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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Honest to God Official Unwritten Ship of Fools Rules
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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In Styx, there was a query about the Unwritten Ship Rules. It got me to thinking about the unofficial rules which are current, or more importantly, Should Be Current.

You know them all of course,

If you call someone to Hell, send them a pm.

Don't make list threads.

When you read a post in Hell, imagine saying 'Mwa Ha Ha' under your breath at the outset.

Before posting in Ecclesiantics, make the sign of the cross and wear a clove of garlic.

Any I have missed?

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772

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Thanks for posting. I thought the clove of garlic was to be worn when posting to the Cooking thread in Heaven. My mistake.
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Only to keep Firenze away. [Biased]

[ 11. January 2014, 06:43: Message edited by: Patdys ]

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Only to keep Firenze away. [Biased]

You've got that wrong: garlic acts as an attractant. Rather like the sound of popping corks. To repel me you have to sleep with a Kentucky Fried Boneless Dip under your pillow.

[ 11. January 2014, 07:13: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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You forgot to add:

Never, ever, under any circumstance diss comet.

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
You forgot to add:

Never, ever, under any circumstance diss comet.

I was just about to say comet... just comet, really...

--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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C6 protects posters, not hosts and admins.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Only to keep Firenze away. [Biased]

You've got that wrong: garlic acts as an attractant. Rather like the sound of popping corks. To repel me you have to sleep with a Kentucky Fried Boneless Dip under your pillow.
Kentucky Fried Boneless Drip, eh? Is that referring to EVERYONE in the South or just people in Kentucky? [Big Grin]

--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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Ooops, read it wrong. Dip, not drip. Still refers to far too many people in the Southern part of the United States. [Devil]

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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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Bodily function jokes are not funny. Neither are gross-out jokes. Making these is what gets threads closed.

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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A.Pilgrim
Shipmate
# 15044

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All posts must be in the English language.

I think that this should be a written rule, and in the past I tried to persuade H&As to do this, but did so around the time that Martin PC Not got planked for posting in Morse Code and tempers were rather frayed.

Angus

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Originally posted by A.Pilgrim:
All posts must be in the English language.

Addendum: if it's commonly used in English, especially if more people recognize it in the original language than when translated, it counts as English.

The only exception for this is Welsh. I wish I knew Welsh, so by using it just enough that I can figure out what you mean by context, you're letting me delude myself into thinking I know it. Feeding my own personal delusions is always appreciated.

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Qoheleth.

Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265

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Don't post when drunk. [Eek!]

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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.

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Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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"Party" threads are highly frowned upon in this establishment. Probably forbidden.

--------------------
They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer

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basso

Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228

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There are no unwritten rules on the Ship, but heaven help you if you break one of 'em.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Hedgehog

Ship's Shortstop
# 14125

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quote:
Originally posted by Qoheleth.:
Don't post when drunk. [Eek!]

My posting frequency just went down....

--------------------
"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by A.Pilgrim:
All posts must be in the English language.


Or to be more accurate, an English language. American, Australian, British, Canadian, Irish, Indian, Scottish and Welsh English are all slightly different, but we have hosts to cater for these.

Don't push your luck though.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
You forgot to add:

Never, ever, under any circumstance diss comet.

oh no! please, please do! [Big Grin]

I like snacks.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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Beware of H&A Day.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Do not attempt to sell snacks on a Hell thread, however dreary it may have become, nor however hungry the peanut gallery.

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110

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1. Try to learn from the dumbasses who have survived. (With thanks to comet. Again)

2. Hellhosting is, probably, the best possible training for senior management hereabouts.

--------------------
Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?

Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Barnabas62:
2. Hellhosting is, probably, the best possible training for senior management hereabouts.

[Eek!]

[Waterworks]

*runs for the door screaming incoherently*

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Evangeline
Shipmate
# 7002

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quote:
Originally posted by A.Pilgrim:
All posts must be in the English language.

I think that this should be a written rule, and in the past I tried to persuade H&As to do this, but did so around the time that Martin PC Not got planked for posting in Morse Code and tempers were rather frayed.

Angus

Except Australian English is banned!
Posts: 2871 | From: "A capsule of modernity afloat in a wild sea" | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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your definition of "banned" and mine are very different.

Another ship unofficial rule: no matter how long you try to avoid it, eventually, you too will need to learn the basics of latin, greek, liturgical colors, and cricket.

it's just a matter of time.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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You forgot steam train gauges and stations on the London Underground.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
You forgot steam train gauges and stations on the London Underground.

[Biased]

One can become a master even while residing in North Carolina.

--------------------
They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
You forgot steam train gauges ...

Both for real-life trains and scale models, including the bizarre ways in which the same model gauge can be used to represent replicas in different scales!

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Yay! [Smile]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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That clanking sound was me changing the points to redirect this thread back to the original topic.

Firenze
Heaven Host

Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
roybart
Shipmate
# 17357

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Never use a complete phrase when Some Obscure Acronym (aka SOA) can save a few seconds of typing time.

This is most crucial when discussing arcane matters having to do with the CofE.

--------------------
"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton

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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.

It's better than penile substitutionary atonement.

--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.

Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.

It's better than penile substitutionary atonement.
What's so scary about big pickup trucks?

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.

It's better than penile substitutionary atonement.
I knew that 'joke' was coming. I just didn't know who from.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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Pun not intended?

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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Their is a difference between both "to" and too" and "your" and "you're." Mix them up often to acclimatise the grammar Nazis to the real world.

--------------------
It is better to be Kind than right.

Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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Don't talk about Aberystwyth. Just don't.

--------------------
Hail Gallaxhar

Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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Or Leamington Spa ...
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Pun not intended?

Which one? There are so many to choose from.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Don't talk about Aberystwyth. Just don't.

And neverevereverever say that it is Welch.
[Mad]

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504

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You might have to allow one shipmate to talk about Aberwristwatch-on-sea as she lives there.(Not me)

--------------------
"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)

Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
You forgot steam train gauges and stations on the London Underground.

Hey! I won Mornington Crescent just a few years ago!

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Their is a difference between both "to" and too" and "your" and "you're." Mix them up often to acclimatise the grammar Nazis to the real world.

Use Australian spelling as it is God's own country.

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69

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quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Don't talk about Aberystwyth. Just don't.

And neverevereverever say that it is Welch.
[Mad]

Oh, I remember that... [Roll Eyes] And as Welsh is 'iaith y nefoedd' - the language of heaven - it belongs on this board as no other! [Razz]

--------------------
"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor

At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken

Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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Never confuse the adjectives Scotch, Scottish and Scots. Just don't.

--------------------
Last ever sig ...

blog

Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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And please differentiate between a Kentish man and man of Kent. And then explain the difference to me. [Biased]

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Never confuse the adjectives Scotch, Scottish and Scots. Just don't.

I don't - I am about half Scots-Irish and most of the rest English by way of Germany and the Netherlands: I was born in LA -- I get along with everybody!

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Their is a difference between both "to" and too" and "your" and "you're." Mix them up often to acclimatise the grammar Nazis to the real world.

Don't forget 'less' and 'fewer': the foreman on a gig was corrected by me after an extemporaneous safety speech and I got sent home early later the same week! Surly rat bastard - no friend of mine anymore....

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Never confuse the adjectives Scotch, Scottish and Scots. Just don't.

I don't - I am about half Scots-Irish and most of the rest English by way of Germany and the Netherlands: I was born in LA -- I get along with everybody!
Except "surly rat bastards". [Biased]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sherwood
Shipmate
# 15702

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quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
And please differentiate between a Kentish man and man of Kent. And then explain the difference to me. [Biased]

A Man or Maid of Kent is a person born in East Kent. A Kentish Man or Maid is a person born in West Kent. Take it from a Man of Kent [Smile]
Posts: 62 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged



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