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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Single women treated as 'threat to church couples'
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MrsM
Apprentice
# 14940
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Posted
Never mind the girls, have you seen the drummer in our worship band???
ahem...carry on...
Posts: 14 | From: the dining room, normally | Registered: Jul 2009
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
Single people (women or men) are the volunteers that carry the church ime. They tend to have the most free time/least ties on their time and energy...
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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chris stiles
Shipmate
# 12641
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
When I'm married with children, I'll sell my attendance to the highest bidding church. Revised on a weekly basis.
That tends to happen already - the programatic focus of mega-churches is testament to that.
Posts: 4035 | From: Berkshire | Registered: May 2007
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OddJob
Shipmate
# 17591
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Posted
Agree with sarkycow - I'm grateful for the largely single people who run many activities in our church.
The thread title only refers to one gender, but I'm pleased that the comments don't trot out the old myth of single Christians being nearly all female. My experience, having been in 6 churches in 4 cities, is that the opposite tends to be true in the 22-28 age group, it's then evenly balanced up to about 35, before male participation falls alarmingly.
My view is that it can be difficult for single members to be accepted if they are in a minority gender for their age group.
Posts: 97 | From: West Midlands | Registered: Mar 2013
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George Spigot
Outcast
# 253
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Leprechaun:
Anyway, I'm surprised to hear this talk about the expectation of marriage in con-evo circles. When I was at uni I was part of a flagship con-evo church and the air was very much "get married if you must, in order to deal with lust, but if you can keep that under control, singleness will help you be devoted to the Gospel."
Not that I think that's any healthier than the type of thing I'm reading on this thread.
Indeed. I'd go further and say as advce to single people goes its mind boggling idiotic and harm full. Where the hell would anyone get such a stupid idea from...........oh Paul you master troll you.
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C.S. Lewis's Head is just a tool for the Devil. (And you can quote me on that.) ~
Philip Purser Hallard
http://www.thoughtplay.com/infinitarian/gbsfatb.html
Posts: 1625 | From: Derbyshire - England | Registered: May 2001
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Clint Boggis
Shipmate
# 633
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by OddJob:
Agree with sarkycow - I'm grateful for the largely single people who run many activities in our church.
The thread title only refers to one gender, but I'm pleased that the comments don't trot out the old myth of single Christians being nearly all female. My experience, having been in 6 churches in 4 cities, is that the opposite tends to be true in the 22-28 age group, it's then evenly balanced up to about 35, before male participation falls alarmingly.
My view is that it can be difficult for single members to be accepted if they are in a minority gender for their age group.
My experience of a very family-oriented church some years ago was that 'family' (oddly, mostly as a concept, and less on the practicalities of living with people you love) was mentioned at almost every opportunity but a lot of the real practical work in the church was done by singles. I worked on the sound system, lighting for church productions, help with the church's brief foray into printing and helped with youth work. Most of those functions were also single. Music group were mostly single but led by a couple. All Church leadership positions were exclusively the preserve of married men or couples. The distinction wasn't discussed but they seemed to think this was how things should be.
The overwhelming family-obsession was one of the main factors which made me leave. Part of it was that I never really felt I was at the heart of life in the church. Having left, when I was tentatively seeking alternative places to make my spiritual home the obvious one seemed to be "[place name] Family Church" but I still can't get past my revulsion at the name and the feeling that like the other place they don't welcome me or people like me and don't care who knows it.
Now in later life and still single, I'm one of those who you say ".... before male participation falls alarmingly."
As St Punk similarly notes:
quote:
There's a church down the street called "Family First Church." Leaving aside the brazen statement of idolatry, guess what this single thinks of that.
Posts: 1505 | From: south coast | Registered: Jun 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
Leprechaun: When I was at uni I was part of a flagship con-evo church and the air was very much "get married if you must, in order to deal with lust, but if you can keep that under control, singleness will help you be devoted to the Gospel."
It doesn't even rhyme well ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
'Control' and 'Gospel' don't rhyme at all.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
You could substitute "well" for control without much loss of meaning - but it still wouldn't scan.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by St. Punk the Pious:
There's a church down the street called "Family First Church." Leaving aside the brazen statement of idolatry, guess what this single thinks of that.
To be fair to them, at least they're honest; many churches claim that 'all are welcome', when this really isn't the case.
On the other hand, there's the notion that all members of a church congregation are part of a family (i.e. brothers and sisters in Christ), and perhaps this is what the church down your way is getting at by choosing that name. It doesn't necessarily mean that they only want nuclear families to attend.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
You could substitute "well" for control without much loss of meaning - but it still wouldn't scan.
OK. How's about:
Marry if you must,
It will help you deal with lust.
But the singles will live well
In devotion to the Gospel.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Said the Rector, 'Pair up if you must,
For it's better to marry than burn.
And if you're afflicted by lust,
There's a remedy to which to turn.
But the end of the world is at hand,
So a pious and sensible WASP'll
Decline the plain, high-carat band,
Stay virgin, and cling to the Gospel.'
[ 16. May 2013, 22:49: Message edited by: Amos ]
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Shakespeare himself couldn't have said it better! ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Second verse:
That said, it is still very true
In this parish, at least, as in all,
If you wish to be one of the crew,
You'll show up with wife, kids, and all.
For the unmarried lady will lure
The most virtuous husband astray,
And the unmarried gent -- well, we're sure
Who he really quite fancies, wot eh?
[ 17. May 2013, 01:46: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
By George, I think we've got it!
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) Loving the poems guys, but I suspect we'll be asked to head up to Heaven with any more.
Heading back into discussion territory -
How come single blokes aren't treated as a thread to church couples? Are married women seen as better able to resist the lures of the singleton? Or are single men not avid homewreckers? ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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wishandaprayer
Shipmate
# 17673
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
How come single blokes aren't treated as a thread to church couples? Are married women seen as better able to resist the lures of the singleton? Or are single men not avid homewreckers?
Because all Christians know that sex was created just for men to enjoy, and women have no problem with these urges. I know it's true, Mark Driscoll told me. ![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif)
Posts: 94 | Registered: May 2013
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
How come single blokes aren't treated as a threat to church couples? Are married women seen as better able to resist the lures of the singleton? Or are single men not avid homewreckers?
Same concept as women having to wear veils since men have no self-control.
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sarkycow:
How come single blokes aren't treated as a thread to church couples?
Because younger unmarried men are expected to want to shack up with the young unmarried girls ASAP (*) and so have no interest in already-married women; and middle-aged or older unmarried men are assumed to be pathetic losers (**) that no sane woman (***) would dream of having an affair with.
(*) It is a thing universally acknowledged.
(**) Or at best one or more of gay, celibate, or medically incapable of sex.
(***) Whether married or not.
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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