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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: TICTH (Special Edition)
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Dinghy Sailor
Ship's Jibsheet
# 8507
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Posted
8 months. 8 fucking months.
That's what it took from me leaving your mouldering pile of shite of a church, to anyone actually asking where I'd been. Let's see, what could I have done in 8 months?
Lost my faith
Joined a drug ring
Taken up a life as a hooker
You wouldn't have known a thing, would you? Tonight I got the first person to actually ask me how I was doing, leaving aside one or two who had some seriously heavy prompting. For fuck's sake, aren't you meant to be a community or something? Apparently "All are welcome". Bullshit to that.
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Preach Christ, because this old humanity has used up all hopes and expectations, but in Christ hope lives and remains.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 2821 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Dinghy Sailor
Ship's Jibsheet
# 8507
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Posted
... and in answer to your question, no I've not been okay, I've been pretty shit, actually, about as shit as I've ever been. Did you notice? Were you there for me, after I've spent God knows how many years trying to serve your shoddy excuse for a Christian community? Seems not. It's a good job I believe in grace, because you lot are going to need a whole fucking heap of it.
In the meantime, try reading the parable of the lost sheep on repeat, for maybe a decade. Then, try not to fail anyone else who has the misfortune to pass through your doors.
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Preach Christ, because this old humanity has used up all hopes and expectations, but in Christ hope lives and remains.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 2821 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
So been there. "Kelly, I have noticed you have been falling away in worship. Remember each time you are missing church, you are defying God's command to take part in the Eucharist. Don't be faithless in your worship."
"I'm sorry, the six or seven people I informed about my 2 month bronchial infection must not have passed on the info. Oh ,they did? And you still are shaking your head? Well, fuck you very much."
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Not sure if yesterday's tabloid headline "We'll have sex on our kid's graves" counts as yellow journalism .
I'm slightly gratified by the fact that the only humping philpot does from now won't be of the kind that produces kids.
TICTH -- The tragedy of the human condition.
If that was supposed to be a gay sex quip in the middle, then TICTH you.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
So been there. "Kelly, I have noticed you have been falling away in worship. Remember each time you are missing church, you are defying God's command to take part in the Eucharist. Don't be faithless in your worship."
"I'm sorry, the six or seven people I informed about my 2 month bronchial infection must not have passed on the info. Oh ,they did? And you still are shaking your head? Well, fuck you very much."
Frankly I would have liked somebody to get in touch to tick me off for missing church - it would have shown they had noticed (and given me an opportunity to request communion at home). The total utter silence was hard to take, as Dinghy Sailor says.
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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Margaret
Shipmate
# 283
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Posted
And while we're on the subject of churches, let me toss into the flames the limp apology for a vicar who watched my husband being targetted by the church sociopath for months while doing nothing more than mumbling that she was "under stress", and when we finally left the church showed no interest at all, didn't even answer my email explaining (politely) why I was going, wouldn't have cared if we'd joined the Scientologists or the Moonies. The bastard knows he's safe, short of embezzling the church funds or having a very public affair with a member of his dwindling congregation, because he's got the freehold and can just sit in his comfortable free house for the next twenty years picking up his stipend.
But one day, turdface, you're going to have to explain yourself to Someone who knows a bit more about you than the archdeacon...
Posts: 2456 | From: West Midlands UK | Registered: May 2001
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Margaret
Shipmate
# 283
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Posted
And while we're on the subject of churches, let me toss into the flames the limp apology for a vicar who watched my husband being targetted by the church sociopath for months while doing nothing more than mumbling that she was "under stress", and when we finally left the church showed no interest at all, didn't even answer my email explaining (politely) why I was going, wouldn't have cared if we'd joined the Scientologists or the Moonies. The bastard knows he's safe, short of embezzling the church funds or having a very public affair with a member of his dwindling congregation, because he's got the freehold and can just sit in his comfortable free house for the next twenty years picking up his stipend.
But one day, turdface, you're going to have to explain yourself to Someone who knows a bit more about you than the archdeacon...
Posts: 2456 | From: West Midlands UK | Registered: May 2001
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
If that was supposed to be a gay sex quip in the middle, then TICTH you. [/QUOTE]
It wasn't .
Although it did occur to me it could be taken that way the minute after I hit reply .
I was merely thinking about that guy's liberties being infringed in such a way that he knows he knows he's paying for the deed he has committed . Whatsmore he won't be doing the same thing again.
The whole point of the penal system AIUI.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by JoannaP:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
So been there. "Kelly, I have noticed you have been falling away in worship. Remember each time you are missing church, you are defying God's command to take part in the Eucharist. Don't be faithless in your worship."
"I'm sorry, the six or seven people I informed about my 2 month bronchial infection must not have passed on the info. Oh ,they did? And you still are shaking your head? Well, fuck you very much."
Frankly I would have liked somebody to get in touch to tick me off for missing church - it would have shown they had noticed (and given me an opportunity to request communion at home). The total utter silence was hard to take, as Dinghy Sailor says.
Nobody "got in touch." I got the silence , too, The speech I got was when I was shaking the Pastor's hand after service, having finally recovered enough to drag myself there. Still pale and sweating and shaking so hard I can remember having trouble with the handshake. And , as I said, I had let a variety of people in my peer group know how sick I was. (My sister confirmed that she had told a number of people including the Pastor, herself) They also knew what time I wasn't spending being sick I was working a six-day a week job, for minimum wage. Instead of doing those well-checks you are talking about, they decided I was missing the extra-church events and weekend clubbing and rock concerts because I didn't like the church anymore, and passed this version of events all over the church. Nobody asked me a thing. I was told what everyone had decided.
And how is telling someone they are "defying God" without asking a single question about their circumstances showing concern?
I don't think you would have liked that.
[And Dinghy Sailor--I trust you knew I was empathizing.]
[ 07. April 2013, 04:22: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
TICTH being assigned to a senior school that teaches Philosophy and Ethics in place of Religious Education when my major is Religious Education.
Take two lessons on critical thinking? No problem (seeing as how my undergraduate degree is in theology not philosophy.)
So those twelve detailed lesson plans I just handed in for a 60% assignment were a complete waste of time?
Excellent. I love wasting my time.
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Dinghy Sailor
Ship's Jibsheet
# 8507
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
[And Dinghy Sailor--I trust you knew I was empathizing.]
Yeah sure. Churches can be sucky sometimes. I trust you're better now?
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Preach Christ, because this old humanity has used up all hopes and expectations, but in Christ hope lives and remains.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 2821 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck.
Extreme stress ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
Well, on the upside - you can see theology as a branch of philosophy and ethics, and you will certainly have learnt critical thinking during your degree. Post-modernism is an position within epistemology so you may even get the chance to teach it.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
TICTH people who can't say a simple "I'm sorry." Admit it. You fucked up. I'm willing to let it be water under the bridge, but it would be a helluva lot easier if you would say those simple two words instead of looking hunted when you see me in the lunchroom.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Dear boss, I know we were incredibly busy at work yesterday but that doesn't mean you should attempt to bully me into giving up my lunch break. A twelve hour shift of constant business with no down time is hard enough even without giving up the one break I have. The one opportunity I have to eat something between 9am and 9pm.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
[not particularly hellish tangent]
DS/Kelly - I hear this a lot. I think there's a phenomenon that needs investigating.
My ex-lot haven't actively sought to find out what happened to us after we turned around and took the kids back home back in October after being told that kids' provision had been cancelled without notice. Not that bothered, but that's probably because I'm an anti-social bastard mesel'.
[/not particularly hellish tangent]
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
When I think of all the wonderful threads that could have been started from the material here, instead of being left as little lost fragments of conversation within TICTH, I tear up just a little.
orfeo
Hellhost
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
{Gives orfeo a nicely-toasted handkerchief for his tears...and a supply of mosaic-making materials for bringing the little lost fragments together.}
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
Look! Look! Orfeo has feelings! Poke him! Poke him right in the feely parts!
In other news, I wonder how difficult it would be to load paintballs with capsaicin. Use a low-velocity launcher to ensure no physical harm, but I dares ya to lick that off yer fur ye wee yard-shitting bastard.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Finally, my secret's out. I am in fact a St Bernard that can type.
You don't know what a relief it is to come clean after all these years.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Look! Look! Orfeo has feelings! Poke him! Poke him right in the feely parts!
In other news, I wonder how difficult it would be to load paintballs with capsaicin. Use a low-velocity launcher to ensure no physical harm, but I dares ya to lick that off yer fur ye wee yard-shitting bastard.
How kind, an arthritis treatment. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Finally, my secret's out. I am in fact a St Bernard that can type.
You don't know what a relief it is to come clean after all these years.
Thank God, I was afraid you were gay.
( ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) )
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Hey! Canines have sexuality TOO, y'know.
TICTH my local politicians for passing a scheme to help 'financially disadvantaged' people to pay their traffic and parking fines.
Hey, I've got a scheme for that, too. It's called not fucking incurring traffic and parking fines in the first place. Haven't paid a cent in two decades!
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442
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Posted
TICTH coughing so much my back hurts.
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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese
Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
TICTH my current lady who has just visited to demand rent and also state that I have to have the house inspected by her estate agents and have it in tenantable condition despite the fact she is getting decorators and builders in as soon as I leave ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Naturally she came round when the housing office is shut so I could not phone them to check my rights until tomorrow
She does have my deposit which is more than my monthly rent - I doubt I'll get any of that back
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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Try directgov - also there is a mediation service re deposits, so if she withholds you may be able to appeal the decision.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
Nanny Ogg , you really must get yourself to a tenants' advice service or a community legal centre. I don't know what the law is in your part of the world, and it would take time which I don't have to look it up. I do know that the laws in the various jurisdictions here have very substantial protection for tenants, and I'd be very surprised if there aren't similar protections for you. These include:
* A maximum amount of bond which can be taken - here it's 4 weeks for unfurnished premises.
* The bond is held by a government agency and is the tenant's money until the landlord proves an entitlement to it before a tenancy tribunal or local court.
* A landlord cannot simply throw a tenant out, but must prove an entitlement to possession in a court or tribunal.
In the case as you describe it, with renovations to take place once you leave, it would be very strange if a landlord were able to claim any part of the bond for cleaning or minor repairs. Get advice urgently, so you're in better control of what happens.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
TICTH The "wonderful" vicar who took over at a parish where I gave 3 1/2 YEARS of virtually unpaid time/support to reinstate their choir & decent music after a previous organist walked out mid-service.
Thanks for using the magazine to announce that 3 out of 4 evening services wouldn't require choir and that a "good new children's choir" would cover Christmas carols: fantastic for the morale of the singers and put me in my place publicly.
Thanks, too, for staying in the church office throughout my last evensong, only appearing to hand over a bunch of flowers just before the blessing and then leaving even before I finished my 20 words of thanks.
Thanks for being so sensitive that you decided not to mention the very sudden death of my partner and my children's parent ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) . And it was especially caring to ensure that you dropped a note through my letterbox ON THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL about changing all the hymn lists for the next 2 months - PLUS a typed note about how happy you were sure I'd be that the cathedral had decided to make you a canon because of your "pastoral strengths". ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
What a woman - what a pastor!
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
TICTH today's crop of spamming morons who want me to believe the United Nations, of all things, has decided to compensate me with 5 million dollars for when I've been scammed.
I'd at least like my criminals to have some intelligence. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
TICTH today's crop of spamming morons who want me to believe the United Nations, of all things, has decided to compensate me with 5 million dollars for when I've been scammed.
I'd at least like my criminals to have some intelligence.
Further to this, TICTH all those who, despite all the warnings not to do so and the sheer ludicrousness of what's in the e-mails, still believe them and open them, thereby not only essentially robbing themselves of ££££ or $$$$, but also encouraging people to keep doing this.
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Meg the Red
Shipmate
# 11838
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Posted
Look Dude, I know that in your own strange little mind you're expressing sympathy for those of us whose jobs might disappear, but stopping by my desk to say "I really like you - I hope you're still here in two weeks!" is Not At All Fucking Helpful.
Please be so kind as to STFU, then drop on your head and bounce twice.
Oh and TITCH our useless provincial government, whose hasty dumbass knee-jerk funding decisions have thrown every educational institution in the province into crisis.
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Chocoholic Canuckistani Cyclopath
Posts: 1126 | From: Rat Creek | Registered: Sep 2006
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
TICTH the way that the autism scare over the MMR has affected NHS policy in a way that buggers up vaccinating children who had an adverse reaction to the first MMR.
Apparently, NHS doctors aren't supposed to blood test for immunity, but my kind and helpful GP said we were a special case and it would put our minds at rest and solve everything if the first MMR had, in fact, done the trick. Results are back and lo! I have a child with no immunity to measles, and an NHS suggestion we go private for a single vaccine. To a clinic which is 3 hours away. It has taken us 4 NHS appointments, with 5 NHS doctors / health visitors, over the past 6 months to get to this point.
![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif)
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
TICTH people who row in front of you in your home and then get huffy with you for telling them to stop or sort it out elsewhere
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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275
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Posted
The hose pipe was invented for this situation.
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If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?
Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
To follow up a previous instalment, THIS time the e-mail even said it came from Ban Ki-Moon. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kyzyl
Ship's dog
# 374
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Posted
TICTH cancer in Golden Retrievers. My buddy of 11 years died yesterday after a huge mass on his spleen burst. This sort of thing on a spleen in a Goldie = hemgiosacrcoma and is fatal even with surgery. So I let him go. Fuck.
(Not sure if this goes here or Fuck Cancer but I don't really care.)
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I need a quote.
Posts: 668 | From: Wapasha's Prairie | Registered: Jun 2001
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
(((((Kyzyl))))) ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Kyzyl
Ship's dog
# 374
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Posted
Whoever, whatever, caused the two explosions at the Boston Marathon about 30 minutes ago. News just coming in. Suspicious, possible it could be "natural", but my gut says no.
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I need a quote.
Posts: 668 | From: Wapasha's Prairie | Registered: Jun 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
It is not looking good.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Live BBC coverage here, they are now reporting two bombs detonated - probably inside the Fairmont Hotel.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
TICTH bastards who can plan and carry out acts like this.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
TICTH the bastards who use events like this for their own purposes.
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
Doctors who don't take people seriously. Who assume that a person explaining their own symptoms are just miserable or moaning or wrong.
Who can't be arsed to look at a person's notes and check newly prescribed meds for contraindications.
I know you're busy. But just because she's old and sad doesn't make her stupid. But now she is horribly.fucking.ill.
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
TICTH the United States Senate.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
TICTH looking for something I know is in the house, but can't find in any of the usual places. And spending longer looking for it than I will using it.
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
TICTH looking for something I know is in the house, but can't find in any of the usual places. And spending longer looking for it than I will using it.
TIC myself TH. I mean, seriously. Plain bloody sight. Fuck it.
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
TICTH anybody who can say: we have over 50,000 lbs of ammonia in 2 tanks on site but there is absolutely no risk of fire or explosion. The worst thing that can possibly happen is a leak, which would be fixed in 10 minutes, and which would cause no lasting injury.
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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