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Source: (consider it) Thread: I find that odd
balaam

Making an ass of myself
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When I was visiting the USA I found it odd that fellow diners would remove their jackets before eating but leave their hats on.

I'll admit that it was only a small minority that did this, but I have seen it in Arizona (Stetson) and Massachusetts (baseball cap).

I did not think it was wrong, just odd.

I'm sure that the way British people do things must seem odd to people of other cultures, (or even the correct way we do things in Yorkshire may seem odd to the rest of the UK.)

So what behaviours from other cultures do you find odd.

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comet

Snowball in Hell
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I'm used to it now, but when I first visited people Outside I was shocked to see people wearing shoes inside houses. Seemed super rude to me.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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The eating in hats instance I've seen was when I worked in the Civil Service. There was a club of mainly female retirees who would come in occasionally to have lunch in the office canteen and reminisce about the old days among the Manila folders. The would doff their coats but retain hats and maybe the knotted silk square round the neck.

You would need to survey all hat-wearing classes - old ladies, cowboys, truck drivers or whatever - to ascertain whether the crucial factors were nationality, age, gender or something else.

[ 13. January 2014, 20:10: Message edited by: Firenze ]

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Zacchaeus
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# 14454

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Ladies would often leave their hats on – it was an issue to do with hair, having worn a hat then taking them off left a messy head of hair..
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cliffdweller
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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:

You would need to survey all hat-wearing classes - old ladies, cowboys, truck drivers or whatever - to ascertain whether the crucial factors were nationality, age, gender or something else.

Age. It's a generational thing. In the 1960s, in the Camelot days when our President had that fabulous head of Kennedy hair, hats (for men) went out of fashion. We had a whole generation of boys that grew up without them.

This first came up in church about 20 years ago when the youngsters started wearing baseball caps for more than just sporting events. Because their parents grew up not wearing hats, they were never exposed to the "rules" about when you
shouldn't wear a hat. The older folks were aghast when all these teens started wearing baseball caps to church-- but their parents were none the wiser. My response: *shrug*

The shoes thing is funny-- my grandmother was always the opposite-- she couldn't stand the idea of anyone walking around on her nice clean floors in their bare feet! *shudder*

But now that we are a nation of so many cultures, I find most everyone will just ask "shoes on or off?" when entering your home. The hat thing, though-- still a mystery to most of us, at least in California.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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I see old friends who've been living in the US for some years now offer to take their shoes off when they come to visit. We would none of us thought of doing that back in Ireland - what, after all, are doormats for?
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Stercus Tauri
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I've heard various useful comebacks to some of these habits, and they may even have historical roots. For example, "It's OK to take your hat off in here - our roof doesn't leak". And, "You can take off your shoes in here - we don't keep the pigs in the house any more".

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Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
There was a club of mainly female retirees who would come in occasionally to have lunch in the office canteen and reminisce about the old days among the Manila folders. The would doff their coats but retain hats and maybe the knotted silk square round the neck.

A lady removes her hat only in her own home . . . and, it must be added, her place of business.

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cliffdweller
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# 13338

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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
There was a club of mainly female retirees who would come in occasionally to have lunch in the office canteen and reminisce about the old days among the Manila folders. The would doff their coats but retain hats and maybe the knotted silk square round the neck.

A lady removes her hat only in her own home . . . and, it must be added, her place of business.
...in certain cultures, of course.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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Here shoes are NEVER worn in the house, the temple or the mosque and generally not in church but when we lived in the city and used to go to an Anglo-Indian parish not only were shoes allowed beyond the door but also men and women sat together!

Shocking!

In the two parishes we attend these days [one Latin Catholic and the other Syro-Malabar Catholic] the rule is men on the Gospel side and women on the Epistle side with the overspill of women at the back on the Gospel side.

eta: children move about and can go either side - they often wander between parents during mass.

[ 14. January 2014, 04:21: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]

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Ariel
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I always kick my shoes off when I get home. Not sure how that started, but possibly a simple desire to get rid of these cumbersome things on my feet and move around more easily. It's one of the reasons why I never wear trainers: I tried some on once and it felt like having my feet imprisoned.

Going barefoot in the grass on a dewy summer morning is one of life's small simple pleasures, as is walking along the beach (with the usual provisos of there being no litter, sharp objects, dog mess, etc etc).

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The5thMary
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Here's something I haven't really seen in the Southern United States but only up north and sometimes, rarely, in the Pacific Northwest: Older women wearing hair curlers out in public! Oh, I used to see that in D.C. and Maryland all the time and had to restrain myself from screaming. Who wants to see some old crone with her old crone friends out and about, on public transportation sporting curlers all over their heads? Tacky! Do women in other countries do this?

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Welease Woderwick

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Yes, going out in curlers is prevalent amongst certain social classes in UK. I even got on a coach from Liverpool to London last year when I was over there and there was a woman in curlers on the bus.

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The5thMary
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Wearing baseball caps backwards still seems rather popular. I know some people absolutely hate it but I always wear my baseball caps backwards, when I wear them. Just because it annoys people AND I just like the way they look on my head.

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Ariel
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There was somebody recently standing having a conversation with a friend outside Tesco’s, dressed in her nightie, dressing gown and slippers. In public in the street at nearly midday. I really hope that doesn’t catch on – it’s been known in other parts of the country but what utter laziness.

Also, not so long ago I saw a woman with her two kids one evening in the supermarket where she was dressed normally but the kids were in pyjamas and dressing gowns. If they’re ready for bed at 8 pm, why drag them out to the supermarket?

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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Hair in curlers used to be a norm in my childhood. It made me wonder when and where was this high day or holiday for which the hair was being so endlessly prepared.

I don't remember nighties in the street, but I do remember bedroom slippers as acceptable outdoor wear. (There's a wonderful riff on this in the opening paragraphs of Fludd)

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MSHB
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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
I'm used to it now, but when I first visited people Outside I was shocked to see people wearing shoes inside houses. Seemed super rude to me.

You have to wear shoes inside your house in Australia so you can stamp on all the poisonous spiders and snakes.

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Lothlorien
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quote:
Originally posted by MSHB:
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
I'm used to it now, but when I first visited people Outside I was shocked to see people wearing shoes inside houses. Seemed super rude to me.

You have to wear shoes inside your house in Australia so you can stamp on all the poisonous spiders and snakes.
And cockies in this warm weather. I've seen only a couple in this place since I moved in almost three years ago. Seen about a dozen in last few weeks and have put down lure and kill baits.

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ecumaniac

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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Yes, going out in curlers is prevalent amongst certain social classes in UK. I even got on a coach from Liverpool to London last year when I was over there and there was a woman in curlers on the bus.

On the very, very rare occasion that I decide to curl my hair for some event, I use the old-fashioned method that requires leaving them in for hours instead of using a hairdryer. If I happen to want to run to the shops during that time, too bad! I do wrap a scarf on though.

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Ricardus
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quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:

The shoes thing is funny-- my grandmother was always the opposite-- she couldn't stand the idea of anyone walking around on her nice clean floors in their bare feet! *shudder*


When I lived in the Czech Republic, most households maintained a collection of slippers by the front door for visitors' use.

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L'organist
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No shoes in the house? But what about splinters? I can see that it might work if you had fitted carpets but not otherwise.

Of course, the issue of cold also comes up. So slippers are the norm in our house.

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The Intrepid Mrs S
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quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
Wearing baseball caps backwards still seems rather popular. I know some people absolutely hate it but I always wear my baseball caps backwards, when I wear them. Just because it annoys people AND I just like the way they look on my head.

What really makes me wonder is the fashion for wearing baseball caps forwards but tipped back [Eek!] In my view it seems to make the wearer look really stupid, though I couldn't tell you why - unless they would look equally dumb without?

Mrs. S, pondering

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Enoch
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I think taking one's shoes off in someone else's house is a Far Eastern custom. I was asked to do so when I visited a Korean family a few years ago. They explained to me that 'this is what we do'.

If a visitor came to my house, took their shoes off and padded around in their socks or stockings, I'd be offended. I'd feel they were making themselves at home. It would be like inviting yourself to stay without being asked.

Women wearing curlers in the street, and anyone going shopping in their night clothes is gross, a clear statement that you aren't the sort of person who even wants to get invited to any parties, yet alone the best ones.

Despite the fact that photographs exist of both the late Princess of Wales and the Duke of Cambridge wearing them, even wearing a baseball cap the right way round makes a person look like a prat. Wearing one when driving is a clear warning to everyone else on the road, 'mobile traffic hazard on the loose'. But wearing one back to front! Fifth Mary, how can you imagine that it makes anyone look good? It sends out a clear message 'complete pillock underneath'!

Take it from me, free fashion advice. Don't.

[ 14. January 2014, 11:19: Message edited by: Enoch ]

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LeRoc

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In a tropical country, visitors can take their shoes/sandals off and walk bare-feet in your house (they usually do in my house in Brazil). In colder countries, when they have to use socks, the smell can be a problem...

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balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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Don't know where wearing baseball caps backwards came from, but in the days before helmets were compulsory in cycle sport, competitors would wear caps forwards when riding into the sun and backwards when riding away from the sun to protect the back of the neck. On the grouse moors it is permitted to turn your flat cap backwards to give a better view of your shot. Where the idea of wearing a cap backwards when not taking part in a sport though is beyond me.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
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quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
But wearing one back to front! Fifth Mary, how can you imagine that it makes anyone look good? It sends out a clear message 'complete pillock underneath'!

Could be 5th Mary absolutely rocks the backward baseball cap look. One of the select few.

I think it would be polite to make that assumption, Enoch.

Firenze
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ecumaniac

Ship's whipping girl
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quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
I think taking one's shoes off in someone else's house is a Far Eastern custom. I was asked to do so when I visited a Korean family a few years ago. They explained to me that 'this is what we do'.

Stops the dirt from the street from being tracked all through your house.

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
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I wouldn't count us as being Far Eastern here in South Asia! It is also quite common for there to be a keendi or lota [a sort of jug thing with a spout] by the front door so that guests who wish to may wash their feet before they come in - one of the local kids always does this when he visits. When we first visited UK together Himself was shocked that people would walk into someone else's house in their shoes!

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What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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cliffdweller
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# 13338

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quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
Here's something I haven't really seen in the Southern United States but only up north and sometimes, rarely, in the Pacific Northwest: Older women wearing hair curlers out in public! Oh, I used to see that in D.C. and Maryland all the time and had to restrain myself from screaming. Who wants to see some old crone with her old crone friends out and about, on public transportation sporting curlers all over their heads? Tacky! Do women in other countries do this?

Who uses curlers any more??? Those went out with curling irons!

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cliffdweller
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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
There was somebody recently standing having a conversation with a friend outside Tesco’s, dressed in her nightie, dressing gown and slippers. In public in the street at nearly midday. I really hope that doesn’t catch on – it’s been known in other parts of the country but what utter laziness.

Also, not so long ago I saw a woman with her two kids one evening in the supermarket where she was dressed normally but the kids were in pyjamas and dressing gowns. If they’re ready for bed at 8 pm, why drag them out to the supermarket?

A nightie would cause a stare, but here in So. Cal, wearing flannel pajama pants (with a t shirt of sweatshirt) is quite common among the young. It is pretty much the standard uniform for my college students, especially during exam season. I don't mind, given that they're actually more covered up than they were in previous fashions.

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Edith
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# 16978

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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Hair in curlers used to be a norm in my childhood. It made me wonder when and where was this high day or holiday for which the hair was being so endlessly prepared.

I don't remember nighties in the street, but I do remember bedroom slippers as acceptable outdoor wear. (There's a wonderful riff on this in the opening paragraphs of Fludd)

And in mine. The women used to take them out just before their husbands arrived home from the pit.

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
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If that is the case then hair curlers are the English equivalent to the hijab. That is what women wear to keep your best looks for their family. Of course I also suspect at least amongst younger women curlers are worn so to look their best while out on a Friday night.

Jengie

[ 14. January 2014, 15:17: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]

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Pigwidgeon

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There's an old, anecdotal story from back in the 60s when pink curlers were worn everywhere -- of a bride who wore curlers to her wedding so that her hair would look nice for the reception.

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Pomona
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quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
Here's something I haven't really seen in the Southern United States but only up north and sometimes, rarely, in the Pacific Northwest: Older women wearing hair curlers out in public! Oh, I used to see that in D.C. and Maryland all the time and had to restrain myself from screaming. Who wants to see some old crone with her old crone friends out and about, on public transportation sporting curlers all over their heads? Tacky! Do women in other countries do this?

Who uses curlers any more??? Those went out with curling irons!
Very much in use, actually! You can also get heated ones.

modern curling tongs

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Ariel
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There was a time when you used to see women in curlers, a scarf worn like a turban round the head and a cigarette dangling from one corner of the mouth, while they stood on their doorsteps, arms folded, to talk to each other and break off periodically to shout at the children. I thought all that had died out by the early 70s.
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Jengie jon

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Our Hilda was still wearing them in the 1980s. However she was based on women from earlier decades.

Jengie

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comet

Snowball in Hell
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quote:
Originally posted by ecumaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
I think taking one's shoes off in someone else's house is a Far Eastern custom. I was asked to do so when I visited a Korean family a few years ago. They explained to me that 'this is what we do'.

Stops the dirt from the street from being tracked all through your house.
EXACTLY! or snow and ice melting and soaking into your floor.

if I were to walk into someone's house with my shoes on (without asking, in case there's some reason I need to.) an risk tracking wet and dirt and dog shit or whatever from the outside world, it would be like insulting the people who live there. like I don't care about their hygiene.

and we always keep spare slippers, but not everyone does. if you invite people into your home you're responsible for keeping your home warm enough and your floor clean enough for them to be comfortable. if for some reason you can't promise this, you tell them the moment they walk in that they should keep their shoes on, you're very sorry but the heater is busted/the toddler spilled applesauce/the dog chews sticks in the house, etc.

and if you're going to someone's home, you make sure to wear clean socks!

as Enoch said, it's obviously rude to take your shoes OFF elsewhere, so I just always ask when I'm outside of AK or the Yukon. crazy foreign customs. [Biased]

[ 14. January 2014, 18:28: Message edited by: comet ]

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Chocoholic
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Ooh, I hate it when people wear shoes in our house, we have our own shoes in the porch which often acts as a hint, but as a reserved Brit I can't just tell people take them off! [Roll Eyes]

On the pyjama thing, I remember a few years ago one Tesco store banned people going in wearing them, caused uproar!

Some days when I change from my pyjamas into track suit bottoms and long sleeve T shirt I do wonder how different they are though!

[ 14. January 2014, 18:50: Message edited by: Chocoholic ]

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Carex
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quote:
Originally posted by comet:


...and if you're going to someone's home, you make sure to wear clean socks!


Especially if you've spent all day cleaning fish, chasing hogs, or otherwise mucking about in your red rubber boots / wellies. PLEASE!

A boot bench in a covered entrance allows the more messy (or fragrant) footwear to be removed and left outside. We have some spare slippers by the front door, and thick wool socks are available on request for the comfort of our guests.

This is more a practical matter than cultural: while muddy boots were discouraged when we lived in a 100-year-old farmhouse with mottled brown carpet (surely chosen by a farmer's wife who knew what to expect), we still often wore shoes inside. But the new house has white carpeting throughout, and some contaminates are not sufficiently removed by a single doormat.

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LeRoc

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quote:
comet: and if you're going to someone's home, you make sure to wear clean socks!
It's been a long time since I wore socks [Biased]

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no prophet's flag is set so...

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The not wearing shoes in someone's house is practical, at least here. Dust, bits of grit, mud and dirt cling to them and damage flooring and make it dirty.

In winter, boots come off, but people often wear shoes that are sort of boot like, and because it is frozen here for 7 months, the amount of snow tracked is small, except with fresh fallen snow, taking shoes off is 'sometimes'. But always if dirty.

Bare feet in summer? If they clean come in, if not, don't. Bare feet in winter? Typically only done if a quick trip out and in, and visitors don't do it.

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Leorning Cniht
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quote:
Originally posted by Chocoholic:
Ooh, I hate it when people wear shoes in our house, we have our own shoes in the porch which often acts as a hint, but as a reserved Brit I can't just tell people take them off!

Before moving to the US, I had never encountered the idea of removing your shoes when you visited someone's house, and if you were expecting company in your own home, you would naturally be wearing decent clothes and shoes. Shoes didn't go upstairs, though.

In these parts, the norm seems to be that people remove their shoes if they are staying, but keep them on and hover in the entryway if they are just dropping off or collecting something or someone.

As Carex suggests, people with thick fluffy white carpets are rather more concerned about shoes than people with polished wooden floors.

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HCH
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I know people who follow the custom of not wearing shoes in their homes, and one result is that there is often a large collection of shoes by the front door. It can be a bottleneck if they have guests: find your shoes and manage to put them on while several other people are waiting.
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BessLane
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One of the few social conventions I miss from Miami is the kiss hello/kiss goodbye. My esperience was that is was not at all uncommon to give someone you had just met either an air kiss or a light kiss on the cheek instead of a handshake. I miss that living here.

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Firenze

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I grew up in a social environment totally devoid of social kissing. I can remember as a child of about 5, visiting relatives in England, and being fairly bewildered by my great aunt kissing me Goodnight.

I'd say it still, in my present milieu, represents a sincere expression of affection between old friends rather than a mwah! mwah! darling! to comparative strangers. In fact, I can't remember any miscellaneous bussing other than on Hogmanay.

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Penny S
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I've notioed a change in workmens' habits with regards to shoes and boots. Some leave them on. Some take them off. Some now arrive with those plastic things with elastic to put on over their footwear. It doesn't seem to be connected with the likelihood of their dropping heavy stuff on their feet.
I'm going to have to clean the laminate tomorrow after the door fitters have finished.

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Lamb Chopped
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quote:
Originally posted by ecumaniac:
quote:
Originally posted by Enoch:
I think taking one's shoes off in someone else's house is a Far Eastern custom. I was asked to do so when I visited a Korean family a few years ago. They explained to me that 'this is what we do'.

Stops the dirt from the street from being tracked all through your house.
It's also because the floor is a major workspace where people chop veggies (on a board of course), lay out fabric for cutting, and so forth. Wearing dirty shoes on it would be rather likedoing the same on your kitchen counter.

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Piglet
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I remember finding the shoe-removal thing odd when I went to Norway, especially as all the times I've been there have been in the summer and it didn't seem necessary.

Having now lived Somewhere Cold And Snowy™ for ten years, I can see why people do it in winter; it's to stop the floors getting wet. If I'm visiting somebody's house and my shoes/boots are wet, I'll usually take a pair of shoes to change into, although I wouldn't bother in the summer. I know several gentlemen who wear rubber over-shoes, and just remove them when they go to someone's house.

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Leaf
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In the American Midwest, a polite "Thank you" to a server or clerk will be met with a response of "Yep" and a thousand-yard stare. It's a bit uncanny. "You're welcome" or "No problem" would be my culturally-expected responses.

"Yep." Are you agreeing with me that you ought to be thanked?

It's especially odd given the usually overly-overly-friendly service that precedes it: the sort of over-friendliness that prompts the grumpier among us to contemplate buying and using mace.

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An die Freude
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I suspect that not wearing shoes might not just be a Far Eastern habit, but also a Far Northern one. As far as I know, all of Scandinavia demands that you take them off when entering a home, similar to Yukon and Alaska.

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