you. It will also inconvenience others. One of my best friends, who frequently changes plans at the last minute, refuses to carry a cell phone. These two qualities make for a bad combination as I've been stuck at the movie theatre waiting for her and wishing there was some way to confirm she was on her way. But whatever. I'm aware of her preference and though it annoys me, it's not a huge deal to accommodate it.
Similarly, I had a friend who refused to be on Facebook or use any other social media (she used email somewhat reluctantly). She preferred face-to-face communication, and old-fashioned letters where that was not possible. I accepted this preference of hers but it made me sad that I didn't have as much regular contact with her as I did with old friends who were on FB.
If you read the "cancer sucks" thread in Hell you may have seen me post that this friend just died. And my contact with her in the last few years of her life was more sporadic than I would have liked it to be, and I did not know that her treatment was not progressing well or her prognosis was poor, until very near the end, too late for more than a single exchange of letters.
Should I have put myself out more, to write more snail-mail or even e-mail letters? Yes, of course I should have. I am kicking myself for that. WOULD I have been more likely to keep in touch, and know how serious her condition was, if she'd been on Facebook? Absolutely (assuming she was on Facebook and actually using it regularly). Her lack of social networking does not in any way excuse my failures as a friend. It only means that if she had used that technology, it would have been easier for me to do what I should have done anyway -- keep in touch -- and thus I'd have been more likely to do it.
Facebook, like any technology, does a few things well and lots of things badly (and can be abused by people wanting to do the wrong things). The one thing it does really well, that no other technology was really doing before, is make it possible for friends and family who live far apart to have the kind of casual, day-by-day contact that you normally can only have with people you see all the time. You don't always want, or have time for, a long letter, just like you don't sit down with each of your friends for an hour-long conversation over coffee every day. But little things like "Oh, you have a new haircut!" or "Your children sure are growing up!" or "Nice pics from your trip to Italy" ... these kind of casual contacts are part and parcel of what make our face-to-face relationships meaningful and make us feel "close" to people. Prior to FB it was difficult if not impossible to have these kinds of contacts with a large group of friends and family far away. For anyone who's moved around a bit and left dear friends behind every place they've lived, Facebook was a godsend.
If you find the hassles of using it outweigh that benefit -- or if that particular benefit isn't very beneficial to you or doesn't meet a need in your life -- then it's perfectly fine to go without Facebook. But like anything else you choose not to use, there will obviously be some things you miss out on.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
It's perfectly fine to go without Facebook. But like anything else you choose not to use, there will obviously be some things you miss out on.
Ah, well. The world will continue to turn.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
If you find the hassles of using it outweigh that benefit -- or if that particular benefit isn't very beneficial to you or doesn't meet a need in your life -- then it's perfectly fine to go without Facebook. But like anything else you choose not to use, there will obviously be some things you miss out on.
I was a busy facebook user until recently and gave it up after 'losing' my account. (Old email address, forgotten password)
I'm not missing out at all. Friends who want to keep in touch, do. In fact I have had lunch with three of them now because we no longer chat on FB! Those who don't were not really friends, they were interested acquaintances.
The thing I have gained is time - always a valuable commodity!
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
I'm not missing out at all. Friends who want to keep in touch, do. In fact I have had lunch with three of them now because we no longer chat on FB! Those who don't were not really friends, they were interested acquaintances.
Well, sure, if your friends live in places where having lunch is a possibility, that's great. The friends who mean the most to me on Facebook live on average anywhere from 1000 - 4000 miles away, so lunch is not really an option. But again, if being off Facebook works well for you, that's great. Nobody has an obligation to use any technology; tools are to be used if they're useful.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
A comment about facebook and church came up locally here. If your church doesn't have young people, there is probably a correlation with not using facebook for the church's online presence, as well as probably not using other social media. As Jesus went eating meals with strangers, so we might consider facebooking with them.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
The friends who mean the most to me on Facebook live on average anywhere from 1000 - 4000 miles away, so lunch is not really an option.
What? You don't watch each other eating lunch via Skype? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
[Miss Amanda will demurely dab her lip, place her napkin back in its ring, and excuse herself from the table.]
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
I have had lunch with three of them now because we no longer chat on FB! Those who don't were not really friends, they were interested acquaintances.
I do think there's a lot of confusion between the concepts of friend and acquaintance. A friend you drop other interests to help them in need, and they likewise for you. An acquaintance - maybe, once, if it's convenient. Friendships take time, none of us have much time, so we have to choose and nurture a few friendships. Lots of casual acquaintances can create the illusion of lots of friends.
I gather from some reports that the facebook crowd is beginning to recognize that having "600 friends more than you do" is meaningless.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
It's perfectly fine to go without Facebook. But like anything else you choose not to use, there will obviously be some things you miss out on.
Ah, well. The world will continue to turn.
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. heh.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
I'm not missing out at all. Friends who want to keep in touch, do. In fact I have had lunch with three of them now because we no longer chat on FB! Those who don't were not really friends, they were interested acquaintances.
Well, sure, if your friends live in places where having lunch is a possibility, that's great. The friends who mean the most to me on Facebook live on average anywhere from 1000 - 4000 miles away, so lunch is not really an option. But again, if being off Facebook works well for you, that's great. Nobody has an obligation to use any technology; tools are to be used if they're useful.
Four years ago I moved to a new state to take up a new ministry role. The denominational department I work for specialises in placing people in remote, disadvantaged and vulnerable communities. And I do mean REMOTE in Australian understanding.... Like my parish boundaries are fours hours drive from my home... I drive four thous kms a month.
Anyway, Facebook has kept me sane. Yes, I have made friends here in the last few yeas, but most of the folk I know and love live thousands of kms away from me. Having lunch with thm is not an option. Annual vacation maybe....
I have family and friend all over the world. Thank God for FB. Without it, my remoteness would be even more remote.
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"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...
Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
I hope you didn't feel pressurised into actually joining Facebook, this seems a very sad reason for doing so. You are very gracious about your friend and he certainly wouldn't have been treated as kindly by me.
I do have a Facebook account and probably log in about every three months. I find it in the main an immense disappointment. Things don't appear in any sensible order and some seem to appear more than once. Also, a couple of people from the past that I've made contact with, and have vowed to keep in touch, haven't - not that this is Facebook's fault, of course. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
But there was one day when it did make me very happy. I found the account of someone I used to go out with. We broke up rather painfully and although I had apologised for my part in that I always wondered how his life had gone. He is married to the girl he started dating after me, and they have two lovely kids. ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif) I didn't try to contact him, I was just so glad to see it.
Nen - bless.
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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daisymay
St Elmo's Fire
# 1480
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Posted
What I "like" about facebook is that we have many many families all over the world and it gets us some connection with them, including pictures of them etc.
But, it is still very busy with all sorts of things being placed in and I wish that didn't happen.
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London
Flickr fotos
Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nenya:
I hope you didn't feel pressurised into actually joining Facebook,
I wouldn't join facebook for one person, it's rather that this incident confronted me what I think is happening all around me - people are putting info on facebook expecting anyone who wants to be part of their life will go to their facebook page to find out what's going on - what new job they got, when they will be throwing a party, that the husband is in the hospital and when visiting hours are, the pictures of the new baby.
I don't show up at the hospital or the party or send a text about how cute the new baby is (what baby, I didn't know your daughter was pregnant, that news was on facebook too!) because I don't know about these things, you assume I'm not responding because I'm not interested in your life, you stop making time to have lunch with me.
If I say "I want to see pics of the baby" I'm told "they are on facebook. " If I say I'm not on facebook I get an uncomprehending shrug, I do NOT get sent baby pics.
If you want to be connected you have to be where others connect, and unfortunately today that's facebook.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
If I say "I want to see pics of the baby" I'm told "they are on facebook. " If I say I'm not on facebook I get an uncomprehending shrug, I do NOT get sent baby pics.
Then, to be fair, they are not a real friend and not worth your trouble.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Exactly!
Take control of your own life and don't let life control you.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
If you have email it's quite easy for someone to send you a link to the Facebook album of their baby pictures without you having to actually be a Facebook member yourself, so there's no excuse for them not sending you the pictures (much easier than attaching a bunch of pictures to an email).
If you see the person face-to-face frequently enough that they can sit down and hand out a packet of printed-off pictures of the baby (do people even print off pictures anymore?) then you probably don't need to connect with them on Facebook.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
If you have email it's quite easy for someone to send you a link to the Facebook album of their baby pictures without you having to actually be a Facebook member yourself, so there's no excuse for them not sending you the pictures (much easier than attaching a bunch of pictures to an email).
That depends on your privacy settings, and many people are very careful about allowing the general public access to pictures of their children.
I would have thought that many people have close relatives who don't use Facebook and are unlikely to do so, but I suppose they tend to be in physical contact with them, and they probably get personal copies, or are physically shown the photos on a phone/laptop/tablet/whatever, and everyone else is expected to put themselves out to access them.
Personally I don't put any personal pictures onto Facebook, because they have an unfortunate tendency to claim rights over anything that is put onto what is ultimately their webspace and not ours.
I love the fact that I can keep in touch with a disparate and geographically widespread group of friends in a casual and frequent manner - I feel as though I regularly have coffee and a chat with people I would otherwise rarely see. I don't like Facebook's ethos and attitude, but I do like what it allows me to do. I am quite happy to use it as long as I keep a keen eye on my own and my friends' privacy settings. Having said that, neither I nor my friends use it to arrange parties or other offline events, and I hope it stays that way.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if your privacy is set to "Friends Only," (which mine is), at the bottom of every Facebook photo album is a link that says "Use this link to share this album with family and friends who aren't on Facebook." So if you have given the link to someone, they can view it (but the general public can't, without the link).
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
If I say "I want to see pics of the baby" I'm told "they are on facebook. " If I say I'm not on facebook I get an uncomprehending shrug, I do NOT get sent baby pics.
Then, to be fair, they are not a real friend and not worth your trouble.
I do not think it is this simple. Facebook is the current paradigm for some and they simply do not see beyond it.
This is not a justification, far from it. But, as in most of human interaction, the lines are not clear and sharp.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if your privacy is set to "Friends Only," (which mine is), at the bottom of every Facebook photo album is a link that says "Use this link to share this album with family and friends who aren't on Facebook." So if you have given the link to someone, they can view it (but the general public can't, without the link).
I haven't got anything like that, but FB are always introducing or testing new things a bit at a time, so it's possible that some accounts do have it. It seems like quite a good idea, but also another area where privacy might well be more easily compromised.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
User error is likely the largest reason privacy is compromised on FB. However, when web services change their policies or implementation, they often change your settings to the default. And this is not typically very private. Routinely check.
And, as I've mentioned, Facebook violate their own privacy policies.
There are no fail safes, however.
Basically, if you cannot stand everyone viewing your pics or info, do not share it with anyone.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
If you see the person face-to-face frequently enough that they can sit down and hand out a packet of printed-off pictures of the baby (do people even print off pictures anymore?) then you probably don't need to connect with them on Facebook.
What seems most common now is people will ask "Do you want to see my new grandbaby, puppy, whatever" and then pull out their phone rather than their wallet. (I still have pix in my wallet; my phone doesn't do pictures.)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Okay, this is a rant about FB--but your friend is throwing a party in honor of himself? And expects the guests to do all the organizing/ shopping/ cooking? And saddles YOU unasked (just commanded) with the job of organizing it? And then bitches when you haven't received his not-an-invitation?
Someone needs to go all Miss Manners on his ass.
I totally agree with Lamb Chopped. The rudeness and arrogance of the man! (This man is NOT A FRIEND)
I send e-mails or phone call if I would want a party and I CERTAINLY would not tell someone to organize it for me! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
I do have a Facebook page and find I keep in touch with relatives's and family. BUT, I will call and e-mail because I won't post anything that I wouldn't make public to all. I e-mail private conversations. or use the phone or text.
I find Twitter absolutely ridiculous. I have a real life and telling what I am doing every second via Twitter would be the height of egomania. Ain't going to happen.
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Drifting Star:
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if your privacy is set to "Friends Only," (which mine is), at the bottom of every Facebook photo album is a link that says "Use this link to share this album with family and friends who aren't on Facebook." So if you have given the link to someone, they can view it (but the general public can't, without the link).
I haven't got anything like that, but FB are always introducing or testing new things a bit at a time, so it's possible that some accounts do have it. It seems like quite a good idea, but also another area where privacy might well be more easily compromised.
It's not a new feature, but it's only on the pictures I uploaded myself, as far as I can see.
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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.
Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
If I say "I want to see pics of the baby" I'm told "they are on facebook. " If I say I'm not on facebook I get an uncomprehending shrug, I do NOT get sent baby pics.
It doesn't take two minutes to attach pictures to an email and send it. For a long time I wasn't on Facebook and my friends used to email me photos. Sometimes they still do if I'm RL friends with them but not linked on FB.
Life is too short to waste it chasing unresponsive people who aren't prepared even to click a couple of buttons for you (or who tell you to host a party for them). With the best will in the world you cannot make a relationship work if the other party isn't willing. Let them go if that's what they want. There are other people out there who will value you more.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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SusanDoris
Incurable Optimist
# 12618
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Posted
I'm bookmarking this topic, since the interesting info in it is just like having a tutorial to refer to. My screen reader doesn't really like Face Book much, but I'm slowly learning to use bits of it.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Posts: 3083 | From: UK | Registered: May 2007
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
Basically common sense rulz. I chek my privacies often. Generally I refrain from saying "Bishop X is an egotistical syphilitic kiddy-fiddling fucktard" if I want a job in Bishop X's diocese. The same probabaly would go for the equivalent figures in real jobs.
LOL, I get the impression a lot of people think "I'm never going to work for him so what do I care." Then you move. And then he moves. And there you are.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ye Olde Motherboarde:
I find Twitter absolutely ridiculous. I have a real life and telling what I am doing every second via Twitter would be the height of egomania. Ain't going to happen.
Of course, you don't have to use Twitter that way. Almost all my Twitter communication is finding out what are the latest links to church news stories. If you have a special interest or theme, and only follow those who have the same, you are far more likely to have a productive time than if you just spout, and listen to, general twaddle.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
I had promised myself I wouldn't go on Facebook - then Lord P moved to Horsham and friends were suddenly telling us about the lovely photos he'd posted and information which he certainly hadn't told us. So I signed up just to find out what my son was actually up to! It's proved to be very useful - being able to communicate in real time is very handy, and I am regularly in contact with one particular friend who only lives the other side of town but I don't see that often.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Of course, you don't have to use Twitter that way. Almost all my Twitter communication is finding out what are the latest links to church news stories. If you have a special interest or theme, and only follow those who have the same, you are far more likely to have a productive time than if you just spout, and listen to, general twaddle.
Yes, I use Twitter like that. I have a few friends that I chat with, and the rest is effectively a newsfeed for organisations I'm interested in, the weather, the BBC, flood warnings, a very small number of comedians who post funny one-liners but don't go overboard, etc. It can be very useful if you pick and choose who you follow.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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