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Source: (consider it) Thread: English as she isn't spoke
marsupial.
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When we were in Hong Kong last year about the last thing we did before getting on the train to the airport was to browse the Dimocks bookstore in the International Financial Centre mall (which is also where the Airport train leaves from). Our one purchase there was a little book called "Chinglish", a photo collection of Chinese signs, mostly with some Chinese text and an approximate translation into English. . The first specimen, and the inspiration for the book, is a sign inside the passenger compartment of a Beijing taxi, the Chinese version of which reminds the passenger to collect their belongings (so I am told) but the English version of which reads: "Don't forget to carry your thing".
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Carex
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A sign in our hotel in Korea welcomed us to the "Land of the Morning Clam".
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moron
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A guy's sig on a motorcycle forum I visit quotes a 1960s Japanese manual recommending the rider 'tootle vigorously' to warn dogs which is, I guess, sound advice.


Sorry.

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Kasra
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I am reminded of my favorite hotel/restaurant in the Middle East. I finally got them trained that I liked my red wine at room temp not cold... anyway, their menus were always a source of amusement. You could get "Chicken Gordon Blue", for example, or (a personal favorite) "Chicken Beast" smothered in a variety of sauces! I haven't been back in a while, but a visiting colleague reports that nothing has changed.

Kx

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Sir Kevin
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quote:
Originally posted by moron:
A guy's sig on a motorcycle forum I visit quotes a 1960s Japanese manual recommending the rider 'tootle vigorously' to warn dogs which is, I guess, sound advice.


Sorry.

When I were a lad, all of my motorcycles could outrun dogs, especially the big one with four cylindres. I did not need to tootle!

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

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Niminypiminy
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I used to live near to a Chinese-owned fish and chip shop. Portions of fish were advertised in two sizes: 'big' and 'large'. In the dark ages of, um, about twenty-five years ago that seemed hilarious. But with the arrival of starbuck-sizes (tall, grande and the like) it no longer seems so notable, alas. It was a great chippie, too.

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http://www.theunequalstruggle.com/

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balaam

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
When I were a lad, all of my motorcycles could outrun dogs, especially the big one with four cylindres. I did not need to tootle!

I'd love to see a big four cylinder dog.

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Last ever sig ...

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Fr Weber
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There's a restaurant in Berkeley whose previous owner (now deceased) used to take pride in writing up his own menus. Trouble is, he was often too potted to bother to spell or proofread properly.

I have a copy of a menu from 2007 here. On April 3 of that year, a luncheon customer could feast himself on "Lemon thyme fettacinni with chicken, choriza, mushrooms, spicey maranaria sauce and pramasan cheese". Or perhaps a nice chicken breast with "cherry toamto relish". Also on offer were "chicken normandy with mushroom, oinions in a cream sauce with coucus and vegetables," some salmon medallions served with "tatar" sauce and served over "watercrest" salad, quiche baked in a "puff pastery" with "red pepper colius," a lovely tomato salad with "red oinons, baisl and goat cheese", and duck confit with "rassberry vinagrette."

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"The Eucharist is not a play, and you're not Jesus."

--Sr Theresa Koernke, IHM

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Kasra
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One of the local fast food joints on my drive home has recently been advertising the new "trukey and bacon" sandwich.

Old family habit, this critiquing of menus... my little brother would have had a field day in the above-poster's restaurant!

Kx

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Can you spare $13.10 to help find a cure for Leukemia, Lymphoma and Myeloma? http://pages.teamintraining.org/ne/kc12/cburberqb8#home

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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Sign in a deli window in the Brooklyn neighborhood I used to live in: "Freshly grounded coffee".

No pesky static discharges in my joe, thank you very much.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Fr Weber
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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Sign in a deli window in the Brooklyn neighborhood I used to live in: "Freshly grounded coffee".

No pesky static discharges in my joe, thank you very much.

Maybe that's just a roundabout way of saying "No coffee to go."

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"The Eucharist is not a play, and you're not Jesus."

--Sr Theresa Koernke, IHM

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Sign in a deli window in the Brooklyn neighborhood I used to live in: "Freshly grounded coffee".

No pesky static discharges in my joe, thank you very much.

Years ago (and I wish I'd had a camera) I saw a restaurant advertising a "free picture of beer." It would have been delightfully cruel if that's what they actually meant. [Two face]

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

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Rosa Winkel

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When I was a permanent in Taize in 2003 I went into the kitchen and saw a list of instructions which included the words (bear in mind this was ten years ago, but went something like):

On Fridays we wear gloves against the creatures we don't like.

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The Disability and Jesus "Locked out for Lent" project

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Sipech
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I once ended up in a Korean restaurant in Jakarta (don't ask how) and having tried guava juice and decided it wasn't to my taste, I asked for some lemonade. Though I am a monoglot, I tried as best as I could to make myself understood. i.e. speaking slowly and loudly.

I ended up with a lemon, cut in 2.

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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
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Firenze

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quote:
Originally posted by Rosa Winkel:

On Fridays we wear gloves against the creatures we don't like.

That raises so many questions.
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jedijudy

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quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
I ended up with a lemon, cut in 2.

When life hands you lemons....
[Biased]

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Rosa Winkel

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quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
I once ended up in a Korean restaurant in Jakarta (don't ask how) and having tried guava juice and decided it wasn't to my taste, I asked for some lemonade. Though I am a monoglot, I tried as best as I could to make myself understood. i.e. speaking slowly and loudly.

Travelling with Ukrainian airlines I reminded the stewardess that I had booked vegetarian food. She was puzzled and went away, coming back with a tomato and cucumber, saying "you said you wanted vegetables". (I mean, I could and did eat them, but still.)

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The Disability and Jesus "Locked out for Lent" project

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la vie en rouge
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tangent/ Ukrainian Airlines has the dubious honour of having served me what was possibly the worst meal I have ever eaten. You got off lightly with the vegetables. /tangent

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Rent my holiday home in the South of France

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no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
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quote:
Originally posted by moron:
A guy's sig on a motorcycle forum I visit quotes a 1960s Japanese manual recommending the rider 'tootle vigorously' to warn dogs which is, I guess, sound advice.


Sorry.

This sort of English was common in the Caribbean, e.g. Trinidad or Guyana in the 1970s. I always chuckled at it because we also tootled, uh, er, related to bodily functions.
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Baptist Trainfan
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Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2

Bombing submarines.

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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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ChaliceGirl
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Some of the foreign-owned businesses have funny names, I spotted a "Pretty Mini Mart" on the way home. I would call a mini mart a lot of things, but "pretty?"

Hey, even native English speaking people misunderstand each other. I remember I was in my early teens, and someone told me they were doing a term paper on euthanasia, and I said, "How cool. I'd like to know more about how Asian kids live." It took me awhile to live that one down!

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Lothlorien
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quote:
Some of the foreign-owned businesses have funny names, I spotted a "Pretty Mini Mart" on the way home. I would call a mini mart a lot of things, but "pretty?"
Several suburbs around here have shops selling cheap plastic toys, stationery, low quality soft toy animals etc.

The name of these shops is Morning Glory.

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M.
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Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:

quote:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
When I was growing up (south of England, sixties), 'having a tinkle' was a universal sort of half-jokey euphemism that an elderly person might use to a young child. An by extension, the sort of thing you might use with friends as a jokey sort of expression.

M.

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Wesley J

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This thread has a link to a t-shirt shop on ebay that sells 'T SHIRTS' and 'HODDIES'. [Big Grin]

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

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Cara
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quote:
Originally posted by M.:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:

quote:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
When I was growing up (south of England, sixties), 'having a tinkle' was a universal sort of half-jokey euphemism that an elderly person might use to a young child. An by extension, the sort of thing you might use with friends as a jokey sort of expression.

M.

Absolutely, yes. And then there was "spending a penny."

Though these are tangents, as perfectly correct if idiomatic English!

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Pondering.

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Sparrow
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A trip to China a couple of years ago yielded a huge number of weird translations of public signage, such as:

In a hotel bedroom:

"Please do not worry if a fire is occurring. Our hotel have owned succour scattering facilites to sure you transmitted safely."

"Bustup, gambling, freak-out, wench and drink are strictly prohibited in the hotel."

At the entrance to a bar:

No drugs, guns or nuclear weapons allowed."

At a regional airport arrivals lounge:

"Wellcome delivers the personnel to halt."

On a China Railways coach travelling to Tibet, a list of the health dangers of the altitude:

(f) "Highly dangerous pregnant women."

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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Baptist Trainfan
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quote:
Originally posted by Cara:
Absolutely, yes. And then there was "spending a penny."

But, of course, that is what one did in those pre-inflationary days. No "Superloos" then!

N.B. I read a good story about the toilets at Yarmouth station on the Isle of Wight. Back in the 30s there was a train which travelled across the island from Ryde. It took about an hour and had no toilets.

On arrival, EVERYONE uncrossed their legs and used the "facilities". The stationmaster rubbed his hands in anticipation of collecting a bumper profit. But there was only 2d: 1d each in the ladies and gents, as every "customer" had held the door open for the person coming after them!

[ 13. September 2013, 18:27: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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quote:
Originally posted by Cara:
quote:
Originally posted by M.:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:

quote:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)
When I was growing up (south of England, sixties), 'having a tinkle' was a universal sort of half-jokey euphemism that an elderly person might use to a young child. An by extension, the sort of thing you might use with friends as a jokey sort of expression.

M.

Absolutely, yes. And then there was "spending a penny."

Though these are tangents, as perfectly correct if idiomatic English!

Here, it was often said in the past "see a man about a dog" (or horse). Also, "hang a rat" and "sit on the throne of thought".

?Perhaps this needs to be it's own thread?

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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

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The5thMary
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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2

Bombing submarines.
"Dropping the kids off at the pool"

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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Can I suggest that we now wash our hands and return to Amusing Mangles of the English Language?

Firenze
Heaven Host

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Anglo Catholic Relict
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quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Interesting. When I was a boy, I had a friend (100% white British) who talked about "having a tinkle" ... I don't recall a phrase for doing No.2, although I know people who talk about "going for a sit-down" (without "a nice cup of tea"!)

I cannot speak for any other cultures, but imo polite English people would never refer to such a thing. As noted above, those heading for the 'ladies' or 'gents' are assumed to be going to wash their hands.

As indeed they are, we hope.

[ 16. September 2013, 15:11: Message edited by: Anglo Catholic Relict ]

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jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Can I suggest that we now wash our hands and return to Amusing Mangles of the English Language?

Firenze
Heaven Host

A reaffirmation of Firenze's Official post.

jedijudy
Heaven Host


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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Moo

Ship's tough old bird
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Please don't make the hosts close this thread. It's an enjoyable topic.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
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I read an article recently about an exceptionally bright student who was "in the Honor's Program" at his school.

Who wants to bet that he isn't bright enough to catch the error? (If, that is, he doesn't have a teacher whose name happens to be Honor.)

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

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Leorning Cniht
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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

Who wants to bet that he isn't bright enough to catch the error? (If, that is, he doesn't have a teacher whose name happens to be Honor.)

He might have a teacher named Honor, but is unlikely to have a teacher who is referred to as "the Honor".
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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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Reminds me of the (possibly apocryphal) inscription to the memory of a late wife 'whose price was above Ruby's'.
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L'organist
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# 17338

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New typo from a friend

He shall his Lord with raptor see

[Killing me]

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
New typo from a friend

He shall his Lord with raptor see

[Killing me]

Maybe he'll be on eagle's wings.
[Razz]

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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf

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Kasra
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# 10631

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A similar one from CU days...

"If anyone has a bother in need, and does not take pity on him...."

(1Jn 3:17)


I always liked that - I have a younger bother of my own!

Kx

--------------------
Can you spare $13.10 to help find a cure for Leukemia, Lymphoma and Myeloma? http://pages.teamintraining.org/ne/kc12/cburberqb8#home

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chive

Ship's nude
# 208

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I work in France and where I work does try to have bilingual signs but the one that always makes me laugh is a security gate that says in French, 'Swipe your pass here' and in English, 'Swipe badger here.'

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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost

Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Peter Green
Apprentice
# 17839

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I remember hearing a husband in Vietnam said to his wife "I no want salad again" when he meant he doesn't want to argue or fight with her anymore.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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Welcome to the Ship, Peter Green!
If you would like, we have a thread in All Saints where you can introduce yourself!

I'm glad you've posted in Heaven. It's a great place to get your sea legs!

jedijudy
Heaven Host


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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
... a late wife 'whose price was above Ruby's'.

I read that lesson from Proverbs at my mum's funeral and afterwards my brother said that he'd had great difficulty keeping a straight face as there was a cousin of ours called Ruby in the congregation and he wanted to know what her price was ... [Snigger]

I'd like to think that Mum was chuckling in Heaven.

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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338

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Friend has just returned from China.

Visiting a ceramics factory, they were issued with overalls with a laminated pocket on the left of the bodice into which temporary visitor passes were placed.

They passed a sign which read Visitors must leave the breast exposed [Killing me]

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged
helseth
Apprentice
# 17851

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Language issue has always been there. More common in football players.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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Welcome to The a Ship, helseth.

There's an Intro thread in All Saints, but it's not obligatory.

Otherwise, the rules are few (see '10 Commandments' in the page banner), the company varied and the topics many.

Enjoy the voyage.

Firenze
Heaven Host

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688

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A German client emailed me this morning telling me that some documents that we asked for are going to be sent "short-termly". I'm sure this is a literal translation of one of those fantastic composite German words [Smile]

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Rent my holiday home in the South of France

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LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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quote:
la vie en rouge: A German client emailed me this morning telling me that some documents that we asked for are going to be sent "short-termly". I'm sure this is a literal translation of one of those fantastic composite German words [Smile]
In this case, the word could be kurzfristigerweise.

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668

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I have an instruction sheet from a Japanese company that's full of bizarre phrases for installing ball bearings (it's about thirty years old and things have changed since then). My favourite is "Shock to the balls is to be hated".

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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)

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