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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The All New Mornington Crescent Show
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
I will spork that out by going to North Greenwich.
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Now that spoons, forks and sundry items of cutlery are off-limits until at least the fourth Sunday in Trinity, other forms of weaponry will have to be deployed:
Cannon Street
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
Weaponry, is it?
Well, in that case, a brief diversion to Woolwich Arsenal is called for, to pick up some supplies. Don't forget to bring enough for everyone, and you'll need a fair amount of spin to get the right temporal bounce off the river.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
I thought that Westminster was the place for spin? Or was that only under New Labour?
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
That was only New Labour, this lot gave up spin in favour of outright lies.
Speaking of which, I am going to tell you I am moving to Turnham Green. You have to work out whether I have just lied or I am simply spinning, and make your move accordingly. Chapter LXVIII of the rulebook may or may not make your life easier.
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Andy, I'm horrified that you would even think of fibbing.
ITTWACW!!! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
However, I'm grateful for your dissembling, not to mention your pericombobulation, as it leaves me no option but a neat cross-court diagonal lob to ...
MORNINGTON CRESCENT!! ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
Now, as per the Treaty of Killiecrankie (1967) as amended by the Concordat of Trondheim (1992), a new game being started on the last Friday in May by a player with Orcadian ancestry has to begin with Thurso as there aren't any stations* in Orkney.
* unless you count fire-stations, police-stations and the long-defunct egg-packing station ... ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
[ 01. June 2013, 01:01: Message edited by: piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
Thurso is a fair bit north. From there I guess one can get to King's Cross by invoking the Rowling rule. No coffee or tea on the train, only hot chocolate (spicy).
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Well played, Piglet!
After that long trip I think we should head to South Kensington for a rest.
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
Now, as per the Treaty of Killiecrankie (1967) as amended by the Concordat of Trondheim (1992), a new game being started on the last Friday in May by a player with Orcadian ancestry has to begin with Thurso as there aren't any stations* in Orkney.
* unless you count fire-stations, police-stations and the long-defunct egg-packing station ...
<railway nut tangent>
There have however been plenty of railways on Orkney: there was (quite recently) the Sanday Light Railway and before that any number of industrial and military narrow gauge railways.
Old railways are like rats: you're closer to them than you would expect.
</railway nut tangent>
[ 01. June 2013, 13:46: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Should we interpret that as a move to Sanday?
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Net Spinster:
Thurso is a fair bit north ...
Not if you're from Orkney: it's definitely "Sooth".
I once heard of someone from Shetland who was asked on an official form for his nearest railway station, and he put Bergen.
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Cherry Orchard and Parkwest - takes some complex shunting, but I was able to avoid splitting up into two threads.
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by AndyB:
Cherry Orchard and Parkwest - takes some complex shunting, but I was able to avoid splitting up into two threads.
Since I think someone has invoked either the implied ferrying rule or the silent circumalbion rule, the only option is to continue so onto Sandown.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Sticking with the racing theme: Epsom. Now that it's no longer Sunday, I hope those of you of a delicate disposition won't object to a wee flutter ...
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
And for those who do object, hie thee to South Kensington, where the Natural History Museum butterfly exhibit offers a different kind of flutter.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Shame I wasn't here to put piglet under a Double Crust before that naughty little low straight there.
Assuming that hearts have been broken I think it's probably safe to play a double jump (indeed, it's essential to avoid being huffed) which I think puts my Armour Class to -2 with no loss of hit points and my green counter safely at Leicester Square. -2 to hit against Chaotic Evil (e.g. City of London Taxi Drivers) of course.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
On the other hand, we cyclists neutralise the taxi drivers with our chaotic evil (even the lawful good among us, ie me!) and will take you evil doers off to Tower Gateway where you can repent at leisure.
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Clearly this is a very dangerous place for those who have necks to be severed, so you will want a halberd that is well-crafted and sharp. Sheffield (Victoria) might seem appropriate.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
I think hiding out at Royal Oak is obligatory after that move.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
... I wasn't here to put piglet under a Double Crust ...
Thank God for that - I think I'd be a bit tough.
If poor Charles I couldn't find a royal oak, would a Gospel Oak do? Or would it be full of Puritans?
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
... I wasn't here to put piglet under a Double Crust ...
Thank God for that - I think I'd be a bit tough.
If poor Charles I couldn't find a royal oak, would a Gospel Oak do? Or would it be full of Puritans?
Botany day rule, I see. Surely some royal oaks can be found at Kew Gardens.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Plenty of queues on Saturday afternoons (in season) at Arsenal.
(Probably for burgers at half-time).
[ 04. June 2013, 07:40: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
It all sounds Barking to me
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
After reading the teddy-bear story in the Random thread in Heaven, I think Paddington would be an appropriate move. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Time for a run to Ongar
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Phweeeeeeep!
Unless I'm very much mistaken (always a possibility!) then that's a Fool's Mate in four unless of course there's a pinned Knight on the fourth rank (or indeed a skewered pawn, but that goes within saying). A Brooke-Taylor stalemate could also beckon, but that depends on which way the wind is blowing in Svalbard, as eny fule no.
Ches Ham used to play a really good end game in situations like this. Before that business with the Leamington Spa crowd buggered everything up, of course, he was playing in a final against Ed Jwair up, IIRC, in Otley. Anyway, Ed had lined up all his blue counters in a beautiful diagonal, when out of the blue Ches played Camden Town. What no-one realised was that this allowed him to then go on to spell out "Ed Smells of Poo" on the adjudicator's Underground map. Juvenile, perhaps, but how we laughed.
Perhaps you had to be there.
Edgeware Road
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
For the avoidance of doubt, which one? (and I don't mean Edgware or Edgeware)
[ 06. June 2013, 21:24: Message edited by: AndyB ]
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
I think Baker Street is a good play under Doyle's rule no matter which Edgware Road is meant.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Conan might prefer Barbican even though the spelling isn't quite right for him, but that was the best I could do under rule 657(a)(i)(9).
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
AndyB - it's a shame you didn't follow the above mentioned game as you would have been aware that Ed saved it at the crux by playing a reverse symmetry; predicting twelve no-score draws and a late kick-off at Old Trafford he played King to Hyde Park Corner (castles), leaving four overtricks and with hearts trumps, a high straight beating the previous full house. Seeing Ches' monkey and raising him a pony, he was able to bluff his way to Goodge Street and the game went on for some hours.
It's a shame you didn't spot that, really, because this post is really just a long way of saying MORNINGTON CRESCENT!
I'll restart us all at Mudchute
[ 07. June 2013, 12:23: Message edited by: Karl: Liberal Backslider ]
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Oh dear. The problem with starting there is it's a very slippery slope.
Let's raise the tone a little at Covent Garden
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
Time for me to step back into the fray. I've been analyzing your tactics for the last few rounds, and I'm pretty confident that Wood Lane will leave you all stumped.
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Oh God. I have a sneaky suspicion that KLB is referring to that game whose arcane mysteries are kept secret from all but the Chosen, and despite having a husband who's English and a father-in-law who used to be Chairman of a Cricket Club, I wouldn't dare presume ... but I suspect my only real option is ...
St. John's Wood
PS Well done, KLB, on an excellent win.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
Deuce, I think I must volley Southfields according to court rules.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
That forces me to swap court, performing a reverse shunt to Chancery Lane
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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AndyB
Shipmate
# 10186
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Posted
Those puns will drive me round the bend to Mornington Crescent!
Let's have a more open game this time and restart quietly at Acton Town.
Posts: 149 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
[whispers] Well done, Andy.
I reckon by this time of night Heathrow Terminals 1, 2 and 3 should be fairly quiet as most of the planes will have gone, even the one to St. John's, which is usually the last of the evening.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
If you wish for quiet and under the necropolitan rule, to West Brompton hie.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
It's really far too quiet now; I want a bit of excitement:
Piccadilly Circus
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
Come, come - it's so touristy. Why not try the classier delights of Sloane Square?
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Because it's spooned? I think that gives a free pass to a mainline interchange under the M'Naughton rules, but I'm going to forgo that, take the four points for a miss and replace the cue-ball for you to take it again. I think that leaves you needing snookers, which could be tricky at this stage with the reds all gone and the brown up against the baulk.
Which naturally enough allows me to play Sheffield Cathedral {Supertram].
Meadowhell is of course in Nidd. In fact, it's best to consider it to be perpetually in Nidd.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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The Weeder
Shipmate
# 11321
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Posted
O.K., Karl, if you are going to play dirty, I am going to
Severn Tunnel Junction
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Still missing the gator
Posts: 2542 | From: LaLa Land | Registered: Apr 2006
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
Hare to Sheffield Park under Trevelyan Lake Hunt rules, permissible since bluebell season is over.
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
... Supertram ...
As in Breakfast in America?
Meanwhile, back at the game:
Assuming that north of the river is not in spoon until at least tomorrow lunch-time, Queensbury should be quite a sensible move.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
You'd like to think so, wouldn't you? Of course, if the Leamington Spa mob had their way, there'd be no way out of that other than a diversion to Harrow and Wealdstone. I've long concluded that the primary motivation of that crowd is to make the game as simple and easy as possible. I sometimes think they'd be better off playing Mousetrap.
Anyway, that's two kings for white, so at the risk of being huffed, I'm going to tiddle my wink over to Tottenham Court Road
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I have a feeling you can get arrested for that sort of thing, KLB. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
In which case you may end up at the Old Bailey, so our next stop better be St. Paul's.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Net Spinster
Shipmate
# 16058
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Posted
And after that a certain prison near East Acton
Does this remove the player from play?
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spinner of webs
Posts: 1093 | From: San Francisco Bay area | Registered: Dec 2010
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