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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Isolated Individuals
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HCH
Shipmate
# 14313
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Posted
A comment I have repeatedly encountered on the Ship and elsewhere is that Christianity is a communal religion of congregations and local churches. Jesus said that where two or three were gathered together, he would be with them; he did not say this about one person at a time. The Lord's Prayer is written in the first person plural, not singular.
On the other hand, we now have a world of increasing mobility and isolation. Many of us live in towns without relatives at hand. It is easy to envision people who cannot easily attend church services: firefighters and policemen and others working particular shifts, traveling salesmen and truck drivers, college students living in dorms miles from town, and old people who no longer have cars (or never did). I would also mention ex-convicts, some families of autistic children, and a lot of impoverished folk who are intimidated because they can't afford nice clothing or get their hair done or have a tin ear and can't sing the hymns well. It is easy enough to suggest that an old lady should get a ride from someone, but do you mean she should accept an endless succession of favors she can never repay?
I see a need for outreach to isolated people. I think the way to do it nowadays is through the WWW: webcast services, Bible discussion blogs, keep-in-touch emails, etc. I know some of this is going on, but I think there is some of the opposite: "If he really cared, he'd put in for a different shift" and "Our Sunday School is not equipped for her child" and "Hardly anyone [not no one] will care how you're dressed."
I think we need to try to include everyone; I don't think that means they all have to come to church services. What do you think?
Posts: 1540 | From: Illinois, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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Olaf
Shipmate
# 11804
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Posted
Churches need to find a way around the numbers game. Yes, we'll offer more services* when we have more people, but how can we work together with other churches to offer those services now? Why wait? *By services, I don't mean only worship opportunities, but also the sorts of thing that HCH mentioned in paragraph 3.
Money is the issue, collaboration in order to pool money could be an answer.
Posts: 8953 | From: Ad Midwestem | Registered: Sep 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
There are many people who work from home and who have no relatives in reasonable (say 1 hour drive distance) proximity: unless they need to go to a shop they can go for lengthy periods seeing no one. I short, these people could be classified as "isolated" and I'd suggest that a strategy based on keeping in touch via the web will only add to the problem.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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HCH
Shipmate
# 14313
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Posted
You may be correct. The web can add to isolation for some people. What other possibilities come to mind?
Posts: 1540 | From: Illinois, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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PhilA
shipocaster
# 8792
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Posted
Personally, I think that actual, communal worship is massively important to Christianity.
We have started a 'families@4' service, once a month, at 4pm on a Sunday to cater for families that, for whatever reasons, don't/can't go to church at a more traditional time, but still want to 'do' church.
We are seriously considering a youth service on a week day evening as the family service has been very popular and well attended.
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To err is human. To arr takes a pirate.
Posts: 3121 | From: Sofa | Registered: Nov 2004
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Gramps49
Shipmate
# 16378
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Posted
Isolation is for the most part self imposed. Being away from family is no excuse. I find my congregation becomes my extended family. I can't think of a college or university setting that does not have religious programs nearby. Occupational conflicts do happen, but again, with a little effort one can usually find a church that a service that will be compatible with ones schedule.
Still, I would grant we have to look for ways to break through the self imposed isolation people get themselves into.
Posts: 2193 | From: Pullman WA | Registered: Apr 2011
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
I would disagree on the self imposed idea. All sorts of situations can lead to it.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HCH:
The web can add to isolation for some people. What other possibilities come to mind?
Some people are isolated (even if they regularly attend services) because they do not have a computer or other access to the internet. How many congregations send out newsletter via email only, allowing people to show up at church completely unaware that an event is going to happen that they could have prepared for?
As for people who can't get to church or can't access the web, I think nothing beats good old fashioned home visitation--and I don't think it should be considered a job only for the pastor.
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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HCH
Shipmate
# 14313
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Posted
I was expecting someone to mention home visitation. I think many people would feel decidedly threatened by such an event and would resent it. Let's not drive people away.
Posts: 1540 | From: Illinois, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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Horseman Bree
Shipmate
# 5290
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Posted
Maybe just speaking with/establishing contact with individuals is a good start. Not at home to start - you can work out if that would be helpful later.
Just be open to actually talking. And then do it.
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It's Not That Simple
Posts: 5372 | From: more herring choker than bluenose | Registered: Dec 2003
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Gramps49
Shipmate
# 16378
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Posted
As I said most isolation is self imposed. Most, not all. There are some forms of isolation that are because of illness or infirmity.
It is true that computers and the internet have made people more interconnected but I can also argue that they are also isolating. When people focus more on what is happening on the computer and ignoring communal activities, there is something wrong.
Not too long ago there was a discussion on s-o-f about the possibility of virtual/digital Lord's supper. There is a reason why another name for the Lord's Supper is "Holy Communion." It is a common meal.
Posts: 2193 | From: Pullman WA | Registered: Apr 2011
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gramps49:
As I said most isolation is self imposed. Most, not all. There are some forms of isolation that are because of illness or infirmity.
And in which group do you count the quiet, shy people who have little in common with their workmates? You can see someone every day, and he can still be isolated.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
Isn't this website one such place for isolated individuals to socialize? Are there any changes that would make it more useful for this purpose?
Is that a good idea or is random interaction more useful than a program?
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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The Phantom Flan Flinger
Shipmate
# 8891
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
And in which group do you count the quiet, shy people who have little in common with their workmates? You can see someone every day, and he can still be isolated. [/QB]
Hear, hear.
May the Lord help us to notice people like this, and give us the wisdom to reach out to them. ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
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http://www.faith-hope-and-confusion.com/
Posts: 1020 | From: Leicester, England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
I would quibble still about the "most". And wonder about why people self impose isolation. And consider that illness and infirmity aren't the whole of the external reasons by any means.
I have seen it argued that shyness is a deliberate choice, and thus able to be criticised. Not that that is an argument that I would agree with.
I do remember why I didn't go to the church down the road from where I used to live. Apart from them using some service that did not seem to bear any relationship to the BCP. It was because I was leapt on with effusive greetings on arrival, and assumptions made about the sort of beliefs I had. So I suppose I self imposed that bit of isolation.
So criticise.
This has led me to some thoughts about myself, and how things have deep roots. As a child I would go round trying to find someone to play with, only to be turned away from classmates' homes. Alternatively, when I was older, in my teens, people would seek my friendship who I was not particularly drawn to, and without shared interests, but whom I would go round with out of politeness. Both situations I would prefer to avoid as an adult. I don't want to be rejected, and I don't want to reject.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
quote:
posted by Gramps 49
Isolation is for the most part self imposed. Being away from family is no excuse.
Either you have very little imagination or you have been exceedingly fortunate in having family and friends who don't fall out or do nasty things to each other.
Not everyone is as fortunate as you.
People with combative and/or cold families can find it very hard to take other people on board because they are reluctant to open themselves up to more pain.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
Some would, but people aren't all the same. I am reminded of E who called one couple her angels because they visited her during the last three years of her life when she was completely shut-in.
Home visits work when there's an existing relationship or the person visiting has a way in that enables them to build one. Thinking of the "shut-ins" at our church - the people who can't get out to services - most them are elderly and infirm or carers. The Internet isn't really an option - they don't have access to a PC or tablet.
Rev T visits them regularly and encourages members of the congregation who know them well to keep in touch. It works reasonably well, but some find visits either than others.
Tubbs
PS Gramps49, you seem to be making it all the isolated person's fault. That probably isn't a helpful approach when thinking about how best to help someone in that situation. Particularly when the reasons that they're isolated in the first place may be because they can't just pop out to church however much they wanted too.
[ 31. July 2013, 12:21: Message edited by: Tubbs ]
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Some of us just find that for some reason - our lack of interest in small talk, lack of shared interests, that we can be isolated even whilst surrounded by people.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Given the numbers of people who choose to attend church when I'm stewarding - to sit and pray on their own, light a candle, enjoy the peace and quiet - there's a lot to be said for the church being open at times other than services. Not all people want a communal experience.
But for those who want to attend at set times, with others, do other churches and secular organisations have what we have? A central contact number to ring to arrange for someone to give you a lift.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HCH:
I was expecting someone to mention home visitation. I think many people would feel decidedly threatened by such an event and would resent it. Let's not drive people away.
Well, having done my share of home visits leads me to believe that 1) if you call first, and 2) ifthe person would welcome contact, then home visits work quite well.
I think they get a bad rap when compared with evangelizing doorbell-ringers.
It doesn't take much to determine that a person would be put off by a home visit, esp. if they say they are not up to having a visitor.
And sometimes, just the phone call is sufficient.
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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