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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Craft Projects, Recipes and 99 Other Uses: The Hell pet thread.
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
To Hell with people and their pets.
No, I do not hate pets. Nor do I hate people.* I do get annoyed at the bullshit surrounding pets.
1. They are not essential
2. Your desire to have fluffy-wuffykins drown you in saliva or mark you as territory does not give you the right to let them shit everywhere and destroy the local ecosystem.
By all means have a pet, but manage it properly! Or perhaps we should consider having you put down**
*Welllll, not all of them.
**For those whose brain function beyond the stem is impaired, this is hyperbole.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 3259 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
My mother does that--calls the dog her daughter, etc, I mean. I refuse to be a sister to someone furry who craps in public.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Prester John
Shipmate
# 5502
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
As someone whose yard seems to be the toliet for the pets of every lazy jackass on the block, I commend you for cleaning up after your dog but I don't see why your neighbor should bother providing you plastic bags. Shouldn't you bring that with you before you leave your house?
Posts: 884 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Feb 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Oh lord, yes. I know some truly frightening examples. Extending to photos of the pet to hang over the bed.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Oh lord, yes. I know some truly frightening examples. Extending to photos of the pet to hang over the bed.
That the pet slept in, no doubt?
On a related note, if your girlfriend insists that the "precious baby kitties that love their mommy" get to sleep in the bed (i.e., on your face), nevermind that you're allergic, it might be a sign to run.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Prester John:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
As someone whose yard seems to be the toliet for the pets of every lazy jackass on the block, I commend you for cleaning up after your dog but I don't see why your neighbor should bother providing you plastic bags. Shouldn't you bring that with you before you leave your house?
Wull, yeah, but one does run out.(I don't have a dog, and therefore do not have a dog in this fight.)
(Feel free to hate and abuse me for that one.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
On a related note, if your girlfriend insists that the "precious baby kitties that love their mommy" get to sleep in the bed (i.e., on your face), nevermind that you're allergic, it might be a sign to run.
No might, run.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
My mother does that--calls the dog her daughter, etc, I mean. I refuse to be a sister to someone furry who craps in public.
You've never been sister to my older brother then...
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 3259 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
You strike me as more irritable these days lilBuddha.
Maybe you should consider changing religions? That whole nirvana and non-attachment shit doesn't seem to be doing much for you.
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
to hell with other people's pets, I'd like to eviscerate my own pet and put his hide on my wall.
my students gave me a director's gift at curtain call last night. a perfect box of chocolates. I hid it away in my closet as a treat for later.
I come in my room tonight to find a mere scrap of the wrapping on my bed. no box, no chocolates. all totally gone.
and this brown eyed, shit filled, pile of sled dog mutt trying to look all innocent. Fuck you, you little asshole!
of course, I found this out after giving him his generous second helping of posh-ass gourmet doggy food that my mom insists is better for him and does give him a very shiny coat, so I can't even deprive him of his dinner. Despite him depriving me of my treat, which does terrible things for my coat but is delicious and I deserved it, dammit.
and while I'm writing this, my idiot cat and my mom's idiot cat decide to launch an epic smack down in the woods between our houses, leading me and my son to go hunt through the snowy woods in pajamas and snowboots and flashlights to try and save these mini freaks from themselves and their enormous General Patton egos.
if it wasn't for my inability to abuse an animal's trust and my deep dislike of rodents, the whole fucking lot of them would be in nice butcher paper in the freezer TONIGHT.
[ 03. February 2014, 07:17: Message edited by: comet ]
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Preach it, sister! Shits me too.
I have two cats. I am very fond of them. But they are cats. If they get cancer, they'll get the green dream and burial in a communal cat grave. Not so my actual children.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
... the bullshit surrounding pets ...
... is virtually inevitable if the pet is a bull.
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Who will be granted individual graves.
Oh, and dogs. The whole yappy, slobbering, pawing tribe of them. No, I don't need to know its name - it's Bog Off.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
We have gerbils.
We refer to them as "our babies".
I don't give a single furry fuck if that bugs you.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
What you get up to with your gerbils in private is your business Marvin.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Liopleurodon
Mighty sea creature
# 4836
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Posted
Crazy cat lady here. Yup, my cat is "mummy's little furry baby" but that's because that's the kind of relationship we have because she's that kind of cat and I'm that kind of human. She sees me as her mother and is very kittenish and clingy around me. If she were of a more independent character I'd talk about her differently. I am aware that she isn't a human child - I don't want any of those. They're way too loud.
Posts: 1921 | From: Lurking under the ship | Registered: Aug 2003
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Earwig
Pincered Beastie
# 12057
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Posted
I call my cat "mummy's little furry parasite". Cats are very well adapted parasites, and mummy loves them, yes she does.
If I ever get a dog I will call it Grendel.
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
You strike me as more irritable these days lilBuddha.
Maybe you should consider changing religions? That whole nirvana and non-attachment shit doesn't seem to be doing much for you.
Like Christianity? You do not actually read posts on this website, do you?
I started this thread in an attempt to save the TICTH thread, which, ISTM, serves a function for a lot of posters here.*
And because I am irritated about the environment disasters caused by people not controlling their pets.**
*Concern for others. I do post on that thread, but not all that often.
**Concern for animals and people.
Explain to me how Christianity disagrees with these values?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
^ Christianity has more of a 'the earth is ours to conquer and exploit and fuck the consequences' vibe sometimes.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Right then, I'll switch. That attitude is bound to make me less grumpy.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Just for the record, I am not attacking Christianity. The weakest component of any religion is people. If we can just work out how to eliminate this weakness, religion will sort itself out nicely.
ETA: 'Tis true, LR, I made an assumption. Bad, lilBuddha, no enlightenment for you!
[ 03. February 2014, 11:56: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
Good question.
But religion-wise it has been all downhill for cats since their hay-day in ancient Egypt.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
No, no. Shinto is a violent game played in the Highlands involving wooden sticks and a lot of mud, where you beat the living daylights out of your enemies. I don't know if it works with cats, but might be worth a try.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
No it doesn't. They can't really hold the sticks with their paws and they have a tendency to stop playing to lick their bottom or have a snooze.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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JonahMan
Shipmate
# 12126
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
No it doesn't. They can't really hold the sticks with their paws and they have a tendency to stop playing to lick their bottom or have a snooze.
Strangely, this also applies to Og's older brother.
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Thank God for the aged
And old age itself, and illness and the grave
For when you're old, or ill and particularly in the coffin
It's no trouble to behave
Posts: 914 | From: Planet Zog | Registered: Dec 2006
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IngoB
Sentire cum Ecclesia
# 8700
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. We refer to them as "our babies".
I'm sure they look just like mum and dad, too.
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They’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipp’d for lying; and sometimes I am whipp’d for holding my peace. - The Fool in King Lear
Posts: 12010 | From: Gone fishing | Registered: Oct 2004
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by JonahMan:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
No it doesn't. They can't really hold the sticks with their paws and they have a tendency to stop playing to lick their bottom or have a snooze.
Strangely, this also applies to Og's older brother.
I'm having lunch with him in a few hours, and he will be so pleased to hear how we are speaking of him.
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I started this thread in an attempt to save the TICTH thread, which, ISTM, serves a function for a lot of posters here.*
In my summer internship at the District Attorney's office, I learned a number of lessons, but one that really stuck. It is easier to get someone to plead guilty to a major felony than to get someone to plead guilty for a dog at large ticket. Even when justified, people don't let anyone say anything bad about their dog. I understand what you were trying to do, but next time you should start with something less likely to elicit an emotional response, such as calling Mohamed or someone's mother to hell.
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 3259 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
but next time you should start with something less likely to elicit an emotional response, such as calling Mohamed or someone's mother to hell.
But, so far, the response has been rather meh.
I am dead serious about calling to Hell those who let their pets destroy wildlife.
Pin-headed, emotionally stunted imbeciles who let their cats prey on endangered animals.
Microcephalic morons who release their pets into the wild because they did not have the intelligence to understand the life cycle or the courage to end one life to save thousands.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
I LOVE MY FLOCK OF PET GNATS.
How can you possibly get offended when people are ooey and gooey about their pets? DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN TO US?
My gnats sleep with me almost every night when I am camping. They only stay away when the temperature is 40 degrees Fahrenheit or less. I have trained them to land on my nose and my eyelids and to fly all around my face and ears. I ALWAYS have company when I need it while camping. They are my precious pets.
The only reason why I don't have a picture of them over my bed is I can't afford a wide angle macro lens just right now.
So there grumpy boots.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
but next time you should start with something less likely to elicit an emotional response, such as calling Mohamed or someone's mother to hell.
But, so far, the response has been rather meh.
I am dead serious about calling to Hell those who let their pets destroy wildlife.
Pin-headed, emotionally stunted imbeciles who let their cats prey on endangered animals.
Microcephalic morons who release their pets into the wild because they did not have the intelligence to understand the life cycle or the courage to end one life to save thousands.
I'm involved in ornithological work, and quite frequently there is a hue and cry in the tabloids about various predators, such as magpies, killing young birds (which they do), so let's cull magpies. But many birders reply with one voice, 'OK, but let's start by shooting all the fucking cats'.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
And the bonus is that gnats will likely never cause any other species species to go extinct. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
How do you know? They might be carrying some disease deadly to the last remnants of some threatened species.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Oh Tortuf, to praise you or curse you. The laughter you caused induced a coughing fit. I shall settle for this ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I am afraid that for some of you h8rs of pets the wheel in your head is turning awful slowly now that you killed your gerbil.
Pets are some of the nicest people I know, present company included and excluded. You know who you are.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
The deceased rodent you smell is coming from a slightly closer source, n p. no one here has mentioned hating pets. Just irresponsible, selfish owners.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
actually, I mentioned hating my pets.
luckily, I have a soft spot for the little fuckers (in my head, obviously) so I'm over it for the moment.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. I don't give a single furry fuck if that bugs you.
Careful with the matches
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
no one here has mentioned hating pets.
Please sir! Me sir! I don't like dogs as pets! (Rounding up Sheep or pulling sledges or digging people out of snowdrifts - fine. Indoors? Nope.)
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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John Holding
Coffee and Cognac
# 158
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
No, no. Shinto is a violent game played in the Highlands involving wooden sticks and a lot of mud, where you beat the living daylights out of your enemies. I don't know if it works with cats, but might be worth a try.
Where is Campbelllite when we need him? I'm sure his cogitations on how to deal with cats must have included battering to death. THough it occurs to me that the kind of battering he had in mind involved beer, flour and a deep fryer.
John
Posts: 5929 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: May 2001
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
For those who have never seen it and those who want to re-read it, here is the Cats thread.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Good Lord, some of those smilies from the Old Days are annoying. Ditto some of the cuteness—the more I read, the more I'm on the side of those breaking out the barbecue sauce and making moggies go woof.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IngoB:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. We refer to them as "our babies".
I'm sure they look just like mum and dad, too.
I wish I was that cute.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Ad Orientem
Shipmate
# 17574
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
Well, that's the main reason why I would never have a dog. There's no way I'm picking up dog shit and carrying it around with me. I couldn't think of many things more demeaning.
[ 04. February 2014, 10:42: Message edited by: Ad Orientem ]
Posts: 2606 | From: Finland | Registered: Feb 2013
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IngoB
Sentire cum Ecclesia
# 8700
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by IngoB:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. We refer to them as "our babies".
I'm sure they look just like mum and dad, too.
I wish I was that cute.
Oh, so it's her looks but your brains?
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They’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipp’d for lying; and sometimes I am whipp’d for holding my peace. - The Fool in King Lear
Posts: 12010 | From: Gone fishing | Registered: Oct 2004
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Pretty much, yeah ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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