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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
"I'll make do with a roll."
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
So he sat with a beer and a sub*.
*Submarine roll.
While walking one day round the shops
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plug plug
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
I was tailed by a couple of cops
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
His hair's like a pair of old mops
A grumpy old girl from Tasmania
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
So the one who was dumber
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
went and married a plumber
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
With whom she found she was so much more zanier.
A jolly frog who came out of the pond
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
met a princess, with whom he did bond
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Croaked he: "Kiss me, my sweet."
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
It will be such a treat
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
And our kids will have hair greenish-blond.
A skeezy old crooner in Vegas
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Looked around and said, "What? No bodegas?"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294
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Posted
So where to get gin?
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You can't retire from a calling.
Posts: 1675 | From: saint meinrad, IN | Registered: Apr 2006
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
And generally sin...
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
In this city of all the lost wages.
There once was a lass from Cancun,
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Who cavorted stark naked at noon.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
the watchers all shivering
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
As they gaped at the midday full moon.
A doctor of dubious rep
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
For surgery never would prep.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
His hands were so foul
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
all his patients would howl...
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Then come down with a bad case of strep.
A clever young lad from Berlin
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Who thought his father was Merlin
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
cast spells in the street
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
But got bored and instead took up curlin'.
On a bright sunny day in July
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I was given a hot apple pie.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
With ice cream, vanilla
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
And scent of gorilla
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
I asked of the smug chef, "Oh Why?"
There was a young man from Dunblane
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Who really was a terrible pain
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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pimple
Ship's Irruption
# 10635
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Posted
He had no idea how to scan
[ 23. June 2014, 14:15: Message edited by: pimple ]
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In other words, just because I made it all up, doesn't mean it isn't true (Reginald Hill)
Posts: 8018 | From: Wonderland | Registered: Nov 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Neither anapest nor iamb
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
but at tennis the kudos he'd gain.
'Tis the season for strawb'rries and cream
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
In Atlanta, add humidity and steam
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Be it bishop or shaman
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Is that it hurts when we're hit by a beam.
A lizard from Cornwall one day
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
for his train ticket he could not pay
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plug plug
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
You see, he had no pockets
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And shouted, "Up, up and away!"
The vicar once said to his wife:
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
You're not really the love of my life
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
That honour would go
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
to my mate named Joe Blow...
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Cara
Shipmate
# 16966
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Posted
I wish he were my trouble and strife!
There once was a young legionnaire
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Pondering.
Posts: 898 | Registered: Feb 2012
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