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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: family quotes.
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
These stories are so funny. Thank you all.
A recent one from my daughter and four year old grand-daughter after daughter had just put grand-daughter's lunch in front of her.
Grand-daughter: Mummy, you're gorgeous!
Daughter: Thank you, Darling
Grand-daughter: No, Mummy you really are GORGEOUS.....(Dramatic flourish)....even when you're dead......
I find children's minds fascinating and hilarious.
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Another one from cousin Anton, who had not been to an Anglican Eucharist before.
Me; What did you do today Anton?
Anton; Aunty took me to church.
Me; What happened there?
Anton; The man donged me on the head and said, "God bless you".
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Altarboy, looking at photo of Mr A and his three brothers who all look like Mr A:
Daddy!
Other Daddy!
Other Daddy!
Other Daddy!!!!!
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Marama
Shipmate
# 330
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Posted
Daughter (then aged about 4) always wanted the last word in any discussion.
Me: "You are the most argumentative girl in the world"
Daughter (quick as a flash): "How do you know?"
She is now a lawyer!
Posts: 910 | From: Canberra | Registered: May 2001
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Mili
Shipmate
# 3254
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Posted
I've told this one here before, but there was a sequel this Christmas. When we were kids we always put on a family nativity play when we celebrated Christmas with Dad's side of the family. One year, one of my brothers who was very into cricket asked if he could be the wicket keeper. (For non cricket fans that's the fielder who stands behind the stumps, and definitely not somebody who owns an inn).
This Christmas his two sons ages almost 6 and 4 are really into cricket so my parents bought them cricket sets. The 4 year old was enjoying looking at all the bits in the set and came across the box. Which although sold ambiguously as a 'man's abdominal guard' actually protects more sensitive man parts.
Nephew was confused about what it was for and asked my brother. He explained as politely as he could, but my nephew wouldn't believe him. First he decided it was a knee pad. I tried explaining again, but he then decided it was an elbow protector and put it on his elbow to demonstrate.
"I've seen the cricketers on TV wearing it like this", he insisted and demonstrated hitting an invisible ball with an invisible bat.
He then asked my brother in law what it was for and got the same answer as before. However I think as we were giggling he thought we were all just lying to tease him and he kept insisting it was definitely an elbow protector.
[ 04. February 2014, 09:15: Message edited by: Mili ]
Posts: 1015 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
After a discussion on the way to school about how it is that my children have (in order of appearance) green, blue and brown eyes, and on the way home, what the difference is between identical and fraternal twins:
Altarboy (age 10): So, how do the sperm and the egg get together?
Me: Well, you do that by having sex.
Altarboy: Gaahhhhh! Gahhhhh!. So you and Dad … HAVE HAD SEX???
Altargirl #2: Shut Up, Altarboy. I don’t want to hear this.
Me: Yes. I’m afr
aid so.
Altarboy: THREE TIMES?!!!
Me: Yes.
Altargirl #2: Errrghhh. Shut Up, Altarboy. I’m going to be sick.
Altarboy: Oh.my.god.
… silence.
Altarboy (shaking head): That’s it. I’m going to have to tell my wife, “Sorry, no kids”.
[ 04. February 2014, 09:27: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Daughter: "Did you and Dad have 100% success with sex?"
Me: "Ummm...what do you mean?"
Daughter: "Did you get pregnant every time you had sex? Because I've heard sometimes you have to do it more than once"
Me "We had to do it more than once. But don't worry, darling. Daddy and I thought having you was worth it."
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Daughter: "Did you and Dad have 100% success with sex?"
Me: "Ummm...what do you mean?"
Daughter: "Did you get pregnant every time you had sex? Because I've heard sometimes you have to do it more than once"
Me "We had to do it more than once. But don't worry, darling. Daddy and I thought having you was worth it."
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Mrs. S, genuinely speechless for once ... ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
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Posted
How to make your mum feel loved, in one short conversation... This happened a few years ago now; Op 1 must have been 4 or 5.
Op1: Mummy, I know who I want to be my new mummy when you die.
Me: Really darling? And who's that then?
Op1: *named 16-year-old babysitter*
Me: ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
My children (aged about 3) visiting friends with newborn.
They looked at the baby then asked if they could go and find toys (they knew the house), were given permission and took themselves off upstairs to play.
After 5 minutes with us both on the edge of our seats listening to the thunder of four feet upstairs I went to find them.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Them: "Looking"
Me: "Looking? What for?"
Them: "The other one"
Me: "Other one?"
Them: "Other baby, only one downstairs"
Me: "That's because X only had one baby"
Them: "No. One baby downstairs, where's the other one?"
Me: "Some babies come on their own"
At which point they burst into howls of laughter ran downstairs and yelled "Where's the other baby?"
Me: "You know Caroline is on her own (older sibling of newborn): well, so is Oliver."
Them: "But she's a girl. Girls are alone, but Oliver is a boy: where's the other one?"
You see, they thought all boys came as one of an identical pair...
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
My eldest, aged 3, discussing his 6 week old brother whom he had previously appeared to be quite accepting of; 'So, when is he going?' ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
Altarboy: Gaahhhhh! Gahhhhh!. So you and Dad … HAVE HAD SEX???
This reminds me of a reported conversation between my two brothers when told of my impending arrival - they were 10 and 12 at the time:
"You know what this means, don't you? It means they're still Doing It."
Nen - product of libidinous parents.
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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AngloCatholicGirl
Shipmate
# 16435
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Posted
My friend's young children were watching Star Wars, at the end of the movie the sister said to her brother (who was about 4 years old at the time): 'may the force be with you'
To which he most solemnly replied: 'and also with you'
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Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise -Samuel Johnson
Posts: 75 | From: Now from across the pond | Registered: May 2011
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Silver Swan
Apprentice
# 17957
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Posted
In the fifties, when women often wore fox furs with the head and claws still attached, my little sister pointed at one and said, Ooh look, Mum! Is that lady's dog tired?
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Christ Jesus came to be Immanuel, not a manual.
Posts: 33 | From: Australia | Registered: Jan 2014
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
Taking a ride somewhere with Dad, probably to a piano lesson. We go by a new cemetery, with a large advertising sign.
Me: Does "non-sectarian" mean you can bury men AND women in there? [Dad guffaws]
Me: What about "perpetual care"? They take cats and dogs too"? [larger guffaw]
I never did find out anything.
![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marama:
Daughter (then aged about 4) always wanted the last word in any discussion.
Me: "You are the most argumentative girl in the world"
Daughter (quick as a flash): "How do you know?"
She is now a lawyer!
My mother and my aunt: aunt was being picky.
Mum: Aren't you argumentative?
Aunt: No I'm not!
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Beethoven:
How to make your mum feel loved, in one short conversation... This happened a few years ago now; Op 1 must have been 4 or 5.
Op1: Mummy, I know who I want to be my new mummy when you die.
Me: Really darling? And who's that then?
Op1: *named 16-year-old babysitter*
Me:
Mr. Cliffdweller and I were leading a couple's Bible study. We were meeting in the downstairs living room of a condo while the kids were playing upstairs in a loft bedroom that looked out over the living room. During a lull in the conversation we clearly heard DaughterCliffdweller giving play instructions to the younger kidletts: "let's pretend our parents are dead..."
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
/Pedant alert
quote:
Originally posted by Jenn.:
son: Who's computer then???????
As in the late Dr. Seuss's "Horton Hears a Who" or do you mean 'whose'?
/end pedant alert.
Our daughter used to always claim that she originated the phrase "If you never go, you'll never know!" However, looking back to her grammar school days, she may have gotten it from a television advert!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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The Phantom Flan Flinger
Shipmate
# 8891
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by AngloCatholicGirl:
My friend's young children were watching Star Wars, at the end of the movie the sister said to her brother (who was about 4 years old at the time): 'may the force be with you'
To which he most solemnly replied: 'and also with you'
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http://www.faith-hope-and-confusion.com/
Posts: 1020 | From: Leicester, England | Registered: Dec 2004
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
From a young friend of mine:
"If you don't ask questions, you don't learn anything..."
(pause)
"...it's brilliant."
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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The Machine Elf
Irregular polytope
# 1622
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sparrow:
quote:
Originally posted by Marama:
Daughter (then aged about 4) always wanted the last word in any discussion.
Me: "You are the most argumentative girl in the world"
Daughter (quick as a flash): "How do you know?"
She is now a lawyer!
My mother and my aunt: aunt was being picky.
Mum: Aren't you argumentative?
Aunt: No I'm not!
That's not an argument, it's just contradiction.
My brother used to call 'hospital' 'eggbottle', which made sense to him as it was where mum when when (pr)eggers.
He's just won an award for his poetry.
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Elves of any kind are strange folk.
Posts: 1298 | From: the edge of the deep green sea | Registered: Oct 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
not family, but one I remember very well from my teenage days. I was visiting a school friend at her home, when she got in an argument with her mother about us wanting to do something or other. Her mother told her she would be allowed to do X once she showed a greater level of maturity. my friend's response, "I AM mature! I am I am I AM!" Stomp stomp stomp slam door.
I laughed so hard I fell off the couch. then the mom drove me home.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Silver Swan:
In the fifties, when women often wore fox furs with the head and claws still attached, my little sister pointed at one and said, Ooh look, Mum! Is that lady's dog tired?
I remember those fox furs! I was always fascinated with the way the mouths clamped on. A friend (about my age) always called them 'poochies'.
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You can't retire from a calling.
Posts: 1675 | From: saint meinrad, IN | Registered: Apr 2006
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cosmic dance
Shipmate
# 14025
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Posted
On safari in Africa with husband, sons and a bird watching guide
No.2 Son: Look Mum, there's a Corey's Bastard.
Me: Bustard, son, Bustard.
No.2 Son: Well he looks like a real bastard to me.
(Family helpless with laughter for a long time...)
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"No method, no teacher, no guru..." Van Morrison.
Posts: 233 | From: godzone | Registered: Aug 2008
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
<snip>
This moment passed into family lore, my brother even quoting it at dad's funeral.
My mum did make wonderful apple pie.
Well, it's not a verbal quote, but once after my mom failed horribly at making bread, and it came out of the oven hard as a brick (well, almost), my dad nailed it to a tree outside for birds to enjoy. (He's always had a special fondness for birds.)
Mom took it in great humor and still laughs about it to this day! Maybe I get my ability to laugh at myself from her.
I do have quite a few good quotes from both grandmothers, though. Let me start with one from my paternal grandmother, who used to mix up similar words.
She was telling about when she was seated on a flight next to then- Michigan Gov. George Romney's niece.* She was telling about the lovely conversation she had with the woman, and remarked, "She's a Moron, just like her uncle!"
*If I'm misremembering this and it was some other relation, it makes no real difference to this quote.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
*If I'm misremembering this and it was some other relation, it makes no real difference to this quote.
Indeed, my great-aunt was famous for
quote:
Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.
And she had a lot of "good stories" about crossing the Plains in a covered wagon in the 1850s as a girl of 16 that clearly fell in that category.
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Meg the Red
Shipmate
# 11838
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Stomp stomp stomp slam door.
When I was an (utterly charming and tragically misunderstood) adolescent, my family nickname was "Stomp!Stomp!Stomp!Slam!"
Ah, memories . . . ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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Chocoholic Canuckistani Cyclopath
Posts: 1126 | From: Rat Creek | Registered: Sep 2006
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Not family, but a 'treasure' without whom the house would have become a midden:
Meg: My niece come over last night, you know, the one with the dad that's gone all sea-lion.
Visions of stout worthy flapping flippers being thrown fish.
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
My parents, living in the sticks and without a babysitter, were forced to take me along, as a small but very well-behaved child, to a performance of 'Billy Liar' at the Cambridge Arts Theatre.
In a quiet passage, cue small voice from the stalls -
'Mummy, what's a virgin?
Mrs. S, red-faced even more than 50 years later
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Intrepid Mrs S:
My parents, living in the sticks and without a babysitter, were forced to take me along, as a small but very well-behaved child, to a performance of 'Billy Liar' at the Cambridge Arts Theatre.
In a quiet passage, cue small voice from the stalls -
'Mummy, what's a virgin?
Mrs. S, red-faced even more than 50 years later
Not exactly a family quote except in the broader sense of "church family", but this reminded me of an advent breakfast we held at church for young children. As part of the festivities, the kiddies, averaging about 3-7 years of age, dressed in all their pretty Christmas finery, gathered around a woman from the church who was famed for her storytelling skills. She proceeded with a very enthusiastic and heartfelt retelling of the Christmas story. In which, wanting them to understand why the virgin birth was miraculous, proceeded to detail how this was a departure from the norm-- by explaining in unexpected detail precisely what the normal process of conception entails. Lots and lots of wide eyes on that one.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I think I posted about this a while ago, but it bears inclusion here - again, church family rather than genealogical family.
Our curate's wife was very keen to have their daughter show off her (then) nascent oral skills:
CW: What does the dog say?
CD: Woof.
CW: What does the cat say?
CD: Meow.
CW: What does the cow say?
CD: Moo.
CW: What does Daddy say?
CD: Mass.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
My children were watching rubbishy Saturday morning cartoons on TV, including Angela Anaconda. It was an episode in which AA had to make a Greek diorama as a school project. The plot involved the Augean stables and the word "scatological" was used. My children asked what "scatological" meant and I told them.
At church the next morning, the minister was in mid sermon when he used the word "eschatological"
The whole church heard my small daughter exclaim "Mummy! MUMMY! He's talking about POO!"
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
I think I posted about this a while ago, but it bears inclusion here - again, church family rather than genealogical family.
Our curate's wife was very keen to have their daughter show off her (then) nascent oral skills:
CW: What does the dog say?
CD: Woof.
CW: What does the cat say?
CD: Meow.
CW: What does the cow say?
CD: Moo.
CW: What does Daddy say?
CD: Mass.
I thought this story would end with
what does the fox say?
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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birdie
fowl
# 2173
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Posted
Oh, there are so many,but one I was reminded of this morning, was E, aged about 3, helping me go through the laundry and handing me a bra, saying
"Mummy, here are your nipple pants."
I.nearly.died.
Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
I brought little daughter home from kindergarten at lunchtime and sat her at the dining table to eat lunch. While she was doing this I went outside to bring the washing in from the clotheses line. On my return I was puzzled to see her cutting at a saucer of sugar with a knife. Amazing answer to my 'why' question: the school nurse had been to talk to the children about looking after their teeth and young miss took the instruction to 'cut down on sugar' quite literally.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
This one really has become part of our family language. Sometimes we get it reversed, but that makes us laugh all the more.
Traveling in car. Son1 excitedly says, "Look- a deer right over there!"
Son2 says "Gee, if we hadn't noticed it, we wouldn't have seen it."
You can't imagine how handy that phrase is.
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by birdie:
Oh, there are so many,but one I was reminded of this morning, was E, aged about 3, helping me go through the laundry and handing me a bra, saying
"Mummy, here are your nipple pants."
I.nearly.died.
E is brilliant.
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
I think I posted about this a while ago, but it bears inclusion here - again, church family rather than genealogical family.
Our curate's wife was very keen to have their daughter show off her (then) nascent oral skills:
CW: What does the dog say?
CD: Woof.
CW: What does the cat say?
CD: Meow.
CW: What does the cow say?
CD: Moo.
CW: What does Daddy say?
CD: Mass.
I went with this routine with my son aged three, ending with:
What does Mommy say?
Answer: "I love you." ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
I tried again at age ten, which was pressing my luck: ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
What does Mommy say?
Answer: "Life is hard, suck it up!"
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I went with this routine with my son aged three, ending with:
What does Mommy say?
Answer: "I love you."
I tried again at age ten, which was pressing my luck:
What does Mommy say?
Answer: "Life is hard, suck it up!"
Reminds me of a conversation with Nenlet2 when he was perhaps about three years old.
Me: I love you, *name*
Nenlet2: Yes. Daddy luff me too.
Me: ... Yes.... That's right...
Nen - raiser of - hopefully - emotionally secure children... ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Truman White
Shipmate
# 17290
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Posted
Overhead this from an eight year old talking to his Dad:
"Dad - is it true that people in France drive on the right hand side of the road?"
"Yes, they do."
"That's daft - why aren't they like us and drive on both sides?"
Posts: 476 | Registered: Aug 2012
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
Daughter to daddy, 'will you love me til the bluebells ring?'
Older sister, quick a flash, 'I'll love you til the church bells ring, and that's Sunday.'
She was only about 9.
This was the same kid who wrote an essay about 'eggward the professor' with almost total lack of understanding, and and watched 'childrenscrojams' on TV.
Don't ask me what was going on in her head...
[ 08. February 2014, 19:24: Message edited by: Taliesin ]
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
I love reading this thread! (Wiping tears from eyes.)
I think I may have shared this little story once before, but here it is again.
Daughter-Unit was a bit of a drama queen when she was very young. We were on our way to church one Sunday morning, and she discovered she had left something at home. She asked for me to turn around so she could get it, and since we had already traveled eight miles, we were almost to our destination, and I needed to be at w*rk, I said that we wouldn't go home. She crossed her little arms, forced tears from her eyes and started saying how much she hated herself and had the normal speech occurred, she would have mentioned that she wished she was dead. But that's not what came out of her mouth that time.
"I hate myself. I wish I was stupid."
She had her head down while saying this and looked up at my face sideways to see if I had noticed. We both cracked up and that's the last time she ever used that little drama scene.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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BessLane
Shipmate
# 15176
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Posted
Years ago, my mother, who lives in upstate New York, had recently begun working as a home health nurse and had found herself assigned to mostly male clients. In a effort to have some handy conversaion starters, she started listening to sports talk radio in the car on the way between stops. At this time, Doug Flutie was playing for the Buffalo Bills and had suffered a groin injury which had all the sports guys in a tizzy. We were out to lunch one day when mother, out of the blue, announces, "and I'm so stinking sick of Doug Flutie's groin!", in a very loud voice. To this day, any piece of minor news that is re-hashed to death in the media is referred to by my family as Doug Flutie's Groin. Outsiders don't understand
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It's all on me and I won't tell it.
formerly BessHiggs
Posts: 1388 | From: Yorkville, TN | Registered: Sep 2009
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
Last year my grandson, then aged three was coming with me to collect a kitten that I was buying. When we arrived the we were told that he had decided to sell to someone else instead
All the way home my grandson after spending a few miles saying variations of how much he missed the kitten and needed the kitten suddenly came out with "That man lied, he should be made to go to the Jeremy Kyle"
(We did find another kitten shortly after)
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
My ex-husband's grandmother was a strict teetotaller. Nothing alcoholic ever passed her lips.
At some time in her early 80s she fainted. When she came around, her DIL gave her some brandy.
Nana's exclamation after one sip was, "You watered that down!"
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
We were visiting my step-daughter to see the new addition to the family:
No 1 son: Maybe she'll grow into her face when she's older?
Step-daughter cracked-up, thank goodness!
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Fredegund
Shipmate
# 17952
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Posted
Many years ago: the small boy who, amongst other things, became my uncle, was taken to the Gents for the first time to mark being older. Tradition and my mother report that he exited at speed, crying "Mummy, they wee up the wall!" He was never allowed to forget it, and it was related wherever groups of family passed the public conveniences.
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Pax et bonum
Posts: 117 | From: Shakespeare's County | Registered: Jan 2014
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