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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: So your kid brings their boy/girlfriend for Xmas, do they share a bed?
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
This is an interesting question. My experience locally is that probably most of the families would presume that children who have moved out of home and come for the holidays would share a bedroom with the significant other they brought to their parents' home for Christmas. Is this a significant issue where you live? Would you presume to tell your adult children they could or could not? And if you would or wouldn't, do you have adult children at present?
I would have said 'don't think so' when our kids were still at home, but when they grew up, circumstances, ideas and opinions sharply changed. I'm more worried that they will not be hurt emotionally by their relationships than whether they are sharing a bed.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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the giant cheeseburger
Shipmate
# 10942
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Posted
Don't worry, they're equally disgusted by the thought of you and your partner sharing a bed.
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If I give a homeopathy advocate a really huge punch in the face, can the injury be cured by giving them another really small punch in the face?
Posts: 4834 | From: Adelaide, South Australia. | Registered: Jan 2006
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
I'd ask them if they want a double or not. (Unless they are under the age of consent.)
[ 23. December 2013, 23:04: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
I'd ask them if they want a double or not. (Unless they are under the age of consent.)
Yeah, vague questions is always how we handled it at my parent's house.
My now father-in-law was clear when I came on a family vacation as boyfriend that I was getting my own room, and we were fine with it. Not only was it just the respectful response, but you really do sleep much better if you don't have to share a bed with someone.
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 3259 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I think it's going to depend on how you raised them. No doubt you communicated your own beliefs and standards when they were young. Why change now? Consistency is worth something, particularly if you (general you!) are following the same standards yourself.
Me, I would have been totally mortified if my mother had done anything but automatically give us separate rooms. It's like, Mom, just don't go there. Not mentally or any other way. (If I want to misbehave, I'm perfectly capable of sneaking out my bedroom door in the middle of the night.)
[ 23. December 2013, 23:15: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mudfrog
Shipmate
# 8116
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Posted
No. When my son's girlfriend has stayed it's always been in another bedroom. What they do outside our house - ie in her student flat, I can only assume.
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"The point of having an open mind, like having an open mouth, is to close it on something solid."
G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 8237 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I think it's going to depend on how you raised them. No doubt you communicated your own beliefs and standards when they were young. Why change now? Consistency is worth something, particularly if you (general you!) are following the same standards yourself.
Me, I would have been totally mortified if my mother had done anything but automatically give us separate rooms. It's like, Mom, just don't go there. Not mentally or any other way. (If I want to misbehave, I'm perfectly capable of sneaking out my bedroom door in the middle of the night.)
Miss Manners (Judith Martin) said to do what the Victorians did: assign separate rooms, then ignore the nocturnal traffic.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
The idea that sex only happens within shared bedrooms at night time is laughable, so I don't see the point in insisting on separate rooms.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
Do they share a home? If they usually share a bedroom in their home, it would seem odd to separate them in your house, even if you would prefer that they marry before cohabiting.
On the other hand, if they have separate homes, they get separate rooms, even if one of the beds gets no more than a pro forma rumpling.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Like I said, we would have expected separate rooms when they were young, and had pretty firm ideas about it. But everything has changed in the world, it seems. So many of our ideas are not what they were. And when you actually have adult children, it is all changed. For us, it was resolved 4 or 5 years ago, and isn't - can't be - an issue.
It is a different issue if the kids are still at home and haven't left, but in a real estate market where a bachelor apartment (one room, all in, costs more than $1200 per month here), if they aren't working right out of highschool at something pretty lucrative (dream on) and are doing post-secondary education, they live with their parents.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
When my children come into my home I expect and they expect to observe my standards of behaviour in our house, so they would get separate rooms. What they choose to do away from home isn't my business. I don't see why I should have to go along with behaviours that make me uncomfortable and I'm sure my kids would be surprised and disconcerted if I did.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Barefoot Friar
Ship's Shoeless Brother
# 13100
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Posted
This came up in both directions when Mrs Friar and I were dating/engaged. In both situations, I slept separately -- it was a given. When at Mrs. Friar's parents' home, I either slept in one of her brothers' beds, or else on the couch. Whenever I visit my parents for an overnight, I sleep on the cot in the living room -- not nearly as bad as it sounds. The one time we both visited for an overnight, she slept in my sisters' room and I slept in the living room.
Now we're married, so we sleep together, and it's not an issue.
I don't know what I would do about my own kids. Probably what Miss Manners suggests.
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Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -- Desmond Tutu
Posts: 1621 | From: Warrior Mountains | Registered: Oct 2007
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
The idea that sex only happens within shared bedrooms at night time is laughable, so I don't see the point in insisting on separate rooms.
Oh, I wouldn't be assigning my adult child and his or her non-cohabiting boy/girlfriend separate bedrooms in some kind of attempt to prevent them from having sex.
But I'm also not going to assume that they are having sex. If they are a cohabiting couple, they get assigned a shared room. If they live separately (and assuming that I have adequate space) they get assigned separate rooms. What they do with those rooms and when is up to them.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
This thread reminds me of my mother. Faced with taking in my elder brother and his wife during some financial disaster, she had a choice of moving my sister into my room, which had twin beds, & Bro & Wife into my sister's room, which had a double bed.
But no; she moved Bro & Wife into the twin-bed room, and Sis & I shared a double bed for nearly a year.
She was a very strange woman.
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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
I recall a similar thread this time last year, but the questions remain:
How old are the children?
What are their usual domestic arrangements?
And Barefoot Friar - can we assume that the brother was not in that bed?
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Haydee
Shipmate
# 14734
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Posted
A friend used to go to his (male) SO's family every Christmas - this family not having been officially told that their son was gay.
My friend and SO assumed they were put in the same room because family thought they were 'just friends'. They would occasionally say lovely things such as 'friend is part of the family because he visits so often'.
It turned out when friend's SO told his parents that the family had guessed the situation long ago...
Posts: 433 | Registered: Apr 2009
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
Do they share a home? If they usually share a bedroom in their home, it would seem odd to separate them in your house, even if you would prefer that they marry before cohabiting.
On the other hand, if they have separate homes, they get separate rooms, even if one of the beds gets no more than a pro forma rumpling.
This makes a lot of sense.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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ecumaniac
Ship's whipping girl
# 376
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Posted
I just can't ever imagine living in a house with that many extra guest rooms!
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it's a secret club for people with a knitting addiction, hiding under the cloak of BDSM - Catrine
Posts: 2901 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Jun 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
True. We have precisely zero spare rooms.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Barefoot Friar:
When at Mrs. Friar's parents' home, I either slept in one of her brothers' beds, or else on the couch....
"No, I'm sorry, you're not sleeping with my daughter under my roof. With her brother, on the other hand...." ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Miss Manners has a lot of common sense.
Of course, I was an angel when we were engaged and spent the night at my parents' house. There was never any nocturnal traffic.*
______
*As far as I can recall it was early morning traffic.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Phantom Flan Flinger
Shipmate
# 8891
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Posted
Before Flanderella and I were married, when I visited her house the rule was as we weren’t married, we had separate rooms. Not an issue. (As noted above, we are both capable of getting up and moving during the night…..).
Father In Law passed away some years ago, Mother In Law has happily found another chap, they are not married.
Apparently the same rules don’t apply. Ho hum….
Posts: 1020 | From: Leicester, England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153
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Posted
I don't think of 'sharing a bed' as implying 'having sex'. I didn't have sex before my marriage, but I often shared a bed with my girlfriend.
I'd prefer my children (when they grow up) to wait until marriage, and will certainly tell them why their mother and I did, and why we think that was the best choice, but for them it'll their choice. As it should be - I don't see enforced chastity as being much of a virtue even if I were in a position to enforce it (which of course I won't be). Either they end up sharing my values, in which case they would be having sex whatever sleeping arrangements they prefer, or they will disagree, in which case I think I'd rather teach them about respect and responsibility than about sneaking around in the night.
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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"
Richard Dawkins
Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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Eigon
Shipmate
# 4917
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Posted
The first time I went to visit my Young Man, who then still lived in his parents' house, I was given the spare room. At this point in my life, I was a widow after having been married for 15 years.
Some time after midnight on the first evening, I started to creep across to his room. And then I started giggling (quietly). "Hang on a minute," I thought. "I'm 45 years old - why am I acting like a teenager?"
The next time I went to visit, we shared a bed, and now he has his own place, we can do what we like.
My sister, on the other hand, had a rather traumatic introduction to the art of sleeping with her boyfriend. It was Christmas week, and they had gone out for a drink with friends together - and she didn't come back to the family home until sometime the following afternoon. We were starting to get a bit worried about her.
She had gone back to her boyfriend's flat after the party, and they had both collapsed onto the bed. Nothing untoward had happened - she was just really worried about facing Mum the next day.
Mum, of course, was just relieved she was okay.
If I was in the position of giving advice to the next generation now, I think I'd just quote my gran. Far from being outraged when she found out that my sister had started sleeping with her boyfriend, her only words were: "Well, I hope she's taking precautions!"
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Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.
Posts: 3710 | From: Hay-on-Wye, town of books | Registered: Aug 2003
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Yes they do - and did last night, whyever not?
When my boys turned 18 we bought double beds for both of them and it was entirely up to them what they did in them.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
I don't think of 'sharing a bed' as implying 'having sex'. I didn't have sex before my marriage, but I often shared a bed with my girlfriend.
Then you have more self control than we had.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Eliab
Shipmate
# 9153
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
I don't think of 'sharing a bed' as implying 'having sex'. I didn't have sex before my marriage, but I often shared a bed with my girlfriend.
Then you have more self control than we had.
It takes very little self control to refrain from doing something which you don't want to do.
I would think that these days, the only way someone in mainstream culture is likely to be a virgin on their wedding day is by not actually wanting to have sex before. There's no lack of opportunity for it, even in the absence of double beds. Lying down under the same duvet doesn't set off some hitherto unknown storm of hormones - it's the same person, and the same feelings of attraction, that you were with in the car, in the restaurant, on the sofa, or wherever. If you're used to being with someone you love, but have decided not to have sex with just yet, it really isn't that big a deal to go to sleep in the same space. Or so it seemed to me, anyway.
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"Perhaps there is poetic beauty in the abstract ideas of justice or fairness, but I doubt if many lawyers are moved by it"
Richard Dawkins
Posts: 4619 | From: Hampton, Middlesex, UK | Registered: Mar 2005
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Barefoot Friar
Ship's Shoeless Brother
# 13100
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
And Barefoot Friar - can we assume that the brother was not in that bed?
Yes. In this case, the brother in question has more than one bed in his room.
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Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -- Desmond Tutu
Posts: 1621 | From: Warrior Mountains | Registered: Oct 2007
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
Zappa's story reminds me of the time, as a late teenager, when I was working on a Brethren-run kids' camp. The spartan camp had a two-man tent pitched a short distance away in the woods for leaders to have some sleep, peace and quiet on their 24-hour day off. It so happened that my day off fell the same day as a girls' leader. There was much head-scratching at the leaders' meeting until somebody came up with the Biblical proverb "it is better for two to lie together than to catch cold". We were both allowed to use the tent safe in the knowledge that this was covered by a Bible verse. We did not however get up to anything.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
The first time my student daughter brought a boy friend home for the weekend he'd got her to ask me if it was okay if they shared a bed. If I said no, then they wouldn't. I figured if they spelt together elsewhere why not here.
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
If you're used to being with someone you love, but have decided not to have sex with just yet, it really isn't that big a deal to go to sleep in the same space. Or so it seemed to me, anyway.
Me too. My wife and I shared beds many times before marriage without having sex.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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molopata
The Ship's jack
# 9933
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Posted
And yet, sometimes the parental standards are an anchor for teenagers to hang on to when their environment dictates different behaviour. A friend of ours has a row with her teenage daughter who wanted to share her bedroom with her visiting boyfriend. He wanted to too. It emerged later that although the daughter was outwardly arguing with her mother, she was inwardly hoping that her mother would enforce her authority and usual standards and save her from a situation she was not happy about, but did not want to own up to.
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... The Respectable
Posts: 1718 | From: the abode of my w@ndering mind | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
This. That's why i care about consistency. So my kid can predict me and use it, if necessary, to get out of a stjcky spot. Assertiveness training can come afterward.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Enoch
Shipmate
# 14322
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
Zappa's story reminds me of the time, as a late teenager, when I was working on a Brethren-run kids' camp. The spartan camp had a two-man tent pitched a short distance away in the woods for leaders to have some sleep, peace and quiet on their 24-hour day off. It so happened that my day off fell the same day as a girls' leader. There was much head-scratching at the leaders' meeting until somebody came up with the Biblical proverb "it is better for two to lie together than to catch cold". We were both allowed to use the tent safe in the knowledge that this was covered by a Bible verse. We did not however get up to anything.
Perhaps they came from a tradition of Bundling (sorry, Ship mechanical rules won't let me post a link; something to do with the format of the web address). I've heard it persisted almost into living memory in the Northern Isles. Were you both sewn into sacks?
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Brexit wrexit - Sir Graham Watson
Posts: 7610 | From: Bristol UK(was European Green Capital 2015, now Ljubljana) | Registered: Nov 2008
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
I remember as if yesterday when in 1979 I went to stay with my girlfriend at her mother's house. I was gobsmacked to be put up in the same room as my beloved. Sadly, as a GLE I spent the night terrified of "the appearance of sin", clutching my Timothy La Haye tomes to my chest, and the relationship was never consummated ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
Apparently you missed the part in La Haye's book where he writes, "good sex is more than two people having intercourse..." Had you simply invited a third to join you and your gf you'd have been in ...um... good hands.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
Perhaps they came from a tradition of Bundling (sorry, Ship mechanical rules won't let me post a link; something to do with the format of the web address). I've heard it persisted almost into living memory in the Northern Isles. Were you both sewn into sacks?
The word "bundle" was certainly in use in Cambridge in the late 60's. Whether "bundling" still happened then, all I know was that I wasn't caught out that way.
In the Fens, bundling was expected to lead to intercourse, pregnancy and a daughter off a family's hands. That was the goal.
[code]
[ 27. December 2013, 07:28: Message edited by: Eutychus ]
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
It's very useful to have a bed settee in the lounge. Then there is the opportunity for a separate bed if wanted / needed. I'm certainly not getting up in the middle of the night to inspect whether my house guests' sleeping arrangements change during the small hours!
And being married / living together isn't as clear cut as you'd think. Due to snoring, illness or small babies, even married relatives often make use of the bed settee for one of them to get a much-needed decent night's sleep...
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
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Posted
If the kids are legal adults and already live together, I don't know what the point is for parents to insist on separate sleeping arrangements: They already live together; they sleep together; get over it; stop grasping for a WIN in your own personal morality column here.
If the relationship is more ambiguous, I'd opt for the separate beds but not make a "thing" out of it.
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Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
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Posted
Sorry for double-posting, but I'd add that if roles are reversed and one is in a committed relationship that one's parents/other relations don't approve of, and are pointedly assigned separate bedrooms during family get-togethers, and if lodging elsewhere aren't a viable option, biting one's tongue and being gracious about the sleeping arrangements is probably the best option.
[ 27. December 2013, 17:42: Message edited by: LutheranChik ]
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Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
If you're used to being with someone you love, but have decided not to have sex with just yet, it really isn't that big a deal to go to sleep in the same space. Or so it seemed to me, anyway.
Me too. My wife and I shared beds many times before marriage without having sex.
So did we.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
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Posted
Sidebar story: DP and I know someone who is getting married again after being widowed for several years. She is marrying another alum of the same high school, a widower, who after a rather colorful life wound up becoming a Bible-thumping Baptist minister -- took a mail-order course, hung out his shingle and then started his own online "Bible college." (It is a long story.) Anyway, these are two retirees; they're not young kids; they both have their own households and families.
The husband-to-be recently moved into the wife-to-be's condominium in order to, I think, let one of his children move into his house; this is in one of those generic suburban condo developments with a somewhat transient population that includes many retirees and younger career people.
The two had some sort of engagement open house that involved friends, family and some of the neighbors. During this event the fiance' made a great show of loudly announcing to everyone present that, "We're living together for now, but we don't sleep in the same bed."
The fiancee's sister, who is also our friend, was absolutely mortified.
I really do not understand the sort of mentality that would compel someone to make this sort of public pronouncement. I really don't. What the
hell.
[ 27. December 2013, 19:56: Message edited by: LutheranChik ]
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Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
It's not that mortifying. Rather tasteless, but considering that people often joke about who they are or are not going to bed with, it's not a big deal. In the UK someone in the group would've laughed and made a dirty joke, probably in the man's direction, but the woman's comment would've been taken as a sign of her eccentricity more than anything else, especially since she's presumably heading into old age. It sounds like something out of a sitcom.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
If he's presenting himself as a colorful convert turned Bible-thumper, he is very likely concerned that moving in with a woman he's not married to (yet) will do his rep some harm. That said, the idiot could have just gone down to the local courthouse with his intended and dealt with the issue properly rather than making everybody want to slide through the floor. TMI.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
If you're used to being with someone you love, but have decided not to have sex with just yet, it really isn't that big a deal to go to sleep in the same space. Or so it seemed to me, anyway.
Me too. My wife and I shared beds many times before marriage without having sex.
So did we.
And us.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Trisagion
Shipmate
# 5235
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LutheranChik:
I really do not understand the sort of mentality that would compel someone to make this sort of public pronouncement. I really don't. What the
hell.
Oh, I do. It's called prudery.
I think if I'd heard the announcement, I'd have suggested that sleeping in the same bed wasn't the issue.
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ceterum autem censeo tabula delenda esse
Posts: 3923 | Registered: Nov 2003
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
If you're used to being with someone you love, but have decided not to have sex with just yet, it really isn't that big a deal to go to sleep in the same space. Or so it seemed to me, anyway.
Me too. My wife and I shared beds many times before marriage without having sex.
So did we.
And us.
To add - my mother was not happy about this, and said that she'd prefer us to having sex, but pretending we weren't, rather than giving the impression that we were, whilst actually not.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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stonespring
Shipmate
# 15530
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Posted
I haven't read all of this thread, but I think it is worth adding that when my father introduced my mother as his fiancee to his mother, my grandmother insisted that they sleep together in the same bed at her house. She also insisted that they sleep in her bed, and that she sleep in bed with them. The intention was not to have her chaperone them. My grandmother always insisted on sleeping in bed with her children, and my mother was becoming one of her children. My nieces slept with my aunt and uncle in bed (although not every night) well into adulthood.
Posts: 1537 | Registered: Mar 2010
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